Run no. 1497  – 15.05.2013    GIVEN THE BOOT [Spot the mistake? - Ed]

Venue: The Boot                                             

Location: Dane End

Beer: London Pride, IPA

Hares: Sludge & TBT

Runners: 17 + 1 late, late one!                  

Newies: 1

Virgins: 0                            

Hounds: 0                                           

Visitors: 0                           

Total: 19

Après:   0                             

Membership: Enjoying the summer                       


This weeks Trash is an amalgamation of reports by Fliptop & Sloppy Seconds, with added input from Mr X, thanks for putting this together guys!


The Event


First Monday night run of the year so not sure who would turn up. Notable hounds we have not been for a while included Ketchup and Daddies Sauce who have come out of their winter hibernation and Sing-a-long-a- Max who reappeared from who knows where.

The Curate arrived to find Mr X unable to make it.  Another chance to find out how the Circle should work.  Oh for the boot !!!!!!!! [There’s a distinct wiff of Bullshit about part of this report!- Ed]

The pack gathered in the car park.  Mr X had warned that there would be a three Newies turning out today but unfortunately only Jane turned up.  Jane knows the Hash but this was the first time she has run. Here’s hoping she enjoyed the experience and we see her again.

The Boot has a small well hidden car park so many parked in the side streets but most were on time (even Ketchup and the Skips!). The GM called the starting circle and a joint effort by three or more people endeavoured to explain the trail markings to Jane.  She looked a bit confused!!  The GM again got the correct run number using his arithmetic method of deducting from the Run number called i.e.1500 – 3= 1497 he then announced that he and TBT were the Hares, but this was met with boos when he said there were no short cuts.  He warned of cattle horses on the Trail.

That completed, the pack left the car park and turned right to head southward, passing by the old Red Telephone box & the Garage with two old fashion petrol-pumps on the narrow forecourt, to run along the road toward Sacombe & this ably led by My Lil’ Spermhead and Sloppy Seconds.  The first Check was a turn back that Fliptop fell for, unlike Sperm ‘Ed and Sloppy who turned left up the footpath by Balfour cottage & up across Cottonborough Common.

The footpath to the east headed up, up, up hill beside a field. Though the hill was gradual, it was still very tiring on a long uphill run (walk) to the east to pass the southern edge of Tusely Wood, by the corner of the wood was gate that had a couple of yards of shiggy around it to be avoided, those like the RA may have noticed the Black outline of Raven like kite blowing in the wind to scare any birds from the going in to the seeded field.

Here the trail passed through a gate, that had a large puddle of shiggy around it and then led to Lodge Farm and after some false trails we came across heaven – otherwise known as Dane End Golf Club where our golfing Hashers, the Hash Hackers meet to lose their balls.

The Trail took us first alongside the course and then across holes 3 & 4, or was it 6 & 8, who knows (not even the Hash golfers I suspect) but whatever it was, it wasn’t Augusta, not a Rhododendron in sight.  Fortunately play had ended for the evening so no danger of being struck by a golf ball!

This also explains what the white dust was by the first tee and along the 10th fairway Fliptop had seen earlier in the day whilst playing golf with Herts Hash House Hackers including the Hares Sludge and TBT. (Fliptop won this month’s competition by the way!) [That’ll do! – Ed]

The Dust would lead further eastward along the southern edge of Cock’s Wood [Whoa there Pebbledash! – Ed] before crossing a over two fairways to reach the lane to Standon.

At the next check there were three choices and all directions were checked out with the trail eventually found across the road into the Hasley Grove woods, Sloppy came back shortly after....... so did the others – Oops.  Who’d missed the trail? – Sloppy Seconds hadn’t noticed the stile on his right, gone past it and stopped at the barbwire even though two metres away was a wooden bridge crossing the small but extremely smelly stream.  Perhaps it’s good being Curate after all, as it would certainly have cost a Down-Down.

It was about now that TBT realised that he had not included a Held Check, so he could dish out the sweeties he had purchased for the pack.  It was a smelly run to the next Check probably due to the farm discharging their septic tank into the local ditches.

The Dust left the little copse & made its way through a paddock to a point where it met a path that runs from north to south, leading away from Potters Green & Potters Hall Farm.  A Check by the farm drive, some went left – others right and Sloppy Seconds across to the footpath through the woods.  The correct route was soon found turning left on to the footpath just slightly easterly off of north, as it led away through the wooden fenced off paddocks.  From the Check the trail had a long stretch across the brown harrowed field between Roughground and Shelly’s Woods.  

The Trail had more up the hill as it led through several gates in a fenced off new wood that had permissive paths in & around the area of what looked like a recently planted out orchard, marked intermittently by white metal poles that just seemed to have bamboo sticks in, some farmers (aided by MAFF) help us and therefore themselves by marking clear trails.  My Lil’ led as was the case for most of the time, ably assisted by Sloppy, with Debs dipping in and out of both from time to time and this was how it remained.

