Run No. 1310 15th November 2009
Beer: Buntingford Beagle, Ruby Dark, Hobgoblin, London Pride to name a few
Hares: Kylie & Mumblehead
Après Hashers: 0
Membership: Drowned Rats!
The weather couldn’t have been anymore of a contrast from the day before, when the two hares were out & about setting the Trail, while everyone with any sense at all were tucked up in their homes out of the wet, stormy conditions! So, it was a pretty good turnout indeed with the sun out & hardly a cloud in the sky.
Sis asked My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead how his wrists were, he had them cut on Friday to cure ‘Tunnel Carpel Syndrome’ & was lucky that it was done by a Surgeon, a some of the Hash were quiet prepared to do this for him after the previous week’s Run he set. He told those present that the good news is that he still can wipe his own arse! Sis didn’t find this thought as bad as everyone else, just goes to show what the Nursing profession have to deal with!
The Hares seemed to be late on parade as the Pack gathered in the public car park, some of the them whiled away the time with an amusing tale of hearing that Mark E Mark wasn’t a happy bunny that morning, not since he had to break in to his own van after locking himself out of it, Doh!
Once he had finished chortling with the others, the RA phoned Kylie to see where the Hares were, he was told that he & Mumblehead were on their way around & had picked up the likes of Spotted Dick, Custard & Sparky with them. Ironically, Sparky witnessed Kylie put down blobs of flour to as a False Trail as they were led around to the car park!
The GM called the Circle together just after 11:00hrs, the Hares were called forward to tell the Pack what to expect to encounter out on the Trail, then someone’s mobile went off! The bit of the spiel that did bring a few jeers was when he mentioned that it was “3 & On!”. Just as Kylie sent the Pack off, he shouted out that there were Short Cuts available, which no doubt cheered up Fartin Martin & Hyena, the latter was knackered from having missed the first bus & he had to run to catch the Train to meet up with My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Mr. X in St Evenage.
The Trail left the car park & the first CHK was found at the exit on Bowling Green lane, it was here that Sparky led a few astray as he called “On!” from the False Trail he witnessed the Hare lay in front of him! The Pack soon found the real option, once Kylie had called them back from the falsie, this was down the alleyway at the side of the local school grounds. Along here it was time for Winston to stop & lighten the load as he normally does!
Sis made sure the Horrors crossed the road safely when the Trail emerged out on to the junction of the Baldock road with Monks walk, from where the Keenies had called “On!”. The Dust led along the residential street to a CHK on the first bend in the main Monks Walk road. The likes of Skip & Mr. X thought that the Trail would head down to an alleyway, at the opposite corner of Monk’s Walk where a footpath takes the route of the old railway, they were wrong.
The Dust led out of the estate at the first corner & left through a gate to cross the crop field of little green shoots, the going was hard as the clay was pretty slippery on the footpath over to the A10 by-pass, the bright sun shining in to the Pack’s eyes didn’t help the situation either.
Skip vainly attempted to rid himself of some of the clay that had clumped around his Hash shoes as he climbed up the steps of the footbridge across the dual carriageway. On his descent on the other side, with Party Animal, he realised that he was wasting his time when he saw the landscape ahead!
Another field was crossed before the path came down through the greener grassland to the west of the village, along the way the hounds got to play with an old Labrador & a Jack Russell that were being taken for a walk by their civilian owner. Sis was brave enough to let Lucy off the lead to run amok with the others on this part of the Trail, Lucy even came back when called!
The Keenies passed by Pebble Dash, 2-1-2 Maureen, Psycho, Custard, Lobby Lobster & Paxo as the Trail ran down the sloping land of Apsenden manor. The Trail passed through a gap in the ivy covered trees in the hedgerow & then led on through the peaceful grounds of St Mary’s church & out on to Aspenden lane.
Sludge, Flip Top, Skip led the way as Dust was quickly found from the CHK outside of the Church grounds. As the FRBs ran along the uncapped track, full of large puddles, the Hares put in a short cut down Aspenden lane, only Hyena & Fartin Martin choose to take that option as the rest all went on the proper route.
It was along the water-logged stretch that Six Pack, Puddles & Back Pack were in their element with running & splashing through the puddles, I don’t know who was having more fun in the water the Horrors or the hounds. At a junction in the farm track a CHK was found & Flip Top deemed that the Keenies should hold this & allow the others to catch up. Sludge had to contain himself as he was straining to carry on.
