Date =                            7th March 2016

Run Number =            1666                                                                                                                                     

Venue =                        The Engineer’s Arms

Location=                     Henlow

Beer =                           a Dozen Ales including; Teignworthy Reel Ale; Salamander Astral Cow; Gundog Booze Hound;

                                        Magpie Thieving Rogue; Black Country Pig on the Wall! Plus 8 Ciders including Moon’s Moon Farmhouse

Hares =                         My Lil’

Runners =                    12

Virgins =                       1

Visitors =                      0                                        

Aprčs Hashers =         1

Newies =                       0

Hounds =                      3

Total =                           17

Membership =              Not a Kronenbourg in sight!


As it was Mother’s Day the turnout was expected to be low, but those who did make it managed to get the numbers in to double figures, adding to this week’s count was Tim, who lives locally & is a friend of Colin’s.  A few faces were missing this week, but as the RA pointed out that it was Mother’s Day & Paxo was probably being treated to a meal out by Backpack!

It was noticeably colder once on the northern side of the Chilterns, with the temperature being in the ‘high’ 8 degrees, while those arriving in cars with modern technology soon saw this outside temperature drop to a lowly 3 in Beds, it was enough to make the GM turn out in his Russian Ushanka Hat, which reminded some of a TV advert with a short sighted vet mistaking such a hat for a dead cat, which had Fliptop doing a word perfect rendition of the script!

Anyhow, the Pack Circled up & the Grand Monkey impeccably carried out the welcoming speech, getting the Run Number correct, then it was over to the Hare to tell the Pack what they could expect to experience out on the Trail.  Talk of a Short Cut (Singular) led on to there being one Held CHK & then there were busy roads to watch out for when crossing them.  Finally, without further ado the Pack were shown the way down the High Street to the south.

From the outset the RA tried to explain the Hash Markings to Tim, who admitted that he had already taken a look at the Herts Website & had a slight idea of what to expect.  [At least someone looks at our Webshite! – Ed], Colin added that he just followed on with the rest of the FRBs, Tim concluded by saying that he would be alright as he lives in Henlow & so he couldn’t really get lost!  Yet Mr X recalled the time TBT OBE got lost on his own Trail in a wood on his own doorstep in Ware!

The Trail change from the east to the west side of the street & then off down through Chestnut Farm & over on to Brook Close.  At the dead-end of Brook Close the Trail had the Pack clambering the set of wooden steps that span the watery brook below, Alfa Male led the way out in to the farm fields to the west of the High Street.

Now on a slippery slip like clay path over to the northwest, the Trail led on through the field of seedlings, Alfa Male, Colin, Tent Packer, Max Factor & Milf were all slowed up by a CHK point at the junction with an off-shoot of a path heads in to the small housing estate of Chiltern Way, off of the main Clifton road. 

This brief respite allowed the middle order of Sparky, No Eye Deer, Mr X & the Hare to catch up, while Lofty with Henry & Fliptop with Buster & Lucy weren’t too far out of sight before the Trail continued, with the Dust running along in the field all the way to where the path makes its way out of the northwest corner & on to the Clifton road where it becomes Broad street.

An arrow was discovered on the tarmac footpath, this started the Hash off into the southwest corner of the next Farm field, this directed the Hash along a farm track up along the edge of another crop field in a direction to the northeast, this route stuck by the hedgerow that had another watery ditch running alongside it.  It was a long trot to the next CHK in the opposite south-eastern corner of the field.

While on his way Mr X heard a loud panting noise coming up behind him, he turned around to see what kind of animal could be huffing & puffing away, it turned out to be Kylie making these bestial noises as he was putting in an effort to run this monring.                     

Alfa Male was soon off from the next CHK, along the north-western path over the fields to Clifton & he picked up Dust, so Milf, Colin, Tim, Tent Packer, Max Factor, & Sparky all tagged along behind him, they were figures in the distance to the back markers of No Eye Deer, Mr X & Kylie.  Further back were Henry, Lofty, Fliptop, Lucy & Buster.

The FRBs were now on a long Falsie out toward Brickle Place road out along the edge of Clifton, which was fine but for Mr X & Kylie this would be a slight problem as the colder temperature had both of them wanting to scare the squirrels in the wooded patch near the CHK, this scrubby area just happened to have the alternative footpath going through it & so these two had to weave their way in to the thicket to avoid scaring the Harriettes on their way back from the Falsie to cross the small wooden footbridge over the watery ditch.

