Run No. 1490               23rd Feb 2013

Venues:                        The Crown & Falcon

Beer:                              Adnams Tally Ho!  Old Ale & Blonde

Location:                      Puckeridge

Hare(s):                         Kylie & Howard, with Phillipa & Ben!

Runners:                      17

Virgins:                          0

Visitors:                         0

Après                              4

Newies:                         0                        

Hounds:                        3

Total:                            24

Membership:              NOT THE HARE & HOUNDS!


                It was thermals weather this morning as the cold air was coming in from the east, most kept warm inside their cars until at least 5 minutes before the GM got out of his motor to call the Circle together.  The JM said that all of his neighbours would be absent as they were all suffering from the lurgy!

There was a slight delay in proceedings as there was the pouring of shots of Greygoose Vodka, sadly all in order for the Pack to honour the third year of the passing of Goose.

Having successfully got the toast out of the way, the GM went onto introduce the Pack to the correct Run number but then there was a stunned silence from the Pack as he followed the Run number with the words “ of the Hare & Hounds Hash House Harriers!”  Sludge rapidly tried to correct things, but by then the damage had been done!  After the baying of the Pack had died down, the Hares were called forward!  Being the senior of the two, Kylie would go through what the Pack could expect to encounter out on the Trail.

Once “Potential Road crossings!” & something about “A dead end that wasn’t marked but you’d know that you couldn’t go any further!” was mentioned by the Hare, the Pack were shown out over to Station road to head off toward the south, meanwhile Sparky decided to disappear off in a totally different direction by taking to the High Street off toward the southwest, as it turns away on a part of its slightly dog-leg route.

My Lil’, Paxo, Mr X, Fliptop & Tent Packer all followed the Dust on the proper start to the Trail by going through the dead end of Round Haye, at one corner of the end of this road was an alleyway that cut through to where Sparky had run off on to the High Street.  

A CHK was found out on the narrow olde worlde High street, from here Mr X headed up toward the St Thomas of Canterbury Catholic Church but this Trail would terminate with a T just near to the end of the High Street.  On the way back the RA said the statue of the Virgin Mary outside of the Church that he would make sure that the Hares would be repentant by the end of the Trail!

The Trail now took to Tollsworth way, here the Dust led up the back street to a CHK on the corner where the road becomes Hunstman Close.  Sludge, Paxo, My Lil’ & Tent Packer checked out the option of going up to the A10 by-pass but didn’t find any Dust.  So, they turned back to head out down Huntsman Close & on to the High Street, there arrows directed them off down toward the White Hart at the north end of the Village.

Sparky rejoined the FRBs, after he had gone back to get his flask of Hot Beetroot Juice which he had left in his car [As if anyone is going to nick a flask of Hot Beetroot juice! – Ed] Anyhow, the Trail would lead on to the remains of the old road out to Braughing but at the end of the tree lined lane a T was found. 

On the way back to the High Street, Mr X chanced to look out in the adjacent field as a blob of flour could have meant that the Trail ran along the other side of the tree line.  Trail was indeed found on the bank but it was not the out Trail but the On Inn!  Some remarked that they could go back to the Crown & Falcon if the On Inn had been found!

Fortunately for the Hares the FRBs all retraced their footsteps to Huntsman close while going back to the CHK, Sparky called “On!” after he saw the flour that marked the way out from the CHK.  The RA said that if Sparky had followed the Trail correctly then he would have known this! 

The CHK was now marked up the embankment to the A10 & if any of the residents were appreciating a lie-in this chilly Sunday morning then this would be rudely disturbed by Sparky blowing his horn, but not before picking up a small rubber ring on the driveway by the footpath!

On the second time of asking the FRBs now found Dust as they clambered up to the edge of the Dual Carriage way, there was a break in the traffic long enough for them to cross before coming down to the open farm land to the west of Puckeridge.  The footpath ran over the first enclosed & there was an obvious line of ice that was still lying in the shallow dip in the ground that is one of the Puckeridge tributaries.

