Date =                            24th October 2015

Run Number =            1645                                                                                                                                     

Venue =                        Harlow Mill PH

Location=                    Old Harlow

Beer =                           Doombar & others

Hares =                         A G O & Heapo (Essex)

Runners =                    25

Virgins =                       0

Visitors =                      Joint Run with Essex           

Après Hashers =         0

Newies =                       0

Hounds =                      3

Total =                          28

Membership =             Excited!



The Event


Never again will I complain about Tentpacker’s long winded introductions. This Essex one must have been at least 5 minutes – though it did incorporate drinks all round as part of the United Nations Beer drinking day – peace through beer or something. [Yep that’s why some of H4 where out in Belgium! – Ed]

The usual faces were there from Essex, Fergus, Vicky Vomit, Casey Jones, Lunchbox & Sooty - so too Herts Alfa Male, Max Factor, Lofty, Kylie this including Fliptop and Mumblehead and their bitches. Sludge missed the start, somehow he found himself on the road to Chelmsford, well I say missed the start but only by about 30 minutes.

So, some few minutes past 11.00am the pack headed off.  All crossed the road at the robots (that one is for MILF) and most headed off along the footpath past the apartment block on the north side of the river. This turned out to be a falsie with the true trail heading up the road towards Sawbridgeworth and Pishiobury Park entrance.

Here by the Park a check was found, cleverly laid by the hare as all three obvious possibilities – continuing up the road towards Sawbridgeworth, West towards High Wych or East through Pishiobury Park were found to be false.

Eventually the FRB’s noticed that if you crossed at the lights and doubled back on yourself the trail headed back down Rowney gardens to Chaseways.

Here the FRB’s caught up with the walkers on a bridal path leading up by the houses (which even I didn’t know were there), in a westerly direction.  A footpath to the right led behind the houses gardens that line Wheatley Crescent for some distance before another check was found. Here the FRB’s regrouped having been taken by the Hare first north then south, then north again in the form of an elongated ‘S’. Unbeknown to them, the walkers had carried on up the bridle path to shortcut by some distance the route to the held check and sweetie.

By the time the runners had reached them, they had followed the High Wych Road past the Rivers Hospital, past the Rising Sun pub in the village centre, past the church and Manu’s primary school and negotiated a rather dangerous section of road with no pavements before heading back West across a ploughed field.  I imagine it was probably a mile more than the walkers to get to the same scenic spot.  From this undesignated scenic spot, a slightly lofted perch, the fields could be seen crossing the flatlands towards Wales.

After Essex’s version of lucky Arsenal sweets the trail took the pack round the edge of several fields before coming out onto Redricks Road, From here the short took the easy route down to the river, whilst the long had the runners fighting their way through an avenue of brambles towards the fishing and open water swimming lakes in Redricks Farm.

On past the lakes in Redrick’s Farm. Ouch, owtch. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh could be heard as they wendled their way, especially from Milf who seemed to get more pricks than others. [Whoa there Pebbledash! – Ed]

On reaching the river, the pack joined some runners doing a 30 mile or kilometre run (big difference so I wait to be advised which it was) as the trail headed east to complete the loop at the back entrance to the pub beside the lock.

A good trail of just under 5 miles completed in not much more than an hour.

I’ve not used many names here – so as I don’t get complaints, other runners were, sort of Sludge, Alfa Male, Max Factor, Lofty, Kylie and Sloppy seconds ( that’s me).




Essex did quite a few and managed to include Sludge for lateness and Milf in their list.

Herts included Sludge again, not for being late, but in being late for being Mr know-all and heading in a westerly loop through Pishionbury Park and back along the river from that direction. A trail of some 30 minutes he told me.

MILF for her episode with the brambles which I got slightly wrong by taking the hit for her (as she was driving) and announcing ‘Here’s to the prick’ and finally the best of the day to Alfa Male for wearing what can only be described as, at a minimum, ladies’ looking black tights under his shorts of which Sparky and the cast of Shakespeare in Love would be proud.  Yes, I did say Alfa Male !!!!!!!!

TBT turned up after all had finished – so that Down-Down is in the bank.


An Essex raffle and some stopped to eat and the day was over – enjoyed by all.