Date = January 2014
Run Number = 1540
Venue = The Manor House
Beer = Adnams, some American style IPAs
Hares = Fliptop
Runners = 16
Virgin = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 4
Newies = 0
Hounds = 2
Total = 22
Membership = Doing the Seven Hills of
The New Spoons in Royston has a bit of an anomaly in the fact that the old Social Club building the Pub now frequents, still owns the car park behind this grand red brick building, it doesn’t belong to Spoons & several rather large signs alert the unaware to this fact & that you’ll get clamped if you shouldn’t be there!
So, to try & prevent any clamping any of the Hash, who may have driven there, an email was sent out to warn the Pack & advise them to park behind at car park by the Health Centre. Of course Sparky wouldn’t have received this message, but he didn’t drive in to the car park behind the Spoons, instead he tried to park up in another private car park beside the Spoons. Fliptop was soon alerted to the situation by the small line a few cars that were sounding their horns at Sparky who was now blocking their entry!
The majority of the Pack met up in the car park by the Health Centre, though being in the shade & with the chilly wind it was a tad on the cold side. Sparky found the correct car park! Then the Hash had to walk around to the front of the Spoons for the welcoming Circle!
The RA pointed out that this was a new Spoons & yet to go the way of some to be frequented by the type you get in this report from Beer in the Evening’s website……. “go in here once a year at the start of a Christmas pub crawl. I've never, ever had a problem in this pub. I'm not mad about Wetherspoons, but the location does make sense, and it helps to get a few decent pints of real ale at a fair price before moving on. The only grumble really is that the outside smoking area is beset with beggars, druggies, and other undesirables, but that's a feature of railway stations. 6/10 for me, which ain't bad as Wetherspoons go.”
The other thing that was pointed out was the brand new looking shoes that Tent Packer was wearing, not as bright as Omo’s banana yellow ones from the week before, fancy wearing New Shoes on a Hash!
Fortunately the GM kept things brief, but the Hare didn’t once he was introduced! Fliptop took to the centre of the Circle & delivered what could only be described as a ‘Barrel of Red Herrings’ which included flying Golf Balls, train tracks & water crossings to name just a few! Then with the Church bells having tolled eleven o’clock, the Pack were let loose, being directed over the Melbourne road.
As the FRBs crossed at the pelican crossing, 3D was heard to say to Port & Starboard that they should wait at any road crossing, for an Adult to be there or better still for her to arrive! [Does she not trust the rest of the Hash? – Ed] The RA soon led the way down along by the shop fronts until he found a CHK by the start of (old) High Street.
Mr X turned left & headed up the old worlde High Street as it led away almost due south. Halfway up the narrow, almost Dickensian alleyway of this shopping area, the next CHK was found. So, the RA chose to check a cut-through to another back street of the old part of the town, that he knew leads up to an entrance to the gardens. He would find no joy down there, as “On!” was called from the opposite archway to the Upper Kings Street.
On his way back the RA had to take action to avoid a silly old woman who was too busy ‘walking & talking’ on her mobile to see what was happening around her & bumbled in to his path! This was the type of person who’ll probably walk out in front of some innocent driver, the RA concluded that she was probably a potential for the Darwin Awards!
As the RA started off on the west side of the High Street, Paxo, who had been through the right hand-side arch, was now also returning to the High Street! It was now ARP & No Eye Deer who were taking up the lead as they had continued up the high street, where they found the correct Trail. At the junction where the High Street joins the bend in the A10, London Road, the next CHK was located.
Sludge, Tent Packer & the RA were soon over the Zebra crossing, on the other side they soon began looking all over the road layout, all making various ways around or over the car park to favour the London road side of the locale. Even Kylie was caught out as there was no Trail on the west of the junction.
“On!” was called back around the bend on the start of the Barkway road, on his way back the RA almost collided with Fliptop, who was standing on the narrow path & filling its breadth around this old route that leads away to the east.
TBT OBE was quickly away down this route as the other FRBs began to catch up with him, he suddenly broke off just as the bend at the start of the Barkway road began to straighten out. The Trail peeled off to take to an alleyway of a footpath running between the back of the homes on Garden Lane & the estate that has many cul-de-sacs off of the circular Bedlam Avenue.
As the path progresses from being fenced in with wooden panels, it soon changed to be tree-lined as a natural rift between the hills of Royston widens to form a strip of green plantation. There were plenty of opportunities for the Hare to throw the Hounds off of the scent, & of course he used then as there were several CHKs along the Green Walk plantation which didn’t lay not too far from where the end of the Cul-de-sacs encroach on to its edge.
The Hare could also use the myriad of connecting routes going between the two parallel paths running through the plantation. Several times along the way the Pack’s FRBs were caught out, especially just before the path comes out onto the edge of the open farm fields.
Mr X was convinced that the Trail would take the Hash around the edge of Royston, by going in & out of the paths & alleyways. In a way he was correct, except that he presumed that it would be in a clockwise direction so it would head down a path behind the fenced of homes in a westerly direction dropping toward the A10 & then perhaps over the Heath.
Those who continued straight ahead to the southeast would find the Trail would terminate in a T as well, this only left the easterly route along the bottom end of the crop field. By now 3D, Port, Starboard, My Lil’ Sis & Flanders were all heading out over the crop field as it traversed the edge of the open ground that slowly began to drop down in to another of the tree lined plantations, hidden in a narrow valley between the hills.
On the way a limping My Lil’ was assisted, or hindered, by Paxo as he tried to stop him from sliding in the shiggy. My Lil’s protest made you wonder if Paxo was being of nay help?
