Run No. 1519              2nd September 2013

Venues:                       The Woodman

Beer:                            GK IPA, Red Squirrel Erasamus & Jack Black, Blonde

Location:                     Wild Hill

Hare(s):                         My Lil’

Runners:                       18

Virgins:                            2

Visitors:                           0

Après                               0

Newies:                           0                       

Hounds:                         4

Total:                             24

Membership:               Smelly Dog!


With EuroHash & UK Nash Hash now out of the way, the compliment of the Hash was soon returned to something like normal numbers.  The nice weather had also brought out a lot more of the regulars, or was it the après Hash activities that would see the St Alban’s Morris Men were out doing their bit.

Also back was the Hare Raiser, who had lost his top spot last week to Fliptop – who departed UK Nash Hash early to gain his top ranking back this week! [That’s enough sad bits about being competitive! It goes against the Hash Traditions! – Ed]  He & Sis seemed to have gained an extra pooch this week, would these pooches get themn in to any trouble by the end of the Trail?

It didn’t take Mark E Mark, who has experience in a Morris Dancing Side, very long to spot that Hyena was wearing new shoes, even if they were a black pair it didn’t mean that these were not going to be spotted by someone in the Pack

The Hash were introduced to this week’s Trail by the JM, since the GM was still not back from frolicking in Iceland [No not the freezer store! – Ed] [If you want to know what Iceland was like 150 Years ago?  Go there now! –Ed].  Over the noise of the barking pooches, a doubting Fliptop could be heard stressing his point that the JM had got the Run number correct, but with a bit of work the Paxo was proved right.

            The Booing subsided as the Hare after the introduction, especially after the Hare told the Pack that there would be short cuts, including one large one around the three-quarter mark around the Trail!  Then without further ado the Pack were ushered up out of the car park & in to the Horse field to the east if the Pub grounds.

            Out through the kissing gate & the Trail cut diagonally over the paddock to another kissing gate halfway along the southern hedgerow, the going underfoot was on the hard side & the pace was pretty slow, with the exception of Mark E Mark who was the leading FRB from the Off.  Tyler decided that he would stop at the second kissing gate & cock his leg to mark it!

In to the next field & the first CHK was found, where the only remaining crop in this field was a square of corn stalks that had been left for the local wildlife, the pheasant feeders gave away what this little corner was providing shelter for. 

Mark E Mark took to the obvious direction up to southeast on a path over to the tree-line behind which was Kentish lane, meanwhile Mr X & Spotted Dick had ventured down the hillside toward the west, all to no avail as Mark E Mark called “On!” up toward the road.

Once through the hedgerow the Pack were directed over to the footpath on the opposite side, here the Trail headed northward toward Essendon, after a trot along the dirty old path a CHK was found on the bend in the road at the Junction with the road back down to Wildhill. 

Mark E Mark, Spotted Dick & Tyler, then Mr X, Hyena, Paxo, Ewok all headed off down the track in to Warrenwood Park, halfway along this driveway was a Footpath sign but the direction it should be pointing in wasn’t true, this would cause some confusion.

Having squeezed through the narrow gap of a ‘Hyena Trap’ of a gateway, the FRBs found themselves in the fallow field.  Now they made their way northward toward the opposite side, but since the Footpath’s route was not marked the Keenies went a bit astray until Dust could be plainly seen on a large oak tree on Hornbeam lane. 

Unfortunately for Spotted Dick, Tyler had disappeared off in amongst the clump of trees toward the northeast corner of the field, the sound of splashing soon alerted his owner to the fact Tyler had found the pond hidden inside the ring of trees.  As the Pooch emerged it soon became evident that the water was a wee bit stagnant & the air was filled with the whiff of wet-stinky-dog!  The Keenies tried to avoid Tyler before he shook himself down.

The Keenies now had to negotiate the tree-lined ditch at the far end of the field that was filled with nettles & brambles, here Ewok offered the RA a fornicating suggestion that she rapidly changed when he said “Ok then, but Paxo’s right next to us!”.  It was a bit of a struggle to get over the ditch, on his way the RA just caught his head on the underside of a branch & he had the courtesy to warn Ewok behind him, before adding that it wouldn’t really apply to her!

The Trail now headed up the drive of Hornbeam lane to come out on to Cum Cum lane [Yes Pebbledash, it really is called that! – Ed] that leads in to Essendon on Cum Cum hill.  Out of the drive & the Trail was already marked by the Hare to take the SCBs through from the earlier CHK, now the Trail headed north-westward down the driveway to Camfield Farm. 

At least Custard & her daughter had the sense to take the Short Cut with TBT OBE, Psycho, Party Animal, Sis & FLIPTOP to miss out the earlier loop & the stinky water that Tyler jumped in to!

As the Trail headed up through the avenue of trees & away from the cottages the talk turned to TBT OBE & his time out at EurtoHash, it seems that he’s really like a grown-up Frank Spenser!  Anyhow, the Trail turned at the end of the drive, away from Camfield Place to head to the northeast once more as the route stuck with the farm track away through Duncan’s wood.  It was now noticeable how humid it was in the still air under the cover of the tree canopy.

The Trail now headed down hill, so the Pace began to pick up.  On the descent down to a CHK in the southern edge of mysteriously named Panther’s wood, the RA explained that Camfield Place was once the home to the prolific writer Barbara Cartland & that she is buried under a tree on the estate.  At the bottom of the hill the next CHK was found just within the wood’s edge.

There was calling emanating from both the possible direction from the CHK, with Mark E Mark, Skip & Little Hole all heading off eastward a short way then crossing over the stream by way of a wooden footbridge, they were soon up the wooded embankment running toward Essendon on what would be a long Falsie!

