Date = 12th October 2014
Run Number = 1582
Venue = The Black Horse
Beer = Youngs; Adnams, Charlie Wells
Hares = Mr X
Runners = 14
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 18 London H3
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 32
Membership = In two Stages!
On the way over with TBT OBE acting a Chauffeur, Ewok mentioned the last time H4 ran from Chorleywood will always be remembered as when Psycho was awarded the Hashit & flashed the diners in the Rose & Crown after she turned her back on the Pack, but more of that later!
With this being a joint Run the day's Hare knew that there would be some of LH3 who would not read their weekly email & see that it was a Noon start, warning "Herts start on time!" [Don't worry LH3, H4's regulars don't always read their equivalent emails either! - Ed]
With the late start to the normal Herts 11:00 hrs, the temptation to have a quick one before setting off was too much, especially for the Hare who claimed he need 'Hair of the Dog' after an afternoon on the cider at the Saracens game the day before! But holding a half in his hand, left Mr X thinking that his hands had swollen up overnight due to the alcohol, turns out nothing was wrong as Paxo had just bought halves!
TBT OBE was careful here, as a drink before the Trail may result in him toppling over, something he has managed to avoid doing for a few weeks now!
With Mic-Mac arriving on his own just after Noon, having alighted from the Tube & walked across a corner of Chorleywood common to reach the Black Horse, he confirmed no one else was on the Tube with him. No one expected Last Tango to be there in time.
At 10 minutes past the hour, the honours were conducted with the Pack being introduced to the Herts R*n No.1582 & London's 2,203 respectively! Then the Hare was introduced, prompting Spare Rib to get in "I hope it’s better than Friday's Full Moon?"
Mr X explained that the Full Moon going slightly awry at one point, was due to the effects of the liquid painkillers he had to take after Windsock had put the leg of the stool he sitting on straight on to Mr X's foot! Excuses out of the way & it was on to the Trail markings for the day.
With this being a Joint Run, neither Herts nor London realised that Gorilla [or was it Guerrilla? - Ed] from (Galway) via a Korean Hash was a Newie to both Hashes, each presuming that she was with the other & so she was not presented to the Circle, this would be amended by the end of the day!
With bags stowed in the Pub barn, the Hare warned of roads to be crossed, there would be a Held CHK (A re-group), there could be cattle roaming on parts of the Trail & Short Cuts were available, then the Pack were ushered away across from the Pub to go over Dog Kennel lane & up the grassy embankment to the east of the Black Horse.
While the Pack climbed up the slope to a remnants of Home wood between the exclusive homes upon the top, no one seemed to notice that the Hare was now wandering down Dog Kennel lane to the South, eventually the Pack would find that they were on a semi-circular trot up the wooded bank & back down to the row of cottages on Dog Kennel lane, though Sparky seemed interested in something off in the undergrowth halfway down. [Probably some junk he was going to salvage? – Ed]
The Hare was found there with a fresh arrow marked on the tarmac. The Trail made its way a short way down the narrow rustic lane to find the first CHK by the entrance to South Cottage Road. Many seemed reluctant to go up what appeared to be a dead end estate, many of the others didn't want to leave the comfort of the CHK! The homes here were pretty new, not those that would have been mentioned as ‘Essential Metro-land’ in Sir John Betjeman’s 1974 Metro-land.
Eventually the Trail was picked up through the small housing estate to the east, where it then dropped down slightly as the road turned a bend to the right & come on to an older lane through a small wooded area. Again it was noticed that the majority were reluctant to search for Trail!
Sparky was among the few who took to go away from the main Berry road, they would pick up the Trail by the nice, large & fairly new looking homes in the wood. By the end of the latest development, the Trail took to a path up to a footbridge spanning the wide M25 below. Obviously not much of any calling could be heard at this point in the Trail.
Once over the busy & noisy traffic below, a CHK was found on the path running from south to north in the edge of Round Spring wood. The southbound path split in to two a little further down but each was marked with a T! Frankie was one who fell for these Falsies.
The Trail was picked up along the fenced-in northward part of the path, along the way it was noticed that there were small piles of rubbish on the side of the path, which the local Wombles had retrieved from amongst the pines & bushes on the way out to Chestnut Avenue.
Out on to a residential street & directly across the Pack were presented with a wooden gate to a 'Gated Road' of Park Avenue, most weren't sure if to search beyond the wooden panel to one side, but those who did would be rewarded by finding the Trail.
It was a peasant trot along the frontage of some really big & expensive looking detached homes. On the way down to the opposite end of the gated road, most agreed that as nice as these homes were, the constant roar of the traffic would be off-putting.
