Run No. 1479               9th December 2012

Venue:                          The Orange Tree

Beer:                             Trawler Boys; GK XX Mild; Buntingford Aramis

Location:                      Baldock

Hare(s):                         Fliptop

Runners:                      22

Virgins:                         0

Visitors:                        0

Après                             3

Newies:                         0                        

Hounds:                       2

Total:                            27

Membership:              Christmas Puddings!


                Another cool, crisp morning to start with this morning, but by the time the Pack started to assemble outside of the Orange Tree things had warmed up as the sun was up in the clear sky.  The start was delayed as Sis & Tent Packer had to go to the Railway Station, where the delayed Train finally came in just after the hour to deposit My Lil’, Hyena, Mr X, Junior & TC at the platform.

Paxo waited for these late comers to arrive, before the Circle was called.  Paxo announced the correct Run number before he handed things over to the Hare.  Fliptop told the Pack that it wasn’t going to be a long Trail, there would be short cuts & that there would be a regroup where some ‘Festive Cheer’ would be dispensed.

Mr X & My Lil’ asked Ketchup how he got home from the previous nights F.U.K Full Moon Christmas Chilli Chutney & Curry Run?  Neither of the other two could recall him leaving the Pride of Spitalfields, it seems as if they had left him there were he had fallen asleep, Ketchup couldn’t believe that he had fallen asleep in the Bar until Mr X showed him the photo of Ketchup with his head down in the Pride of Spitalfields.  Ketchup’s “Nah!  How embarrassing to fall asleep in my favourite Pub in London!” said it all.

The Keenies were soon sent off down Norton road to get to a CHK by an alleyway that heads off toward the Church yard, Zebedee was quickly off down this old route to St Mary the Virgin, but he would soon be coming back as it proved to be false.  The other option of continuing straight on southward along Norton road would also be stopped by a T!

The Trail was picked up on West avenue, which obviously would lead westward, a CHK halfway along this road would not throw many off of the scent as Dust was found on the footbridge over the A1(M).  Once over the motorway another CHK was found.  The Pack must have looked a sight as most wore red Santa hats, which bobbed about on the Run.

Tent Packer & Zebedee were two who were caught out with the Falsie on the wide hard-capped path leading northward along by the A1 (M), as would be Mark E Mark & Mr X as they wandered over the green before the Jubilee Industrial Estate.  Paxo, Ewok, ARP, No Eye Deer & Pebbledash arrived as the two falsie were indicated & they took to the southern option of the Path where the proper Trail would be picked up again.

The Pack made their way along the Tree lined path & followed this route that would emerge out on to Hadrian way, by the large concrete bridge that supports the lanes of the A1(M).  Sparky pondered on the waste of space that appears to be an open empty area beneath the bridge, the RA seemed to believe that during the week that cars are parked under there.

Care had to be taken crossing the two parallel roads, the first being a the old route that is now more or less just a side street that has little traffic, while just over the concrete dived the busy road from Letchworth needed more care as the divide makes it appear to be a dual carriageway & some forget that the traffic runs in both direction.

Those with local knowledge immediately crossed over & too to the footpath that runs along between the bottom of the A1 (M) embankment & the local New Farm recreation grounds.  The leaf strewn path led out on to the old track of Back lane, here a CHK was found by the motorway bridge.

The option under the motorway & out along to the west as Back lane leads in to the edge of Letchworth, it was False that way, as was the option that Tent-Packer & Goes Quietly looked on the first one that leads in to part of the small Nature Reserve that consists of an area of wild, wispy tall grassland.

Dust was found further down the Back lane path to the east, near to the second path in to the nature reserve, the FRBs continued along where it runs down by the edge of the playing fields, soon this would run out & so it was another about turn for the RA, Mark E Mark, meanwhile No Eye Deer, Slug, 3D & ARP took advantage of the other’s mistake & as they had now got an advantage on the others.

