The Full Moon in Kobbegem – Trail 8 for the Brussels 2014 – A brief report!
This event had a number of Herts Regulars taking part over the two days as either Hares or Hounds, this would count as a Herts Trail number 1569, with around 240 Hashers on this Trail over the two days.
If the voting at the previous InterHash hadn’t been like that of a FIFA World Cup Bid, this European would have been InterHash in 2014, anyhow read on….
Ketchup never made it, since he was seen going to his Hotel room as the Hares were evading out to the Bus pick-up point at Parc Cinquantenaire! He had crashed out with Mark E Mark, which displaced Lobby Lobster from the bedroom so she ended up crashing in with Mumblehead! Lobby was none too happy about this!
TBT OBE almost never left St Pancras, after he forgot his drinking vessel, as advertised by the event organizers, so he went walk about looking for a souvenir shop to buy one! [Surely a Belgium one would be better in Brussels! – Ed]
Back to the Trails & the Full Moon Trail proved to be too popular for both days & the queues had to be stopped boarding when the Buses quickly filled up. The Hares were taken by surprise that people were there that early & it wasn’t nice having to turn Hashers away. Seems our Travelling & work on other events must make us very popular!
Even TC ventured out from his retirement home for this event of the Summer! Other’s we had not seen for a while included Sister Maria & his other half Fuzz Buster. Walkie Talkie, Trigamist, Postie, Dragon, Ginger Root, Henry Root & Fag End to name just a few who swelled the ranks over the weekend.
Xperiment was another Herts Hasher there who was among those who failed to get on either days bus to our Trail out in the Asse area of Flanders, the name of which gave some laughs at Smart Arse’s expense. Stiff Meat even cleaned the grime from various signposts around the Trail for those who would take selfies & proper photo-shots of Hashers beside these signs in various states of dress!
Those who were Hares for the Trail included: Smartarse, My Lil’, Panda, Mr X, Crystal Balls, Hannahballs Omo, Tinkerbelle, Hyena, Stiff Meat, Action Man who had all been out to the venue area on at least three occasions before to reconnoitre the place, which left an impression on the Locals in the Wit Paard (White Horse)
Outside of the Wit Paard was something the Pack hadn’t seen before, a vending machine for fresh bread at €2 a loaf! [A bread vending machine, it’s the future! – Ed] lemming & Mother were suitably impressed!
Mr X did the 'Chalk Talk' for both days, explaining that if they should encounter any locals (civilians) that it was preferable not to speak French, as they will not respond, nor would they if you spoke German since the Trail was in the Flanders area of Belgium, where the speak Flemish. It was best to speak English, since most of the locals are fluent. [Better than wot sum of us do! - Ed]
Mr X added that on part of the Trail some would pass by a blue box which contained an effigy of the Virgin Mary, he went on to say if anyone was overcome with a desire to get down on their knees & confess their sins, then they should do so at the final Circle!
The Hares had worked things out well, there was no need for any portaloos on this Trail, since our friends at the Wit Paard had kindly given their permission for the Pub's facilities to be used by the Hash, before & after the Trail.
So, on the Saturday Trail as Mr X called the Pack down to Circle up on the village green below where the Buses had parked up. On his way down to explain the situation with the toilets, Mr X passed through a gap in the bushes to pass by Chikki who was squatting just inside the shrubbery! That was one Down-Down sorted out for alter on!
Another one who couldn’t make it to the Facilities in time was Deepthroat, who was too busy barfing in a nearby bush to notice either Chikki or Mr X. Seems that sitting on the hot bus was too much, when his Down-Down was awarded to him by Mr X, the Herts RA let the rest of the Pack know that Deep Throat was an ordained preacher as Mr X could hear him calling out to God while he had his head in the shrubbery! His Down-Down would be a special Full Moon Cocktail you will read about later on.
With this Trail being around Flanders’ farmland, there were large parts of the Trail that were exposed to the bright sunshine, so, for those of a fair or ginger complexion were offered sun-block. The Full Moon had thought of everything.
Mr X also explained about the Morte Subite Brewery opposite the Pub, how they also wouldn't come out & play to send someone out to explain the unique Lambic brewing process, left open to the natural Yeast in the Flanders’ air at certain times of the year.
There were simply too many on each Hash to have a Brewery trip, plus nearly all of the Hash must have been on one in the past. But it was not good Public Relations by any means, but Mr X said it was still worth trying their superior products even if they weren't a very amiable bunch.
Another point that the Packs were made aware of was the fact that the Trail would also follow, leave & rejoin on several occasions a route marked with red signs & red cloth strips tied to trees & bushes to show the way for a Kid’s Cycle ride & walk. Fortunately the Pack really didn’t meet any of these on the way around.
