Date =                            19th January 2015

Run Number =             1598

Venue =                        The Plough

Location=                     Datchworth

Beer =                           Three Real Ales

Hares =                         Sludge

Runners =                    23

Virgins =                       0

Visitors =                      1                                        

Après Hashers =         0

Newies =                       0

Hounds =                      1

Total =                          25

Membership =             Boisterous!



Shiggy, shiggy and more shiggy in all its forms was the order of the day.

The circle gathered in front of the pub at some few minutes past the hour of 11.00am Grand Master Tent Packer announced the run; number 1598 and introduced ‘‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds’’  visiting from the Kalahari Hash, Botswana.   So called because he used to work for the diamond company De Beers.  Botswana is one of the largest (quantity)diamond producers in the world, it is open cast so if you’re lucky you may find one on the surface , which is what happened 6 months after becoming independent.  

Nowadays Lucy has his own very successful business in Botswana – a car wash.  [So, is this an advert for some competition with the local Romain car washers? – Ed]

Lemming and Mother were also welcomed on their return to the fold. (That used a few words – important because I don’t have a clue where the run went but I’ll have a go).

The pack set off in a southrly direction until they came across a check on the green beside the cricket & rugby clubs.  Here a number of options were available all caked in various layers of shaggy.  Ewok set off on the path to the west, while others just hung around.  Unfortunately Ewok the westery track was wrong as an On-on call came from the path that leads to southward to Sedge Green and Coltfoots Lane where a further check was found.  Here a large group including Sparky, Lucy, Milf and Sloppy seconds took the wrong route through the many puddles that adorned the lane to reach an inevitable T.  This allowed the walkers the chance to go ahead of the many, though I must remind you that the Hash is competitive, Oops that should be non-competitive (fraudulent slip). 

The true trail headed  past Coltsfoot Country Retreat towards Coltsfoot farm.  It was here that the RA departed the Trail to short cut back by bthe Horns & over a couple of paddocks to oick up the last leg oif the Trail.

A further check here saw the path cross the field towards Burnham Green where the aforementioned front running group, added to by Foxy and Lemming, again headed in the wrong direction up White Horse Lane maybe to the north, I’ve no idea (no she wasn’t there – I mean I didn’t have a compass).  The trail therefore headed, maybe southwest (if north was correct) up the hill to the White Horse p.h. in Burnham Green

At the crossroads a further cheque (‘scramble’) was found by the bus stop.  Here you can catch the 379 through to Hertford, or Stevenage if travelling in the other direction, but only if prepared to wait until Monday, for the bus does not run on a Sunday.  

From the bus stop check the trail worked its way through Tewin Wood finally reaching  Tewin Close and the passageway to Bishops Road.  Across Bishops Road and Firs walk the trail then begun a long muddy loop following the track beside a large house until reaching Queen Hoo Lane and Brickground Wood.

Here at the check an impromptu halt was held whilst the front runners themselves who had become a bit strung out by Lucy’s pace at the front, gathered themselves.  What was happening at the back I’ve no idea as I was at the front.  [Can anyone smell Bullshit? –Ed]

From the check, both a permissive footpath and a normal footpath proved to be false as the correct trail headed down Queen Hoo Lane to the junction with Bramfield road and a further check.

Almost there – my fingers are hurting and it’s now gone 5 o’clock.  Here the trail worked its way by the reservoir and through to Back lane Wood en route to Watton Road and the On inn, but not before most of the pack at the front took a wrong path at the check beside the stream.  

Lucy and Sparky were way ahead in the wrong direction whilst Paxo,  Ewok, Foxy and Sloppy Seconds followed on more gingerly through the mud.  For here it was, that Foxy lost her footing and ended up with a muddy backside whilst Sloppy seconds narrowly averted the same mishap with the dexterity shown from his days of playing league volleyball and badminton.  More likely better grip on his running shoes.

On reading back not many names have been used in this Trash, so in case you are one of those that only look for their name, others involved on the trail, were, in no particular order; Fliptop, 1-2-1 Maureen, Pebbledash, Spillage,  Custard, Mother, Spermhead, Tent packer, Skip, Physco, Pepé, and to anyone I haven’t mentioned – apologies but I need to go home.  The making of this trash would not have been possible without them.


Down downs [The Curate got some stick from a very noisy and unruly Circle! – Ed]


Sludge – for a good run of around the hour

Lucy – for exchanging the sands of the Kalahari for the shiggy of Hertfordshire

Lemming and Mother - each for having completed 10 runs with the Hash

Foxy (and me)  - Foxy for falling over and getting shiggy on her backside and the Curate for nearly doing the same whilst laughing at Foxy (Ewok, I’ve made a mental note you dobbed me in).  Mr X also joined the party as when one RA drinks, all RA’s drink. [Thanks Fliptop! – Ed]

                Sloppy seconds – (aka the Curate), having won a DVD at the previous nights raffle to raise money for the Datchworth and Ware guides trip to the Harlem Jamboree, with whom Pebbledash and the girls are connected and attended by several members of the Hash; to their great merriment Sloppy opened the DVD cover only to find there was NO DISC inside.

Spermhead – a down-down rapidly turned into the hash shit.  

The Curate having noted in the recent stats prepared by Sludge that some while back due to winter snows only 4 hashers had reached a hash in Watford; Mr X, Spermhead, Sloppy Seconds and a visiting young American girl who Sloppy had picked up from High Wych en route.  This led the Curate to recall that after what was a walk to the pub, the trail having been obliterated by snow even as Mr X tried to lay it, our American friend proceeded to down many pints in the Watford pub.                

Mr X then left to watch Saracens play at Vicarage Raod and the remaining  trio proceeded to headquarters in Hertford where further drinking took place. Spermhead then left leaving Sloppy and said young lady to have a final drink at the Rising Sun P.H. in High Wych.  For said young lady this was 6-7 pints later, obliterating on the day, Spermheads’ feeble attempts to keep up with her. Lightweight !!!!!!!!!

Now whilst this would have just been a down down, in the lead up to events the Curate had asked Spermhead  to whom he might give the hash sh*t. His response – “why don’t you give it to Foxy, you like giving her T shirts”. Big mistake – Hash sh*it to Spermhead.