Run No. 1323              14th February 2010

Venue:                         The Steamer

Beer:                            McMullen AK

Location:                      Welwyn

Hares:                          Mr. X

Runners:                       29

Virgins:                         0

Visitors:                        0

Newies:                        0                                 

Hounds:                        2

Après Hashers:           0

Total:                            21

Membership:               Welcoming in the Chinese New Year, without the flied lice!


It was a good turn out, with the survivors of the previous day’s rugby outing all being present.  This week also saw Gobbler return after a long absence, he had brought along his second son as well as Thumper.  Kylie was there on time, as was Skip & Psycho.  Even Ketch Up, Princess & the kids were there in with plenty of time to spare, which is very unusual & the RA questioned whether some was wasn’t sleeping properly over the upcoming nuptials?

None of these early arrivals were anywhere near to the time that 2-1-2 Maureen pulled in to the Pub car park, she was there just after the Hare had returned from setting the Trail at 10:00hrs!  A she dusted himself down a bit, 2-1-2 Maureen said she was there so early as she didn’t want to get lost with all the roundabouts that there are around this area!  Perhaps she shouldn’t attempt to come when we next have a Hash in Hemel?

Romance wasn’t just in the air, it was also on the pavement outside the Steamer as the Hare placed a heart shaped CHK, with cupids arrow through it down outside of the Pub.  Ewok said that Mr. X was an old romantic, more like he had too much flour left after setting the Trail earlier that day!

            After the Grand Monkey had welcomed everyone to the correct Run number, the Hare was called forward, h said that he had been around to set the Trail earlier that morning, eh told of a Held CHK, a Ladies CHK & an evil HARE & Hounds type of shabby trick of a CHK with a number inside, this would mean the first of that number to reach this would have to run to the back of the Pack!  The groans were pretty audible!

The Pack were soon let loose, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was soon across London road to search on Ottaway Walk where he found trail, & a little further along he found a T!  Meanwhile the GM had began to look down the alleyway beside Halls Close but had come back, on his second attempt he was among those who mistakenly thought an arrow was a T & he began to turn again!  The Hare put them right & ushered them down the hillside.

The Trail descended down the long steps to reach’ the Green’ which doesn’t really look very much like a green these days!  A CHK was found at the end of the alley, the Pack were spread out searching the various options, some where out looking up the near by High street but there were a few hanging around the CHK waiting for the Hare to mark the way!

Sludge found the correct route as he ran down School lane toward the Queen Victoria memorial hospital, a CHK half along toward the Hospital grounds only managed to lure Windmill a slight bit off course as he looked over on the small enclosed green where White Hill lane splits from School lane.  The Trail continued down by the entrance to the hospital, & then passed it by to a CHK by the side of a footpath off of School lane.

Tess was the only one to go awry as she went a roaming across the field, while the likes of T-B-T, Sludge & Windmill picked up the Dust northward along the edge of the crop field, behind the grounds the pumping station.  Hyena would have loved it if he had been there, even though it fresh water they deal with there!

A CHK was found by the elbow in the footpath, no one seemed to be fooled in to searching on the permissive path, made by dog walkers, that leads back around the field to the homes of Welwyn to the east.  Instead the FRBS began making their way westward up the sloping field, their progress would soon slow as they were hampered by the large sods of clay hanging on their Hash boots.

The first & only Held CHK of the Trail was found on the crossroads with the farm track bridle way by Sander’s Spring wood to the right & on up to Linches farm.  Once Princess & Ketch Up, with Jaron in a new papoose like backpack (he can’t have that Hash handle as it’s been taken!) were in sight, the Hare allowed the Keenies to search once again.

Little time was wasted as he likes of My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead searched straight up through the next field & found the Trail, only Flip Top & No Eye Deer were lured away on the Falsies on either way of the farm track for Linces farm.

The trail came up to follow the hedgerow separating the farm land from the grounds of Ayot Bury House, ahead of them lay miles of open countryside, a look through the bare hedgerow & the Hash could see the extensive grounds to the house, there was even a large paddock with horse jumps in there, something that Ewok probably would have like to have a go at?  When the Trail reached the end of the Ayot Bury house’s land a CHK was found.

Now a few of the Keenies were caught out, Kylie was one who found a Falsie leading straight over the roughest of ploughed paths to the West, fortunately they hadn’t been able to go very far over the rugged land before “On!” was called from a different direction, on the second time of asking the correct trail out behind the hedgerow was found, this led out by the solitary home & on to a CHK on the bend in Ayot St Peter road at the west of the hamlet. 

Paxo Shepparded the Horrors along the road as the Pack covered some territory which is very familiar for some of the Hash, the isolated graveyard was pointed out to the new Hashers, the story of how the original Church at Ayot St Peter was destroyed was told to those who listened, it was mentioned that the new Church was built further along on the oitherside of the hamlet!

Those with local knowledge were soon heading along the lane toward Ayot Place, a CHK was found by the Footpath starting from the steep verge & then running through the hedgerow & out over yet another muddy field.  Only a couple of the Keenies were almost lured away toward the ornate gates to Ayot Place, that caught No Eye Deer’s eye & she asked Mr. X what estate they were for.  He told her that it was the grounds of Ayot Mountfitchet & that there would be a falsie up there but they didn’t get that far a “On!” was called from across the muddy field.

