Date = January 2015
Run Numbers = 1595/6/7
Venue = The Quayside; Joseph Conrad; Stanford Arms, Mariner’s Rest, Caxton Club & Waveney!
Location= St Albans
Beer = Loads
Hares = My Lil’ & Mr X, Paxo
Runners = 42
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 42
Membership = Almost an Orthodox Christmas!
Well it came to be the third time of holding a Christmas weekend at Broadlands in Oulton Broad. Would the weather be with them again?
For Mr X & My Lil' it was a case of sharing the Haring Duties & setting the Saturday on the Friday afternoon on their way down to Broadlands Holiday Village, stopping off at Beccles on the way. To check with the Caxton Club that everything was hunky dory for the Saturday après Trail Buffet. After this was sorted they abandoned Panda & Junior in a Man Crèche (The local 'Spoons!) to set the Trail.
The first part of Trail laying went swimmingly, & not in the sense of the previous year’s water-logged Tail! Then as they came up to an old level crossing on the bend in the line out of Beccles, they found that access was no longer granted by a notice that seemed to be issued by the railway company!
So, even with the Hash spirit of adventure that these two have, they weren't going to mess with the Trains, EWSH3 Members or not EWSH3 Members! After a delay in the setting the Trail, due to a reassessment of the options, these two finally made it back to the 'Spoons to pick up Junior & Panda before continuing on to Oulton Broad to decamp at the station opposite the site.
The usual Friday night pub crawl was to head out to Lowestoft by Train & then walk a marked TRAIL to just four pubs this year, this time around it was decided to save the Mariners Rest for the end of the evening. The Joseph Conrad was the first on the list, this is an impressive building of a couple of floor was once a local furniture store.
An amble around to the Stanford Arms, was now in order to sample the fine Greenjack’s Ales that are brewed just around the corner. Here there was an opportunity to sample the stone-baked pizza in the Pub’s very own Pizza-oven. Very nice they are too.
The final Pub was the Mariners Rest where Mr X had organized some snack/buffet food with the Pub, so it was a shame that Junior, as he does - only thought of himself & had hi-jacked the Pub Crawl to take a lot of the usual suspects off to the Triangle to listen to some music. It wasn’t as if Carlton Palmer was playing the drums that evening.
There was a fantastic spread of food, too much for only half the Pack who were there, it was slightly embarrassing for Mr X who said that there would be around 35 to eat, but the Landlord & Landlady didn’t seem too fussed. It kind of made Mr. X think about not bothering if there is a next time!
Several Decent Ciders & Ales later, from the great selection, it was time to get a cab back to base, with the split in the Pack it was pretty quiet there & there was no sign of any late drinking party. Even the Flying Dutchman was closed. So, it was an early night morning for those how usually stay out late to Saturday morning.
After Breakfast, those who were up for the mornings Trail gathered at the station. Kylie left it late & then had to go back for something! Others, like Flanders had a change of heart & decided that they would get later Train with Sis & Co. who would look at the shops before joining the rest of the Pack in the Caxton Club. They had their group tickets taken to back to their accommodation by Sludge.
Those setting off for Saturday's Trail would also see a sudden outpouring of emotions on an outing of the EWSH3 Hash, with Panda, Mr X, My Lil' & Twonk were all wearing their distinctive hi-vis EWSH3 waistcoats. Cries of "Traitors!" were uttered by wracked Junior, for he was without one of these prized articles of Hash wear. Then there was a deflated "Not you too Twonky!" As a now dismayed Junior clocked that Twonk was sporting a jacket as well.
Mr X had all the rail tickets bought in advance to save time & money, as is the norm the guard didn't have time to check them all before the Pack arrived at Beccles, within the 5 minute journey. Looking out over the flat land the Train rattled along through & it was clear to see that there were plenty of wide stretches of surface water over vast areas of the fields, but at least this morning there was no rain at all, in fact it was fairly mild for this time of year.
Having alighted from the Train the Hares ushered the crowd up & over the footbridge, now the passing place is back on the line with both platforms are now in use. Kylie will be more than happy to explain the token system that's used here to prevent any accidents on the mainly single track branch line. [Though surely any of the EWSH3 Hashers could do this? – Ed] The reason the Hares we eager to get the Pack over the bridge was that the On Inn was just a few yards behind them & may have been seen form on top of the bridge.