The Trail itself consisted of a 3 mile trot around to the Beer Stop, after which there were options of a quarter mile downhill trot to the Village, or another one, two or three miles after that. Klinger was among the Pack, so you could see that it would be a good strollers Trail!
It all worked like clockwork on the first run around on the Saturday, it would be a little different on the Sunday trot! The Trail left the village beside the Morte Subite Brewery, then to take to the crop fields to the North of the Brewery, as the Trail headed out by what looked like small allotments on the start of the field, the Pack passed by a small, brick electricity sub-station that had some graffiti on its wall, it was very apt as it spelt out 'Moon'.
On the recce if the Trail, the Hares posed with a line of Full Moons right by this Graffiti as Hannahballs took the shot, but this was delayed as a cyclist who was bewildered at the sight came free-wheeling down the hill, which left the line of exposed backsides on show a little longer than expected!
The route would make good use of footpaths, cycle routes & almost deserted back roads in this rural farmland. It was noticed that the mix of crops in the fields, with larger fields having strips of other varied crops on their edges that resembled allotments, some had small patches of Corn, Cabbages, Cauliflowers & even the infamous Brussel Sprouts growing. Crystal Balls spied the Brussels Sprouts for later on in the Circle!
The Trail would head northward through the farm land & small hamlets of Veldeen & around the top of De Haan to come down in to Brussegem, as small town that is noted for the neatly trimmed bushes [Oh-er Pebbledash! – Ed] that line the backstreets the Pack would run through.
Beyond this there would be a little bit of a problem with one local business, since the planned route had been dug up & was now unusable form the earlier Reece in October 2013, the Trail had to cut through the large tarmac area set out with cones for motorcycle rider instruction. The owner was very vocal as a hundred plus Hashers run through to the small gate on the opposite side.
The Trail turned southward at Velocity Sports Centre, after this it would take to a farm track that was made up of large rectangular concrete slabs – each one numbered & it was soon noticed that the Hash was running these down toward zero, Pebbledash would have been proud of Mr X as he placed flour in to the figures on one slab to let the Hash know that they were running across slab No.69!
The Trail would turn by an old farm building, of the style that is walled like the one at the Battle of Waterloo. This one looked as if too had been in a battle as part of the verge was littered with heavy, red clay roof tiles that you wouldn’t want to fall on you.
P-Rick would be the only one over the two days to go off on the wrong Trail at this point, which surprised Mr X as the Beer stop could be heard & seen on the approach to the Farm house, this resulted in a trip to the Circle for him!
As the Trail passed out toward its furthest point out, at the CHK where the two shorter options would leave the Trail, the Hash could look over to the southwest where the large shiny Balls [Whoa there Pebbledash! – Ed] Atomium could be seen glistening away in the distance. Only a few days before the annual zip-wire from the top took place, where the Belgian Army stage the decent from the top of one of the huge metal balls!
On the first day the Beer Stop worked well, even Junior & Windsock managed to stagger the ¼ of a mile on the road straight up from the village to this refreshment area at a small picnic area. However on the second day’s route around the Trail there would be a problem with the Beer-Truck!
The Saturday Circle saw the Perth Harriettes make a fuss over Smartarse as they got him out for a Down-down [Perhaps they thought he was Paul McCartney? (It’s a running joke!) – Ed] Then we had an excellent rendition of Monday is a Hashing Day to entertain the Circle.
On both days in the Circle, the Full Moon Hierarchy & Hares would all be lined up for a special Down-Down, a Dark Ale [for a change it wasn’t Guinness! – Ed] in to which a raw egg was placed, the yolk representing the Full Moon in the black night sky with the white of the head [Who said Head? – Ed] as the clouds! It was like the Good old Days, before Edwina Curry & the ‘Salmonella Egg’ scandal put a stop to this Full Moon Tradition, things have changed as eggs are now pasteurized!
Junior’s Down-Down was very memorable, since he doesn’t like eggs & Crystal Balls had heard the story of Junior & Norfolk Hashes ‘Sprout Pie’ out on the Isle of Wight many Moons ago! So, Juniors Down-Down had several sprouts, ‘procured’ from the local area, placed in his Down-Down, surprisingly Junior actually enjoyed eating the Raw Sprouts!
P-Rick was among the special guests, being the Vectis Luntic Full Moon GM, & he hadn’t spotted the raw egg in his drink until it was almost too late, he couldn’t hack that & rapidly swapped it for something else.
There was plenty of Ice for each Circle & by Sunday Smartarse & Mr X would have their bare butts on it the longest & for the most number of times, all because of spurious trumped-up charges from some nasty big bullies!
Smartarse collected Hash Names from the bus manifesto (sign on/off sheet) on both days, he made up one long set of charges in the Circle that were weaved in to a story that linked all of these names in to the tale, culminating in the mass Down-Down. It was very popular with those still standing around in the Circle & not in the centre!