The Pack exited on to the Chorleywood road, by way of a side gate in the main black wrought-iron automatic gates to the road, arrows directed the Hash over to the North side of the road by Junction 18 on the M25, then away from the motorway to head eastward along by the walled off Trout Stream Hall & more large detached properties hidden behind.
A trot along the busy Chorleywood road led up to a CHK point under the sign for the exclusive estate of Kingfisher Lure. Sparky went wrong as he continued along the main road to the east, while Ryde went awry with other of LH3 by taking to the footpath off through the fenced in route to the northeast.
As the Pack gathered at this CHK on Kingfisher Lure, a small amount of traffic built up by the junction on the Rickmansworth side of the motorway, the drivers of the Chelsea Tractors looked puzzled at the Pack gathered by the roadside. [Chelsea tractors seem to be the preferred mode of transport around these parts! - Ed!]
Someone did eventually head down by the open white gates to what appears to be a private road, at the bottom of the short decent to the northwest a footpath sign pointed the way off by a closed five-bar gate. Once through the side gate the Pack were ‘On’ as the track led out to an open field below Little Lady’s wood in the Chess Valley, the Dust would soon take to a long path over a plain grass field to run by the back of the paddocks to a set of stables.
Those Londoners who could get up in time were soon through this part by the paddocks where the route is slightly infringed with nettles, of course the Herts RA had reassured everyone that they don't sting this time of year.
By the time the Hare was following on at this point, Knickers was on her way out from the CHK around by the north side of the equines enclosures & buildings, as she ran out on the south-eastward drive she noticed that Paxo & My Lil' had been stopped by the Hare from cutting across toward her, all of which indicated that she was on the wrong track! As Paxo & My Lil' turned the corner, the Hare said "I wish I had let you cut down to the Falsie back there!"
The Pack were now back alongside the M25 as they took to a path enclosed by a fence beside the towering embankment of the motorway to the left & high panel-fencing to the right, behind which is Solebridge Mill Watergarden, the former home to a Garden & Tropical Aquatic centre that is now shut. So, along this stretch there was little to see until the Trail came out on to the entrance & turned up to a Held CHK by the edge of the verge on the Solebridge road.
When Mr X approached the group already waiting at the Held CHK, the little cogs in Lemmings mind were whirring a fair old rate of knots as he looked at the large muddy puddle & then the approaching Herts RA, putting two & two together resulted in a deft swish of his foot to send a large spray of brackish water over Mr X & a lot of the London Crowd, from the LH3 crew who were splashed there were a few screams!
Lemming later confessed that he has been known to upset some of the Royal Berks Hash for splashing a bit of Shiggy around [Could be worse, could be his Brut aftershave! – Ed] & even Mother has stood up to defend him by stating “It’s the Hash!”
As Mr X walked away from the puddle to clean part of his face, Mr X looked down to spot £1.15 in change laying on the driveway. He ignore the calls from those who claimed it to be theirs!
Anyhow, with Psycho, Skip, Party Animal all following on behind Fliptop & Lucy, the Hare allowed the rest to start searching once again. The obvious choice was to head off to the southwest on the Solebridge bridge crossing over the M25 once again.
The Pack crossed to the north side of the road as it comes in to very northerly tip of the more densely habited part of Chorleywood. Just by the entrance to a driveway in the high brick wall along the roadside, the next CHK was found. It didn’t take long before the Trail was found once again, now the Pack headed northward on the Chess Valley walk in to the grounds of Chorelywood House.
The Keenies were soon off of the tarmac ‘Private road’ & over the green space to the left, where they saw what they thought was Dust on the remains of a cast iron post on a footpath to the west. This would be a Falsie Trail as the Dust that had seen earlier was all that was left of a CHK that was place around the ring of iron, seems that some numpties had been about & kicked the CHK out.
Once the FRBs were back & on track a bit further north, the Hare marked this Falsie as a Short Cut for Fliptop, Skip & Party Animal who were among the few who took up the offer. Psycho, on the other hand, wanted to do the whole Trail & she was directed back to the tarmac path & down to the CHK where the Trail turned south-westward on another part of the Chess Valley Walk.
Those like Tablewhine, Skylark, Scrumpy on the loop would climb up the wooded bank, it was a rather pleasant trot within the wood but things would go a little wrong for a while as the Pack now seem to falter at finding the Trail from the only CHK on that leg. The Hare had missed out this loop as he was on the Short Cut, where he could see that one of the two T’s down there had been covered with leaves.
After running about like ‘headless chickens’ for a while, the Keenies eventually picked up that the Trail was not on the major paths, but hidden to one side on the ‘Wood walk’ that goes southward down amongst the trees of Dell wood, at the other end of which it would pick up where the Short Cut joins the main trail out to the west.
