Date = 22nd November 2015
Run Number = 1649
Venue = The Motte & Bailey
Beer = Good Old Boy; GK IPA; London Pride
Hares = Porky Pie
Runners = 15
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 15
Membership = All hail our new conkerer!
Considering that there was Snow on Saturday morning, it was good that it was another fine & sunny Sunday which greeted those who made it out to the pretty village of Pirton, this week saw Pepé le Pew put in appearance, the first for quite some time & which was apparently to contradict the accusations that Pebbledash had “Done him in & that he was actually under the patio!” Mr X said that there was now a missed opportunity to have a Friday 13th Trail in Ware!
In the Pub Car Park Paxo was heard to cry out “Oh no! I didn’t glue my shoes!” as he got out his Hash boots to see a dangly floppy thing in front of his eyes, & then there was the sight of the sole hanging off of one of his Hash Shoes! [There you go Pebbledash! – Ed]
Pepé le Pew handed around a hipflask of a very nice rum, this led on to the GM & Hash Beer getting their respective flasks out & sharing around more grog, those who imbibed would now have to run & burn off the Alcohol! Mr X gave this a miss for the time being, to avoid indigestion while running.
So, Tent Packer got things under way across from the Motte & Bailey, as the Pack circled up on the Great Green with its red & white candy striped may pole at its centre, there were still a few small remnants of the snow remaining in the shadows of tufts of grass or other places of shade from the warmth of the sun.
After the GM’s spiel, the Hare was called forward & so began a tale that was no doubt full of ‘ginger herrings’ as Porky Pie came out with ‘facts’ that included him not knowing where he was going – as he had no map, so he didn’t know how long the Trail was, he also claimed that encountered an elderly tractor driver with Parkinson’s cutting hedges along part of the Trail, there was a busy road to cross twice, & finally there would be a Sweetie stop.
The Trail began with the Pack heading away north-eastward through the village, a CHK was soon found down Crabtree lane, from here there were several options, with My Lil’ searching down the footpath at the dead-end of the cul-de-sac off of Crabtree lane, while Mr X looked down the other footpath of an alleyway out to the High Street. These two were called back as the Trail was found up to a footpath by the local War Memorial on the corner of the hedged-in Church grounds.
An arrow pointed the way up the couple of stone steps in to the Graveyard, there were plenty of calls of “Shut the Gate!” from Milf & Mr X, but Sparky was not on Hash Duty this week so there was not too much to worry about. The Trail led through the graveyard & then turned to run along the southern side St Mary’s Church,
This ancient Church has a lack of stain glass windows which was the result of a V1 (Doodle-bug) flying bomb shattering all of the glass. No doubt a result of the false information sent back to Germany in WWII to deliberately make the Germans think that they V1s were falling short & to save London from anymore damage.
‘Hash Hush’ was observed as a service was taking place in the Church. Again it was fortunate Sparky wasn’t here as he probably would have blown his horn outside the Church doors! Which could have made the Verger think that his organ was slightly flat [Steady now Pebbledash! – Ed] with a few of the notes!
The Trail left the Churchyard & once through the gate in the holly hedge, the Pack found two arrows to mark a Short Cut & the Long Trail. Things were a little confusing here, until the Hare arrived to cleared things up explaining that the arrows appeared to show the wrong options. Porky Pie showed the Keenies the way out toward second part of the High Street at the eastside of the Common, while Fliptop & TBT OBE chose the Short Cut option of heading further southward over the enclosed area of common.
There were plenty of large fresh soft & squidgy pats from the small herd of large, hairy coated black cattle, no doubt the culprits for dropping these landmines all over the long grassy area. Out on east end of the High Street & Pepé le Pew wasn’t as sure a Sloppy Seconds & Max Factor in searching up the lane. When they both stopped to look at something on the lane, Pepé said “I don’t trust him, he’s making out that there’s something there, when there isn’t!” He was partly correct as it wasn’t Trail there but a little further on Dust was found by another gate in to the enclosed common.
The SCBs could be seen over the opposite side of the common, as they disappeared down the corresponding gate at the end of the path, the Hare now run up to join the Keenies on the way over the undulating land through the centre of the common, with small hillocks & a separating ditch that was once a part of the moat that surrounded the Motte & Bailey that once stood here. Porky Pie began to call the SCBs back from a path that had no Dust on it!
The Trail actually veered over the Common to the south then out through the wall & on to Walnut Tree lane, there Mr X knew that there was a footpath just off of the bend where the Hitchin Road joins Walnut Tree lane, he was soon on to the footpath heading south-westward straight between two crop fields, Dust was found & so began a long trot all the way down to southwest, but on the way Mr X pointed out to the Pack a small Bird of prey in the adjacent field to the west, & this had caught something small & was ripping it up to eat.
The Trail reached a split in the path, from here Mr X & Tent Packer set off down the north-westerly direction toward the track running southwest to northeast behind the tree-line in the distance. It was a long way until the RA stumbled upon the Bar CHK!
Being so far ahead of the rest of the Pack, it would take Mr X a long time to catch up, especially as after going around the bend in the opposite end of the path, the path turned to pass through the kissing gate below the farm out buildings of High Down House, it was now a steady uphill climb that would slow him up with his almost grip-less Hash shoes.
The Trail was heading toward the southeast corner of Tingley wood & as Mr X reached the plateau of the ridge he could see Kylie & Paxo ahead of him, then Paxo decided that he would go off at a tangent near the corner of the wood as he flop, flop, flopped to one side. Kylie & Mr X called him back on to the south-bound track out of the corner of the field beside Tingley Wood, once through the gate at the end the Hash saw a drop along the edge of the tree-line leading to the Pirton Road on its way toward Hexton.
