Date = 16th February 2014
Run Number = 1545
Venue = The Victoria
Beer = McMullens
Hares = TBT OBE
Runners = 8
Virgin = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 2
Newies = 0
Hounds = 3
Total = 13
Membership = Enjoying the Summer!
Return of the curate!
With Mr X being on his travels (along with My Lil’ and Junior) to the Guernsey Harriettes’ & Guernsey Mens’ Mud ‘ n’ Fun Alternative to InterHash weekend, it was once again time for the Curate to step up to the mark. First to arrive on the scene was 2-1-2 Maureen followed closely by Sloppy Seconds and then Sludge.
Sparky was next but then disappeared to find a parking place, eventually returning after the hash had started, as oft is the case. Thanks were given to the Curate for a bright and DRY sunny day and the pack set off.
Taking a left out of the pub car park the route headed towards the town centre, filtering its way through the alleys running parallel with the High Street in a northerly direction until a check was reached by St Mary the Virgin. St Mary the Virgin is an ancient foundation, mentioned in the Doomsday Book. The present church building is a Grade One listed building standing at the head of the High Street and is attributed to ‘The Fair Maid of Kent’, mother of Richard II. [I was going to say, there can’t be many virgins in Ware? But I shan’t! – Ed]
Here the pack disbursed in various directions until the route was eventually traced across the High Street and through the Burgage Lane car park towards the River Lea. It was found out later that 2-1-2 Maureen and Pebbledash had returned to the check after the hare had left and whilst directionally marked, struggled to find the ongoing trail.
From here the trail headed across the footbridge where a check was found offering north or south trails along the river bank. By the time the Curate reached this point, Sludge and Pepé were out of sight and only Sparky present. TBT OBE behind and the whereabouts of the rest of the pack unknown (a common feature from then on). The trail headed south along the bank and on reaching Viaduct Road bridge took a right up towards the railway station. Sludge had at this point crossed the road on the bridge only to find the ‘ON INN’ sign. He returned. [Is the GM frightened of the Curate? – Ed]
Just over the railway line a footpath to the right headed out into the valley along the New River. The New River is an artificial waterway in England, opened in 1613 to supply London with fresh drinking water taken from the River Lea and from Chadwell Springs and Amwell Springs (which had ceased to flow by the end of the 19th century).
Somewhat shiggy in places, the trail headed out in to the valley and away from the main conurbation of Ware. Here the pack got quite stretched out such that the Curate wasn’t heard muttering to himself that he couldn’t see anyone in front or behind on this ½ mile straight stretch, until that is he came upon Sparky washing his hands in the ‘drinking water’. ‘Who fell over, who fell over’!
Sparky and Sloppy Seconds followed the trail to the next check on the Hertford Road. From here Sparky headed down into the valley and at the next check a falsie across the plain in a northerly direction. His plight was watched by Sloppy Seconds from way up high, whilst TBT OBE and Sludge who was thought to be the front runner caught up.
Here Sludge commented that in the trail confusion(s) we had only gone 2.2km and it was 11.40am. This band of musketeers then followed a shortcut up the Hertford Road and stopped just past the A10 viaduct where the trail headed across the road and into the estate bordering the Pine Hurst footpath.
At this point Sludge and Sloppy suggested that in view of the low numbers and being so spread out, it might be wise to hold an informal health check. Just as well for it was nearly 10 minutes before the rest of the pack, with Pebbledash and 2-1-2 Maureen coming from one direction and Pepé, Fliptop and eventually Sparky another. TBT OBE handed out sweets meant for the actual held check some mile away.
The pack set off up the footpath and through the housing estate using both road and footpaths until they emerged on to the Stanstead Road by McDonalds. Dodgedly negotiating the ‘edges’ of the roundabout and two A10 slip roads, the trail continued along a footpath flanked by a hedge on either side to Hoe Lane. Sludge and Sloppy Seconds were first to arrive at this, the formal held check.
However with time passing and by now well past opening time a short cut was created. This obviated the need to start trundling around one of TBT OBE’s favourite woodland trails (remember the last one – even TBT OBE didn’t know where it went).
Hoe Lane, a left at London Road and right at Amwell Street very quickly found the pack minus 2-1-2 Maureen speedily to the pub. 2-1-2 Maureen arrived some 10 minutes later.
Ewok and Dad were found to be at the pub, joining the Hash for a quick beer before unfortunately having to visit Paxo who’d had need to return to hospital the previous evening. All wished Paxo and Ewok well.
TBT OBE in a spurious attempt to negate some of his likely down-downs provided vegetable soup and a roll to those in attendance.
TBT OBE – for 50% of a fine trail (probably should have given him a half to down).
2-1-2 Maureen for 0300 runs. 2-1-2 Maureen seemed unsure as to whether she had reached this number and the book wasn’t available to check, hence Maureen promised to return her fleece should this prove to be NOT the case.
Sparky – was seen to be washing his hands in the river, when questioned and then evidenced by mud up to his waist, Sparky reliably informed on himself and said that he’d fallen over.
TBT – earlier the curate was heard to ask Sludge whether 10 down-downs could be given to one person in a circle, such had been TBT OBE’s contribution to the run. As he was driving he was given just the one, this for being the ‘Banksy’ of Ware having can sprayed graffiti over half the lampposts and pavements the route took around Ware.
Pepé – took the ‘Star of Broadway’ hit for his walk of fame. TBT had erringly laid the trail across private property and one house-owner decided to film Pepé and other hash members who used the private alleyway between the houses as they regrouped.
Pebbledash – for living up to the picture Mr X painted of her in last weeks Hash Trash (even though not on that particular run). Evidence – the Curate had made notes on the run, the last four of which read in order:-
Round housing estate; sex/pebbledash; McDonalds; Hoe lane.
Flip Top – held on to the ‘Hashshit’ for not wearing it on the run [How long has he been Hashing? – Ed]. Curate explained that a precedent had been set just a few weeks back when No Eye Deer received the same treatment.
Last but not least (and I’m not sure if this is within the rules) the Curate received a down-down for having worn his cap throughout the circle. His protestations about the sun burning his scalp were ignored.