Date = 24th August 2014
Run Number = 1574
Venue = Chez Paxo
Beer = St Peter’s Organic
Hares = Ewok
Runners = 12
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 12
Membership = A Spunky old Barbeque!
As Robbie Burns said “Of the best laid schemes o' mice an' men, gang aft agley!” So, with only 14 turning out, the Dog Racing was out off to another time. The Trail was up against it being holiday time & the fact that there was a Music Festival happening down in Hertford that day.
The day's Trail was set by Ewok, with a slight hint of some assistance from Paxo & Backpack, but Paxo was remaining behind to take care of the Barbeque, while the Pack were out.
Even before the Circle was called, Mr X questioned what Paxo had splashed over one set of the barbecue's coals? The white jelly like liquid soon had Pebbledash being at her superlative best when it comes to pure smut & innuendo. Having pride on our cleanliness, this Trash will not sink to the depths of mentioning flammable semen, oral sex & the dangers of smoking!
Tent Packer conducted the honours of introducing the Pack to the later start of Noon, though both Tent Packer & Sparky were at Joint Monkey's gaff well before that, having not looked at the delayed start time! Sparky was at Chez Paxo's before eleven!
Anyhow, when Ewok was called forward to explain what the Pack could expect out on the Trail, there wasn't much that differed from the norm. The bit that did get the Pack's attention was the last part about having a sweetie stop.
Without further ado, the Hash were ushered away down Parnel road to the junction where it joins Cromwell road, arrows directed the Pack up to the north end of the street where it becomes Tower road. Ewok was slightly concerned about the fact just her & the RA seemed to be on the way up to Elder road.
Sludge, Tent Packer & My Lil' were out of Ewok's view as they had already run off down Ware By-way 52, a hedged-in footpath out to Fanhams Hall lane. No Eye Deer & Paul then came past Ewok, while the rest seemed a little sluggish to get going at the rear of the Pack.
Mrs Mallet was only going to the first CHK, before returning to base & sort out things with Paxo. Flanders & 2-1-2 Maureen would be left to bring up the rear of the Pack.
The RA passed by No Eye Deer & Paul just before the footpath emerged out on to the Fanhams Hall lane, using his local knowledge he took a left to head a short way westward along the rural lane, before taking to the footpath of Ware By-way 52 which runs down by the ditch separating two of the harrowed crop fields to the north of Ware, as soon as he turned in through the gap in the hedge at the top end of the field, Mr X could now see the other Keenies on their way at the opposite north end in the bottom of the shallow valley.
Sparky caught up with Mr X as he reached the lower end of the harrowed fields & followed on behind the others who had turned northeastward beside the freshly cleared drainage ditch. Sparky questioned if this was the correct direction, the RA reassured him as he had seen the others go this way but once again they were out of sight with their progress hidden by more hedgerows.
Sparky & Mr X turned northwestward to follow on behind the others on the gentle climb up toward Mole's Farm, but as they embarked on this footpath up toward the distinctive water tower, they suddenly were stopped by the sight of My Lil' turning around way ahead of them on a long, long way up to a Bar CHK!
The long Falsie meant that No Eye Deer & Paul were now going to be the FRBs as they took to the footpath the runs just a fraction off of due east. On the way over to the strip of woodland acting as a windbreak between two of the larger fields, they had to pass by a family out for a Sunday stroll.
Mr X & Sparky soon made up ground on Paul & then No Eye Deer, who commented on what a nice day it was & how good the view was as she correctly got her bearing from the RA!
Sparky & then the RA were first to reach the wooded strip, where they followed the Dust on the outside of the southern edge of the tree line. Mr X pointed out that there was a path within the wood, but it doesn't seem to get used as much as the outer one.
Three quarters of the way to the opposite end of the wood & a CHK was found. Mr X went on the path in amongst the trees & was soon out on the large open field to the north, he managed to drag Sparky, Tent Packer & Sludge off on the Thunderidge By-way 19, unfortunately for all of them it was a Falsie!
It was a long trudge back to the wood, then on to the correct option to be confined to the path just a few degrees off of due east, the Hash were now back out in the open as they made their way over the harvested crop fields to reach a Held CHK at the junction where the northerly Thunderidge By-way 16 joins the easterly route.
The Pack were treated to the first of two sweets stops, the conversation soon became one of nostalgia as No Eye Deer commented on how sweets used to be bigger when you were children!
Paul on the other hand came out with something so shocking, that No Eye Deer quickly distanced herself from it, when he suggested that in a drive for new members that "Perhaps, we should drop the drinking bit of the Hash!" dark clouds began to gather overhead as some of the Hierarchy reeled backwards in a stunned silence!
When Pebbledash, Flanders, 2-1-2 Maureen & TBT OBE arrived at the CHK & had some sweets, the search resumed with My Lil' with Tent Packer & Sludge all choosing to take to By-way 16 toward Thunderidge, Mr X was not a convinced after he was caught out earlier heading over to Thunderidge.
Mr X continued off over to the northeast over Ashridge Common, No Eye Deer & Sparky joined him on this route, even when "On!" was heard coming from the north! Mr X's perseverance paid off, even when a few doubted it, especially after they looked back to Ewok who was still on the CHK not giving the game away until My Lil' & Co had found the Falsie!