While the Pack circled up for the obligatory Sherry, that always brings a shudder to quite a few of those present, [We must get that Tradition looked at! – Ed] Junior looked around in anticipation of being presented with an EWSH3 waistcoat, nothing appeared!
Junior would be extremely disappointed, but not as much as Windsock, Tops, Twonk & Panda would be later on, for they had to endure Junior’s now despondent presence for the rest of the morning & in to the afternoon! Like a scratched record he would endlessly go on about "Traitors!"& "How could they, without me? Founder Member, CEO, Chairman of the EWS!” [He missed out the deluded bit! – Ed]
For the more sensible among the Hash it was time to hit the streets of Beccles, the first part leading up through the main shopping area toward the Bell Tower, Milf was among those who tried looking around this large stone edifice but would only find it to be a Falsie.
The Trail would be picked up leading away down Saltgate road & then from the old market Square it was picked up on the olde worlde Northgate road, there were a couple of false Trails on the cut-throughs to that lead down between a few of the homes to the river Waveney, none of these Falsies the Hares were hoping to lure Sludge or Tent Packer down, would searched as the Keenies ran down to a CHK where the road meets Bridge Street, which is of course named after the ‘Beccles Old Bridge’ over the Waveney to the west.
The Trail left the Town Sign Post with the figure of Queen Elizabeth I bestowing an honour on one of the locals of Beccles, which was probably for safe travel & accommodation on one of her very rare trips in to the Catholic strong-hold of East Anglia.
The Trail would take to a well-run route by H4 over the last couple of Christmases in heading across the green area by the Quayside buildings & then under Beccles New Bridge, which carries the main road that by-passes Beccles to the north. On the Northside of the road the Pack took to the various paths on the edge of the Beccles Marshes, from the CHK on the edge of the Marshes the Trail would head northeastward for to come down on to the bend in the lane which below the main road to the fishing lakes that sit below sea-level.
Now, with the Friday cock-up with trying to cross the railway, on a now closed path ‘By Order of the Railway’ the Trail would head up the northbound lane that leads off to the boating club on the Waveney, a CHK at the crossroads would take the Pack on a Shiggy path over to the northeast & away from the river. The change to Trail meant that there was a long Falsie of a Bar CHK now in place further out to the north-east, with the Trail finally being found back southbound through the local stables. So, no new territory had been run as yet!
The Pack would now pass through the manure mixed Shiggy where the horses live & then down a very Shiggy drive on to a CHK by the corner of the enclosed fishing lakes, no one fell for the Falsie here & the Pack moved down to the small car park by the south-eastern end of the lakes.
A Held CHK was found here on the few old railway sleepers, which once supported an old & short lived railway line over the marshes to the north, but this were closed as quickly as it was opened for it became too expensive to keep the line & rails afloat.
There was a Falsie on the tarmac lane away to the west on by the former local council refuse collection center & the roundabout on the main road near to the out of town supermarket, this brought the Keenies back to the cut through to the busy Main road, the Held CHK was in order to get the Pack all to cross over the busy road & to walk the few yards up the opposite carriageway to reach a point where the former path would have emerged after crossing the blind bend in the railway.
There was some laughter as the Pack had to cross over old the five-bar gate, Pebbledash was on form as Psycho, No Eye Deer, Party Animal & Harriettes had a struggle to ‘get their leg over’ the top of the gate, there were a few ‘knights in shining armour’ like Sludge who lent a hand, others like Skip offered to place their hands in the wrong place.
Now on the northern tip of the Beccles Common, behind the wooded raised area known as Boney’s Hill, a CHK was found here. This was new territory for H4 & the Hares were happy to see Sludge heading off in the wrong anti-clockwise direction. Milf seemed to get things right as she took the clock-wise choice of paths that circumnavigate the small golf course on the common.
Foxy & Grease Lightning were now trying to get Mr X to keep up with the Keeneis, but this Hare had other ideas
As a loop around this common area lay ahead, Mr X who set the Trail in the wooded boundary around the common on Friday gave this a miss this time & instead set a short cut over the drive way along by the small white wooden pavilion of the Club-house, he took a few SCBs with him to meet the others who were out no more than ten minutes running the oval path came around to the tree-lined avenue that lies behind a set of old wrought iron gates.
