Date =                            23rd November 2014

Run Number =            1588

Venue =                        The Moon & Stars

Location=                     Rushden

Beer =                            London Pride; Doom Bar; Adnams

Hares =                          No Eye Deer & Paul

Runners =                    13

Virgins =                       1

Visitors =                      0                                        

Après Hashers =         0

Newies =                       1

Hounds =                      0

Total =                           15

Membership =             One great big water crossing!


The RA seemed to have fallen short on his Duties this week, with the persistent rain taking over night, you couldn't blame those Irregulars' who didn't bother to get out in these conditions.  Even Sludge admitted that he was in two minds about turning out at one point.

Text messages between the 'Senior Hare' & the RA went along the lines that “It’s wet & cold out”, & “It’s nice and a warm in parked cars!” & “Is it is really necessary to go out again?”  Simples answer was “Yes! But don't make it too long!”

Just as the RA relaxed, the next communications came through from Tent Packer, that he was still waiting for Kerry to give him a lift, she was being driven by David (Rainbow) & they also had a Virgin with them, Saif, and that they would be a little late in arriving.

Sloppy Seconds arrived after Sludge, Mr X & My Lil', it was quite a while before Milf &  Kylie, then Ewok & Paxo would be next on the scene.  Sparky & Foxy arrived, as she ran for cover underneath Sloppy Seconds umbrella it soon became obvious that Foxy was not prepared for the weather conditions, & Sparky gave her one of his jackets to wear around the Trail.

Sloppy Seconds then went on to prove that he was no Mary Poppins as he lost control of his holy & leaking parasol as it ended up leaving his hands running down part of the back wing of Sludge’s car!

Talk of the Moroccan kept the minutes of potential Boredom away before it was fine to step out in to the cold, wet day!  Sludge said that Rushden is a lovely village in a very scenic valley setting, which looks better in the summer sunshine, but it isn’t the biggest place in the County.  Boring Fact time: in 1086 Rusden had a populous of 100 recorded in the Doomsday Book, in 2011 it has 201 residents at that census, a fraction over double that of the Norman records!

The Pack began to assemble in the car park & originally agreed that the Pack ought to wait for the Newbies to arrive, Ewok decided that she would go & sit back in her van, as she sat down on the seat, she got a shock as she sat on the stoat sewn on to the Hashit she was wearing & it let out a squeak!  But after ten past the hour the balls had falls off of the proverbial Joint Brass Monkey!

So, the Joint Monkey (Paxo) jumped into the Grand Monkeys shoes to introduce the Pack to the opening Circle, without the Hare being there the Pack were told that No Eye Deer was out there relaying the Trail! It was not expected to see her out there before coming Inn.

An executive decision was made, to get the now cold Pack moving in these cold & wet conditions moving, leaving  Kerry with the Newies of David & Saif in the capable hands of the Herts Grand Monkey!  Without further ado, the Pack obeyed the pre-instructions from the Hare to start on the footpath sign-posted directly opposite the Pub!

Crossing the babbling & pretty high western arm of the river Beane, it was noticeable how it was in full flow after the 24 hours plus of rain.  The Trail left the narrow footbridge to head due East over the wet hilly field below St Mary's Church.

Paxo head off to the North while the rest seemed keen on heading towards the Church itself, but Sludge, Sloppy & Milf came back & began to search on the path further Eastward.

The RA noticed that Ewok had to grab her grab the stoat, so she could run without a pair of conkers hitting her in the Biffin [See Roger Mellie’s Profannysauraus – Ed]

The Trail came out of the enclosed bumpy land, & made its way through the graveyard of St Mary’s then on out via a ‘Kissing Gate’ that Milf waited at for the next victim Hasher to share a kiss with & as it was the RA the Kiss had to be a continental one, one on both cheeks.

Now the Pack were on a path out to east, this stretch had suffered with the overnight rain which resulted in lots of surface water filing every low spot, & those swollen puddles were running in to each other, the accumulative effect of which was a steady stream of cold water to flow down the footpath. 

Dodging the flooded areas soon proved a waste of time, it was best just to wade through. There was little choice at the kissing gate into the wooded reserve as the whole width of the route in front of the exit was under deep water.

Into the wooded reserve, Sloppy Seconds, Sludge & Foxy all went off on the duckboards to the east, Milf & Sparky choose the other direction while My Lil' choose the correct route on the duckboards to the north, running just inside the wood.

Along the way the duckboards ceased & the Trail now led along a slippery Shiggy route that was dotted with narrow slippery wooden bridges over the brooks, once over the bridges the threat of old knurled roots was the next hurdle to take care with.  Many commented that if TBT OBE had been there this day, or he would have come a cropper, fortunately for the Hash TBT OBE was capsizing with his local sailing club!

The Trail left the wood & now took to the edge of a field of winter wheat, of course the way the Trail went meant the rutted tractor tracks would be filled with cold water & the green grassy bits between were sodden, so there was no escape from ending up with prune like feet!

Milf would catch up with the rest & soon passed by to reach Sparky & My Lil’ up near the front of the Hash.  The Trail led along below the southern end of Bachelor's wood, then turned away & moved a few degrees to the north.  Along this stretch Paxo & Ewok would stop in front of the RA & they took some time inspecting at what they believed could be an arrow pointing backwards toward the wood?

The RA said that he thought the markings were not an arrow, but just how the Dust had hit the ground when it was thrown down, meanwhile the rest of the Pack were beyond this & had ventured off through the left-hand hedgerow to take to a hard capped farm track, the CHK there had been quickly dealt with as the FRBs had turned to the Southeast.