We were now on the Trenchern Hills and looking forward to a nice downhill stretch.  At the next Check on the bend in the Langton’s lane track by-way, it was pleasing to see My Little caught out on a false trail, (he got a few checks wrong on this trail).  The right way was to the right towards Hatchett Poultry Farm.  

Going through toward the large farm sheds some, may have noticed the sculpture of a chicken made of wire that was sat up on the post for a gate to one of the adjacent fields.  Another point of interest was in the farm yard, there the was a sign on a white level crossing railway gate, it stated that “Anyone found leaving this gate open would be fined 40 Shillings!”

Out of the farmyard & beyond the geese & ducks at the duck pond, from here the trail went on a nice long  flat Run(~1km) downhill track from High Trees Farm to the road.  Near the start there was a track off to the north lead around by what appeared to be an old disused small quarry works?  The Trail stuck with the westerly by-way lined intermittently with chunky square cut pairs of wooden posts as it left the level & dropped down to the lower level & on over a large area of burnt ashes that could have been one of Sloppy Seconds old Bangers that had been torched?

The Pack then hit tarmac and a Check. My Lil’ slowly sortied a footpath slightly up the road to the left, but didn’t fall for it and quickly returned to the check turning left on the road to Dane End.  Meanwhile a few hashers heading up a footpath towards Fellowfield Common but the right way was down the road towards Dane End.

However the Hares had a nasty trick up their sleeves for the Keenies and the trail turned westward once again a sit headed uphill on the Haultwick road, before branching off towards the Church and Little Munden C of E primary school.  On the way around the perimeter of Short Whitely Common to the Church, the Pack had to pass by a sign for a home that was called Cock & Hoop [Whoa there Pebbledash ! – Ed]

For the SCBS, with the village in sight from the lane  to the south (this junction was an ON INN for the short cutters) as it was then a short trot down the lane past the On Inn back to the pub. 

Whilst the full trail took a loop up the hill, passing the church and eventually crossing  diagonally over the common to the southwest & into the end of Dane End.  There an On Inn was found on footpath that led between the gardens of the houses, the Trail crossed a side road & then another On Inn was found as it ran down an alleyway & straight into the pub car park.  The final run in was across the field part of Easington Common to the north of Dane End.

We had got back in about a hour and a quarter without the need to get our torches out!

We were pretty much the only people in the pub except for Fartin’ Martin and Dragons Den sipping their drinks waiting for the pack to arrive back, no doubt admiring the décor?  The pub itself was rather strange, a kind of club come wine bar in an ancient building, with Union Flag & Stars and Stripes guitar shaped mirrors above the bar!  Food and drink and general merriment followed.    It was also noticed that there was a “Boot + Bus” sign chalked above the Bar, & for £10 the drinkers could have been picked up & dropped off from somewhere a reasonable distance away that has public transport links!

 Fartin’ Martin and Dragons Den had some lame excuse as to why they didn’t do the trail. After we had had time for a drink and natter with all the GM called the circle and we trouped outside the pack huddled together and took advantage of the heater in the smoking shelter whilst they waited for the Curate to dispense his judgement.

Farts and George were at the pub when we got back. Did anybody see them do the first check as they signed the book? 


NOTE: Sloppy Seconds overwrite old hash trashes and this one was from 21st May 2012 - Barkway. I didn’t have to write anything about Farts and George (Dragons Den) being at the pub when we got back – I just didn’t delete it from last time.  Is there a recurring theme here?


Down downs 


The hares were called into the circle and the pack expressed their thoughts on the trail – a good one it was agreed although some of the knitting circle complained about the lack of dust in places. [There was still enough left several days later for the RA to follow the Trail around! – Ed] Sludge and TBT – for a fine trail (and goodies – see later) 

The Curate in his own inimitable way proceeded to spin a yarn that lead up to TBT (OBE) being invited into the circle for not only forgetting to include a held check for a sweetie stop but actually forgetting to take the said sweeties out on the trail with him anyway. So on with the Hashit shirt for TBT and a Down-Down of a sweet fruit juice drink.                      

Debs – for managing to equate a crop field to a Brazilian, only she could. (If you weren’t there, the farmer had left an uncut swathe presumably for butterflies etc down the middle of his field not around the edges).  [Pebbledash could probably give Ewok a Run for her money on Innuendo! – Ed]                   

The Newie Jane was invite into the circle for her welcome Down-Down and impressed all by necking back a pint in short time!! Skip had confidently put the Hashit shirt down for sinners to spill their beer on. Ewok was punished, (if downing a nice glass of good cider is a punishment), for not dobbing the Curate in for a misdemeanour he had committed.       

There being no parish announcements the pack adjourned back into the pub for more drinks and some sandwiches thoughtfully arranged by the hares.


Don’t forget to let Mr X have your baby pics for a “guess the hasher competition” at the 1500th and old Herts Hash pics to TBT who is a fixing to display them using a projector at the 1500th.


And finally a message to all who noticed in the Mercury that the Roebuck Hotel being closed and demolished – this is not happening till July – long after our 1500th – perhaps they think we’ll finish the old place off