Date = 2nd March 2014
Run Number = 1547
Venue = The Queen’s Head
Location= Allen’s Green
Beer = 67 Squadron, Porter
Hares = Sloppy Seconds
Runners = 14
Virgin = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 14
Membership = Glad to see the Joint Monkey back!
One thing the RA noticed this morning was the number of Herts Hashers who needed a pee upon arrival, it was like a Saga coach outing stopping off! The outcome was that three of the Pack went in three different directions to find some kind of relief! At least two of them were far more discreet than Hyena, who was up against the shed in the car park!! By the way, does Saga stand for Send A Granny Away?
The gathering Pack were treated to the reappearance of the Joint Monkey as he drove Ewok & TBT OBE to the venue, TBT OBE didn’t seem to be giving the finger to anyone this week. The Pack were busy chatting to Paxo, so such an extent that the Grand Monkey let the time slip by 11:00Hrs before he eventually called the Circle together.
After getting the weekly run number correct, Sludge turned his attention to introducing the Hare. Sloppy Seconds step forward & went on to explain that it was muddy out on the Trail, [No shit Sherlock!- Ed] he pointed at the messy bottoms he was wearing to show the state he was in after setting the Trail earlier that morning.
With the time heading toward ten past, the Hare finally directed the Hash out of the car park & southward down the road by the long green the hamlet derives its name from. The pace wasn’t the greatest to start with as the wind had picked up & was blowing straight in to the faces of the Pack as they ran down the green with its old village pump sitting on it. Then it was down to the bend off to the left, where the road makes its way out of the hamlet & away to High Wych.
Porky Pie was soon on to the southbound footpath directly across from the CHK on the edge of the road, the poor CHK had been driven over a couple of times looking at the state it was in.
The RA chose to search off to the west, down the narrow single track lane for Dukes Farm, calls of “On!” now came from both directions as this Hare likes to almost equidistant marks to make the Pack work to find the scent! As Mr X passed by the entrance to the small industrial units, which includes Red Barn interiors, he would discover that he was on the correct Trail as the Dust led him on to the next CHK, that was located on the outside corner of an enclosed horse paddock.
Mr X then chose to ignore running along the tarmac lane further westward to Warrens, instead he took the footpath off of hard capped lane, this ‘Colley’s lane path’ headed southward between the hedged-in paddock & the tree-line along the edge of the single track lane. A woman out walking an over-friendly dog managed to get the excited pooch back on the lead before it could jump up the RA & the following Pack.
Along the secluded Colley’s lane path, it was quite obvious how the recent rain water hasn’t been able to soak away, for the normally dry ditches of the hedgerows were full up & over flowing along the path’s route. The Dust would lead out through a gap in the hedgerow & on to the drier lane, it would come out to a CHK by a series of intersecting footpaths. By now Porky Pie, Sparky, Tent Packer, My Lil’, Sludge, ARP & Ewok had all caught up with Mr X.
The RA was the only one who venture out over the boggy field to the west, again calls of “On!” came from all directions, but it was Mr X who was on the correct Trail after he had crossed Fiddler’s Brook, the Hare’s pre-Trail warning of being careful on wooden footbridges was a little clue that the Trail could go out this way.
The Hash made their way around the edge of the common like perimeter of the fields to the west, the footpath heading slightly toward the northwest as it made it was up by the hedgerow hiding the brook but not the over spilling rain water, to head over to the farm before St Elizabeth’s Home & School.
ARP & Ewok seemed to be having a good chat along this part of the Trail as they ran side by side, but again the wind was a factor & most slowed up at some point on this long shiggy trot over to the farmyard.
Once out through the gate to the converted farm buildings, the Pack found a CHK where a footpath crosses the dead-end of the lane they had just come on to. Porky Pie tried the path off to the east, but found a T, while Tent Packer & others went off over to the not so old builds of St Elizabeth’s care home, but both Mr X & My Lil’ had other ideas. These two were spurred on by “Keep Ruining!” calls from a civilian just getting out of his Mercedes, plus they believed that the Trail would follow the lane northward out to where it joins the Perry Green road.
The RA & Hare Raiser were correct in their assumption & called “On”!” on the way out to find the first Held CHK of the Trail, right by where the lane joins the Perry Green road. When the Hare arrived at the CHK, he offered up some Haribo sweets [Other sweets are available for Held CHKs from reputable retailers! – Ed]
The Hare said that he would wait for 2-1-2 Maureen & Hyena, as to offer them a short cut later on, then he encourage the Pack to search once again as he entrusted Sparky with the sweets to hand out at the other Held CHK on the Trail. Sparky confined the sweets to their fate, as he placed the confectionaries in his bumbag!
Sludge was convinced that the obvious choice for the Trail to go from the Held CHK was the wide track of really deep shiggy, off to the northeast, he would be correct as the Trail was picked up to lead out behind the large detached properties, to reach the farm land beyond. As the Pack slipped about on their way out of the tree lined track, a greyhound in the garden to the left decided that it would bark at them all the way to the end of the long garden it was in.
Out on to the edge of the farm land & another CHK was found, the option heading back toward Allen’s Green would have been too soon & was ignored by everyone, instead the other option to cross straight over the seeded crop-field was chosen & this long puddle strewn option was correct.
There was a kink in the end of the path, where a CHK was found as it negotiates its way around the back of Bradley Hall farm. Here the likes of Tent Packer & Sludge met up with a woman walking her large black hairy pooch, she said that she didn’t want to stop them from running as they were doing so well [She forgot to add - For men of their age?- Ed]!