Mr X got some stick for taking the Short Cut, but as he says “I’ve never lost a Hasher on one of my Trails & I don’t intend to start now! [Not that anyone could have got lost as it is a small flat common! – Ed]
It was now a straight Run ‘On Inn’ down the tree-lined avenue & on beside the local Football & Cricket Clubs to reach the Railway Station. Along this homeward bound trot, Milf disclosed that the Pack had the equivalent of Beccles Royalty amongst them as she let slip that her Grandfather was once mayor of this town! [One feels obliged to bow! - Ed]
It was a far shorter Trail than on previous Hashes around Beccles, but no one complained as they came in to the Caxton Club to get changed, then enjoy the fine selection of Ales on offer from the Winning CAMRA Social Club of Suffolk. Again there was a great spread of a buffet to enjoy before the Pack went outside for the customary Down-Downs.
The Hares were rewarded for a good, if not slightly short Trail! Digger & Smartarse were also in there to award other Down-Downs, which meant Mr X wasn’t safe!
In no particular order are just a few of the many that could have been saved up for a year! Ewok was out for mentioning that she was sleeping with Darth Vader; Fliptop appearing on TV & being confused for being a D-DAY Veteran by the commentator! TBT OBE for no doubt a plethora of falling overs & other faux pas. Kylie & Milf who lovingly drowned their arm in arm, after meeting at Brussels 2014!
Casey Jones & Blow Dry for their first Herts Away Weekend. The new girls of Foxy & Grease Lightning were out as this was also their first Herts Hash Christmas Weekend. There were loads more & too many to recount now.
Having got the Train back to the Site & it’s surprising how well the Pack scrub up, Mr X made the most of it at the Bar as a long line of Hashers including Unmentionable, Twonk, Tops & Panda told him of how they had their ears’ bent by Junior, who entered the Bar & still didn’t look very Happy!
This year there were a lot more LBD’s on show, with Foxy, Grease lightning & Kerry, who were all joining their first Herts X-mas weekend. There were lashings of wine & port to go with the sweet, especially nice with the Cheese & Biscuits! During the lull, the RA stood up to do his usual speech of what Herts had managed to attended over the course of the last year these included:
The previous Year’s Christmas Party, Norfolk’s Christmas Party, Yorkshire AGPU & all in January.
February saw the Alternative to Inter Hash on Guernsey, My Lil’, Mr X, Junior 7 Panda went out to this & spent 29 hours trying to do what is normally a 55 minute flight to ‘The Rock’ & then they had 14 hours getting home! Which mean that they missed the Charity Mud ‘n’ Fun Run with the Guernsey Men & Harriettes! April saw some go off with the F.U.K Full Moon to Finger-Ola in Span; & by May they had also attended Bicester’s 2000th Weekend
There was on Friday the Thirteenth this year in June; The last Gibbard Garden Beerfest Picnic Run took place, they no longer allow anyone to take their own picnic in! ARP also celebrated a Birthday up in Upton Magna & June was finished off with a trip to the Shetlands for the Simmer Dim Hash!
July saw the EHMR Running Day, which clashed with Isca that saw My Lil’ complete his 10th Isca Roman Away Weekend on the trot! Then in July there was the long awaited Brussels Summertime 2014 Hash Weekend, where Milf met Kylie!
August saw another Sea to Smoke on the F.U.K Full Moon, one of the many a few of H4 attended. August also saw three of H4 attend Showman’s Wedding to Mel; while September brought us another trip to Mersea Island, though some were absent due to the lack of space due to the toilets being blocked! This may have been a blessing as they didn’t have to endure Sparky’s car alarm going off all through the night!
October rolled in with a 140th Birthday Run to celebrate Skip & Sludge’s joint 70th in Aston at the Pig & Whistle. Then there was the very first ‘Official EWSH3 Trail’ to the Full Moon at the Taritor’s gaste in Grays! [Guess who wasn’t there? Yes, you got it Junior! – Ed]
November saw Kylie reach a certain age & he held a Birthday Party at the EHMR with a ‘Running Day’ This month was also the F.U.K Full Moon’s trip along the Bermondsey Beer Mile, an epic crawl! A successful Year indeed.
