Run No. 1318 10th January 2010
Venue: The Half Moon
Beer: Doom Bar
Hares: Mr. X
Après Hashers: 0
Membership: Trekking through the snow!
11 Hardly souls made the effort to turn out for the late change of venue for this Trail, the forecasted bad weather had failed to arrive & things weren’t too bad, with the roads being fairly clear & even most of the pavements had been gritted as well!
The Hare arrived back & placed his Trail marking bag down by a pillar for the entrance of the old coaching house gates, Roger arrived with Charlie & he proceeded to cock his leg up the bag of flour & sawdust! The Hare then removed the outer bag & binned it!
Pete & Millie soon arrived, as Roger said there was no way he would miss this Trail as it is his local Pub, “Second Home” were the exact words used. He’s not the only one to accused of that.
The Landlady opened up so the Hash could store their Bags inside before setting off on the Trail, soon the Hash were gathered outside for the off but there was a slight delay as Porky Pie had to take a detour on his way to the Pub to get some money out.
Finally the RA called the Circle together, & in the absence of the GM, he welcomed everyone to the correct Run number! He went on to tell that the Trail was marked in flour, flour & wood chippings & just plain old hamster bedding wood chippings! The Pack were warned that although the pavements were pretty clear, it was still slippery in places so they should take care!
The First CHK was found outside of the Lord Lister Hotel, the building almost adjacent to the Half Moon, Porky Pie crossed over the roundabout to run down Bridge street but he would find no Dust down there & he finally came back after being AWOL for some time. Did he have to withdraw some more money?
The Pack were soon making their way up Taylors Hill on the enclosed footpath, the first part of which was cleared by the grit that had been put down. A CHK was found where another footpath branches off to left & runs behind the homes on Sandy Grove, the falsie straight on was found so it was a case of running between the back gardens of Park Gate & Sandy Grove
As the Hare approached the CHK he could see that some of the FRBs were having trouble reading the markings & had turned around from a Bar CHK & had made their way back beyond the steps where they were supposed to ascend up in to the court of Sandy Grove. They were sent back & soon found their mistake.
As Pete, Millie & Roger the Cabin Boy, with Charlie, were sent up on a short cut through the T to Standhill road, Pete was heard discussing where their friends lived, in one of the near by houses, they were soon up on to Standhill & were directed down it to a CHK by the bottom of St John’s path, back by junction with Park street. The FRBs were a little way behind now, having taken gone a little astray on the loop, it took them a while to realise they had made another mistake. The Hare was happy!
From the CHK down by St John’s path only Porky Pie was brave enough to venture up the very steep footpath that looked very dicey with its covering of snow. Meanwhile Flip Top had carried on up the Park street toward the Three Moorhens when he noticed a side road across on the other side, he cut across & found Dust!
My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was quick to point out that the Curate was Short Cutting as the Trail came up by way of the rising footpath on the high bank above the road, little did My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead know that his snitching would not work with the RA as he was going to let the Curate dish out any Down-Downs at the Circle!
ARP, No Eye Deer & Hyena struggled up the steep snowy slope, it seems that those who were running had a better footings in the snow. The Trail led up to a set of steps in to the narrow wooded strip pine trees, there the next CHK was found. The consensus from the FRBs of My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, Flip Top & Porky Pie all decided to go off down the snow covered footpath beside the grounds of the Priory, only Hyena chose the wrong option of checking it out to the southward in the wood!
Sloppy Seconds hesitated as he began to make his way down the hillside beside the Priory grounds, this was when the hare called out “On! On!” from behind him as he too set off down from the CHK! ARP wanted to know if this was ‘The priory’ on the right, the RA confirmed this but it probably isn’t the type of Priory that most Hashers think of, the one where the likes of Robbie Williams & Amy Winehouse go!
