Date =                            24th January 2016

Run Number =            1660                                                                                                                                     

Venue =                        McPaxo Hoose

Location=                     Ware

Beer =                           Lidl Bottled Ales & a Decent German Weiss Beer.

Hares =                         Paxo

Runners =                     7

Virgins =                       1

Visitors =                      0                                        

Après Hashers =         0

Newies =                       0

Hounds =                      1

Total =                          19

Membership =             Celebrating Rabbie Burns!


Thus Week’s trash is by nan oor Special Scribe, nane ither thin Oor Wullie


Hoots Mon!  Pandemonium reigned in the McPaxo hoose-held o’ this braw mornin’, fae plenty a Numpties dinae reed the weekly emails aboot the Burns Supper an’ numbers bein’ required fae quantities ae fud.  McPaxo wis oan the blower tae Mr X the day afore an’ yon morning, saying yon portions wud be diminishing wae Milf, Kylie an’ Sloppy Secods aw letting him knaw at the last minute, the RA reassured him he wud hae enough fud tae g’aroond.

            This week saw Colin arrive fae his first Herts Hash Run, bein’ a mukker ae TBT OBE the RA said that the Hash wud probably lose him oot oan the Trail [Wha’ prophetic wurds tha wud turn oot tae be! – Ed] 

The Start wa’ delayed ‘til aroond 10 past the hour due tae thaes getting the omnibus up tae Tower Road, as we aw ken this is the oanly mode ae transport that can negotiate any snaw at such an altitude – whilk gaees against Paxo’s claimed ae getting snawed in an’ marooned up Thare oan Tower Hill in the harsh bleak mid-winter

The Pack circled up an’ wur treated tae Ewok bein’ encouraged tae draw the Hash Markings oan the path ootside ae the Hoose fae the benefit ae Colin, while Paxo blethered awn ta confuse elaborate things tae help oot the Noowie, bit it wisnae clear if any ae this wis heard by Colin o’er Koda’s howling.  It mae alsae hae bin a guid idea tae explain that aw the CHKS wud be marked if ye gaet lost!

Afore sleep set in, the Hash wur ushered awa’ doon Parnel road while Paxo scuttled back intae the Kitchen.  The Hash ran tae the junction wi Cromwell road as it comes rinsing up fae the soothwast, Alfa Male an’ Pepé le Pew wur up amongst the FRBs tae find the Trail the short way up Cromwell road an’ then aff tae Beechfield road.  The Dust led oan by prior’s Wood School then it turned aff oan tae the short deed-end Beacon road, whaur the more seasoned Hashers ken Thare werra footpath running thro’ the small recreation ground ahint.

The Pack passed by the swings an’ saeme noticed that thare wisnae big slide, or pish producing spinning taerture device amongst the playground furniture.  Sae, it wis oot thro’ the gap in the sootheastern corner ae the hedge tae emerge oot oan the edge ae the crop fields tae the east ae north end ae Ware.

The gaeing wud noo become rather tricky in places, fae thae wha dinnae wear the auld Mudclaw 3,000 or the equivalent, an’ the reason fae this wisnae jist the amount ae rain we hae hud recently bit the fact yon drainage ditches aroond the fields hae jist bin cleared oot tae try an’ alleviate saeme ae the standing water whaur the crops are, a lot ae the silt an’ ither bits ae debris covered the footpaths.

Colin wis running alang wi Max Factor as the FRBs approached the slight bend in Shiggy path oan the way tae haid sootheastward tae CHK tae at the saeothern end ae Jackson’s Grove, he wis asking aboot her Hash Name.  While Pepé le Pew went wrong oan the Wood lane Track beside the wooded area, Alfa Male picked up the Dust awa’ tae the Soo-soothwast o’er the crop fields, the strang heevie reek a’ barriscas hung ‘n the air.

The Dust led oan tae a CHK by a point whaur a footpath haids back o’er the fields intae the east end ae Ware’s housing estates, bit this wis ignored in preference ae continuing as the Track chaynged direction by a few degrees tae haid due sooth.  At the next CHK, oan a cross-roads wi anither footpath bound o’er tae Ware, Alfa Male wud gae wrong as he tuek tae the easterly part ae the intersecting footpath.

Pepé le Pew, Milf an’ Sparky noo tuek up the mantle ae leading the way, as the wide Ferm track moved thro’ the slight kink in its route doon tae the Widbury hill road, an arrow directed the Hash straight o’er the road an’ oan thro’ Widbury Hill Ferm.

Sloppy Seconds, wha has bin absent fae a few weeks in Australia, wis slightly aff ae the pace ae the FRBs, though saeme thought that this wisnae doon tae fitness bit jist a ploy tae show aff his sun-tan, whilk hud bin admired by Milf amongst ithers.

Awa’ fae the Ferm ootbuildings, an’ by the hidden hilltop pond, the path became a dry, stony, hard capped track oan a sooth bound course, this wud caw tae the sootheast oan the descent ae the hillside an’ oan tae a CHK by a Footpath sign, Ewok marked Short Cut oan the northbound footpath by the end ae Widbury Wood. 