There were two secret Santa's this year, since the numbers were a lot more & it would have taken a lot longer. They were introduced by Digger in a Boxing MC style voice, with Sludge fighting out of the Red Corner for half the Pack & Fergus in the other Red Corner keeping the other half of the Hash happy, well one Santa had the brogue, the gift of the gab so to say & those who sat on his knee had a long stay there! It didn’t matter which Santa was chosen, as most came away with a large smile on their face & a tacky present of £5 or less!
There was some dross amongst the great things you can get for a £5, the Herts RA was stitched up with the Essex Hash Mug. [Hope it came with a money back guarantee? – Ed] There were only four suspects in that line-up for bringing that!
There was the RA's special Raffle, assisted by Digger, with a few odd & some risqué presents. Including a Baldy Buffer; A Solider in a tank egg cup; Chocolate Nipples, Jelly Willies to name a few! All enough to make 2-1-2 Maureen Blush, she has asked why the Trash has to be so rude? To which the Edit-Hare says “It keeps Pebbledash coming back for more!”
But the bestest-ever present in the whole wide Hash World was Junior's, [Self-proclaimed Founder & CEO of EWSH3! But isn't the GM, nor was he at the first official Run in the year gone by! - Ed] Junior was in tears as he carefully unwrapped his EWSH3 hi-viz waistcoat, Once on his frame, it would not be taken off for the rest of the evening!
The RA went through his usual speech of what Herts Hash had managed to get up to & the away events that they were party to attending.
Danced the night away to Fliptop's music, which of course came to an end with a rather rousing sing-a-long to the Wurzels ‘I got a brand new combine Harvester!’
While Digger stayed out to play, Mr X offered to take home the Secret Santa Present that someone had given him to take home to his mum. [Bet Chris didn’t think much of the Box of Loveliness when he got it home? – Ed]
For some getting home wasn’t easy, not only did TBT OBE fall over, as is his way in life, but none other than the RA managed to avoid tripping over a sleeping policeman but instead clipped the end a shrub root sticking out of the fence, falling face first Mr X ended up landing on the bag he was carrying, & its contents which included the tin of loveliness which was severely dent, as was Mr X as he cracked two of his ribs in the process.
To compound matters, Mr X dropped the Essex Mug, he was awarded in the Secret Santa, & this broke the handle off, but then as he tried to get up he found that his left arm was outstretched & his hand had parted two of the slats & was through the fence! Rescue came in the shape of Tent Packer & Sludge, but as they tried to lift Mr X up, the fence gripped tighter around his wrist, just like one of those Chinese Finger Puzzles!
In the morning a bruised Mr X wandered around to the Club House, to see if there was any lost property & also to inspect any potential damage to any fencing, luckily there was no broken fence panels. There was no lost Property in the Bar & so it was a case of joining the rest to Circle up outside of the Quayside Bar.
Paxo was the day’s Hare & the Trail was going to be one to would go down well with the likes of No Eye Deer, 2-1-2 Maureen, Foxy & Grease Lightning & Kerry on such a fine day. The Start of the Trail would lead the Hash away from the site by heading off toward Oulton Broad Station & then crossing over to take to the back streets of the Coleville area of Oulton Broad, avoiding the Flying Dutchman on the way as it heads into the south end of Lowestoft
Surprisingly Mr X was pretty up beat & managed to run in the southeasterly direction through the backstreets once the Trail had flirted with the main road, the pain was still being anesthetized by Alcohol & the bruising had yet to start coming out. The Trail would make its way on to a long stretch on a wide tarmac back alleyway between the two lines of homes stretching out to the east.
It was on this stretch that the Hare would have the FRBs running backward & forward with a well laid Trail & crafty Trail, but it did amuse the few locals out walking this morning to see the FRBs like Milf, Grease lightning, Foxy & Casey Jones to name a few. Mr X now slowed up at this point, he chatted to Kerry as he waited for others to sort out the shenanigans the Hare was up to with the Trail.
The Trail came out to a CHK by the main road in to Lowestoft, having crossed over Tom Crisp’s Way, by way of the lights over the busy arterial route in to Lowestoft proper, the Trail cut through the small nature reserve looking area & in to Kirkley Fen Park, where the cunning Hare caught out all of the Pack with a Falsie over the path running below the area of ponds in the wooded area of the park.
