Run No. 1316              27th December 2009

Venue:                         The GM’s gaff

Beer:                            John Smiths, Mark E Mark’s excellent home-made cider, Stella

Location:                      Ware

Hares:                          Pepé le Pew

Runners:                      26

Virgins:                         0

Visitors:                        0

Newies:                         0                                 

Hounds:                        0

Après Hashers:           5

Total:                            31

Membership:               Nut roast stuffed Turkeys!


            2-1-2 Maureen summed it up as Chez Paxo rapidly filled up with Hashers, “There’s too many people here now!” she bemoaned as she readied herself for the off.  Ketch Up brought along what looked like a whole turkey as his ‘left-overs’ to contribute with to the Curry for the après Trail feast.

Eventually the GM called the Pack outside to form a Circle out the front of the house, there Paxo stood, all resplendent in his red socks & a pair of flip-flop like slippers.  The neighbours weren’t impressed, certainly not Pepé le Pew or Pebbledash as the footwear was pointed out!

Mark E Mark & Mr. X both commented on Pepé le Pew’s red Mohican was a hat when he complained about the cold fresh breeze, in a feeble attempt to placate the shivering Pack the Hare said that most of the Trail was in valleys.  The RA said that it wouldn’t be so good if the wind juts happened t be funnelled through one of the said valleys!

            The Hare explained what the Pack could except out on that Trail, shiggy was mentioned, as well as short cuts, the mention of the Horror of Fish Hooks brought a few groans came from those who have fallen for these cruel devices! 

But it was the talk of an HP stop that really caught the attention of the Pack. The P at this regroup stood for Port & this was especially noted by those who weren’t driving.  Without further a do the Pack set off from the CHK directly outside of the Grand Monkey’s home, as the Pack left, Paxo disappeared back inside to put his pinny on & cook the curry.

            The FRBs were soon at the end of Parnel road, where they ran around the corner of Cromwell road & straight over Beech road to find an ‘On Inn’ this completely threw the FRBs.  Mark E Mark said “We’ve found the On Inn, is that it, back to Paxo’s?” Pepé le Pew wasn’t going to allow that & the search resumed.

            Mark E Mark, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Mr. X searched around toward the cul-de-sac of Ash road, they picked up Dust & called on, but as they followed the Dust out through a gap in the hedgerow & on to the edge of the crop field they found a T.  Those who didn’t fall for this falsie weren’t going to be so smug as they all headed down Cozens road to the south, they were encouraged by the Hare to run on by a footpath off to the fields behind the houses on the east side of the road, they were soon coming back when they realised that they too had been duped by the crafty Hare to run a Falsie!

            Windmill & Doris made me come led they way out around the hedged in end of the field, yes Doris made me come was down from Edinburgh for his second Herts Run, exactly a year after his first one!  At least he is regular!

            The Trail made its way around the perimeter of the barren fields to get on to the next CHK at the junction where the footpath joins the wider farm track of Wood lane.  Doris made me come followed on as Windmill & Mr. X both chose to head off to the north east, no one else bothered to search in the opposite direction.  Mr. X explained to Doris made me come that there were more running options from the path they were now checking out than in the other direction!

Windmill picked up the Dust as the route passed by the strip of woodland, the Keenies would soon be stopped by a T & so had to make their way back toward the CHK, as they did so a few disappeared in amongst the trees to find the Trail ran through the spine of the wood, Kylie was pretty quick to point out that the RA was on the outside track still, but more than that he was on his mobile phone!  The Pack had grouped up again as Puddles, Spillage, Pebble Dash, Princes & Ketch Up pushing the buggy all caught up by the time the Keenies had began searching from the CHK at the end of the wood.

            On was called from back on the Wood lane track, here the shiggy became deeper & the pace dropped as the Pack negotiated their way through the slippery mud.  The FRBs had the sent of Trail in their nostrils as they came down to Swades farm, highlighted with its Cross of St George flying from a flag-pole there, there was no hesitation in which of the two options to take & they all took to the footpath off to the north between Swades Farm & Newhole Farm.

            The Trail now led in to wood & there an arrow with Short Cut written beneath it was found.  Windmill, Mark E Mark & My Lil’ S perm ‘ead were straight through on the path that drops down to the meadow in the valley, Mr. X & Sludge arrived at the Short Cut & Sludge was so tempted to break off & take the easy way out but in the presence of the RA he too  took the long option.

Down in the meadow & Windmill took the long uphill path toward Fanhams Hall, he would soon be back, as would Mark E Mark & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead after they went around the outside of the wood to find a T as well.  The other option was the southerly footpath back toward woods lane track, so this was searched & soon the Keenies there discovered that they were on a loop back around to the Short Cut, by way of the verge separating two fields.

No Eye Deer caught up with the RA & Sludge just as they turned back on the route through the edge of the wood that had got them to the CHK.  The Keenies all came back to find fresh arrows to direct everyone on to the Short Cut Trail!  There were a few grumblings at being caught out by the Hare’s trickery, but as they FRBs passed by Psycho, Mrs Sludge, Princess, 2-1-2 Maureen & the Hare they would soon stop when they realised they were heading on to the HP stop up by Morley Hall.

Pebbledash was found with Koda up by the CHK, the Hare arrived to dish out the Port while Pebbledash handed out the sweets.  A few discussed where they were, as they viewed & correctly named Wareside & Babbs Green over in the distance, as the Hash doesn’t usually come out this way from the Grand Monkey’s gaff!