After a slight change of direction through the wooded embankment by the road the Hash emerged out to a gap on the very edge of the tarmac, for the RA it was again a case of getting left behind as the Traffic seemed to have built up as he patiently waited to cross the busy road. Finally there was a break long enough to get over to the rising footpath up over Hanging Hill this turned a few degrees west off of due south as it heads over the hill to Wellbury.
A CHK almost at the summit of the Hill was marked with a Short Cut by the time the RA made it to this point, so he followed on with Floppy Paxo as they continued well behind the SCBs of My Lil’, Fliptop & Sloppy Seconds on the westward path that skims the southern end of Shrub Wood. Once through the tree-line the Short cut took a gentle drop down through a field of small but smelly brassicas.
Meanwhile the Keenies headed down the hillside with the Hare, the likes of Milf, Alfa Male, Max Factor, Tent Packer, Pepe le Pew, Pebbledash & Ewok who were all on the long trail on a part of the Chiltern Way & out by Park View near to Well Bury House, a change in direction now took place to bring them on to the narrow tarmac lane out to through the bottom of the valley between Well bury Hill Markham’s Hill & on toward Pirton road, this would see the FRBs running almost due north until reaching the a Held CHK where the SCBS were patiently waiting.
The Hare arrived at the scene & he said that the afore mention ‘Sweetie Stop’ would not be here but would take place a few hundred yards further along. So, the Likes of Mr X & My Lil’ led the way up to the end of the lane & then over the Pirton road, then through the hedgerow as the continuation of the footpath on the opposite side became a part of the Icknield Way
The Trail would rise up along the side of the open field & passing by the west side of Tingley wood there was a large legend written out in flour at the top of the ridge, this read “Jelly Babbies this way” with an arrow pointing over to a gap in the hedgerow that overlooks the beautiful panorama below of Hertfordshire to the right & Bedfordshire to the left, for the path actually runs along the county borders.
This was also another cue for the hip-flasks to come out & this time the RA was amongst those taking part, since the majority of the Trail was complete in his opinion. With a sip of Rum loosening his lips, Mr X recalled the time Reg Holdsworth, which brought a “Who?” from most of the Pack [I thought he said “I’ll be back!” around 7 years ago? – Ed] had set a Trail from the Raven at Hexton, which led out of the Pub, across the road & then after crossing a short field led up to the top of the sugar loaf hill directly to the west of the Pub! It was a killer start for a Monday Night, never to be forgotten by those who endured this climb up Butts Hill! [Steady Pebbledash! - Ed]
A photo stop was had just a few yards in to Beds, with the Pack standing with the view of Knocking Hoe [No Pebbledash! – Ed] National Nature Reserve below, this area is like a jigsaw puzzle piece of the two counties, with a little lug of Herts fitting neatly in to the cut out of Beds.
Once Fliptop was up with the Pack & had his Jelly Babies, it was time to move
on, the Hare shouted out “If anyone finds a crumpled up Tenner its mine! As he
had lost one on his way down, the news of this suddenly motivated My Lil’ like
Sloppy Seconds Scrooge before his enlightenment as he & Mr X both
immediately headed off down the border once again.
Now on its north-easterly direction, the Trail was picked up & after a few hundred yards the Wood lane Track broke away with a turn of some 30° to start on the long run down back in to Herts. This almost ‘straight as a die’ run was tree lined all the way as it led down from the hillside & then back on to the level into Pirton, it was noticeable the that this year there is an abundant crop of Sloes, Tent Packer mentioned that he has already kicked off several litres of this back at his home! [Can’t wait for the Christmas Lunch! – Ed]
Alfa Male now passed the slower & older RA on the way down to the Prior’s Hill road becomes the Hitchin road on the bottom of the village, there was no sign of Porky Pie’s Tenner! The On Inn was found just before the road that on the elft is Prior’s Hill road & on the right the Hitchin road, a family out walking saw & heard the approaching Keenies & they had sussed that the Dust was a Trail the Pack were following. [Which makes a change from the Numpties who think that it poison be set down! – Ed]
The Pack entered the village that was first mentioned in the Doomsday Book, Pirton was then known as Peritone meaning 'Homestead of Pears’ they run on by the Whipping Post on one part of the Green & then the Keenies were slowed up as they met up with a large group of Greyhounds being walked, these beautiful hounds were being exercised by the Greyhound Trust, they too were heading to the Pub for a well earned drink!
In the Pub the Pack were in awe of Paxo with his new smart-phone, with its bright new colourful lights & icons, there was talk of the Late Cynthia Payne before attentions were turned to the other colourful thing in the Pub was the framed bright orange Luton Town FC Signed Shirt that was in their major sponsor of the Easyjet colours, Porky Pie had to get a photo with this hanging above his head.
After the first pint in the nice warm Pub, most of the Pack went outside to get the Annual Conker Contest out of the way, it was several weeks over-due. Well, Sloppy Seconds was deposed & his Conker Crown slipped in the first Defeat! The numbers were slowly whittled down, with the exception of Mr X & Alfa Male whose conkers seemed to be indestructible & they finally ground to a halt, while others felt the cold & wanted it to finish as quickly as possible.
With Mr X & Alfa Male in a stale-mate match, a final that Max Factor won in an outcome was that we now have a Conker Queen, Max Factor was presented with a neckless of conkers [Whoa there Pebbledash! – Ed] & a Herts Hash Conker trophy that My Lil’ had made.
The Down-Downs included the Hare, who couldn’t ‘Man-up’ & down his cold pint, he was put to shame by the new Conker Queen, as well as Paxo for his wearing a Flip-flop around the Trail