Run No. 1305              11th Oct 2009

Venue:                          The Swan ;-)

Beer:                             Spitfire, Youngs Bitter, GK IPA :-)

Location:                       Wheathampstead

Hare:                             Mr. X

Runners:                       24

Virgins:                          0

Visitors:                         0

Newies:                         1                                 

Hounds:                        4

Après Hashers:            0

Total:                            29

Membership:               Water Babes!


                It was all a bit of a last minute rush for the Hare after he discovered that the original venue he had chosen over at Harpenden would be at the centre of the ‘Rothampstead 10K’ charity run, this would have meant that the chances of getting a parking place near to the Pub would be a rare as Rocking Horse shit, as there were over 3,000 entrants registered & parking is tight at the best of times in Harpenden!

            A quick call in at the Swan the day before & a chat to a Barmaid, made sure that it was Okay for the Hash to Run from the Pub, though the message didn’t get passed on to the Landlady until Sunday after opening time!  Just to make sure the Hash didn’t swamp the Pub’s small car park, the Hare stood on the corner to redirect Sloppy Seconds, Sparky, Anne & Alison down to the car park on Mead lane, behind the Bull Pub, which was a lot less far to walk than if the Trail had been in Harpenden!

            The Pack were only two short of an asylum when the Grand Monkey called the Circle together, absent at this point in time were My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Hyena as their bus had yet to arrive!  Having welcomed those gathered to the Hash, the GM introduced Edwin to the Pack as this week’s Virgin to Hashing. Edwin left the Circle & Paxo called the Hare forward to explain what lay in store for them on the Run.  There was little to say, it was the usual markings, there may be the odd encounter with other hounds, there were short cuts available & at one point cobnuts, chestnuts & probably coconuts were falling from the trees on the Trail.

            The Hash set off down to the junction with Church street, which is the start of the Harpenden road, the Pack crossed over this precarious junction to enter the gate in the walled grounds of St Helen’s Church.  Pepé le Pew held the gate open for the rest to pass through the graveyard & on by the Church, the GM enquired whether the Hash could run through the Churchyard?  The RA stated that there are three footpaths marked on the map running through the Church grounds

            The First CHK was found on the gap out of the walled grounds to the open park beyond, “On!” was quickly called on the path running diagonally across the green, passing a fenced-in kids playground on the way down to find the next CHK behind the last of the trees lining one side of the route. 

On the way down to the CHK, Mr. X told the GM that he thought he once heard that some footpaths were created by the carrying of a dead body to Church for burial?  As the Pack congregated at the CHK, only a few went off to search for the Trail, one False Trail went off through the iron gate on an enclosed shingle footpath through the new estate on what used to be the old grounds of ‘Helmets’ one time employer of Junior!

The Family Nutter were on their way down through the new estate just as the T was found up ahead of them, by the three beehives in the tree-lined boarder.  Calls of “On!” echoed from down a footpath off of the bend in Ash Grove.  Sludge, Skip & Sparky were off away pretty sharpish on the tarmac footpath winding is way around behind some local stables, & then the allotments, but they would be disappointed only to find a Bar CHK just over the narrow footbridge over the river Lea by the Lower Luton road.

Alison & Pasha were in the right place at the right time as the Hare marked the Trail up around the rest of Ash Gove.  The Trail now headed up the steep urban street, on the way the Hash passed by what Alison called a bit of topiary in one front garden, that was a bush had been cut in to the shape of a large rabbit, the RA thought that it had just been vandalised!

At the top of the road another CHK was found, Sparky, Skip, Sloppy Seconds, Paxo & Pepé le Pew started to venture off down Bury Green road, toward its dead end & a gate to the open farm fields beyond the houses, the Hare told the likes of No Eye Deer, Anne, Psycho & Alison, who were lurking around the CHK, not to go that way as he found that there was no access to the fields that way earlier while setting the Trail!

Sis & Molly caught up just as My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Hyena managed to do the same, My Lil’ was now up for joining the FRBs as he set off with the other Keenies, they followed Dust around on to the dead end High Meads for a short way before being lured off by Dust down a fenced in footpath that led out to the fields, it was a shame that they dragged almost all of the rest of the Pack on out on another False Trail.  Sis & Psycho managed not to fall for the Falsie as they as they were now ‘counseling’ Hyena after his split from Maxine that morning. 

