Date = 14th March 2016
Run Number = 1667
Venue = The Sow & Pigs
Beer = Doombar; Adnams Broadside & Bitter
Hares = Ewok
Runners = 16
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 16
Membership = Having a smashing time!
It really seemed like Spring had sprung at last on this gloriously sunny morning, once the mist had been burnt away by the sun. The temperature was a lot milder & with only a slight cool breeze it was the idea day for a trot around the Herts Countryside.
There were lots of “Who’s he!” comments coming from the likes of Sludge, as they realised that the GM had moored up his boat & was back, all of which gave away their absence from the previous week. The GM may be back, but would this be his penultimate Circle for Herts Hash in that position? Find out next week after the Annual General P*ss-Up.
The Landlord had asked if the Hash could use the field across from the Pub to Park up in, this led to Sloppy trying to get his low to the floor two-seater up over the high roadside kerb, with only the front wheels up on the higher level the sills were close to the kerb, the RA suggested that Sloppy got someone lighter to drive the car in as it wouldn’t be as low with him in it? But then Sloppy had second thoughts & took the Sloppy-mobile back to the Pub Car Park. Alfa Male didn’t even consider taking his pride & joy out of the Pub car park, well not until the Circle was about to be called, he also left his car there before walking over!
Porky Pie came screaming down Poles lane by the Pub & then to an abrupt halt when they saw the Pack gathering in the field. With him were ARP, Neil & Louise, who the GM mistook for a couple of Virgins.
The GM did get the Circle underway once Sparky had stopped faffing about getting ready, Tent Packer got the correct Run Number for the welcoming speech, then it was over to the Hare. Ewok explained that the was some interfering constructive discussion on this Trail from Paxo as to where the Trail should go, Paxo was denying any such thing!
Ewok mentioned that it wasn’t the best Trail, since the household had been suffering from Flu. Mr X later said that it couldn’t be ‘Man-Flu’ as Paxo had caught it! Anyhow, there was mention of one big short-cut, a Held CHK with a sweet stop was also hinted at & without further ado the Pack were ushered away down the old ‘Poles lane’ to the west.
From the off the Pack were going to be split in to two distinct groups, the FRBs were up for a Run this morning as the Dust led along the old narrow single track lane that gently arcs around behind the peripheral buildings to the north of Hanbury Manor. The First CHK was found on the tarmac of the lane, Porky Pie, Neil & Alfa Male were soon off up the footpath up to the north through a treeline but this slightly meandering route would terminate in a T!
Continuing back on Poles lane the FRBs were still well ahead of the SCBs, even having to pull over to one side every so often to allow cars to pass by didn’t slow them up, at a break in the tree-line there was a splendid vista out over the valley to the north. The lane continued to slowly turn a few degrees at a time toward the south.
At the next CHK the Keenies were again lured away toward the northern valley, this was out over a part of a golf course, Sludge asked Mr X if he knew what golf course was a sit wasn’t one he had got stuck in a bunker on? Mr X said it could be a part of the Hanbury Manor set up, as it had a fair bit of land around these parts.
Max Factor & ARP were up ahead of the rest as the Trail continued along Poles lane, it was now entering the Home wood section of plantation on a southward direction toward the A10 Dual Carriageway, at least this was a downhill trot for the Hash & it also meant that the Keenies would get further away from, Sloppy Seconds Paxo, Pepé le Pew & Pebbledash, all four of them seemed a bit subdued this morning.
The RA chuckled to see ARP & Louise daintily tip-toe up the side high-ground to avoid the tract of Shiggy that covered most of the track through the woodland, he thought to himself that it was potential Down-Down material, while he just ploughed on through the Shiggy.
With the Shiggy now behind the Pack, the Trail passed under the Bridge supporting the A10 above, Sludge & Mr X both agreed that the vibrant graffiti here was pretty good & neither of them minded seeing this kind of thing in this environment. The Track of Poles lane was now on the Ware side of the A10 & a slight turn in its course would lead out in to the northwest end of Ware, the RA remarked that Fliptop used to live around these parts, on one of the side streets off of urban section of Poles Lane.
Before they knew it, the FRBs were on to the Held CHK, opposite the local Scout Hut, Colin decided that he would sit down at this point & looked to be removing something other than his foot from his Hash-boot, another potential Down-Down.
Ewok handed around bags of Sweets, which included Fruit Salads, Soft Chews & the classic Milk Bottles, the latter had Max Factor demonstrating the Dance moves that go with the Kelis’s Milk Shake Song, as well as singing a few of the lines to the lyrics. This certainly drew some attention & not just from the men in the Pack, anorther potential Down-Down for getting some excited.
Sparky arrived & was all of a fluster as he was now missing his SatNav, it was no longer on his wrist & as no one had found it up until this point he was going to wait for Sloppy Seconds, Paxo, Pepé le Pew & Pebbledash to arrive & see if they had discovered any lost property? When they arrived there would be more disappointment for Sparky, especaily as someone mentioned this could be a Down-Down!
Every so often the regrouped Pack again had to move to one side of the narrow shaded lane to allow cars out of the Scout camp. Someone mentioned the guy parked up in his 4 x 4 just a little way up from this point & wondered if he was waiting at a Dogging spot? Ewok said that they’d have to ask Paxo about that!
The Keenies set off once again in the only possible direction of heading down the lane toward the centre of Ware, but a set of double arrows directed the way up through the wooded embankment to the homes on Briarsdale on the edge of the plateau up above the lane, Alfa Male, Porky Pie, Colin & Neil were all up this route through the trees to a Bar CHK!