Sloppy was doping well considering he had risen from his death bed, with that very serious complaint of ‘Man Flu’ to be with the Hash this morning! So he could be forgiven for being confused, he was soon on his way down the hill with No Eye Deer beside him as the path passed out of the wooded verge & on to the side of the Park way on a bridge over the river Hiz.
The FRBs had followed the loop around a series of short footpaths to be brought back around on a U-shaped route via an underpass to the opposite side of Park way, Flip Top led the way to a Held CHK just a short way down Willow lane.
The majority of the rest of the hash soon spotted the Keenies lurking over by a green telecom box, so they cut across over the top of the main road at that slushy junction. The Hare waited for Pete, Millie & Roger the Cabin Boy to catch up & he thought that he had seen them coming out of the wood & up to the main road, so he let the Keenies continue searching for the Trail.
It didn’t take those with more than a hundred Runs under their belts to realise that the Trail would head toward the hamlet of Charlton, the Dust led them off of Willow lane & down the Charlton lane but any thought of a Beer Stop at the Windmill was soon dispelled as a CHK was found across the lane from the Kennel farm entrance.
A Falsie was found on the wide farm, track back out to the bottom of Priory Park on Hitchin Hill, so the alternative was to take to the footpath crossing the crop field by the Kennel farm, sure enough the Trail took to the gentle rise up on the uneven crops field, this led on behind the new buildings of what look like holiday accommodation in Charlton & on to a CHK just before the stile out on to Windmill lane by way.
Surprisingly a few of the FRBs went astray again as they tackled the steep icy climb up the hedged in lane, it was Flip Top & Sloppy Seconds who seemed to have sussed it out as they took to Windmill lane to pick up the Dust as it ran around the bend in the narrow lane, passing the picturesque little cottages on the way to the entrance to a red brick farm’s stables.
The Trail led off along the narrow lane linking the farm buildings to Brick Kiln lane, there the Hare was found waiting for the Pack to catch him up after he short cut by running up to the Windmill & crossing the Ford to the CHK by a snow covered bench, which offered the Curate as a seat! The Curate refused the offer of sitting down!
Hyena & No Eye Deer came back from going the wrong way on the by-way of Windmill lane, they even made it look good as they ran up the short lane to the CHK. When it came to resuming the search, ARP & No Eye Deer decided to look up Brick Kiln lane, while My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Porky Pie took everyone else up the steep footpath between the fenced off enclosures, one of which had some black pigs that had emerged from their sty’s to see what was going on.
No Eye Deer & ARP found that their choice of clambering a flight of steps in to a field above Brick kiln lane was a Falsie, they refused the Hare’s offer for a short cut up the lane & through a T. Instead they followed on behind the FRBs up the footpath. The going wasn’t easy & the Pack had to be careful of the slippery snow as well as taking heed of the sign warning of the barbed-wire fence running along one side of the path.
Once out on to one of the plateaus of Hitchin Hill a CHK was found but some where a bit too keen to get home, perhaps it was because out on the exposed expanse they were now at the mercy of the cold wind, but they ran over the snow laden field toward the opposite corner, unfortunately they only found a T from the next CHK a bit further around the corner of the field they had emerged on to after the climber up.
The Pack made their way over to where the Hare was standing at the next CHK, eventually there was enough of the Pack there for the Keenies to start searching for Dust again. Porky Pie choose to look up Brick Kiln lane, while My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, Hyena & Flip Top all ventured out in to the opposite field, as for No Eye Deer, well, she started top head down Brick Kiln lane toward the Windmill. The Hare stopped her from going too far in the wrong direction.
Porky Pie picked up the Dust & hollered out “On! On!” to make the rest of the pack rally around & follow on behind him up the hedged in Brick Kiln lane, the brambles at least gave some shelter from the now biting wind.
On the way up around Brick Kiln lane to a CHK by the alleyway on top of the plateau, behind the Gosmore road, No Eye Deer admitted that she really did had no idea as to where they were running, she seemed impressed at the Hare’s knowledge of the area & correctly surmised that he had been over this route several times before. Its hard o forget this place as it seems that the good people of Gosmore road le their dogs leave their eggs everywhere, the place was worse than the streets of Brussels for dog sh*t!