Now, having had one large port, seconds were dished out to those who weren’t driving, but Sloppy Seconds was & he stuck to a small one but if you heard the conversation he was having with Ewok & Pebbledash then you would have thought different.  There was a quiet pause as the discussion about female clothing was interrupted by Sloppy Seconds mentioned he had trouble with his bra!

The time came for the pack to move on & the SCBs were advised to take the out Trail back, which they did, while the rest of the Pack headed off down the lane from Morley ponds, but not before an old wreck of a car passed by on its annual outing!

Ewok was quickly away down the lane, she may have been dragged along by Belle, she could have been over enthusiastic, or a combination of both as she, Windmill & Doris made me come found the first Fish Hook!  The three had to go to the back of the Pack &then run it all again.  Ewok was unimpressed at the devious device the Hare had used, it’s the type of nasty trick that H5 would use!  A few mentioned that the Hare could have put a few more in down this narrow rustic lane to catch out more, three at a time!

The Trail came down to the junction with the Wareside road, Windmill was first there, having caught up from the Fish Hook, & overheard what others had said, he turned around at the small triangle at the edge of the main road & made out that he had found another Fish Hook!  My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead wasn’t going to fall for Windmills’ trickery, it was hard enough with the Hares tomfoolery let alone Windmill adding to it!

The Trail crossed the road & too to the footpath running down the hillside to a CHK by the farm drive over a bridge spanning the former Buntingford railway line.  Mr. X, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, Windmill & Sludge all descended down to the level of the old line below, Dust was found & they led the way along the floor of the valley to0 the next CHK where a footpath breaks away from the old line’s route.

The Keenies all headed out over a fallow field to a bridge over the Ash, once over the river they found a T!   Sludge was heard to say “I am going to take a short cut if its allowed!” but the RA turned back to run the Trail properly.  Sludge decided not do what he had said & he tagged along behind Windmill & T-B-T on the short cut along the drive back to the old railway line!

For a brief while Belle had gone missing as the returning Keenies were asked to look for her, but as she soon popped out on to the railway line.  Now the Pack moved on along to Watersplace farm, the three who had short-cutted earlier almost caught up with the Mark E Mark & Kylie who had taken to the footpath east, as they could see that the Path would turn 90º at the end of the field, the naught SCBs were at it again as they cut diagonally across the field, but cutting the corner off meant that they wouldn’t run up to the T on the proper path!

The Trail was back by up through the farm yard & across the Wareside road to a farm track back to Swades & Newhole farms, from there on in it was case of following the Out Trail back to one of the ‘On Inns’ seen at the start of the Trail.

Back up through the Shiggy track, & Doris made me come said “Ah, you call it shaggy as well as Edinburgh Hash?”  Mr. X said as far as he knows it’s a general term used in Hashing that may have originated out in Malaysia or is some form of pigeon English?

Once up on the level, Windmill & Doris made me come headed off on the out Trail, while Sludge & the RA cut off that field by taking the earlier footpath from the end of the elongated strip of woodland.  Sludge thought that he would extract his revenge on Windmill by calling out “On! On!” & then “On back!”  but Windmill couldn’t hear him & so he carried on.

The Pack caught up with Princess, Daddies Sauce, & Ketch Up, who was pushing Jarron’s buggy & it looked like the going had been tough by the state of the wheels, they were the front f the SCBs.  It was now a case of just walking along the edge of the field & then off through the kids park at the end to come out back via Beech road & one of the On Inns to Parnel Road.

The Pack changed, & chez Paxo now had a jumble sale of dirty Hash shoes outside the back door, it was chaos inside the house but not to worry as Mark E Mark cracked open one of the two gallons of his home made Cider, it was absolutely perfect!  He’s now been asked to produce more for next year!

The Hash started on the snacks, lots of peanuts, Bombay mix, biscuits & Pringles, Ray & Eddie had made a gingerbread house, it was pretty good, though No Eye Deer wasn’t that keen on eating something that small Horrors had made, no one else was worried & the house was soon demolished!

The food was ready & the Horrors were served first, followed by the Harriettes & then the Gannets!  There was plenty to go around & among the delights brought along by the Hash were T-B-T’s veggie wraps, Fanny Craddock’s Paxo’s flaky pastry nut roast, though there was nothing wrong with nay of the rest of the food.

The RA decided to get the Down-Downs out of the way before the second course was served up.  The Hare was thanked for setting a crafty Trail, as Pepé le Pew was dealing with his hit, the Beer Master was helping himself to some of the last of Mark E Mark’s Cider from Pepé le Pew’s glass!  The RA spotted this & so Kylie was in the circle next & Pepé le Pew could retrieve his drink!

Windmill, T-B-T & Sludge were out for their short cutting that led to them going off Trail on the way back!  Doris made me come was out for being regular, after his second run with Herts a year from his debut! The host & hostess were rewarded for holding the ‘Left over run’ again.  Finally the Hashit went to the RA for not wearing it the week before!

If the first course wasn’t enough, then Lobby Lobster’s apple & pear bread pudding was divine, as was 3D’s Mars Bar Cheese cake, all washed down with Ewok’s home made Wassail! 

The conversation certainly went down after this (Oh, no! shouldn’t have said that!) as the alcohol took effect, Pebbledash was soon on form as smutty innuendoes flew about the living room.  She was overheard that the RA had a trim downstairs for when he wore a kilt at the Christmas party, she wanted to know if this was to make him look bigger, the RA said he can’t see he had noticed!

Pepé le Pew questioned No Eye Deer on why she hadn’t brought her teenage daughter along to the Hash?  Seems that No Eye Deer is not that stupid!

The Hash slowly departed after an excellent day, all feeling suitably stuffed & with the knowledge that the Herts Charity Diet may be resurrected next year.