The Trail was found again on the main route out of the park & out on the back-streets of the Kirkley area of town, the Dust led around by the local post office & then on eventually passing by the Church of Kirkley St Peter & St John, before coming around on to Rectory Road as it heads toward the Sea Front, at the T junction with the sea front road was a Gold Letter Box
Milf was among those who wondered which 2012 Olympic Gold Medalist was it painted in honour of? Mr X said that he thought it was a Boxer & he was right, as it is Lowesoft’s very own Anthony Agogo! Even the local’s, who Milf cheerfully said ‘Hello’ to didn’t seem to really know, but they too believed it was a Boxer, reinforcing Mr X’s Comment.
The Hash could now get a healthy dose of ‘ozone’ as the Trail now turned northward, with a slight diversion dowjn the sea-front steps to leave the sea-wall & run along the beach, passing the beach huts & the two peirs on the way up to the bridge over the Waveney by the end of the inner Harbour.
While Mr X & My Lil’ were lured away from the rest, the smell of Ale was in their Nostrils & the local Spoons was open, the rest of the Pack were slowed in their tracks at the sight of a baby seal on the beach. Kylie got some photo’s of this stranded pup, while a concerned Milf & other Harriettes gathered around, Kerry called the RSPCA to come out & make sure that it was alright.
Omo & Tinkerbelle found their way to the local Spoons, but once inside with Mr X, My Lil’ & Co, they asked how far the Railway Station was? Mr X pointed out of the plate glass window to the Austere Railway building directly across the road, the old fashioned BR signage & large lettering gave away its purpose!
When it came to getting tickets for the return journey back to Site, there was some confusion as to the Groupsave Deal [Next time, if there is one, we’ll book them in advance. Amongst those having problems, as the time came around to the Train’s departure, were TBT OBE & 19th Hole, both of who ended up paying full price onboard the Train. As the next Train departed two hours later it was worth the extra price!
As the Train pulled out of the station Kylie was in his element, for he pointed out & commented on the overhead gantry signals the span the tracks leading out of the terminus station, apparently they are quite rare these days. [Potential EWSH3 GM material? – Ed]
Back to site & there was time to get cleaned up before walking up to the Waveney for Sunday Lunch, before this there was a small matter of the final Down-Downs, these included the Hare; Mr X with his (not known at the time) broken Ribs after the tin of loveliness incident. But most Hits were just awarded for the fact that people made the effort to come along & make it a great weekend.
Another excellent Sunday lunch was had at the Waveney, after which it was a slow amble back to move on to the Port & Cheese evening at Willow B, with Omo, Tinkerbelle, Casey Jones & Blow Dry joining Unmentionable, Twonk, Panda & Junior joining Fergus, Digger, & the remnants of Herts with My Lil’ & Mr X.
The main talking point to start with were the items on the mantelpiece, there was the broken Essex Hash mug & a very crumpled pink & white stripped metal tin of loveliness. The port eased the pain, which seemed to be made worse by laughing!
Monday Morning & it was time for even the hardiest, & Junior, of the Hash to head home. So, Panda, Junior, My Lil’ & Mr X got the Train down to Beccles for a breakfast in the local ‘Spoon. The Train Guard asked to see their tickets & then started to chat to them like they were long lost friends or colleagues, then when he asked what depot they were working out of made the penny drop, he thought that with their hi-vis EWSH3 waistcoats that they worked on the railways.
It was explained to the Train Guard that they were actually a part of a Hash House Harriers Kennel, which use Trains to get to other Hash events, after a slight pause he replied “You ought to get out a bit more!” Things continued in a similar vein when they reached the ‘Spoons, where they met Blow Dry, Casey Jones, Tinkerbelle & Omo.
Ordering a round at the Bar, in between the loud crashes of dinning-ware that fell off of the kitchen collection point, Panda elected for a bottle of Red & when asked how many glasses he required? He said just one! To which the Barman said “Was it a heavy shift?”
After Breakfast the four EWSH3 Hashers headed off to Ipswich & en route Panda said that he didn’t feel like he could take the pressure of being GM of this Hash. Captain Mainwaring-esque, Junior put himself forward as GM, but My Lil’ Nominated Twonk - which Panda Seconded & Mr X Thirded. In a vote of three to one, Twonk became the EWSH3 GM for a year!
A day later & Mr X was down the Hospital, where they confirmed he had broken ribs & just sent him back to work with a packet of pain-killers!