Date = 18th June 2015
Run Number = 1622
Venue = The Star
Beer = Old Speckled Hen,
Hares = Paxo
Runners = 10
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 3
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 13
Membership = Admiring the Murals!
On the way to the venue, the Herts RA drove through Hertford Heath & as he & My Lil’ were about to pass the East India College Arms they saw an old fellah wobble along on a bike & it briefly appeared that this was no Sir Bradley Wiggins who didn’t look as he was going to stop himself from going straight out in to the road in from of the RA, it turned out that the said cyclist was none other than Billy Bullshit! [A blast from the Past there! - Ed
Well, what can one say about the experiment with a Thursday evening Run? First mooted by TBT OBE & Paxo to take advantage of the £5 curries & a Pint deals available at a ‘Spoons local to them, the RA chipped in that this particular Thursday saw the 200th Anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo & not many would be around to celebrate the 250th! A red, White & Blue theme was asked for in the Trash for several weeks before, as a small tribute for the Battle that changed the course of European History.
The first obvious thing to grab the RA’s attention was the advertising board outside of the front entrance to the Star, promoting a Thursday ‘Curry Club’ meal for £7.50! Ketchup, who was very out of character in being at the Hash well before the Circle was called, pointed out that the poster had four of those digital style figure of 8 after the £ sign, these allow each ‘Spoons Pub to blank out some of the white spaces to leave the price they want to charge! And they weren’t charging £5!
The GM arrived, then went off to move his car from Morrisons to the Car park behind the ‘Spoons, for it was free after 18:30 & the Morrisons’ one only had 3 hours for free! He was soon back as the Pack waited on the Hare’s arrival, finally Ewok was on hand to say Paxo was on his way.
This area of Hoddesdon is being revamped, with new stone walkways on the semi pedestrianised area around the town Clock-Tower, there were plenty of low plastic hoardings to keep the pedestrians & the likes of TBT OBE away from falling down in to the works.
There was also a poster advertising the road closures for the Saturday’s Women’s Cycling tour that will be passing through the town on its way from Waltham Cross to the stage end in Stevenage. There were comments of cycle wheels going missing at the end of the race if they hung around too long!
Anyhow, this week saw the return of Mark E Mark, who was gingerly walking up the High Street toward the Pub, those already outside the main entrance couldn’t stop laughing at his extremely exaggerated John Wayne gait. The cause of such discomfort was a water-skiing accident, though if you are not actually going along on the water surface I wouldn’t thought it was called Skiing? [Gentle Reader, I will spare you the Gory details until the end of this report! – Ed]
Paxo came around from the Taverner’s lane car park to the front of the Pub & explained that the Trail would start from this Public car park behind the ‘Spoons, so the Pack wandered back to where they came from & where most had parked their cars.
The GM & the Hare were both quick to get through their respective introductory talks, especially as those gathered should know what to expect from Herts Markings. Then without further ado, the Pack were ushered away out of the northwest corner of the car park & on to the dead-end of Walnut Tree close.
No Eye Deer led the way around the anti-clockwise turning bend to head from westward to southward just a short way to come out on Lord Lane. Sludge was soon on to the Trail as it headed westward once again, leading along the road & passing by the Friends Meeting House (Home to the Quakers) as the Trail ran up to a CHK point on the corner with Rose Vale. Ketchup & My Lil’ commented on the age & construction of the building
Another southbound trot was in order to reach the next CHK by Brock View, where Rose Vale becomes Park View, the latter named street gets its name from the Public park across from where the CHK was. “On!” was called over the busy back street which is no doubt a ‘rat-run’ to avoid the semi-pedestrianised High Street or the extra distance of going around the by-pass ring road?
Any small gap in the traffic was enough for the majority to nip over to Barclay Park & pick up the Trail from the north-eastern corner to run along on ‘Beech walk’. As the Trail made its way around the northern perimeter, My Lil’ pointed out the lake in the centre of the park, Mr X also chipped in with an “It’s got to go to the lake, it always does!” With this thought in their minds it was a surprise that they didn’t go off down to the lake to have a look, but the Hare was too close to them & their usual alibi of having Sludge short cutting ahead of them was not happening today.
Yes, Sludge was actually Hashing properly by following the Trail to the small area of woodland in the northeast corner of the Park & he was joined by Tent Packer, Milf No, Eye Deer & Ketchup at the CHK on the tarmac path outside of the wooded plot. They were all lured away on a Falsie before coming back to find the real Trail was now to be found on the west bound path, tis made its way over toward the next wooded part of the park, a CHK at the crossroads with the southbound path to the lake stopped the Hash from getting that far.
Sludge was tempted to go off on the oval shaped path that leads off out through a fenced-in fallow field & comes back on the west side of the fence on the more obvious footpath. However, Mr X headed straight down to the lake & found a Trail & as he disappeared around behind the tree-line between the lake & the Spittal Brook he would find a T just beyond the wrought iron bridge over the sluice gates.
As Mr X went to turn back he heard “On!” being called from the other side of the Tree-lined brook, so he nipped over the next footbridge & came out to find No Eye Deer & Tent Packer at the upper southwest edge of the hedgerow on this small enclosed space. The Trail was picked up to the south-eastern end, there were plenty of widdle wabbits hopping about all over this smaller green area enclosed by hedges on three sides, the way out led over an older red brick footbridge spanning the Spittal Brook, here, just by the gate houses to the Park a CHK was found.