Sis, What Mother Says, Two Timer, 2-1-2 Maureen & TBT OBE were all up ahead of the FRBs, it wasn’t until reaching the kissing gate over the wooden bridge in the end of the field, that the FRBs caught up with them.  Sis had to stop & sort out Lucy, who was managing to get herself & her lead tangled up in the barbed-wire fence separating the fields near to Tillcroft Spring.

What Mother Says was a bit concerned about the sign on the gate by the bridge, this warned of a Bull in the Field, the RA said that probably only applies to a couple of times a year.  A time when you certainly wouldn’t want to stop to bend over & tie up your shoe laces! [Pebbledash may disagree? – Ed]

The going was pretty hard over the empty cattle field, as there may have not been any bovines within the field but there were plenty of hoof prints rutted in to the route up toward Kings wood.

Sparky & Tent Packer closed in on TBT OBE as the Trail led on the smother path beside Kings wood that was free of cattle marks, this woodland had plenty of ‘Keep out & Private Wood signs’ to warn passers not to trespass where the pheasant feeders were.  At the north-west corner of this woodland a CHK was found.

Sparky & Tent Packer continued further westward as the Footpath makes its way through the valley toward Stockalls, they had called “On!” so My Lil’ & TBT OBE looked toward following on behind these two, the RA had other ideas & he took the alternative footpath of going through another enclosed field to the south.  Mr X picked up the Dust along by the hedgerow to lead the way down a slight decline & on to Hole Farm.

My Lil’ caught up with the RA at the point & they started looking from the CHK in the Farmyard.  Mr X took to the lower of two paths out to the east, but it was My Lil’ who picked the correct option on the higher one.  The RA realised his mistake as he looked up to the other path & saw the dust on the gate in to the fields upon the ridge, so it was back to the yard & up on to the Ridge for the RA.

Mr X caught up with My Lil’ as they followed the Dust along the ridge over a seeded field, up on this exposed ridge they would feel the cold air on the slight breeze.  As they run on toward what they thought was the route back in to Puckeridge, they were suddenly stopped in their tracks by a Bar CHK by the northwest corner of Broadfield Spring wood!

It took a while to realise where the Trail would go from here, but this gave Sludge, Tent Packer & TBT OBE time to catch up with the other two.  Sparky was no where to be seen!  Sludge eventually found the route heading down by the edge of a scrubby hedge that shelters a small enclosed pony field on the slope down to bottom of the small shallow valley.

While Sludge led the others down to the lower of the two paths that Mr X was heading out on earlier from the Farm, TBT OBE had disappeared in to the scrubby bush to scare any squirrels that may have been in there.   Hopefully he wasn’t spotted by the couple of blokes up on the other ridge who were doing a bit of rabbiting.

Kylie & Howard had rounded the strays like Sparky, as well as having shepparded the backmarkers around through the Farm & short cutted them along the lower footpath in the bottom of the valley, this path runs along by another of the Puckeridge tributaries, this one being deeper & wider than the last, but had little water in it.

Tent Packer & My Lil’ were first out through the last crop field before the A10 by-pass, they climbed the steps to the edge of the road but were soon seen scuttling back down the stairs as a Bar CHK stopped them up there.  My Lil’ was then seen going through the brambles & saplings by the edge of the Puckeridge tributary.

It was a slippery descent down the step in the earthen bank to get on to the dry bed of the tributary, a curved arrow was spotted drawn on the concrete stanchion for the concrete tube that carries the course of the tributary under the A10.  The arrow directed the Hash through the tunnel, My Lil was first to crouch down & shuffle through the concrete tube, he was followed by Tent Packer & then the RA.

Sludge was the fourth one in to the low tunnel, he moaned that he would now loose his GPS signal to see how far be had run!  The RA was more concerned by the fact that Tent Packer, even though he isn’t that large, managed to block out any light that remained after My Lil’ had stopped most of it from coming through the end of the tunnel.  As they shuffled through in the dark there were lots of comments about coming up behind each other while bent forward! [Whoa there Pebbledash! – Ed].