Colin kept running the descent as the Trail dripped doon, while Max Factor slowed up.  Mr X arrived at the crest ae the hill an’ keeked Colin oan the same footpath yon Pepé le Pew ran aff oan, wi this wastbound option disappearing thro’ the hedgerow tae Holywell road, nae doubt Pepé le Pew wis thinking yon Trail wis the reverse ae previous McPaxo Trail doon taeward the allotments.  Pepé le Pew tuek Sparky, Milf an’ Alfa Male wi him.

Mr X fun the correct route o’er Holy Cross road, bit in the ither direction o’er tae the sooth wast, a quick dash o’er the tarmac an’ he wis intae the end ae the Lea Valley Park.  The Dust led the doon the tree-lined avenue like drive taeward the lochs an’ waterways, then it wis a hairpin caw oan tae the auld Railway line whilk is a’maist hidden by the trees an’ bushes oan either side.

Sae, a complete chaynge in direction tuek place tae haid Northeastward under the road bridge an’ then up thro’ the gloamin’ route that wis once the branch line tae Buntingford, affectionately ken as the ‘Bunt’ [Saeund a wee bit rude tae me? – Ed] this wud hae travelled up tae whaur Kylie lives bit wis closed tae passenger traffic in 1964 an’ freight in 1965.

Oan the opposite side ae the road the former way crossed o’er the river Ash, saemething that caused a few problems in the lines design.  The Trail moved oan thro’ the wastern finger ae Easneye Wood, efter this it moved oan tae a CHK by wha the Short Cut path wud join the FRBs loop, Mr X ignored this path an’ continued alang tae the northeast as the path ran closer by the river as the Ash win’s its way aroond Mead Wood. 

Mr X’s luck wud soon chaynge as the Trail came oot intae the open haughs, fae he minded Ewok mentioning an ‘optional river crossing’ sae he haided northward oan the path o’er the haugh tae a bend in the serpentine like Ash, bit nae Dust wis fun.

Pepé le Pew, Alfa Male an’ Sparky aw caught up an’ soon gaet ahaid ae Mr X as thay stuck wi northeastward route up taeward Lady Grove Wood, it wis alang here yon lood “Aaargh!  Aaaaargh!” wae heerd fae Pepé le Pew a’ ‘A mark ae respect’ fae the auld Railway line’s history [It wae probably Steam in thae days?  ‘Twas Aulden days, ask Sparky! – Ed]

 The Dust moved awa’ fae the burn’s side jist aa’r the weir in the wooded area, the FRBs started a lang trot oan o’er the lush green haugh, a couple ae dug walkers wur oot bit apart fae yon peaceful an’ serene run, only punctuated wi the odd “On! On!” or a blast ae Sparky’s Horn!  A’lest thae wae nay coos or hairses ta require a Hash Hush!!

The Trail passed thro’ a wide open gate tae tak’s tae a hard capped drive way leading oan by the solitary home at the bottom ae the wooded ridge, the RA pointed oot the Satellite dish that wis aboot 200 yards awa’ fae the home tae allow the satellite fitprint nae tae be obscured by the steep, high, tree-covered ridge.  The Dust led oan past a footpath cutting diagonally o’er the field in front ae the bit and ben, an’ jist beyond the home a CHK wis fun in the corner ae haugh.

As Pepé le Pew an’ Alfa Male picked up the Trail doon taeward the ford in the Ash, afore Water’s Place Ferm, Sparky’s bu’heid glistened as he wae gittin’ waam an’ he removed his tout on this humid morn, he wis still catching up aroond yon 90° caw, while ithers wha keeked a chaynge in direction wud use the diagonal path tae cut oot the corner ae the field.

The FRBs decided that thay wud haud a regroup afore crossing the ford, nane ae ‘em realised that thay hud run oan by the Held CHK sam way back oan the Trail, whilk accounted fae the fact why it seemed tae be a lang stretch wioot a break an’ that the rest ae the Hash wur sae far ahint them.

It wis a lang wait fae the rest tae catch up, bit time wisnae wisted as, efter wading thro’ the ford, Pepé le Pew returned an’ claimed that his feet wur noo feeling warm as he affered aroond his hip-flask ae Port, an’ wi it a’maist bein’ Burns’ night more drink wis oan hand as Mr X hud his hip-flask ae the single peaty Ardbeg malt tae affer aroond. 

Pepé le Pew said that Thare shud be a game ae Pooh-sticks oan the bridge o’er the weir, whilk he wis delighted tae win af’r Mr X an’ My Lil’s sticks baith gae stuck in the birling eddy a’ the weir ae the burn in full flow.

