Date = 7th September 2015
Run Number = 1635
Venue = White Horse
Beer = Greedy King IPA, Ruddles (GreedyKing) County
Hares = Mark E Mark
Runners = 17
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 1
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 18
Membership = Capable of running on new territory!
For some the Start of the Trail at the car park at the bottom of Thieves Lane was a tad difficult to locate. No Eye Deer had to call the RA to find out where this mysterious meeting point was located, obviously No Eye Deer is not au fait with a Paxo like knowledge of Dogging Spots in Herts?
No Eye Deer had pulled up by the shops in the Sele Farm Estate & when Mr X heard where she was he quickly decided to get her moving on from there & back down the hill toward Hertingfordbury.
Mr X arrived to see that there was a large flour HHH & an arrow across the driveway into the now extended car park, almost everyone driving in must have felt the same things as they passed beneath the steel barrier that had a ‘2 metre height’ sign that seemed a lot lower than the stated clearance, this had a few ducking down in their own car!
No Eye Deer was found in the car park with her car which did have all of its wheels still intact, so there was no need for the RA & Hare Raiser to drive up to Sele Farm Estate to find her. This week’s turn-out was looking a bit better than the last couple of weeks, with a Newie called Fliptop there as well as a few regulars who haven’t been for a while, mainly being Zing-a-long-a-max & Porky Pie.
As the Pack gathered near to the information signs at one end of the gravel car park, there was a strange rattling noise that pre-empted the Hare suddenly appearing from out of Chesher’s Plantation, Mark E Mark was riding a bike that made him appear like Granville out of ‘Open All Hours’ TV programme. This led the RA to do a “A-Gerr-a-gerr-a-Gerr-anville!” impersonation of Albert Arkwright. Mark E Mark dismounted the bike & commenced tightened up the loose rear mud-guard of the push-bike that belongs to Lobby Lobster!
The RA looked around at the car park floor, a mix of grey stones & dust & in amongst this he saw the circular outline of what seemed to be a coin, having picked up the object it turned out to be a pound coin, but Mr X thought that it was a ‘Sexton Blake’ (Fake). He stated that he thought that it was a rusty forgery, My Lil’ said that even in that state he could palm it off on the assistant Hash Cash when he hobbles around collecting subs!
Kylie looked out over the valley to see Mayflower Place over in the distance upon the verdant hillside, this was the venue for I.E. & Goose’s Wedding Reception that was held there, Mark E Mark changed these reminiscent tones as he looked at Porky Pie’s Hash Shorts & Herts ‘Mad May Ball’ polo-shirt, both of which were covered in white splashes & enquired if Porky Pie had been decorating or been watching a lot of porn while ARP is away?
Once Tent Packer had finished his part of the opening Circle, it was down to Mark E Mark to explain what the Pack could encounter out on the Trail. He mentioned that there wold be short cuts & that the Trail took him an hour & a half to cycle around, adding, after the Pack’s sigh of disbelief, that he did have three punctures to slow him up. The last thing the Hare mentioned was that it was actually a short Trail due to the fading daylight at this time of the year.
So, the Trail got underway with the Pack heading up to the northeast in to the end of Chesher’s Plantation. It wasn’t far in among the trees when the first CHK was found by a fenced-in pathway leading in to the centre of the park. It was down to Zing-a-long-a-max to pick up the Trail as it changed direction to a more easterly route in to the south-eastern end of Blakemere wood. As some of the Pack made their way through the wide tracts of leaf litter in this established woodland, Paxo informed them this was the route that he used to take on his School Cross Country runs.
The RA said that he was glad that the Pack were Hashing this new territory to H4 on a Monday, as at the weekends there are loads of civilians out walking their pooches, this led Paxo to mention that he hadn’t seen many Dog’s Eggs so far, but the RA disagreed saying had seen plenty of land-mines already on start the Trail & her had avoided them.
Ewok was running up ahead, Paxo told those around him that she had just had her eyes lasered & her pupils were still quite large, not being able to see properly may have meant that she, like Paxo, would be unaware of any stray Dog’s Eggs until they stepped on one. Wouldn’t fancy going back in their car afterwards if they didn’t change shoes!
The Trail headed out toward the B1000 Hertford road, & at the northern edge of the wood a CHK was found, the option of taking the old official footpath over the open, reaped farm field to the B1000 was ignored by most, notably for the fact that the other option of continuing along within the wood was on one of the new Permissive paths that have been opened up on the former Panshanger estate, which for years has been run by Lafargé aggregates for gravel extraction.
new paths were supposed to have been established years ago, but somehow Lafargé
evade forget to carry out the clauses in the contract when
they were given rights to extract the gravel from the estate, but enough
bitching as we can now all enjoy the land which is being restored to its former
The going underfoot was pretty soft as the Trail led the Pack just north off of north-westward & through in to Evergreen wood, a CHK in there would catch out the likes of Sludge, Porky Pie, Tent Packer, Spotted Dick, Zing-a-long-a-max & Ewok who all headed southward in the woodland. By the time No Eye Deer, Mr X & Paxo arrived at the CHK, the rest seemed to have come to a halt after finding a T.