Sludge was tempted to go off on the footbridge above the ford in the wide & shallow Brook, he like Ketchup had to be called back as they had not spotted this was a Held CHK behind a parked car. Sludge was teased about the fact that the ford was not at all in full flow, not with the lack of rain in the past month.
Ewok & Kylie were on their way down to the CHK to meet up with the rest, then Milf’s phone rang & it turned out to be Kylie’s Mum trying to get a hold of him, seems his phone was not available! While Milf & Kylie swopped technology on the Trail, the rest were allowed to search once more.
Sludge had now changed his mind on searching down to the ford & instead he took to the opposite direction up to the west & headed up to the edge of Cock Lane [Phew it was lucky that Pebbledash wasn’t there! – Ed] there a double set of arrows directed the Hash straight over the road in to Hoddesdon, as the footpath on the road’s left side stopped shortly after the park entrance. There would be no doubt that this would be the way as it pointed to an isolated footpath rising up behind the tree-line beside the road.
The Dust was found by a large old house & came out from behind the shelter of the mighty oak & other established trees hiding the property from the road, a short way up Cock lane & the Pack were directed back over the road now the footpath on the left side had resumed. At this point there was some amusement for the rest for the Pack as Sludge kept trying to cross the road, but the busy traffic kept making sure he hopped back on to the footpath!
Eventually the Hash all made back over to the north edge of the road & they continued along this to it joined the southern end of the High Street from Broxbourne back in to Hoddesdon. The Hash headed northward pass a petrol station until the road split, where the old High Street carries straight on & the orbital by-pass of Charlton road goes away to the right.
As the Pack made their way on to the south end of the semi-pedestrianised High Street, there were a plethora of spicy & oriental smells in the air - for this end seems to be the home to the largest concentration of restaurants in the town. A turn of direction soon took place as the Dust led off to the left & on to Brock lane & then out on to Taverner’s way.
As Mr X made his way around to the Iceland car park he heard a “Keep running!” coming from Pebbledash, who was going shopping, Mr X enquired why she wasn’t shopping at the ‘other’ store, apparently its cheaper in Iceland! [Perhaps she was hoping to bump in to Pete Andre?- Ed] Anyway the Trail came around the snaking S-bend, passing the ‘On Inn’ on the way back to the car park behind the ‘Spoons.
The ‘Spoons was packed when the rest of the Pack entered to find Lobby Lobster & Mar E Mark in the conservatory end of the Bar. With no reserved seats by the Hare, this kind of put the mockers on the idea of the evening for the Pack to celebrate the 200th Anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo, & also with the Pack being split the proposed Hash meeting really didn’t get the attention it deserved. Even with Tent –Packer handing out Fliptop’s sheets about the debate the Pack should have had.
A poorly TBT OBE sounded rough as he coughed up the words “Don’t get close to me, I feel awful!” this probably helped to keep the Pack split in to two groups to eat, one sitting with him in quarantine & the other in an uncontaminated area in the opposite corner. No Down-Downs took place, for there wasn’t enough room to hold a circle. The Trash & Book did go around, No Eye Deer was impressed that a Run report had already been knocked up for Mondays’ Hash in such a short time.
One section of the Hash was served quicker than those at the far end of the courtyard garden, maybe the fact that the table number was wrong only added to their order was the reason. Paxo was soon up & out to the Bar to rectify this. The Curry however wasn’t bad, though Mr X said his ‘Red Dragon’ choice wasn’t hot enough for him, even with after eating the green chilli on the top! After they had eaten, Mr X showed Ewok the item that he was going to put in this Trash, about a Brazilian Pastor (See below) then with a slight chill in the breeze, the two groups finally got together to discuss Saturday’s Braughing Wheel barrows race.
Also a topic was the Pub’s the unique heritage & the discovery of the fresco paintings behind a false wall, these Elizabethan painting on the plaster, the Pack took turns in going around to the front bar to see this spectacle, as well as the ancient roof that is visible from the upstairs toilets of both sexes.
Back down in the Bar & things soon turned to Mark E Mark’s water skiing accident, well it sounded painful enough to listen to, but worse was to come when he showed a picture of his torso that was taken on his mobile. If it wasn’t for the white hand covering & holding his modesty out of the way, you would have thought that it was a shot to TC’s lower torso, groin & upper legs with a huge swollen sack on display that you will not see at the Secret Santa!
Mark E Mark seemed bewildered about the lack of compassion from his fellow Hashers who were by now in hysterics, when the RA stopped laughing he said that he didn’t get any sympathy when he broke his ribs. Water Skiing, it seems, has now joined Cyprus on Mark E Mark’s don’t go there with a sh*tty stick list!
The laughter continued as Ketch then told of his experience at the same water park, with him lying overnight in the draft of a gale blowing though his tent that had no sewn-in ground sheet, he was so cold he never got to sleep. In the morning he climbed in to the car & soon found the warmth of the sun made him go in to sleep mode, unfortunately his plan to rid himself of the ‘cold in his bones’ he would nod off as the car’s interior became like that of an oven.
From one extreme to the other, Ketchup had now gone from being an ice cube to a chicken in an oven on a high gas-mark! He eventually woke up in a sweat, initially not knowing where he was, he managed to get out of the car. Lobby Lobster admitted that she had made sure her dog in the car next to Ketchup’s had the windows down enough to let fresh air in, if she had noticed Ketchups’ predicament she could have done the other dumb animal & made him more comfortable.