Mr X was the only one to be daft enough to go off on the footpath over to the east, a T stopped him in his tracks but fortunately only a third of the way through the tree-lined route. On his way back, Mr X looked back over the open fields to see how Hyena was getting on, & wave toward him. As he did so, he noticed a figure in black running up to Hyena. This late comer was Kylie, who must live the nearest to the venue, but it was good to see him out.
The RA was soon back on to the other path that follows the brook as it heads northward to the bottom northeast corner of Green Tye. A CHK just within the scrubby woodland at the edge of Green Tye, from this was a Falsie on the first footpath in to the hamlet, no doubt to avoid taking the Pack by the Prince of Wales? [Evil Hare! – Ed]
Instead the Trail would take the Pack in to the village at the next footpath that branched off to the north west, this one was almost at the top end of the Hamlet. Once out of the dead end spur road, the FRBs found the other Held CHK of the Trail, on the edge of the Green at Green Tye.
Now, as the FRBs awaited the SCBS to catch up some of the ground the Keenies had got away with, My Lil’ started to enquire where the Sweets were? Sparky then went to his bumbag & unzipped it, he pulled out the sweet bag that only had two sweets in it. The rest of the sweets had fallen out into Sparky’s bumbag, unprotected they were scattered amongst who knows what! My Lil’ had a change of heart & refused any sweets as he said “I dread to think what’s been in Sparky’s bag. He wasn’t alone!
Sludge declared that the Hash should move on, with Hyena & 2-1-2 Maureen being looked after by the Hare, so the Keenies set off once again. Even with a myriad of paths in this Hamlet, Mr X & My Lil’ had more than an inkling that the Trail would head out of north end of Green Tye on the tarmac lane. Sure enough it did & they led the way down the road out to Warren Farm. As the Trail met the crossroads with the lane from Dane Bridge to Trims Green, a Short & Long Trail split was marked on tarmac.
Mr X & My Lil’ both took to the Short option, as they knew that the upcoming loop on the long Trail wasn’t going to be an extra ten minute run as the Hare had promised [More like they knew that the time was ten to opening-time? – Ed] On the way these two were passed by a Cyclist who was wearing the very same type of Arsenil hat as Hyena had on that morning, as he went by the RA had to mention the score against Stoke!
Sludge did his best in honking his little horn, while Sparky sounded his to try & get the attention of these two wayward Hashers. They were having a giraffe in trying to get these two to do the whole Trail now. Especailly as the Hare had given them a “Get out of Jail” card as it was an official Short Cut, which meant that the aching knees would not be punished on the loop or in the Circle & would be free from Sludge making any comments to try & get them in to trouble.
Meanwhile, the Keenies continued up the lane to Warren Farm, this was a long stretch before the Trail turned off the road just before the farm, then it takes to the footpath running south-easterly to the wooded area at Gatney Spring, crossing the brook on the way. Out of the small wood & the Trail headed eastward. Finally the Trail turned southward as the path turned to head down through Mathams Wood.
Out of the larger wood, the Trail turned south-westerly to head over the open farm land to meet the other lane that the SCBs had taken. Arrows were found on the tarmac beside the bridge for the brook, these directed the Pack on to the footpath heading south-southwest by the paddocks of Bount’s Farm.
The going on the farm track was slow, as again there were lots of puddles & plenty of Shiggy on a dead straight stretch down to the solitary white house in the corner of Sacombes Ash wood. As the uncapped Trail turned to a gravel track by the home, the Hash noticed the signs warning of ‘Rottweilers on the loose’ within the grounds of the white house. As the Trail turned to the left with the course of the drive that heads back in to the north end of Allens Green, the Rottweilers started barking at the passing pack from the end of the property within the ash trees.
Mr X & My Lil’ trotted on by the south-westerly footpath, before a couple of homes, to lead off of the south-easterly drive they were on heading out to Hylands Nursery in the north of Allens Green, at least they were far enough ahead of the rest when they found the Bar CHK & had time to turn back to the path beside the home. So, a south-westerly trot around the edge of the field behind the property’s paddock like garden.
With a 90° turn to the left, then the right & finally one to the left again they reached the wooden bridge in the hedgerow, over this & there was one last field to run through to find the On Inn by the gate at the other end of the field, almost directly opposite the Queens Head. The RA remarked on how wet the ground was at the end of the hedged in field, then recalled that ARP had been behind this before the Circle was called!
The Pack got to catch up with Paxo, who had been out for a little walk & done a couple of the CHKs on the Trail [Well done! – Ed]. The JM ordered a few bowls of chips to spoil the Pack, which was also handy as some of the Pack were tucking in to 2-1-2 Maureen’s crisps, after mistaking them for the Hash bags of crisp that were bought earlier!
Having enjoyed a few of the excellent Ales, time came around to the Circle. Outside & the Hare from the previous week joined this weeks Hare, as there weren’t enough at the Trail from the Station to warrant holding a circle.
With both Hare’s thanked for the good Trails they had set, the RA’s attention turned to the sinners on the Trail! ARP for being the first to go off & pee: Hyena for not being alone in wearing an Arsenal Hat out on the Trail! TBT OBE, would have received the HASHIT [Nothing new there then! – Ed] but as the absent Fliptop still had it, he received his hit for the spam emails he kept sending The RA, the GM! Kylie was out for completing 200 Herts Runs!