Panda was out when he was presented with a dark blue Panda, since he collects these normally black & white animals, he was back again in the Circle as a part of the Full Moon hierarchy. On Sunday he would be out again in the Circle so read on…..
On Sunday Wha de Say had pulled his Achilles, so on Sunday he was given the job to help Panda (Our Beermaster for the weekend) & jumped in to the Beer-truck, everything was fine getting the Drinks & Ice to the village, things didn’t go so well after the Pack had set off. The Hare’s would receive a call from Panda to explain that the driver had jammed the keys in the ignition & the Truck was going nowhere!
Wha de Say & Panda tried to remedy the situation, they contacted Hash Base to find out from the Transport Manager what the phone number of the Truck Rental Company was. With one on the phone, the other was busy writing down the number, in doing so they realized that the series of numbers being read out to on them on the phone exactly matched the 60 cm High phone number on the side of the Beer-Truck they were standing beside! That was a Down-Down for Sunday’s Circle!
There was no alternative options to get the drinks to the picnic spot in such a short time, so when the Pack reached this point, Mr X advised those to think seriously about how far to go from this point, since there was no water & the weather was again, hot & sultry.
The Hares had no issued with the majority taking the ¼ Mile option straight back from the Beer Stop to make it a 3¼ Mile Trail, most took advantage of this short cut after the late night partying on Saturday night.
There were others who did the extra mile, two miles & 3 miles, with Smartarse & Crystal Balls sweeping the longest leg. Unfortunately for Mr Arse, he would come a cropper right near the very last part of the Trail, on the last trip [A deliberate play on words! – Ed] around he would enter the Hash Hall of Injury with cuts, bruises & a nasty looking swollen big toe!
On Sunday the Landlord & Landlady of the Sold a few cases of the Local Kreik & Framboise on the Sunday, as the Bus left early in order not to spend 40 minutes sitting in a Brussels Car Park in the stifling heat, where there was a Pub that was open & a nice village green to sit out on! Others enjoyed a coffee before the Trail started.
Of course, the extra drinking before the Trail started would slow some up & many would take the short cuts when they were offered up.
At the end of the Trail Hash Food was had out on the Green, where some, like the Hares, who decided to have something a bit more special than the Hash Beer enjoyed the hospitality of the Wit Paard.
The Full Moon Trail was honored when the large white Bus of ‘Hash Force One’ arrived on Sunday where the Hierarchy, this would mean the presence of Higgins, Rumple Foreskin, Yark Sucker & others of the Hierarchy who were very liberal in dishing out Belgium’s finest Jenever. They too would award the Full Moon Hares several Down-Downs!
On the Friday laying of the Trail, the Hares were told by the Owners of the Wit Paard about 180 Vintage Tractors going through the village on Sunday, though some doubted what they heard. But it came to pass that 180 vintage tractors would the green where the Circle took place, it was a sight to behold [If you’re a geeky male! – Ed]
This got the attention of the likes of Dead Animal & Kylie, who broke from the circle to take pictures of the passing Tractors that included such makes as Lamborghini [They started life as manufacturers of Tractors! – Ed] Porsche.
Panda, Wha de Say, Dead Animal & others would hand out cold cans of Hash Beer to the passing Tractor driver’s & passengers, some of these units pulled trailers, wagons & even old fashioned caravans. Tractor horns were sounded as the bright, colorful & noisy cavalcade chugged on by.
Kylie returned to the make shift Bar to assist with the Down-Downs for the Circles, well there were too many Down-Downs to recall, since there were several RA’s taking it in turn to meter-out the punishments! Including Mr X, Smartarse & Testicualtor.
Back to the Circle & it was a repeat of the previous day for the Hares [Usual Suspects! – Ed] XYZ wasn’t one of them as he became one of Mr X’s victims as he was awarded his hit for being caught trying to smuggle a couple of wiener sausages out of the breakfast bar & the girl on the counter sent him back to eat them!
The Brussels 2014 Hierarchy were soon in the circle for their hits, awarded for organizing a splendid weekend!
Cooperman was struck by the More Subite Fruit Beers, so much so that he bought some & a couple of the glasses to go with the Drinks, he gave Mr X one of the Morte Subite Glasses, which Mr X managed to get home with a host of other stuff he had accrued.
Even the Gauze wasn’t that bad, Mr X sampled some of ShitheadsOne last story………Junior on the Eurostar back home, would disgrace himself, falling asleep with his mouth wide-open, a small square of chocolate was placed on his tongue, this would melt & dribble down his chin. [Fortunately it wasn’t White Chocolate, eh Pebbledash? – Ed]