Having made their way back up to the second path in to the Nature Reserve the middle of the Pack were soon on in to the wooded area behind the homes on Chilvers Bank & Hill top.  On the way Tent Packer spotted what was a metal grill, like an air vent, that was nailed in to the tree about 8 foot up the tree’s trunk.

The pace dropped on this enclosed path as the Pack made their way up to a CHK at the top corner, here the Trail turned left to head behind the homes on St Mary’s way.  TBT OBE was kept an eye on as the way had a few tree roots to avoid, there was also a fallen tree that the Pack had to duck beneath.

 Finally leaving the tree roots & low branches behind, the Trail emerged out on to St Mary’s way & out to Weston Way, on the way the Pack passed by a street bin full of rubbish, this had a paper plate with a few old cakes on top of it.  Like a desperate down & out Tramp, Sparky took the shortbread off of the plate & ate it!  There were plenty of groans of disgust at this, especially when Pepé Le Pew said the plate of cakes had been on the floor by the bin!

At the edge of Weston Way, opposite the small Post Office & Shop, an arrow to direct the Hash over to the Held CHK on a small green space on the corner of Willian way, the Pack gathered & soon Fliptop was on the scene & dishing out plastic cups & then a flask for some rather nice Mulled Wine, this accompany the mince pies & cheesy cakes that Sis had baked.  Even the thought of Sparky eating old discarded food, or the sight of a dead bird on the green area didn’t put the Hash off consuming the delicious snacks.

The mulled wine was ‘hair of the dog’ for the three survivors of the F.U.K Full Moon Christmas Chilli Chutney & Curry Run, these three had looked a little jaded & weren’t at the best when it came to running.  The Pack spent some time at the Held CHK, they were waiting for Sis & Hyena to catch up, but in the end the Hare allowed the FRBS to get on with searching once again. 

Now brought around by the Mulled Wine & with a spring in his step, the RA headed off down the nearby Footpath of Crabtree lane that runs behind Nightingale Avenue, he soon picked up the Trail & nearly a few dogs’ eggs on his shoes.  Even without his pooper-scooper sandals on, Ketchup was warned about the dog turds that seem to litter this route, even though there a warning signs about £1000 fine for allowing fouling of the path!

Mr X found the Trail & called out “On!” as he followed the path down to a CHK by the local garages on Nightingale road, the RA ignored going off in to the housing estate & continued down along beside the Baldock Industrial Estate, again he found the Trail & followed the path to its conclusion where it emerges out near the end of London road.  From here the RA missed the Trail going over the nearby crossing, instead he continued around to Tesco’s on the High Street.

With the Trail seemingly having petered out for the RA, he looked back to see Zebedee following on behind Pepé le Pew, Mark E Mark, My Lil’, Ketchup, Junior & TC on the opposite side of the roundabout, to run northward up South Road.  It took a while for a gap in the Traffic to appear for the RA to get back on track as he picked up the Dust once more.

The Trail would make its way over South Street & then off down a side street to the west, now it made its way out on to the edge of the local football ground off of the Clothall road.  With Two teams were playing a football match any calls of “On!” were drowned out by the players.  It was noticed that one side had some a very pink kit which really stood out, Pepé le Pew later would say that the winning team of the Football Premiership should have to wear that colour for the next season.

Anyhow, the Trail made its way out on to a footpath running along the other side of the pitch, this headed away from the Clothall road, the Trail made its way out to the High Street via Simpsons drive, which is named after the former Brewery in Baldock. 

A CHK was found on the High Street, but those with good eyesight could see an arrow directly across the wide market area, indeed the Trail would cross straight over the road to & take to the alleyway that leads from the shops & out on to the old lane of Park street, this runs around behind the Knight’s Templar school, the 90° turn to the southwest would lead out to a CHK on to the top end of Weston Way.

The finally stretch off the Trail was to go around the walled corner & on to the Hitchin road to a crossing, over this the Trail took to Norton road by the local Park, the On Inn was found as the Trail came back on to the Out Trail.