The Pack quickly picked up the Dust at the end of the short alleyway, some laughed on the way when they spotted the ‘Don’t let you dog foul the area’ sign on one wooden fence, perhaps the dog owners can not read? The then seemed to loose it straight away once they had emerged on to Priory way, the Hare pointed out the flakes of Hamster bedding leading across the two parts of the small green by the cul-de-sac on the u-shaped road, to Porky Pie. My Lil’, Sperm ‘ead was now straight on to the Trail as he sensed he was now on the homeward stretch as it crossed over to another alleyway, this one led back out to the top of Hitchin Hill.
The FRBs were quickly across the open top end of the field, most didn’t stop to take in the beautiful vista of miles of white unspoilt Herts country side rolling away from Hitchin Hill, they were simply happy enough to get on to the footpath in among the shelter of the trees, they were now heading home.
The RA looked out over the tundra like view to see if Roger the Cabin Boy, Pete & Millie were on a short cut, but he couldn’t see them. Perhaps they had stopped to carry Charlie, as his little stubby legs struggle a bit normally, let alone in the snow? Better not let Hyena hear of this otherwise he’ll want carrying around as well!
After simply coming out to the footbridge over the main A602 Park way, across from the Three Moorhens roundabout, the Pack negotiated the dodgy conditions of the snow covered route to find the ‘On Inn’ just by the path in to the continuation of the strip of woodland.
Once the hash had made their way down the snow covered path on the high embankment, & down to the level of Park lane, it was case of wandering back to the Half Moon. There the Hash would enjoy several nice Pints which was accompanied by a large platter of chips that No Eye Deer had brought to celebrate her Birthday!
There Hyena made sure that he would have nightmares that day as he hovered up some of the cheese on the Bar snack’s! Lots of nonsense was discussed before the Down-Downs, including Jack the Ripper & Kate Winslett’s ‘bits’ being on display in various films & how Porky Pie was transfixed at that scene in Titanic where she gets her baps out!
Also mentioned was a prominent surgeon, who could remove a limb in seconds, Flip Top dismissed this, so like the F.U.K Full Moon H3’s PANDA FACTS: below is some info on Robert Liston (Not to be confused with Robert Lister
The Pack briefly stepped out side for the Circle, Flip Top was a bit surprised when the RA gave him full control of the Hits. The Hare was awarded his Down-Down for an excellent Trail that took The FRBs 55 minutes to get complete, which as the RA said that this had now stolen Hyena’s brief mantel of setting the longest Trail of 2010! Best not to carry on with this as My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead hasn’t set a Trail yet & we don’t want him getting carried away like he normally does!
Pete was out for completing his 10 Herts Trail, while Roger the Cabin Boy was out for lost property of a Dog watering Bowl on a belt & Charlie peeing up the Hare’s Dust bag! No Eye Deer was rewarded for being 21 & a chorus of Hashy Birthday went around before the Pack quickly scurried back in to the warmth of the Pub.
Scottish Surgeon Robert Liston is said to have been able to perform the removal of a limb in an amputation & stitch the end back up in 28 seconds, the scene is described by Richard Gordon thus:
“He was six foot two, and operated in a bottle-green coat with wellington boots. He sprung across the blood-stained boards upon his swooning, sweating, strapped-down patient like a duelist, calling, 'Time me gentlemen, time me!' to students craning with pocket watches from the iron-railinged galleries. Everyone swore that the first flash of his knife was followed so swiftly by the rasp of saw on bone that sight and sound seemed simultaneous. To free both hands, he would clasp the bloody knife between his teeth!”
His technique ensured that only 1 in 10 of his patients died, where as in nearby St Barts the death rate was 1 in 4! Though he did once remove a patient’s testicle by mistake!