The Horrors were happy to hang around as this meant that they could carry on splashing around in the puddles, well they could until Flip Top decided to be ‘grumpy old Hector’ & put a stop to it as some of the adults were getting slightly splashed! Mr. X & Sludge discussed how things have changed from the days when a bit of splashing & shiggy throwing was par for the course amongst H4, especially when Slimer was around!
Mr. X said that as he could recall Flip Top wasn’t adverse to a bit of the old Shiggy himself, still it was one of the catalysts that caused the split & spawned H5 from us. Two of the Pack have been especially invited to the H5 Christmas Party, ooooooooooooooohh! There was plenty of screaming, no not at an invite to go to H5’s Party! Most of the shrieking sounded like it was coming from Pebble Dash as the hounds, the Horrors & the adults (?) splashed about in the puddles, as we all know Flip Top had no control over canines nor the rest of the Hash! Unless of course he is saying “Winston sh*t & not sit?
My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was relieved that the splashing had stopped as he didn’t want the stitches on his wrists to get wet with the brackish water. While Winston lapped at the puddle, the Keenies wanted to get on with things, Kylie soon arrived & allowed them to continue the search.
Skip, Flip Top, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead all choose to search northward beside the Tudor Stud, but Mr. X was convinced that the Trail would use a route that he had set a Trail on many moons ago. Sludge was of the same opinion & the two set off looking through the field on the other side of the tributary to the Rib. Carefully hidden behind one of the brassicas in the small field, a lump of Dust was found by these two just as “On!” was called from the other option!
Sticking with their original plan paid off for Mr. X & Sludge, as well as Sloppy Seconds who had followed them up to the footpath running through the tree-line separating the upper & lower fields.
On the way through the secluded path there were plenty of large sloes littering the path, the Pack passed by a couple out doing some worthy work on the maintaining the hedgerow.
Sludge & Mr. X were first to the CHK where the footpath comes out at a junction with a wide old uncapped drive. Sludge choose to search up to the west, while the RA stuck with his instinct that the Trail would head down to the Fox at Aspenden. It was the RA who found the Dust as it led back down to Aspenden lane, as he looked to the right he could see two portly figures up ahead, these were Fartin Martin & Hyena.
As the RA trotted along to catch the SCBs he realised that they had turned around & were now heading back toward him!” They had lost Dust, which wasn’t surprising as they had walked by the footpath up along side a cottage, this led eastward & up in to the woodland behind the home. Mr. X was now pulling away from the rest as he flowed the Dust through the leafy path & out to the open crop field behind.
The RA son fell foul of the Hares when he found the next CHK situated in a large gap in the hedgerow separating the two fields, choosing to carry straight on toward the A10 was the wrong option! Sludge & sloppy Seconds were now on the correct route on a footpath across the adjacent seeded field.
The RA came halfway back up the original path he was lured down, then he cut through a gap by a large oak to across to where Sludge, Sloppy Seconds & Pepé le Pew were running. Fartin Martin was pretty vocal as he came to the corner of the field & start following on behind the others, he was accusing the RA of short cutting, & no doubt cropping as well, but the RA pointed out that the footpath sign pointed up the field & not diagonally as was the route he was on!
Since the footpath had been ploughed up & disappeared beneath the newly planted crop it was hard to see where to go & so a little cropping would be inevitable! The Keenies headed out to the single carriageway part of A 10 by-pass & crossed over to run back through another crop field to come back in to Buntingford.
Sludge, Sloppy Seconds & the RA now found themselves out on their own as they firstly fell for a short False Trail out toward the local sports fields. Just as the trio were about to split up to look for Dust, & the RA run down in to a dead end cul-de-sac, a local informed him that there was no way out of there & so they set off on the little loop around another part of the estate to lead out to the road running parallel to the playing fields, & there the Trail was picked up.
Now, as the Pack came down Luynes rise to a green telecom box, some where lured over the road & off on the footpath running along the edge f the pitches the kids Sunday soccer was taking place on, there was no Dust down there. Others of the Hash would become confused, bewildered & puzzled a little further down by three other footpath options, while a few continued to complete the whole Trail & others just short cut straight back to the On Inn!
The confusion etc came from the fact that there were T’s placed on both the alleyway options to the north, on that side of the road, but on the south side there was a large single arrow directing the Pack away from the On Inn & off on a southerly alleyway.
Sludge, Sloppy Seconds & Mr. X found these & didn’t have much of a problem in understanding that they were to followed the arrow, I shall not name names, but one ‘grumpy old Hector’ (with Winston) was bamboozled by all of this!