On their return, the FRBs found that the Trail had been marked down to a cut through out to Church street, where Dust crossed the road & led up the hillside to a Held CHK just beyond the local School.  With the earlier Falsies keeping the Pack together the Hare didn’t need to hold the Hash there for long.  Sludge began to check out the option up Wick Avenue, he was soon stopped in his tracks as “On!” was called by Flip Top, the Grand Monkey & all of the Horrors as they continued further up the hill as Church Street becomes Brew House Hill.

The Trail switched sides of the road as the footpath ran out on the south side, at the top of the hill another CHK was found.  A few went to search off down Amwell lane, no doubt tempted toward the Elephant & Castle Pub, but they were soon coming back as My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead called “On!” a short way down Butterfield road, he disappeared down a footpath beside the local School that is now all boarded up, so well hidden behind the huge white wall of boarding that Skip didn’t even see it!

Hyena was now in ‘running’ mode & he was soon calling “On!” as he totted of behind the FRBs down the alleyway beside the School, the FRBs had to run a fair way down the tree lined path toward Noman’s Land Common, the old haunt of Katherine Ferrer’s (The Wicked Lady) before they stumbled upon a Bar CHK.

Again Alison & Pasha were in the right place at the right time, so were the GM, Spillage & Puddles, as was Anne who was now carrying Charlie.  The GM soon let the RA know that Anne had dropped Charlie in to the road, though it was exaggerated to sound as if she had shot putted the poor wee dog!  The Pack bunched up as they made their way along by the front of the School to the opposite end of Butterfield road, along the way both Sparky & Sludge were very vocal about being caught out on all of the False Trails so far!

By now those with local knowledge from previous Trails around these parts had realized that they would be turning right at the T-junction, one exception was Sparky who crossed straight over road to Sandridge before cottoning on that there was a CHK by the path down to the Wicked Lady Pub at Noman’s Land Common.  Meanwhile, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead had disappeared on the permissive path back toward the School, in the feral land behind it, he was spotted scaring the squirrels in the near by bushes!

Sparky crossed back over to the CHK & set off down toward Noman’s Land, he would run a long way down the False Trail before he found the T!  The rest of the Hash listened to Sludge as he finally chose the correct path for the first time on the Trail, they all made their way on to the footpath running between the fenced off back gardens of Allen’s Close & the tree line against the open fields to the west.  The untidy footpath emerged from the trees to run out across the expanse of seeded fields, it was a long trot down to the CHK at the field’s edge with Dyke lane.  Last time the Hash ran this path, it was the other way around & in 6 inches of snow at the beginning of February!

Skip & Sludge crossed straight over Dyke lane to look down the drive to Beech Hyde Farm, on the way they could look over at the Native American teepee in the front garden of one of the houses by the farm, Flip Top set off after them but My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead’s calling from down Dyke lane could be heard, though he could not be seen by now.

Sludge was back to his old ways & had found the T just beyond the wooden gate to the farmyard, both he & Skip vigorously called “On!” as they tried & failed to lure others on down the Falsie as well.  The Horrors were shepparded along the lane the short way to where Mr. X was standing by a narrow hole in the beech hedgerow, there the Hash were ushered in to the woodland on the other side of the hedge.

The Trail now weaved its way between the pine trees in the small plantation, before the path dropped down in to the ‘Devils Dyke’, which really isn’t a dyke but ancient earthworks dug out as fortifications for the local Belgæic tribe who settled there.  The route through the deep cutting saw some slippery shiggy, unless the tree stump stepping stones were utilized to keep Hash shoes dry, this would be a waste of time by the end of the Trail.  

The trees lining the top of each ridge were now in shedding their leaves, not to mention their nuts as a few of these dropped down on unsuspecting Hash heads below.  The ground levelled out as the Pack came up to the ornate iron gate set in the brick pillars at the end of the ’Dyke’, there a Held CHK was found, this was explained to Alison as a point where the whole of the Pack are supposed to ‘hold’ the CHK & regroup there.

Some of the Hash could now read about the history of the ‘Dyke’ on an information board, they could learn of how the Catavellauni tribe settled there, & how Julius Caesar defeated Cassivellaunus there in 54 BC, & about Sir Mortimer Wheeler’s archeological dig in 1932. 