The Pack settled in to the Pub, with Pepé le Pew, My Lil’, Pebbledash, TC & Junior not being able to get changed due to their gear being lock in two cars, one was Sis’s but the other was Pepé le Pew & Pebbledash’s own car, as they had given the car keys to 2-1-2 Maureen since she wasn’t going to go far around the Trail with her broken wrist!  Almost a pint later 2-1-2 Maureen arrived back from her wanderings.

Fartin Martin & Dragon’s Den arrived, Fliptop warned those in the Pub not to get too lose to him as he had been ill with winter-vomiting!  He must have been on Junior’s Skippy-Piss drinks??  Fosters always makes Junior honky!

Tent Packer was first to get changed, mind you he could get in to his own car!  When he returned Pepé le Pew piped up with a “There always one who falls for it every year about the Dinner Jackets!” for a moment Tent Packer didn’t know if he was kidding or not!  Others were more interested in the cord from the old fashioned toilet chain pull that ran along the Bar to the door to open it.

The rest of the Pack changed in to their glad rags with two exceptions, one being Sparky who was sporting a blazer with our Herts Logo on the breast pocket, the other was Goes Quietly who had gone home to shower!  Ironically Sparky had asked Fliptop earlier if there were showers at the Pub?  It wasn’t going to be that strenuous or dirty a Trail!

The RA handed out a bumper edition of the Trash, which included reports on the previous year, My Lil’s 1,000th Weekend & Junior’s 50th from a couple of years ago, seems someone has been filling in a few gaps in the achieves!

Pepé le Pew showed off his new present, which is fibre optic looking Mohican that lights up with a multitude of colour, it was only eclipsed by the RA’s Shiteshirt, a dazzling mish-mash of different brightly coloured panels of various printed cloth.

Junior was happy as he was given one special present to unwrap, the look on his face was like a four year old grinning ear to ear as he revealed Pete the Penguin!  Yes, after a year since the last time he was handed Pete the Penguin back, the toy bird has been absent from Junior’s company al that time & was looked after by Sis!  The big question would be whether Junior would be able to keep hold of the toy penguin for a year??

After a couple of pints Fliptop ushered the Pack around to the conservatory, this triple-glazed backroom was ideal as it is sound proofed to prevent the rest of the Pub, or the neighbours from hearing the Hash’s raucous din! The Down-Downs took place in there before the food was served, so among the Hits awarded & in no particular order were:

Fliptop for setting this week’s Trail; Sparky & TBT OBE for being the Hares the Previous Week; Ketchup for falling asleep on the F.U.K Full Moon in the Pride of Spitalfields, his favourite Pub in London!  Paxo was out for his half a yard of Ale for completing his 600 Herts Runs, unlike previous awardees of this item Paxo failed to twist the glass vessel & of course this meant that there would be a bubble of Ale erupting from the bulb at the bottom & part of this went down his shirt.

Calls for ‘The Book!’ echoed around the room & eventually My Lil’ went out to get the sacred Book out of his bag, when he came back he was awarded a Down-Down.  Pepé le Pew was out for having no one Ginger to pick on.  2-1-2 Maureen was out for falling over & breaking her wrist!  Fliptop took over from the RA to hand out a couple of hits, one went to Sparky for asking whether the Pub having Showers!!

The first course was about to come out as the RA went through the list of events & other Hashes Herts have attended since the last Christmas do.  TC went out for a fag at this point, which kept the heckling down a bit, this just left a few of the Harriettes to carry on nattering while the RA made his annual speech! 

This also allowed the RA to tell the anecdote of when TC & Hyena arrived in Nairobi, there they met Sofa & Tone Deaf who asked how they were getting to the Great Migration venue in Mombasa?  To which TC replied Taxi!  They were then informed that Mombasa is 320 miles away as the crow flies from Nairobi!!!

Back to where Herts have been……………


Yorkshire AGPU

Friday 13th Quiz, first of three this Friday 13th’s this year, the other two were in April with a joint CRAFT in Horsham & July in Stratford for the Olympics.