The rest of the Pack were taken off by the Hare on the correct Trail, which continued by following the course of the stream, that once they were out of the wood, would soon be hidden in the hedgerow.  As the Trail came out in to the open fields it soon changed tack to head north-westward, this was slightly up hill as the path came out on to a CHK on the wide hedged in track.

Again the Hare had laid a long False Trail away to the north & on behind the Candlestick Pub, it was around here that Porky Pie had caught up with the Pack & like Zing-a-long-a-max who was also now on the Trail, it was just in time to fall for the Long Falsie!  Little Hole also managed to gain back the ground he & Skip had lost earlier, at least this time he chose the correct option, though he thought that he had gone wrong.

Porky Pie would get to hear about how the Herts Party to EuroHash (Except TBT OBE who is still miffed at this) got to fly on BA’s latest Dream-liner plane, they were flying this to & from Heathrow to Stockholm for August & in Spetember it wil be heading out to Canada & back  It is actually a lot quieter than the normal Jet!

The Track arced around through Harewood to emerge on to the West End lane, here Little Hole again chose the right option, but wasn’t sure once more as a short way along the tarmac lane he stopped & was found to be coming back toward the Hare & the RA.  The Hare corrected Little Hole’s mistake & after what could have only been a few paces along the lane from where he had come to a halt, it was pointed out to him where the pile of Dust was!  The RA reckoned that if someone wasn’t looking then they could have tripped over this large pile of flour!

The Trail was now heading southward, back over wild hill toward the Hamlet & the On Inn.  Of course with the time only being twenty two the hour, the Hare wasn’t going to be finished with the Pack just yet & when the Trail approached the Greenstreet Track off to the west, the Hash would be taken off of the direct route Inn & away from the desired route.

It would now be a long trot out on this tree-lined track, along here Tent Packer &his daughter caught up with the FRBs after their late start, Mrs Mallet was back further along the Trail where she could have taken the very short cut that Fliptop & Sis took by heading straight down the hill on West End lane.  Tent Packer & his daughter, Charlotte, ran away from the middle order of the Hash discussing the subject of Hash Handles, how you get one etc, to which the RA added “Normally by doing something stupid!”

The majority continued with the Trail, following the dust off from the CHK three quarter’s of a ‘click’ up the track, here a spur of a track led on by Woodside Place farm & out on to the Wildhill road, there was even some nice shiggy along this shaded route to the CHK by the small triangle of grass by Woodside place farm.

It was now the three quarter mark point in the Trail, with the Keenies heading out southward in to the next set of crop fields, here the likes of Mark E Mark, Skip, Porky Pie, Little Hole, Spotted Dick, Tent Packer & His Daughter all crossed the fields toward Grubs Lane, where the Brookmans’ Park transmitter with its red lights on top of the masts could be seen in the not so far off distance.  There was a nice sunset to be seen in the east [As the old saying goes “Red Sky at Night……….your barn’s on fire!” – Ed]

            The Keenies wouldn’t go that far as the Trail would turn eastward & head down in to the valley of arable fields, to come back in by the horse & cattle paddocks behind the Pub, meanwhile the other’s took the Hare up on his offer of the largest Short Cut of the day, those jaded by EuroHash, UK Nash Hash & TBT OBE’s EuroHash Flu didn’t think twice on this offer & wandered down the lane back in to Wildhill.  The majority of the Pack were back around ten past the Hour, just in time to see the Morris Men arriving.

            There were a few aspersion cast when the Hare & RA arrived back, on the official Short Cut, where they found that Fliptop & Sis were already back with their menagerie of hounds, they weren’t alone but the Hare & RA reckoned that Fliptop was now only half a R*n ahead of My Lil’ [Enough with the competitive bits! –Ed]

It was a balmy enough day to sit out side & watch the St Alban’s Morris Men do their stuff.  Sis seemed unimpressed by Fliptop’s purchase of Mustard Pickled Beetroot from behind the Bar [Looks like it’ll be beetroot sarnies for Fliptop all this week? – Ed] Others were far more interested in the upcoming Beer Festival the next Weekend!  Also looked at was the Charity Bed Race, but this idea was quickly abandoned as Hyena would be the one to get in the bed & the rest didn’t think that they could get him up the hill to roll back down again!

Between the break in the Morris dancing, the RA manage dot get the Circle called together by the JM.  The Pack had to make their way up the sloped garden at the side of the Pub.  It was a bit dark up there as Sis carried the Down-Downs up to the second table.

            The Hare was rewarded for setting a good Trail of just over an hour; then the RA’s focus turned to Spotted Dick & his now smelly dog after Tyler went in the pond of slurry drained water!  The Two Newies, of Emily & Charlotte, were both out for completing their first Herts Trails; Mark E Mark was out for his Del-boy Trotter as Batman outfit wasn’t quiet complete as the head-gear lobby Lobster had ordered, this was still on its way from China, to arrive just after he had got home from UKNH3!

The talk then turned to EuroHash & TBT OBE having a long, long list of things he could have had around 20 Down-Downs for, Including:  Falling over trying to get his short son in his cabin, being locked out of his cabin, not getting any Swedish Krona to spend, not telling his phone provider that he was going overseas so his mobile didn’t work, not letting his car provider know he was going over seas so his credit card worked, breaking his razor, dropping his glasses in a horse trough.

Finally Paxo & Hyena were out for getting stopped at Customs at Heathrow, when they had declared that they did NOT have any liquids in their hand luggage & Hyena was stopped for having 150Mls of Gaviscon, while didn’t have any liquids he did set off the metal detector Paxo wore granddad style metal stud fly-buttons on his pants to get a pat down from the Customs man, which happened twice!! [Rumour has it that he also had a coin in his back pocket to set it off! – Ed]