At the end of the tunnel the Trail made its way up the bank, fortunately there was a wooden fence to hang on to & assist the climb up on to the corner of the feral land of a field of wild grasses, located at the south west end of Puckeridge.  Having run through the field the Trail led out on to the Cambridge road, there a Held CHK was found with Phillipa & Ben already there as they were manning a Vodka Stop!

While sipping the Hereford made Vodka, yes it was an English Vodka, the RA noticed that they were near to a sign that said ‘Shenley’ so he added that he knows that Kylie has a reputation of setting long Trails but that was ridiculous!

Having had a second shot of the day was going to be enough for most & as the time was now gone Noon the RA & GM decided that they would check it out down the Cambridge road to where it becomes the High Street, the RA wondered if the Trail would cross the ‘Poors’ Land’ (of Standon Charity) but no Dust was found at the hole in the corner of the hedgerow of this enclosed wild field.

Dust wasn’t found until they had passed by what was the Buffalo’s Head, just beyond the former Pub was the T the RA had spotted earlier & even though they realised that the Trail would not go this way, it was deemed too far & too late in the day to go back up to the Standon road & down the Hill.

Meanwhile, as the FRBs were passing St Thomas Becket of Canterbury to ask for more repentance for the Hares, there was about to be a problem back at the tunnel under the A10.  Sis, What Mother Says & Two Timer had all started off into the darkness of the concrete tube, Two Timer was the only one to have a torch on the Trail but this wasn’t enough to stop Sis from becoming scared of the monsters that lurk beneath the dual carriage way!

There was a sudden change of plan as Sis decided that they should go back & take their chances in crossing road above ground!  Later on the RA wondered how they could turn around in such a tight, enclosed space?  Sis would give him a Medusa like stare!  There was no need for the Harriettes to panic as the monsters that were under the A10 had all made it down to the Crown & Falcon!

Sis probably needed the second shot of vodka by the time she had reached the Held CHK, at least there was a short cut now in place to lead straight down to the High street.  The Hares has need not have worried that the whole Trail was now not going to Run.  Sparky, who was reinvigorated by his hot beetroot juice, would go around the whole Trail & it wouldn’t be until the others had gone outside the Pub for the Circle that he would return.

Mr X was first in to the Crown & Falcon, where he found Ewok, Backpack & his Grandfather in the Bar.  Once he had got his gear form Sludge’s car, Mr X handed out the trashes.  Ewok was soon in stitches about one of the Arsenal jokes in the Trash, but she couldn’t get herself to read it out aloud so the RA did the honours for her.

Sparky would follow the Trail down Standon hill, through Standon to come back around the east side of Puckeridge, by way of the old Railway line to come in via the On Inn at the North of the Village.  At least he wasn’t alone as he still had his hot beetroot juice to keep him company.   The Pack hadn’t forgotten him as he found that a plate of sarnies & salad had been kept for him on his return to the fold.

The GM had to go & get out the new Hashit out from his car.  He returned to start a spontaneous & rare bit of democracy which happened when the Pack chose the Hammersley shirt with the arse hanging out to replace the old one! 2-1-2 Maureen didn’t look too pleased at the prospect of a shirt with an arse printed on the back of it being the new Hashit!  (Traditionally it has become that a Hamersley hash Shirt has to be the Herts Hashit, as a mark of respect to Roo-Ted)

The Pack Circled up outside for the Down-Downs: The Hares were rewarded for a good Trail.  Kylie & Howard received their Down-Downs for the Trail.  Tent Packer was awarded his bum-bag for completing his deca-run.  Sis & What Mother Says were out for being scared of the trolls under the A10, while Two Timer received her hit for being the bravest & wanting to carry on through the tunnel!

Fliptop presented the RA with Down-Down for his brief appearance on ITV 4’s Premiership Rugby Highlights, where Mr X explained that the ITV had edited out his comments to Martin Bayfield about not wanting to appear on Crimewatch!

Finally the Hashit was presented to the GM for his slip up about the welcome to the Hare & Hounds Hash [You are welcome to them! – Ed]