The Trail crossed over the ditch & then headed north-eastward out of the thicket & over the crop field, to head back into the west side of Henlow, a CHK was found near to the couple of allotments at the end of Saxon Close.  The Hare was hoping that someone would search the footpath off on the other side of the allotments, in a direction toward the back of the small estate at the Stockbridge part of Henlow.  My Lil’ would be disappointed as Alfa Male would quickly pick up the Trail out over the north end of the High Street & on to the signposted gap in the dense hedgerow surrounding the local Pit Recreation Ground.

A rapid descent for some as they ran in to the ‘Pit’ on a fairly steep drop in to the park, then after a trot over the grassy playing field it was a clamber up the opposite slope of this bowl-like hollow below St Mary’s Church.  Max Factor pointed out that on one side of the play area was a climbing wall & a slide, but it wasn’t as big as the one on the Christmas Weekend Trail in Beccles, no sir!

Milf stood at the gate to the entrance at the Church end of the ‘Pit’ & she turned back to wave to Kylie, who was just coming down the other side.  All of this ‘lovey-doveyness’ must have clouded Milf’s perception as she started off away from the Church, which was the wrong way.  The Hare put Milf right as he marked the Trail down by the Church & on to the end of the road that bear’s its name, then on to the drive way from the north into the grounds of Henlow Grange.

As the Hash made their way down the driveway, with its iron railings on the outside of this tree-lined avenue, Mr X encouraged those around him to run & make the Hash look good, as well as waving to the inmates of Champney’s Health Club as the Pack passed by.  Alfa Male, Colin, Tim & Milf all fell foul of the CHK point in Henlow Park, situated at the T-junction of driveways near to the buildings of the Old Henlow Grange, in which Champneys now resides in. 

The FRBs were out of sight behind the tree-line on the way to Poppy Hill Farm by the time Mr X, Tent Packer, Max Factor, Sparky & the Hare all made their way along the drive, now knowing it was a Falsie off to the left, this group continued on passing by the front of the Champney’s, Dust was found on the fencing by the sports pitches of the nearby local School, but then it seemed to run out as Mr X & Co reached the main drive way of the Coach road enters the old Grange. 

The Hare would not be happy again as Mr X led the way further on a sou-sou-east direction, he was hoping that some would search down the Coach road but the Trail was picked up as the track became less of a hard-capped surface on its way out to Henlow Bridge Lakes.

A CHK was found just through the gate where the track enters one corner of the park, Mr             X said that he thought that the Trail would go around the lake on a loop out to the area across the waterway from where the small wooden accommodation units sit on.  The Pack would cross over the waterway a short way later on, along the way No Eye Deer heard stories from Tent Packer & Mr X about almost being stranded in Asian jungle & plantations on the Hash, seems that the GM had set a Trail in Langkawi & lost some of the Pack?

No Eye Deer was not impressed to hear about people being left behind by Hares in Malaysia at one InterHash, a group had to stick together as they were lost in the dark, setting off camera flashes to scare away the big beasties of the Jungle before the morning light came!  Mr X told of two different times when friends, Village Bike & She Mussel Bitch were both almost abandoned by the Hares on the respective Trails until he & TAF made the Hares go back to search for the lost sheep!

Anyhow, no more horror stories as the Trail continued out along the east side of the Fishing lakes to come out to a split in the Trail where a footpath breaks away from the south bound path toward the Arlsey road, the Trail turned westward & run along the inside of the Henlow Bridge Lakes park area, while the Short Cut was no more than a few paces out on to the edge of the A505 Arlesey road.  Kylie was with the Hare as they made their way out under the fly-over like bridge that lifts the main road away from the narrow lane into the Railway Station.

Mr X also took the Short Cut, since he had pinged something in one of his knees & he didn’t want to aggravate it, he overheard Kylie saying that he could spot some trains passing through the nearby Station, so the RA let him know that he wouldn’t see much as there was a replacement bus service until later that afternoon!  A disappointed Kylie continued around to the outbound exit from the Station, with Mr X & the Hare in tow.

While Kylie stuck to the outside of the stubby fat wooden bollards to prevent parking along this narrow lane, the other two kept to the road itself.  As the trio came out toward the entrance on to the south side of the A505, Mr X suddenly spotted the FRBs coming back around the loop which now led down the footpath along the north side of the Arlesey road.  The three of them quickly ducked down behind the embankment for the flyover so the Keenies wouldn’t spot them & simply cross over the busy main road.

About Five minutes passed by as the SCBs remain hidden behind the embankment, Mr X clambered up the parapet to peek over the top, Kylie said it was almost like a WWI trench & Mr X really needed a periscope!

Once Sparky was seen to scuttle by on the north side of the road, the two SCBs & the Hare continued with the Trail westward along the edge of the A505.  The FRBs had to pass by a poor dead badger at the side of the road as they looped around under the fly-over to join the Trail back behind the Hare.