When the majority of the Pack were at the CHK, the Hare allowed the Keenies to search again.  My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Flip Top started to search up on Tudor road, but No Eye Deer was on to the Trail as it led down Dyke lane to the Marford road, the Pack had to be careful as they crossed the busy Marford road to pass by the Nelson Pub on the corner, its still boarded up but now with ‘Sold’ signs on the outside, a few of the ‘local Hashers’ wondered if it would still be a Pub?

The Trail was now on its final stretch as it ran down the rustic Sheepcote lane, the penultimate CHK was found by the footpath over to the another set of local allotments.  Sparky continued down the lane, to search toward the ford, but he would find no Dust there & he came back to find the rest of the Pack were patiently making their way along the hedged in path. 

Sparky would easily catch up as the Hash were hindered by a father & son who were trying to ride their bikes on a footpath that clearly had a no cycling sign at the start of it!  The Pack finally got by them as the Path emerged on to a wider green track between the allotments & the first of a series of pony fields.  The last CHK was found at the junction with another footpath running off to the east, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead didn’t even bother searching straight on toward the local playing fields, he turned right & found the Trail down along the edge of the pony enclosure, therefore saved himself from running up to a T by the football pitches.

The Trail followed the footpath as it passed through a hedgerow & then turned northward, a series of kissing gates had to be negotiated as they separated each of the small paddocks.  The Hash saw there were plenty of Ewok sized ‘Thelwell Ponies’ in these enclosures, the Pack kept a ‘Hash Hush’ in order not to scare the mutant miniature equines.

The Trail came out to the open green by the river Lea, Sloppy Seconds followed on behind My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead as the blobs of Dust clearly led over to the river bank & by a tree an arrow pointed to the opposite bank.  As the Hare had said earlier to the Horrors, “Why take the Hash through a shallow ford, when there’s a wide & deeper river further along?”

All of the Hash, except Alison, waded through the Lea to a regroup on the other side, where the Hare would be handing out jelly babies.  The Grand Monkey & the RA were on hand to assist a few of the Harriettes, like No Eye Deer, who needed a hand be pulled up the steep bank to get out of the water.  When Pepé le Pew came splashing through the Lea there was no helping hand to lug him out of the Lea!

Sludge was a little reluctant to go in the water, he wanted to follow on behind Alison, but the RA’s comments toward him made him change his mind as soon as he entered the water Skip started to splash about a bit & some of the Hash played sill beggars in the river!  Pasha wasn’t at all like her owner when it came to the river, she made a bee-line for it & promptly laid down in the shallower bit!

The Pack enjoyed the jelly babies before they moved on up the river, all of their moves were watched by a group of kids who looked like they were on a Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme, they were agog as the wet Pack moved down to the next river crossing, just a bit further beyond the footbridge over the Lea.  Again the Hash waded through the river, this time No Eye Deer decided (foolishly) to splash out at the GM & immediately realized her mistake, but as Paxo looked at getting his revenge the RA kicked up a load of water up as he ran on by the GM!

The Pack now made their way back to the down Meads lane, Hyena was now happy as he passed by the sewage works to come out to the East Lane car park.  A quick change was in order before returning to the Swan for a few bevvies.  The whole Trail took just an hour to get around, Flip Top said that My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Kylie should take note of how to set Trail like the RA does!  (What was Flip Top after?)

The GM toasted the Hash & then the Curate awarded Mr. X his Down-Down for setting a fine Trail, which he got My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Kylie out to take notice of , perhaps to try & educate them on a perfect length Trail, doubt that it sank in?  The RA finished his Down-Down & then proceeded to award the rest of the Hits.

 Mr. X said that along the Trail he heard some moaning, from Sparky & Sludge about them falling for the most number of Falsies; next up was No Eye Deer as the RA pointed out that there was more moaning to be heard & this was a very common one around the Pack, cries of “Where’s the Book?” Apparently it was left on her dressing table!

Edwin was out for completing his first Herts Hash Trail; next out was Anne & she was up for a name, ideas went around the Circle & in the end her surname came in to play & she was christened ‘Roger (the cabin boy!)’ Hyena was out for being in need of some counselling since he is now single, the RA’s idea of helping him over coming his split up is to award him an Ale to help obliterate his memory!  My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was out for his still waiting for his operation & not being able to appreciate jazz mags, he was joined by Kylie for something that happened out in Oostende!