Date =                            13-14th September 2014

Run Number =            1577

Venue =                        Fen Farm, Railway Tavern, Kings Head, Pig & Whistle PH

Location=                     Mersea Island, Brightlingsea, Essex

Beer =                           Various at various establishments

Hares =                         Fliptop

Runners =                    18

Virgins =                       0

Visitors =                      0                                        

Après Hashers =        0

Newies =                       0

Hounds =                      2

Total =                          20

Membership =             Awash but with sunshine!


Many thanks to Sloppy & Fliptop for the words.


There were a couple of the usual suspects missing for this weekend away, notably the Hare Raiser & the RA. After being warned by No Eye Deer that Fen Farm were no Longer taking any new bookings, due to Fliptop parking a loose vindaloo & one of the shower/toilet blocks being put out of order!

These two absentees looked for an alternative spot at Coopers, but had no joy there with camping.  The next nearest was roughly two and a half miles away from Fen Farm, not a prospect for staggering about in the dark wee hours to get to sleep!

Sparky, & George, had offered up space in his large Tent, the type that was used at the relief of Mafeking, but this came a bit too late as other plans had fallen in to place by then.  Thus the Curate was give free reign with the Circle, or so he thought!

High tides they certainly were but bringing with them relatively warm nights and sunny days.  This was the Curate’s first Herts camp out or should I say glamp out as one by one, Hasher’s queued up to offer him upgraded accommodation.

By 8’ish Friday evening the camp had corralled itself – whilst by this time some car headlights were needed and nothing collapsed overnight – so a job well done.  Food drink and some merriment followed before settling in for the night around 11.30 pm.

On the day of the run, those camping were joined by Sludge, No Eye Deer and TBT who had driven up for the day and Sparky who was doing a Saturday night only camp out. At about 10.20 the circle gathered. The hare informed us that we were booked !!!!!!!!!!! on the 11.15am ferry and to keep a reasonable walking pace so as not to miss it.

The trail took the pack out through the Fen Farm campsite in a north westerly direction towards East road. Sludge, Sparky and TBT were first to arrive at the roadside check and indeed any others.  Sparky set off to the West of East road in the wrong direction, whilst Sludge and Sloppy knowing the direction of the ferry chose correctly and headed East on east road.

Nobody went to the North or South of East road, but then we had come from the South East of East road so the only other option would have been to go North of East road (are you still with me? – doesn’t matter if you’re not as it took a few more lines up).

A further check was found along East Road.  From this Sludge and the Curate headed off on Shop Lane to be re-joined eventually by Sparky, who very shortly thereafter disappeared off again in a westerly direction.  For some reason he seemed hell bent on heading to the causeway rather than the ferry (maybe a lack of funds?).

After maybe a ¼ mile on the road, the trail turned right through a gap in the hedge and across a ploughed field. From the far side of this field Sludge and Sloppy Seconds could look back and see the walkers en route but no Sparky.

It was sometime before he was seen again.  Passing by a hawthorn hedgerow the trail looped back round to East Road.  Following the road it passed by the Colchester Oyster Fishery and a couple of houses by Ivy Lane, eventually leading onto the meadow from which the river could be seen.  A short distance across the meadow, the trail climbed the dyke [Whoa there Pebbledash! –Ed] type embankment built to save the fields from flooding.  This led to the ‘beach’ and the crossing point for the Brightlingsea ferry.

It took a couple of ferry trips to get the pack across.  Most then headed towards the town centre by way of the Railway Tavern and Kings Head before having a fish and chip lunch.  Time was then free to wander at will before re-joining the ferry (which happened in dribs and drabs) from Brightlingsea to Mersea.