The Farm track would turn to one of a narrow tarmac lane when it reached a Y shaped junction of two farm tracks to Bennett’s lane at the bottom of the Y.  There was a CHK there & not too far down to the South another one was located on the small green triangle on the bend on the lane.  Sloppy Seconds & Foxy fell foul of the CHK on the small triangle at the meeting of the lanes.

The Trail would now stay on the tarmac lane for quite a while, as it wound its way around a couple of farms & large detached homes, along the way Foxy decided that she would jump in one of the large puddles & splashed Sloppy Seconds [The Curate with a very long memory & would never hold a grudge until he controls the Circle! – Ed]

With more twists & turns than the plot of an Agatha Christie novel, the lane led out to the West, a CHK was found by the footpath running beside Southern Green Farm house, the Keenies were soon beyond this & back along the lane in to Southern Green.

Foxy tried to get the RA to run along the tarmac, but he had two problems: one of the soles of his Hash trainers had come loose & was flapping about, plus he was also sporting a sore toe from the previous day out in Essex reconnoitering a Trail for the Full Moon Nash Hash for next year.

As the Trail came in to Southern Green more expansive puddles lay ahead.  Foxy decided that she would Splash about in these littering Southern Green, Ewok issued words of wisdom about a time she did such a thing, which resulted in her being picked up by the Hashers she had soaked & unceremoniously dumped in a Ford a bit further along on that Trail!

In the quaint English Hamlet of Southern Green there were a plethora of Footpath options, the first three off between the cottages were found to be Falsies.  With Sludge, Milf & Sparky coming back from each of these respectively as none found any Trail on their chosen path.

Sludge said that he would like to live in Southern Green, the RA was less impressed as there was no Pub, even the mile & a half walk over the fields was too far when it was pointed out!

Then My Lil’ called “On!” up to the T Junction in the hamlet, a Short Cut & Trail markings were found on the road.  Sludge was going to go off with My Lil' & Mr X, who were feeling the effects of the 8 miles of the Full Moon Nash Hash reconnoiter, but he would change his mind & headed back to join Milf, Sloppy Seconds, Foxy, Sparky & Ewok on the longer option.

Paxo opted to take the Short cut as well, which would take them nearly all the way along the Bennett’s lane until reaching small green, with a bright red telephone box standing sentry like on its edge, then it was down to the entrance to St Mary's Church, where the On Inn was found, then it was a case of retracing steps back over the bumpy fallow land enclosed behind the Churchyard! 

For the rest, the Trail would lead further southward toward the large southern homes, this would take to a permissive path to the official footpaths coming around through a small wooded area to the west, all before heading to up the footpaths running behind the paddocks to head northwestward over to Church Farm to the south of Rusden, then via the great named Treacle lane to come Inn.

The RA found No Eye Deer & Paul were found sheltering the car outside the Pub, while the RA tried the door as it was Noon, the door was unlocked, so he left his shoes outside while he went inside to order a few Beers.

Paul told those in the Pub who were there early enough to hear, how he wasn’t wanting to go around again in the rain, but somehow No Eye Deer coerced him in to going out once again on this wet Sunday Morning!

Neither Sloppy Seconds, nor Sludge were hanging around too long today & after a very quick one they were off!  Sloppy had even left before Sparky had finally stopped whatever he was doing in the back of his car & come in to the Pub!  Many changed inside the Pub, as it was still raining outside.  This year the Rushden Village fete included a ‘Sock Commemoration’ not to Celebrate Windsock [Essex H3! – Ed] to honor when the school children of Rushden school 100 years ago, who knitted socks for the troops at the Front!  We all know how good it is to get clean, dry socks on after a Trail & especially this one!

The Newies finally made it in, which meant that the Circle would now take place, the Hash Beer cleared it with the Landlord to hold this inside.  The RA would have preferred it to be outside, but the precipitation was still falling, so he had to contend with a loud local woman chatting away in his ear!

Anyhow, it was a good Trail, set in awful conditions at times, both No Eye Deer & Paul had their rewards.  The Newies of Rainbow & (Virgin Hasher) Saif were called forward & awarded their Down -Downs.  Kylie was out for whipping out his birthday present of a 2015 Kylie Minogue calendar, which when paraded around got a lot of people excited [Ooh YES Pebbledash! –Ed], Kylie Minogue would be well thumbed by the time the Pack left! [Whoa there Pebbledash! –Ed]

The Hashit went to Ewok, for not wearing it the last time after she was awarded it [As the RA said, he doesn’t make up these unwritten rules! – Ed]

Rainbow was expecting Herts to challenge him to do one of three things: Bare a part of his body [Thankfully not! - Ed] Sing a song or tell a joke, but not all Hashes are the same.  It was also noted later on that Rainbow had signed the Herts book & put 60 Runs next to his name, not sure how he sneaked 59 other Trails past the rest of Herts Hash, & if he’s expecting a backdated 10 Run Bum-bag & a 50 Run Kit bag then he’s going have to wait until he completes Runs 70 & 110 respectively!

The Pack would now finish off the last of the Train cake from Kylie’s Birthday, talk about mutual friends & all while watching the start of the final Grand Prix of the season, of course most would be cheering on Lewis Hamilton, he being a local lad from St Evenage & Tewin.

While trying to catch the Grand Prix the RA’s highly tuned ears heard too much chat about w*rk from some of the Pack, a word to the wise, the Hash is non-competitive in running, drinking & earning!  Or perhaps it was a side effect of crowning himself on the low beams wear it says “Duck or Grouse?” & there was more grousing as My Lil’ did the same thing! 

Later on, while watching Lewis Hamilton win the Grand Prix in St Evenage, the RA realized that he didn’t have his Hash Shoes, not since they weren’t outside the Pub where he had left them!  Where they tied to Sloppy Second’s Exhaust pipe?  At least he knew that they couldn’t be in Skips Hash Bag!