An Arrow directed the Pack off to the south, which was in a direction away from where the On Inn was!  Mr X was tempted to give up on the Trail now & hobble away to the Pub, especially as it was now five minutes to opening time!  He was encouraged to continue with the Trail as it took to the long track down beside a wooded area to the west of the Glebe Meadow’s Nature Reserve.  In the distance a lone dog could be seen wandering about, but at the sight of the oncoming Pack the pooch kept a distance before eventually disappearing in to the local Farm.

Alfa Male & Colin soon passed by the wandering SCBs, they were followed by Milf & Tent Packer, as she passed by Mr X she handed him Sparky’s hat, one of his gloves & his horn! [Whoa there Pebbledash! We don’t need that on the Hash! – Ed] Mr X said that he would refrain from blowing Sparky’s horn! [Stop it Pebbledash! – Ed]

When Sparky caught up he wanted to know if anyone had found his horn, claiming that he had asked Milf to go back & pick it up after he left it on the ground, all after he had gone to scare the Squirrels!  This didn’t explain why his hat & one glove were also left behind?

The wind was pretty cold on this more open, exposed side fields south of Henlow.  No Eye Deer stopped to talk to a woman out walking, like Sparky earlier that morning they were doing their best to advertise the Hash & handing out cards.  Meanwhile, Alfa Male & Colin weren’t stopping (Yet!) as they ran on to a Bar CHK in the far off distance, Milf & Tent Packer were lucky not to be that far ahead but still had to turn back to meet the middle order of the Pack turning westward on a farm track along the northern wooded edge of the area that has middle water lake within.

The pace of the Hash was now down to a walking pace as the wind blew directly in to the faces of the Pack as they turned the corner to head northward back up toward the main road, there was a kink in this footpath just as it comes back beside Cityfield Farm, a quick left from the edge of the field cut across the seeded land & then at the dyke a right put the Pack back on course to the edge of the A505.

It took a while to cross the busy A505, but once over this the Dust led in to a small area of saplings to a point where a Held CHK should have been, but it had been kicked out but some numpty.  Fortunately for the Hare, the Keenies lost the Trail & were making their way back from the common area, this allowed the Pack to regroup & enjoy some Jelly Beans the Hare had supplied.

With only Fliptop, Lofty & their respective hounds missing, the Hare realised that the Pack were only minutes away from the nice warm, welcoming Pub, so he allowed the Hash to progress with the final stretch of the Trail, or was he worried that Fliptop had short-cutted back to his motor & gone off early with the Hare’s change of clothes in his boot? 

Mr X knew the way & it wasn’t found where Alfa Male, Milf & Colin had been earlier, instead the Trail took to an old footpath that is no longer visible due to the fact that it is surrounded by houses these days.  The Keenies were soon ‘On’ Trail as the path made its way from the cul-de-sac end of the cluster of homes to run on between the fenced off The Dairy (A fancy name for a new road where the local Dairy no doubt once stood?) & on the opposite east side Oak Drive, the On Inn was passed by just before this old path would emerge out on to Park lane, it followed this road around its right hand bend on the corner of the local Sports Ground.

On the way around to the alleyway beside the Engineer’s Arms, that connects Park Lane to the High street, Mr X said he was impressed at the new Sport Club House & asked if it was down to Lottery Money?  The answer from Tim was “No!” it seems that the locals raised the money themselves!  Makes you wonder why we play the Lotto, if it doesn’t get spent on things like this?

Anyhow, the returning Pack found Paul already ensconced within the Pub.  The Hare, who had left his bag in the Fliptop mobile had to wait some time to retrieve his change of clothes

Milf & Kylie had to leave before the Circle took place, only have a brief snifter.  Those who did remain had to endure the colder temperature now outside, though the RA remain pretty much underdressed for the occasion.  The Hare was rewarded for a good Trail, albeit with an unnecessary loop at the end.  Alfa Male & Colin were out for running the furthest, with Colin getting his more for the fact that he said “If I follow him (Alfa Male) I can claim to have run the same distance as his SatNav records!”

Max Factor & Alfa Male demonstrated the ‘Tittens’ that Milf had knitted, apparently they were designed around Max’s cup size?  At least Alfa Male now had warm fingers.

Tim had his first Down-Down for completing his first Hash, the Hashit was awarded to Sparky for losing his horn, hat & one glove on Trail, he protested about putting it down so he could scare the Squirrels but no one was interested in his protestation & the fact he tried to blame Milf!

Back in the warmth of the Bar & some played Jenga at one end of the tables, before the Pizzas arrived,, these seemed to be a popular choice, especially the pepperoni & jalapeńo one which was washed down with a nice Moon’s Moon Farmhouse Cider by two Full Moon Hashers!