Date =                                    Sunday 18th October 2015

Run Number =                     1644

Location=                             The Green Man – Widford

Beer =                                    Adnams Best, Greene King IPA (guess which one we drank)

Hares =                                  Sloppy Seconds

Runners =                             21

Virgin =                                   0

Visitors =                                0

Apres Hashers =                  0

Newies =                                0

Hounds =                              4

Membership =                      Playing guess how many times the Hash Master would have to shunt his car back and forward to turn it round.   


With the falling leaves of autumn heralding the onset of winter the pack gathered in (and out) of the Green Man car park.  The absent RA, (hope the recovery is going OK Mr X), had obviously had word with the weather gods as it was a pleasantly mild autumn morning with no wind, (other than the packs bottom burps).

                The Landlady asked for some cars to be moved, apparently Sloppy had previously asked that at least some of the hash cars be parked in the surrounding street.  [Sorry, that should have been added to the weakly email! – Ed]

This car rearranging interrupted the starting circle called by Tent Packer. The hare (Sloppy Seconds) was introduced; he advised the pack that there were held checks, (re-groups), and short cuts for the ever growing knitting circle and that they should stay with him if they wanted to take them.  

As Sloppy was the hare he couldn’t carry out his Hash Curate roll so Ewok volunteered to continue her how to be a bastard be an RA training having done a good job last week.

The Pack were directed to the start of the trail which was an alley leading to the street behind the pub – so far so good!  A quick dog leg and we were off on a footpath downhill towards the old railway line / river Ash. For the first and only time Fliptop was hobbling along leading the pack.

Now at the first check by the river is where I think it all went wrong.  The main pack started following “hash trail blind” Sparky the wrong way on what was we latter discovered the “in trail”.  It took some time for the Hare to turn the pack round and back up the hill towards the church and through Widfordbury farm. Unfortunately a couple of cunning old hashers, (Spermhead and Sludge) seemed to have failed to hear the “on back” call. (Accidently on purpose me thinks!!)

Along the way ex local boy Paxo (born in Widford) informed me and a few other hashers ambling along with us that the grass bank behind Widford village to our left was kept as a rabbit warren to provide food for the local lords and ladies and other big wigs leaving the poor hungry village peasants to survive like Baldrick on Turnips. (I made the Turnip bit up J).

Anyway back to the trail which led alongside the B1004 towards the old railway station – now a coal yard – on the double bend.  Here Kylie informed me that this was where he used to buy his coal when he was rich, now he is reduced to decimating the local forests for wood to fuel his open fire / back boiler. (Just a joke Jeff J) He did tell me that the coal they use at railway for his engine was imported from a small, still working mine in Wales.  [It is a fact that UK Coal, especially Welsh Coal is a far better cleaner burn than the cheap brown east European imported stuff! – Ed]

As we trudged along on the trail, now running alongside the old railway line, with the knitting circle behind and the half dozen hashers still able to run out in front, Kylie further informed me that British Rail (now Railtrack??) are still responsible for the upkeep of structures such as bridges etc on the disused lines.  You hash, you learnJ.

The next check was negotiated with the pack now heading along Upper Crackney Lane towards Little Blakesware.  On a bit further to another check and I think this one had the hare handing out some very welcome jelly babies.

On again to a check by Barrow Farm where the trail split into L or SC. Roughly equal numbers of hounds took the long and short routes.  Short Cutters took the down the slope past Barrow Hill and back to the bank of the River Ash and finally along a now familiar track to where the initial cock-up was made.  It was then uphill to the On Inn and back to the pub on the old out trail.  No short cuts back into the pub garden at the landlady’s request.

It was good to be in a traditional village pub that was not pretending to be an up market restaurant, just booze and pub games.  Thanks to the land lady who gave us generous helpings of cheese and biscuits.

A few of our number had escaped before the circle.  Sludge to watch the rugby in the comfort of his own home, My Little I think for similar reasons or was he just bored with only being able to have one pint as he was driving??

Sorry that Sloppy couldn’t make the circle as the pack had really enjoyed the trail – please don’t be upset that we cocked it up.

As mentioned earlier Ewok took on the roll of RA after the Hash Master had toasted the Hash.  As Mr X was not there he threatened to waffle on and recite a poem but Mrs Mallet put a stop to that – thank goodness J.

Down downs went Max Factor for walking in cow pats, Pebbledash for being smutty – no surprise here then, Lobby Lobster for lack of dog control when we had to put them on leads due to being in an area of bird cover. (Poor old Louie is a bit deaf and look a bit confused as the leading hashers chased after him).

The Hashit Shirt when to Sparky (again) for upsetting the locals blowing his horn and running around like lost soul.

That’s it as best as I can remember folks!