Now, back on the course of the real Trail, & on the way out across the field of clay, 2-1-2 Maureen came up behind T-B-T & hollered out “On! On!” to make him jump, as well as the RA he was talking to at the time.  2-1-2 Maureen said that this was done as an act of revenge, as apparently he does it all the time to her!  The RA thought that doing this would only lead to trouble later on!

Having negotiated the shiggy path, the Pack left he field to follow an arrow to direct them straight across the narrow rustic lane & on down a secluded path, fenced off from the properties.  The Pack began to become a little spread out as the Trail emerged out on to the more open area as it crossed a couple of empty horse paddocks before coming out on to on to the school lane by the gates to Ayot Bury House.

Outside of the gates a Ladies CHK was found, needless to say Tess was first there, while Ewok, ARP, No Eye Deer, Bus Stop, Psycho, Pebble Dash, Puddles & Spillage made their way from the middle order of the Pack.  Tess was quick on the uptake to pick up the Trail on the path running through Rectory wood, which was a rather pleasant trot down between the coppice, Skip would soon have other ideas as he went awry at the CHK on the opposite edge of the wood, in the bottom of the valley.

Skips disappointment soon turned to relief, in more ways than one, as he made his way back from the falsie after scaring the squirrels, he soon realised that Tess, Windmill, Porky Pie & Sludge had discovered the correct route up the grazing paddock of  Whitehill farm & up  to the CHK with a 4 in it!  They made their way back to the last of the Pack within Rectory wood, they didn’t go back as far as Princess & Ketch Up.

My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was Mr. X’s intended target to fall for this trap, but he had dropped back off of the pace of the FRBs as he had his suspicions of what the Hare had planned!  The Hare just had to make do with catching Sludge out!

The Pack made their way out to the CHK with its 4 within, Mr. X explained that through the security fencing the Hash could see the former SKB site.  He told of the time many years ago that the Hash regrouped there & soon caught the attention of the security guards, since in those days they conducted vivisection experiments there.  Mr. X asked the Pack to keep an eye out to make sure our Grand Monkey wasn’t taken to be experimented on!

The Grand Monkey passed by the old SKB land of the Frythe without any trouble, he joined the rest as the Trail was pickled up once more.  The Hare arrived just in time to hear My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead shout out “On! On!” which is a rarity at the best of times & a shame that Windmill missed it as he was still making his way from the back of the main Pack!  But what the RA had noticed was that My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead had called out while on the well marked ‘Quiet lane’ to ruin this peaceful idyll, you could hardly miss the large, squat wooden posts displaying this fact.

Perhaps My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead was excited to see Welwyn lying in the valley ahead, he knew the way back from here & could have probably done it blind folded, though this was not recommended once they had passed by White hill farm, as the path from the CHK on the two footpaths at the top of white hill had a few dog’s eggs on it.

The going was made even tougher across another roughly ploughed field, as the Hash followed the permissive path down to the edge of the Sports ground.  But the tranquillity was soon disturbed as T-B-T came running up behind 2-1-2 Maureen & he loudly yelled “On! On!” behind her to make her jump!  Lord, the next thing you’ll know will be happening is they be slinging shiggy at each other, lets hope it doesn’t cause a library Hash to form & split form Herts!

Once on to the patch of fallow land in the opposite corner, the dust led down to a tarmac path at the far end, near to the large white domed sport hall, that looks a lot like an aircraft hanger!  The FRBs arrived at the last CHK of the Trail in this corner, not that the Pack knew that at the time.  Sparky almost went wrong here, as there are three options to get back in to Welwyn, but he soon rallied around as “On!” was called by My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead once more.  He had searched the most direct route back & probably wouldn’t have come back from venturing down that way a she knew he was almost back at the On Inn.  Because of this the Hare didn’t bother to try & fool those who knew the easy way home, so the Pack’s final trot was to run on down by the football pitches & out on to Ottaway walk where the On Inn was found.

The FRBs were back just on the hour, & the SCBs only ten minutes after that!  The Pack seemed very satisfied with that!

There seemed to be a Down-Down for everyone.  The Hits were awarded, starting with the Curate awarding the Hare his, after which the RA resumed his position to hand out the next few.   The there were the Decca awardees for Gobbler & 200 Runs (backdated a couple of weeks) for 2-1-2 Maureen!  2-1-2 Maureen was also awarded her hit for being at the Steamer an hour before the Trail started, she was also joined by T-B-T for their trying to scare the living daylights out of each other on the Trail!

Gobbler was out for a second time not setting the Redbourn Trail way back in November, for which he apologised profusely for!  Tess was out as her home Nation had let themselves down in the final minutes of the match against Wales in the Six Nations.

The Hashit went to the RA for missing two runs with Manflu & organising the trip to watch Saracens at Wembley, the Curate seemed to take great delight in awarding this & not finding out that the Pub only does Chinese food in the evening!  He was given a medicinal Whisky after his second Down-Down!

Afterwards Flip Top promised he would finish off the Run report on the Letchworth RUFC Trail at. This just left Kylie’s Trail from the Crown & Falcon, Puckeridge to keep the continuity going, then Sludge piped up that all the Scribe had to do was copy the report on the Trail Kylie set at Puckeridge last year! Ouch!

Is anyone able to do a report on the Crown & Falcon Trail as well as Rest & Welcome at Haultwick, to keep the continuity going?  The Scribe will also be absent from a few Monday Trails in April to May, so you may just well be volunteered if you don’t behave?