A CHK was found just within the woodland, Port & Starboard were among the first there, one noticeable thing was that there was more shiggy ahead as the slippery slope led down to another wider track through this wooded plantation. Mr X had a thought that the Trail could follow this route, part of the Hertfordshire way, all the way back in to Royston by Grange Bottom, but just as he started off down this way, Sparky called “On!” from up to the southeast.
Again the Pack were led out to the edge of the open farm land, there a Held CHK was found as the Hash looked out almost from the top of the rolling hills down to the southeast of Royston. The Pack were pretty much together, so there was little time spent hanging around for the FRBs, however there was time for the Hare to go around like a bad mime artist with an empty palm offering pretend (invisible) mini Mars Bars of Milky Ways! The Pack humoured him!
When the Trail resumed, No Eye Deer decided she would head away down the hillside to the southeast, while Paxo, My Lil’, Arp & Mr X all choose to head along the wide farm track to Flint Hall Farm to the west. Both routes would be wrong as calls of “On!” would come from Tent Packer, Sludge & TBT OBE who wisely had chosen the easterly option along the track.
By the time the others had come back from their Falsies, the rest had mysteriously disappeared out of their sight on what was a long straight track. Once the others had followed the route to the east, they discovered that the Trail cut in between the trees to find a path running inside the tree-line. Only a short way in there & another CHK was found, by the time the ‘Off Trail’ Keenies had caught up to this point, the rest of the Pack were well on their way over the field of damp brassicas toward the northwest.
The Dust led on to the edge of the B1039 Barkway road, Port & Starboard waited for 3D to arrive, at a point before the spindly hedgerow, as on the other side a short part of the Trail led along the road’s grass verge. The RA came out of the field & had to run on part of the road’s edge to pass by TBT OBE.
Up ahead, where the dead end Shaftesbury Road peels off to the left, the RA could see Tent Packer & Kylie hanging around at the Junction after they, with Sludge, had lost the Trail. Mr X said that further ahead on the bend in the road lay a footpath on the opposite side, just slightly before the bend. But he was warned by the Kylie & Tent Packer that Sludge had already found a Bar CHK up that way!
The RA didn’t believe this & he went to look himself, in fact right up to the so called Bar CHK that he could push the stacked pile of leaves off of the barb of the arrow pointing over the road…………….. to the footpath the RA had mentioned earlier! Shame Sludge was still searching the dead end back-roads as the RA called “On!”. Once over the Barkway Road, a CHK was found.
The Falsie out over the back edge of the farm land was checked out by Tent Packer & Kylie, while Mr X didn’t want to scare a timid greyhound & went wrong as he searched down the roadside as it descends the hill in to Royston. No Eye Deer tried to call Mr X back, but the noise of the traffic masked her calls, he realised he had gone wrong when no Dust was found, although there were a few BT markings that were very Hash like & had caught his attention!
Back to the CHK for the RA & by now the Trail had been found by Sparky, as it led on down through the third plantation. Stile Plantation started up the hill by Limekiln Close, running beside the grounds of a local school to the right & the homes of Royston to the left, this long, thin dog-leg of pine tree woodland leads all the way down to the Newmarket Road.
The RA again had to pass by the timid Greyhound, then a few other pooch walkers on what was a nice long penultimate stretch on a gentle decline to the main road. Near the bottom of the hill there was a slight chance of going wrong if you drifted off of the path within the tree line & chose the harder tarmac one at the rear of the homes. Sparky, Kylie, TBT OBE & Mr X didn’t stray & soon found themselves at the main road’s edge.
Caution was needed in crossing the main drag, not only for motor vehicles, but also for cyclists who seemed to be out in force that morning. Once safely over the road, arrows directed the Pack back toward the Centre of Royston, finally the Hare was playing ball & there were no more surprises or turn offs from the direct route back along the leafy suburban road
The RA arrived back at Sludge’s car as the church Bell tolled Noon! So, an hour to get around, not bad at all!!
The Bar was ram-packed by the time the Pack arrived & a lot of tables had paper signs on them saying that they were booked in advanced. Fliptop said that he didn’t realise that you could pre-book tables, even though most of the Pack were eating that day [The RA being the exception! – Ed]
Here the Pack met up with Six Pack, What Mother Says & Two Timer, before Slug also made an entance.
The Pack huddled around one strangely high table in one corner, where they could look down in envy on an unoccupied table reserved for 13:00Hrs, who weren’t there on time. But when they arrived it turns out that Sis & What Mum Says knew the party!
The Down-Downs took place outside, where the Pack did get a table! The Hare was awarded for a good Trail; Sparky was out for completing his 100 Herts Trails & an invisible tankard handed to him! Sludge for mistaking an arrow for a Bar CHK! Tent Packer got away with the new shoes, after all of the faffing about trying to find a place to gather in the Bar it slipped the RA’s mind!
Kylie was awarded his for remembering he is the Herts Beer Master. Slug was awarded his for not running but staying at home to do some tiling, but quitting at the “Hard circular bits!” ARP was out for being on TV & Blubbing away as her ‘baby’ was blasted off into Space to photograph the Milky Way [Wasn’t there some left in Fliptop’s bag of sweets? – Ed]
Paxo for being a resident of Ware, all of whom (according to the National Press) hold the record for the amount of porn watched in the UK, which made the national press!!!
The Pack returned to the Bar & managed to find enough tables to sit down & eat, so it all turned out well in the end! Well almost, as there was a lot of chopping & changing of upcoming Run dates to fit the AGPU in, this has now been resolved & the Hare-line has been jiggled about to look a little bit different, SO PLEASE LOOK AT THE LATEST HARELINE!!!