The RA led the way down the alleyway & as it ran between the back gardens of the estate he saw Alison & Pasha coming toward him! Alison asked him if he was on the Hash Trail? He was & this confirmed her belief that both herself & Roger (the cabin boy) were doing the Trail backward, after they had a very late start! Not to worry as everyone has probably done this at sometime in their Hash career?
After a brief chat with Alison about the F.U.K. Full Moon in Stony Stratford a couple of weeks back, the RA set about finding the way In. With a little inside knowledge, the FRBs now followed the footpath around by the tributary to the Rib on a slight detour through its wooded bank side, then out by the local Council refuse collection point!
The Trail now turned left to head north-eastward, along the way Mr. X recalled a Joint Cambridge Hash they had there many years ago when they were at the Railway & of the very eccentric Landlord who ran it at the time!
Unfortunately the Dust didn’t go as far as the Pub, instead it turned northward to take the footpath high up among the trees on the bank of the river Rib. The Keenies could now sense that they were on the ‘Inn Trail’ as the Dust led them through various little cul-de-sac & back streets of an estate before coming out on to the main road, this wasn’t the end of the Trail though.
At the main zebra crossing, the Trail crossed over by the sorry sight of the boarded up Jolly Sailors on the junction with Hare street, more arrows directed the Hash over the Hare street road & on down Union Terrace, taking a scenic route back by the Rib, passing the group of ducks gathered on the bank of the river below.
Half way along the footpath & a CHK had been laid beside the bridge over to the entrance to a local park, it was to try & throw the FRBs off of the scent so the RA offered to let Sludge & Sloppy Seconds to go off & search the park grounds, but they selfishly stuck with following him up, via a slightly convoluted route through Dell Spring to the ford at the end of the Causeway. By the tone in his voice you could tell that Sludge wasn’t that keen on getting his Hash shoes wet, yet he needn’t have feared as the water level was below the concrete floor, unlike last time we ran through the water!!
Once over the Rib, the Trail came back to the High street by way of an alley, with a large redbrick wall to the left, the ‘On Pub’ was found, which isn’t quite the same as ‘On Inn’ But no one cared as they were around the Trail in just over an hour, a long list of others like Spotted Dick, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, Hyena & Flip Top didn’t care about the legend not reading ‘On Inn’ as they had short-cutted up the High street & missed it completely! At least the Hares were happy to hear that three of the Pack had run the entire Trail.
The Pack settled in to Brambles to enjoy the Ales, well nearly all as a grumpy old Hector commented on the markings used by the Hares. No one else was bothered. The Hash were treated to some hot sausage rolls, as they sorted out their Christmas dinner arrangements with Sis! They were spoilt even more with a huge plate of cheese, beetroot, onions & grapes!
The circle was out in the back garden, the GM toasted the Hash & then the Hares were cheered when the RA asked what the Pack thought of the day’s Trail? My Lil’ Sperm’ead said that the Trail was too short! So, why did he short cut then?
Anyhow, the Hares were rewarded with Ales for their Down-Downs, unlike the water last week’s Hare received! Though Kylie did struggle with his & was soundly beaten by Mumblehead!
Flip Top was out for a Down-Down as the only one not to appreciate the Trail, well two bits of it with the Kids splashing in the puddles & the marking which confused him!
Pepé le Pew was out after the RA mentioned an absence of Hash paraphernalia, one was the Hashit & the other was the set of scales, apparently the weigh-off is over but it seems that Pepé le Pew is carrying on with his weight loss to show the rest of us how to do it & have a head start after Christmas! His Down-Down didn’t go so well as he did a ‘Hyena’ & Ale came spurting out of his nose as he choked on the last mouthfuls of Beer! Hyena went to give out too much information about the times it has happened to him, though the most spectacular one was due to the adverse effects of drinking Mark E Mark’s chilli Scotch!
Fartin Martin was brought out next & in a show of how to Down his Hit, yes he actually did it in a fairly decent time, after accusing the RA of cropping & SCBing while he wasn’t on the footpath himself! Sparky was out for his dramatic stand back on Aspenden lane, when he gallantly leapt ‘superhero-like’ in to the road to flag down a motorist & inform them that there were runners behind him on the lane! (Where were these runners?)
My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was awarded the last half as he managed to do more than Christ & was resurrected after only two days after his operation, he bravely soldiered & had to use both hands to lift his pints up & drink from the glass until the halfway mark when he could use just the one hand, now that is proper exercise!The Pack retired back to the Bar to enjoy the rest of the real Ales on offer, where a few of them picked up some wining £5 voucher scratch cards for Wychwood products, booking up the Christmas dinner, & hearing about how Sis went to get some fallopian tubes when she was asked by senior staff when she first started out nursing!