The Hare had cycled up to a wide tree-stump just before the CHK point, on this he set out a large flour arrow to point the way out of the wood & over toward the B1000, My Lil’ & Fliptop took advantage of the other’s mistake & they were soon on their way out through the farm field beside the road. On the way the RA & Paxo noticed that there was a tent over to the left, slightly hidden in amongst the fallow plants in a set aside area, it wasn’t noticeable if it had any inhabitants.
Out by the hedgerow by the edge of the B1000 was the next CHK, no one was lured away over the road to Welwyn as the path on the opposite side of the busy road was a long footpath running below Bramfield. “On!” was found on the north-westerly route up toward the next section of woodland on this part of the estate. At the start of this bit the Pack passed by two lads holding back their large, chunky box-like dog until the Hash had passed by.
The Trail now turned with the path as it ran between a hedgerow & the edge of garden wood, it was long this section that the Pack would pass by a woman out with her pooch, which earlier on was almost mistaken for Louis, except that Lobby lobster wasn’t there at that time, & Mark E Mark couldn’t have got Louis in the basket on the front of the bike he was riding.
The Trail would weave its way around to an open area where there was a crossroads of two stony farm tracks, a CHK was found there & most of the FRBs went wrong by carrying on north-westward toward the remains of the orangery, the Stables which still intact, as are some of the estate cottages, & where Panshanger House itself once stood. Sadly this was demolished in the 1950’s after Lady Desborough died leaving no heirs, it was too costly to maintain the building.
Fliptop was the last to come back from the falsie & he would join the rest in heading westward on the stoniest of tracks to another crossroads with another hard-core track, on the way the RA pointed out a very large Dog’s Egg to Paxo! Safely by the large turd & the next CHK was found overlooking the valley below. The lakes, ponds & osier beds of the Mimram in the valley floor where already an established feature of the estate, & not created by gravel extraction, on what was once home to the Earls of Cowper, who commissioned Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown to set out the grounds. In many places on the estate it is hard to see that this was once a gravel pit.
Again the Hare caught the FRBs out on the next north westbound path, eventually they would see the error of the ways, well, a T at least, perhaps not Ewok? The FRBs re-joined the rest, Mr X explained to Ewok about part of the history of the estate, while My Lil’ said that Paxo’s memories of the two hundred year old oaks were probably from when they were first planted as Acorns! Which left Sludge alone, as the Pack stood looking out from the wide open space between Garden Wood to the west between Lady Hughe’s Wood to the east.
Ewok was now having difficulties on getting her bearings, as all of this was a splendid new sight for most of the Hash. Mr X pointed straight out over the green valley toward where Birch Green would be over the opposite ridge. There were a couple of this week’s Pack who have been around this path, & that was Spotted Dick & Custard who had earlier mentioned the running trail of the ‘Park Run’ which takes place every Saturday. This is a permeant route of 5 Kms that is advertised as ‘Just you against the Clock”! Mark E Mark showed the RA the metal clips upon the gate posts that take a removable signs to show the route of the regular weekend trot around the estate.
Anyhow, the Trail was picked up on the path that heads westward down into the valley & the River Mimram, but the Pack stopped short of running up to the water features by a CHK before the sheep field ahead of the river. The Dust was found heading eastward below Lady Hughe’s Wood & then below Chesher’s Plantation. Looking up over the opposite hillside, the spire for the St Mary's Church in Hertingfordbury could be seen peeking out over the trees.
On the way back Inn on this route below the woods, the Pack got to see an old man in the adjacent sheep field & it looked as if he was worrying the sheep as he hobbled along to try & get out of this enclosure. Mr X told a story that made the Hertford Mercury, about an old boy who was caught in the beam of the Police Helicopter over near Potters Bar, he was found in the pitch black, sitting in a sheep field sitting on a tartan blanket, with a pot of Vaseline & no pants on!
The Trail headed slightly up hill to find the On Inn as it turned back on to the eastward route. A slight detour off of a direct route back in eventually led out in to he bottom of the car park. Most were surprised that they had got around in a shade under 30 minutes, which meant that there was plenty of daylight left that evening.
The Pack changed & moved over to the White Horse, there the Pack settled in, they were joined by Lobby Lobster & Mumblehead who were last to get around after a late start.
Before the Circle was called, there was a slight incident with a bowl of chips that Spotted Dick had purchased & was offering around, as My Lil’ went to get a hold to the bowl that was being offered out toward him, Spotted Dick said that he couldn’t have the lot & he didn’t let go of the bowl, all of the tugging [Whoa, there Pebbledash! – Ed] led to a sudden release of My Lil’s grip & his elbow flew back to knock his almost full pint over!
When it came to the Circle there were no less than Three Hares in the Circle, one for each of the last three weeks, this meant that No Eye Deer & Paxo joined Mark E Mark in the Circle. My Lil’ & Spotted Dick were out for their Chuckle Brothers act of “To me! To You!” with the bowl of chips!
Ewok was out for being dilated, her pupils & not her cervix [Thankfully Pebbledash was not there! – Ed] TBT OBE was out for being on his own in a sheep field, he was lucky that his Son (Ketchup) still has the Hashit. [Who knows, we may see that at the End of season pig-out’? – Ed]