Arriving back on the island, alternative trails to Fen farm offered either the coastal path (at high tide) or the country park.  Prior to which I understand TBT when leaving the ferry was last seen diving below the waves in his ‘speedo’s [‘Budgie Smugglers’ or Dead Parrots? – Ed] Photos are available from Ketchup.  [One for the Website Gallery? – Ed]


Flip top – for a fine trail

Sis – for co-hosting with Fliptop

Jaron, Two times, Puddles, Spillage, Daddy’s sauce and Six pack – for not being so horrible

Ewok – for taking Sparky’s horn [Whay-Hey! Pebbledash! – Ed]

Ketchup – for bringing everything but the kitchen sink or should that be food. (Ketchup even West Mersea is some distance or rather time from East Mersea by road).

And in order of appearance:-

No Eye Deer, Paxo, TBT, Sparky, Paxo and Pebbledash (to this list you could add Flip Top and Sis) – ‘the helpers’ for their unerring determination to ensure the Curate would have a good night’s sleep.

This could otherwise be read as – No Eye Deer was going to sleep with Sloppy but then changed her mind; suggesting Paxo.  Paxo initially wasn’t going to sleep with Sloppy and suggested TBT.  TBT was daytime only and therefore couldn’t sleep with Sloppy; suggesting Sparky.

Sparky & George were happy to sleep with Sloppy but could only do so on Saturday night.  Back to Paxo who then seemed quite keen to sleep with Sloppy.  However that was dashed when Sloppy upgraded to Flip Top and Sis.  Pebbledash was never going to sleep with Sloppy but did provide some comfortable ground mats.

Such offers of help were  not forthcoming from Sludge who aspiring to be the only one not to have a Down -Down then dobbed the Curate in for forgetting the hash sh*t again.  Flip Top administered the Curate’s Down-Down and presented him with a squeaky dog toy.......which reminds me- finally……….I would like to thank Lucy for eventually agreeing to sleep with me and behaving herself.


Mersea Island

Sunday 1578

Hashers 7

Horrors 7 (some now old enough to be Hashers but not drink yet - officially)

Hash Hounds 1

Membership - Decidedly Decimated


A depleted pack following the departure of the day visitors from Saturday awoke bleary eyed to view the devastation from the night before's revelries.  As they wandered round aimlessly (supposed to be clearing up) Fliptop announced a gentle trail would start at 11:00.

Sis, meanwhile, was trying to force cold sausages on everyone - me thinks “must control the amount put on the BBQ when a bit tiddly to avoid sausage saturation!”

After much tiding, the circle was called and the "Hare" (Fliptop) gave details of a simple trail which the pack could take at their leisure and observe all that nature had to offer plus views across the briny. (Shame the tide was out!)

Fliptop also warned that if they saw a big flash then they should bend down, put their heads between their knees and kiss their arse goodbye as it would be the nuclear power station at Bradwell over the other side of the river Blackwater exploding!! [That’s it, give the kids nuclear nightmares! – Ed]

So, it was down to the path down to the beach (stopping at the bogs on the way).  At the sea it was turn left along the front towards West Mersea. The trail went along past the better static caravans which have great sea views on the Coopers Beach Caravan Park - very nice, but a little too close to the water's edge for me.

After another caravan-lined quarter mile we were at Coopers Beach entertainment centre.  The caravans look great, but this place is no advert for prospective holiday makers with ankle deep fag ends round the door disgustingly dirty toilets and surly staff. 

The pack decided that they needed a coffee before proceeding on the trail. 

When they had finished their drink the hare gave them the option of returning whence they came along the front or following him on the trail which proceeded up the lane from Coopers past East Mersea Hall and church.  The trail then went round the field and along the road to emerge by the Dog and Pheasant.

As everyone had to either drive or do their homework it was decided not to stop for a drink.  So turn right and the final 100 yards back to camp for more packing up etc.


On On 




Below, Text Message sent to the RA after the Trail from the Gate!


“Info. Full Moon 0239 2day says Portsmouth tide tables, Sat Nav, Radio sig. clock, Diary + Calendar not 7th as wild haired FUKFMH3er ? tried to  con me. Next F M 8 Oct not 10th, but good 2 c “Near FUKFMH3ers + Essex + Cams On On Sparky”