A silver four ba four came splashing thro’ the ford, whilk raised a cheer fae the Hashers a’ the river’s edge, the Range-Rover haided o’er tae the But n’ Ben thay hud passed earlier a’ the ither end ae the haugh.  Milf, Paul, No Eye Deer, Max Factor, Kylie, Sloppy Seconds an’ then Back Pack aw arrived at the regroup, an’ it saeon became obvious yon Colin wisnae langer wi the Pack!

Sae, it wis time fae a quick snifter fae the noo arrivals while thay alsae awaited the SCBs tae arrive, Pebbledash hud noo rid herself ae walkin’ Koda an’ wis daunderin’ alang wi 2-1-2 Maureen.  Koda hud bin tak’n home by Spillage.

Pepé le Pew questioned the RA’s eyesight as he said that he hud keeked a couple ae figures in the distance, bit by the time Pepé le Pew looked up thay wur obscured by the small ridge in the landscape afore the But n’ Ben.  Eventually Pebbledash an’ 2-1-2 Maureen came intae everyone’s view an’ then thay suddenly disappeared intae the But n’ Ben grounds.

When it came tae resuming the Trail, Pepé le Pew decided yon Pack shud gae thro’ the ford oan Thair Hands an’ knees like he wis doing!  saeme whaur a bit wiser, like Mr X wha waded thro’ ahaid ae the rest at the front, a wise move indeed fae My Lil’ cuidnae resist kicking water oo’r the prostrate Pepé le Pew, this started a water rammy wi Alfa Male getting involved an’ Sparky running thro’ tae avoid getting wet, bit he almaist came a cropper when he came oot the ither side.  Aw wa’ a wee drookit aftae.

Milf an’ Max Factor turned back an’ waited fae the Bullies tae move oan!  Kylie hung back too an’ fae the vantage point oan the bridge tae tak’s photos’ ae the whole incident.  Oot ae the burn an’ the Trail passed thro’ the Ferm grounds, this maun hae bin like a small village at wan point as Thare wur twa oot buildings ae a Mission Hall an’ a Post Office. 

Alfa Male wis straight up the drive tae a CHK, he turned aff ae the drive in favour ae the footpath aff tae the east yon wis the auld line up tae Mardock’s Station (Wareside), bit My Lil’ an’ Mr X preferred using local knowledge an’ haiding up tae the Wareside road an’ crossing this tae the Ferm drive, the latter twa wud fun the Dust yon way.

The enthusiasm tae run hud dwindled greatly a’er such a lang wait at the regroup, bit most ken yon it wis alsae wisnae that far tae get back fae this point.  The Trail followed the Ferm track as it moved slightly wast aff ae due north, My Lil’ fun a lost toy whilk he said cuid be sewn oan tae the possible replacement fae the absent Hashit?

 The Hash wud find the next CHK up by New Hole Ferm, the twa options fae Falsie wur ignore in favour ae moving oan by the Neighbouring Swales an’ passing the JCB that hud bin used tae clear the local ditches an’ leave lots ae mud aw over the normally drier hard capped track. 

It wis here yon Ewok wis fun coming back doon tae meet the Pack, she re-iterated the fact that it wis Paxo’s Trail an’ he wis responsible fae Colin gaeing missing!  The Pack cuid hear her protestations as thay haided wastward as the Wood Lane track rose slightly.

Efter passing three Ladies oot fae a ramble, arrows wur fun directing the Hash aff intae Jackson’s Grove, the gaeing wiin the wood wis really hard, it wis boggin Shiggy tae wade thro’ bit even the keenest ae the Keenies gave up trying tae run this part.  A couple oot walkin’ Thair dug wae surprised tae keek such a sight as the Hash Trauchlin’ oan thro’ the deep mud, nae far beyond wae the Oan inn wae fun.

The Trail finally tuek tae the oot Trail at the end ae Jackson’s Grove tae make its way back intae Ware.  The Host thought that Thare mae nae be enough Ale fae everywan, as he wisnae expecting sae mony tae caw oot, sae the Doon-Doons wur put aff fae a second week.  McPaxo confirm Colin hae caeme back to the hoose, but didnae stay as he went off ta watch the fitbah!

The RA wis asked why he wisnae dressed up in his finery, again wi a low amount ae replies tae the weekly email it wis assumed the pack wud be aroond eight in total, sae noo formal attire, bag-pipes or Scottish music – however Thare wis plenty ae Single Malt an’ Haggis tae gae aroond.  Paxo wis surprised wha much ye get oot ae four haggis when thay are cooked an’ opened up!

The Fud wis guid, an’ Thare wa’ more than enough far second helpings that the Pack wae stappit, even efter McPaxo minded the Black-pudding he left ‘neath the grill!  Thare wae plenty ae naughty banter an’ it wae nae wonder Backpack spent most ae his time upstairs as McPaxo put oan his music channel whilk seemed tae be slightly pornographic, much tae 2-1-2 Maureen’s distain an’ everywan else’s amusement.

Sparky amused the Hash wi’ tryin’ tae gerrin’ the cludgie, no since th’as nae lock awn the daar.

Lang May Ya Lum Reek!