With all of the dithering from the Keenies, those late arriving Londoners, like Thunderthighs, managed to catch up with the main Pack around this point, though they looked a bit hot & bothered having not stopped running through the marked CHKs, of course some were not happy about the early start.
A slight rise again in the terrain as the Pack came up to the View Stop the Hare had mentioned earlier at the ‘Chalk Talk’, looking down between the trees & bushes a pond could be seen, & around this were lots of carved tree trunks of various lengths.
Most were impressed by the butterflies on the side of the trunk where branches used to be, others liked the large rabbits & squirrels, but things suddenly went quiet as Missing Person said “Is that a Helicopter?” while looking down at the tallest trunk with a five foot wide Dragonfly carved upon it! All of which was in earshot of both RAs!
The SCBs had been led up through to the car park by the Hare, where the next CHK should have been. It was reinstated & the SCBs made their way down the drive to the south, first by the tennis club to the west & then on by the cemetery to the east before coming out of the grounds of Chorleywood House.
With the SCBs sorted, Mr X went back to see if the FRBs needed rescuing, as he retraced his steps down to the joining of the paths in Dell wood, Ewok came running up to him & he was informed that the others were on their way. The rest would follow on.
Psycho was the last of the first batch of runners to come through, so the Hare made sure she was escorted her out to the Rickmansworth road. On the way she just happened to mention Mr X about the last time Herts were running on Chorleywood common & when she was awarded the Herts Hashit!
A CHK was found by the whitewashed gatehouse to the Parkland, here the last CHK was found. The final leg of the Trail was to head over the common, by the cricket pitch originally founded by the MCC’s first Secretary in the 19th Century & still in use today.
The Pack headed toward the back of the Church School. As for the Church itself, the original Christchurch became dilapidated & it was demolished, with the exception of the tower, the rest of the building being rebuilt to a design by Street. The new church was consecrated in December 1870, it has an unusual cedar wood spire on the flint built west tower.
The Trail led up the 15 foot wide Horse Track, this was introduced to prevent horse riders from continually damaging the common as had happened in the past, the serpentine like path would weave between the bushes & trees on its eastbound meandering back over the area the Saxons called 'Cerola Leah', meaning a meadow in a clearing from which we get the Chorley part of the name.
Trail then dropped down the grassy bank to the On Inn. The weather was slightly
overcast & a little chilly, but good enough for the Pack to sit outside the
Pub. TBT OBE & Last Tango collected the Subs, with Last Tango using a tablet &
TBT OBE using
chalk & slate, pen & paper!
Meanwhile amongst the gossip, Lemming told Frankie about how he has upset Royal Berks with splashing Shiggy out of puddles, he then really went on to sell her running with Berkshire when he said he did a short Trail of Five & a half miles & the Pack moaned because it was too short!
The Final Circle was called & the Down-Downs kicked off with Spare Rib presenting Mr X with a Pint for being the day’s Hare, the accompanying spiel from Spare Rib made it look like Mr X only ever sets Trails when he’s pissed! If he’s ever sober! [Cheek! – I resemble that remark! – Ed]
A few of the other Down-Downs (in no particular order) Last Tango was out, something to do with being the New London H3 GM; Missing person was out for her remark about the carved dragonfly being a helicopter!
Sloppy Seconds was out for driving home the week before while wearing his Champions Conker hat' so he could experience the breeze on his conkers! Ewok was out for pulling faces, it looked like she was gurning on hearing the lyrics to the Down-Down Songs!
Guerrilla (or Gorilla) was out for her first Herts/London Hash Runs!
Sparky began stripping off his top, as Mr X turned his attention to the Hashit, but he soon had other ideas as the Herts RA went on to say that the recipient of this was being awarded it for bring back a few memories.......
For the last time Herts Ran on Chorleywood Common, Robocop set the Trail. Psycho was awarded the Hashit that day for 'Hero worshiping' the Hare. In order to hide her modesty, she turned her back on the Pack to remove her top & don the Hashit, not realising that the diners in the Pub got a full frontal of her ample charms!
While most managed of the Hashers to get back with everything intact, things did not go so well for Sloppy Seconds. Having left his Hash Shoes to dry on his Fanny Magnet, when he arrived home Sloppy Seconds realised that they were missing! Herts Hierarchy have sent out alert warnings, but concluded that are several possible options....
A) Sloppy Drove off with them on his car & they fell of?
B) A Passing thief thought that they were worth more than is car? [Digger wasn’t there! – Ed]
C) Some old Tramp took them? [Though we doubt that they could be worse than tramp-shoes! – Ed]