The Dust reached a crossroads in the farm track the footpath had been following, Dust took the Pack on to the one heading southeastward, before a slight kink in it route led due south to Fanhams Hall lane once again.
A large patch of white dust on the harrowed soil to the left, had Sparky wondering if it was supposed to be a huge CHK? It could have just been chalk, or even lime, but it certainly wasn't flour as they came up near to the delightfully named Noah's Ark.
The real CHK, was found a yards from Sparky's phantom one, right beside the lane. Sparky went off away down the lane to the east, while Mr X struggled with clambering over the furrows of rock-hard soil in the ploughed field to the south. The going was too hard, it got harder further in to the field to such an extent that the RA gave up! He struggled back to find No Eye Deer had found the Trail on the lane to Fanhams Hall & back toward Ware.
Tent Packer soon followed on as No Eye Deer called "On!" As she led the way by Home Farm. Now there was a little bit of tarmac road to do, on the way Ewok explained that the Harcamlow way route that Mr X had attempted to cross, was the way the Trail was going to go. But the terrain proved just as difficult for the Hare & so losses were cut in favour of the road down to the next footpath over the fields northeast of Ware.
Tent Packer suddenly stopped & bent down in front of the RA, all to forage some roadside mushrooms. Some wondered if he had been on any courses like Spotted Dick, or was it a case mushroom Russian roulette? The RA pointed out the two marrows left in the farm produce box by the entrance to the Home Farm at the side of the lane, the GM didn't seem very impressed.
The GM told the RA that he has an allotment, which contains a couple of marrows, some small courgettes, some bindweed & a few raspberries! [No wonder the poor GM was foraging along the verge! – Ed]
No Eye Deer was soon on to the footpath, as it cuts diagonally away from the w to drop down in to the valley. It was a long trot down the farm Track to a point where it meets the Harcamlow way in the floor of the valley, over one of the Fanhams tributaries it was only a matter of yards on the Harcamlow path to the southwest & the second Held CHK was found by the corner of a Wood.
More sweets were enjoyed as the FFBs all gathered with the Hare. The SCBs seemed to be taking their time appearing on the top of the ridge before the descent into the valley. As time went by, Sludge suggested that perhaps Flanders, 2-1-2 Maureen had been lured astray on a Short Cut by TBT OBE by carrying on among the lane by Fanhams Hall & back in to Ware?
Enough time was spent to make sure that this was the case, to entertain themselves the Keenies discussing the GM's mushrooms. The final word went to the RA, who said that he would be interested in reading the toxicology reports on Tuesday! [No faith there then? - Ed]
With no one else heading this way, the Hare offered up a Short Cut & also pointed out the longer Trail, with the time having passed by one o’clock everyone seemed to agree with Mr X, who said that breakfast now seemed a long time ago!
So, all the Keenies now took to the short cut, with the Hare, as they passed through the Ts on the path in the lower enclosed field, following My Lil' on a westerly trot to a narrow wooden footbridge in the hedge at the opposite corner.
The Trail stuck with the edge of the next field as it came up to a point in the next hedgerow, where a CHK was found. Mr X went down in to the ditch within the hedgerow & up, out to the edge of a field of stubble. The RA decided to search this next field as in the corner, to the northwest, is a gap out in to Ware.
The route around the perimeter turned out to be a Falsie, but as Mr X & My Lil' had gone too far up this dog-turd laden path, they weren't going to cut back across the stubble like Sludge, Tent Packer & Sparky in getting back to the last part of the Trail, as it joins the path from Grove wood & back into Ware, coming in by the playground.
My Lil' made his excuses for his short cut, mainly stating that there was no T to stop those now Short Cutting, plus as a back-up he was ready with the fact he & Mr X had passed the On Inn! [Sounds like something Sludge would say! - Ed]
The rest would be another five minutes or so behind the two short cutters, who had just come Inn a matter of seconds behind TBT OBE & the Harriettes he was chaperoning back Inn.
The barbeque was going well, but Paxo was a little neglectful with the snacks & dips, leaving then to Ewok when she returned!
The galloping gourmet, Paxo, sorted out the veggies first while the meat cooked. Everyone had plenty of grub & the weather held off, the Smoked Chili dip was particularly popular! The RA was shocked that there were those who refused to eat the gluten free olives! Was it My Lil’s ‘On the buses’ impersonation of “Oh ‘Arfur!” when he was offered an olive that put them off.
The RA finally got around to the Down-Downs, but with Sparky having eaten up & left for other pastures, the Hashit would have to go somewhere else.
The Hare was rewarded for setting a very good Trail that caught out some of the usual suspects! No Eye Deer & Paul were out for taking the Proclaimers quite literally by travelling a 1,000 miles in Scotland, before they need a passport!
The Hashit went to Tent Packer for his overly early arrival, which included picking up the RA & Hare Raiser along the way!
The RA Hare Raiser managed to get down to catch some of the musical mystery trail in Hertford, but in doing so missed the last bus home!