My Lil’ 1,000th weekend in Suffolk


Full Moon Easter in München Germany


Kampala Uganda pre-lube, including Kampala City & Jinja (source of the Nile)

Kissamu in Kenya to start the Luntatic Express pre-lube to Mombassa,

Nairobi Hash to Mombasa for the Great Hash Migration weekend

InterHash in Borobudur in Indonesia


The Stoggy Hag (Hoggy’s Stag) weekend on the Isle of Man (Shite shirts & Kilts were order of the day!)

Essex H3 Aleympics, no one would forget Windsock’s ring of fire opening ceremony!

Isca 14th Roman Away Day Weekend


JFK & Hoggy’s Wedding in Skipton

Norfolk’s Paryletympics

Elgin’s 1500th

ARP & Porky Pie’s Wedding. Ale Trail with Donnington


Amsterdam’s 1,000th & Bok Bierfest

Currently Un-Named North Thames

Joint Runs with Essex, H5, Full Moon, Saracens at Wembley


Even as the RA spoke Skip & Psycho are out in the former colonies of the US of A  [No, not Saaaaaanddddeeeeeaaaaiggoooooooo! – Ed] (Lucky Skip is missing Arsenal drop out of another Cup Competition!)


                The RA returned to his seat & found that all of the Red wine had gone, Hyena shared some of his form his almost overflowing glass, he also noticed the other red drinkers had rather large measures as well!  Thankfully Fliptop went & got another bottle!  The crackers contained silver hats, the mandatory bad joke & some pretty good gifts.  One gift was a wine bottle stopper, which wasn’t much use on the RA’s table.  There was no chance of the wine remaining in the bottle long enough to go stale!             

Lobby Lobster told the RA that Mark E Mark went to Hoggy’s Stag & he didn’t have a Shiteshirt, it didn’t matter if he had one or not as he spent most of the weekend on a different time-zone, just as Ketchup did & they weren’t seen for most of the time on the Isle of Man.  Only wearing their kilts when everyone else was coming back to retire of the night!!

Dinner was served & those on the same table as the RA turned down Junior’s offer of taking his sprouts off of him, the RA then made Junior feel queasy by saying that they ought to be saved & then turned in to one of the (in)famous Norfolk Sprout Pie from the Isle of W            ight!!!  Meanwhile TBT OBE battled to eat the cauliflower, something he has grown to love after last year’s secret Satan Santa

After the Christmas dinner, there was the Secret Santa but before this took place Mark E Mark & Junior had a bit of a contest going at the Bar.  The RA was going to decide out of the two presents which of these two had bought the best less than a fiver present for the Secret Santa. 

So, once their presents had been chosen, the RA had a look & between the Arsenal Wrapping Paper (with a £5 price label still on it) & the four miniatures of Port, only the Port could win.  But then Junior let slip that he got his from Work at a price of more than £5, a roar went up from Lobby, My Lil’ & Mr X as Junior then quickly added that he got a staff discount to bring it in under the £5!  So, the Port remained the winner.

 Satan Appeared outside of the conservatory & he looked remarkably like Fartin Martin without a beard or Blonde hair [Silver blonde hair’s gone out of fashion since the truth has come out about Jimmy Savile! -Ed) but he was dressed in a traditional red Santa suit [or was it his pyjamas? – Ed] he started handing out the presents from Sparky’s sack.  Unfortunately Sparky’s sack soon started to fall apart as it developed a few holes.  [Poor George! – Ed]

The Harriettes were up first, some of the Pack thought that Santa enjoyed this more than the girls, judging by the look on their faces!  Then Santa’s knees took the strain as the Hashers had their go, starting with Hyena!  Among the prizes were a set of Karma Sutra Shot glasses the RA was handed, TBT OBE had the Yard of Jaffa cakes & kindly offered some to the Pack as he went around chatting to as many as possible.  2-1-2 Maureen was awarded several Bars of chocolate.  TC had four carved wooden tea-light holders that could fit together in a pattern, though they would make good kindling!

                It was a good Trail followed by a great afternoon for all.