Back down on the lane & the Hare was extremely happy to have caught the now not so amused FRBs out, out to the end of the lane the Dust led & on to a CHK where it joins the main the old A10 Wadesmill road on a bend in the main roads direction. No one took the most direct route up the hill to the north, but instead the main consensus was to head southeastwardly down toward the Centre of Ware. No Eye Deer wondered where she was, so Mr X pointed out that the old Roebuck hotel was just at the end of the road they were heading down.
The Roebuck, base for the Herts 1500th Weekend is now being ripped down & will soon be gone, Mr X said that he hoped the staff there managed to all get employment after this, for they did the Hash proud when the 1500th was held there, the Food & service couldn’t have been faulted.
Some crossed the busy road at the traffic island well before the pelican crossing further down the road, as Mr X & others searched this east side of the road Paxo tried to call them back over to the west! No one was going to play with the traffic for Paxo’s amusement as Alfa Male was soon on to the Dust on the east side of the crossing & he would lead the way up to the northeast on Kingsway.
For some the pace slowed on the way up the hill of this suburban street, passing the shopping parade to reach a CHK where one end of Heath Drive leaves Kingsway. This didn’t hold the Keenies up as they were soon continuing down Kingsway & toward the bottom of Tower Hill, Mr X asked Ewok if the Hash were going to stop off for a cup of tea at Old Mother Hubbard’s? Ewok said that we weren’t going to pay a call to Chez Paxo!
With the kettle not being on at the Paxo household, the Trail would turn off through one of the entrances to the open common land behind the homes the Hash had passed earlier. From the south-eastern corner the Trail crossed the small brook & there a CHK awaited the Pack.
Ewok was concerned that there would be no Dust on this part of the Trail as dog walkers could have kicked it out, the RA said that she should do what he does & mark the Trail on any unpicked up dog’s eggs along the way, anyone kicking out the Trail wouldn’t do it too many times as they would soon get fed up with wiping sh*t off of their shoes!
Obviously the Trail, when it was picked up, headed diagonally north-westward across the heath, there were a few places Dust could be thrown on, in fact there were quite a few little doggy-landmines littering the way up to the opposite exit. Colin had just passed through a wide gap in the hedgerow, when he was soon stopped in his tracks by Ewok shouting out “Colin! Red Kite!” after she & Max Factor spotted one flying about before it roosted on a tree in the hedgerow.
After all of their pussy-footing around the Shiggy earlier, ARP & Louise would now find that there was no avoiding the Shiggy surrounding the gap in the tree-line, it was wet & churned up like you’d expect in a cattle field – Shiggy of the highest calibre! Earlier the RA had mocked Sparky’s all terrain gaiters protecting the bottom of his legs while pounding around the streets earlier, Sparky would now benefit from not getting Shiggy up his legs!
Once through the Shiggy patch, the Dust led down an earthen embankment in to the grounds of the local Leisure Centre, there was a slight lump in the way out toward the old A10, as the Hash had to go over the last part of a mound at the end of the ridge. Over to the east there was a soccer match taking place, their hollering out called those of the Keenies.
Back on the A10, it was a simple case of following the eastern side of the road up over the set of roundabouts that sit either side above the new A10 by-pass on & off slip roads, on the way there were lots of Cyclists whizzing by, on one section were markings that let the Cyclists know that they were at an 8 mile point in their event. Pepé le Pew was surprised as a relation of his peddled by & shouted out hello to him, as he was competing in the Cycling event.
Having made their way back to the On Inn, Porky Pie & Neil set off back around again in an attempt to try & find Sparky’s SatNav, they had only been gone for about 5 minutes when Sparky arrived at his car & discovered the SatNav was in his bag, which was inside Sparky’s car. Sparky set off after them in an attempt to track them down & stop them from going all the way to the Scout Camp!
Others tried calling Porky Pie, but his mobile was either not on or not with him, so they went off to the Bar, fortunately the RA had weaved his magic & the sun was still out. Porky Pie & Neil were soon back after being caught by Sparky, they would join the rest in sitting out under the covered patio garden, shelter enough to prevent Porky Pie from getting sun-burnt!
The food in the Pub looked excellent, but the place was fully booked until a party of seven cancelled but it was too late for any of the Hash to change their plans. The Landlord had asked the Hash if they could sit themselves outside, as there was no more spaces at the Inn & on this sunny day there was no problem with this.
There was lots of talk about upcoming elections next week, then as Hash Cash asked for subs to be handed over, Sludge decided to throw his money over like it was a ‘Noggin’s match’ in boxing. As Paxo minded his own business, the first pound coin directly hit his pint glass & the whole thing just shattered with a loud bang in a manner akin to a car windscreen, this is known as SFM (Stress Fracture Management) technology to prevent serious injuries in Bar brawls! The Pack were (literally almost) in stitches, while Paxo went to get a dustpan & clear things up!
Suddenly Sparky sensed a relief at no longer being the number one suspect for the Hashsit, Sludge went off to the Bar to purchase another Pint for Paxo. So, when it came around to the Down-Downs there were a lot of confident people out there!
The Hare was rewarded with a Pint for a Good Trail; Pepé le Pew was out for not feeling the warmth of the Hash & be well & truly wrapped up in some kind of Snugpak winter-survival gear. There were three Birthdays this week, Porky Pie, ARP & Neil, they were joined by Sparky for the lost Satnav but it took a while for Sparky to get to the end of his reasoning as to why he shouldn’t get the Hashit, he wasn’t but the RA did add that a Sparky’s age & background he should know which side of trees moss grows on, he should be able to tell north by dividing the hour & minute hand… so why does he need a Satnav?
Sludge had been preparing himself for some time, as the inevitable happened & he was called forward to pick up the Hashit, strangely Porky Pie had accidently spilt a lot of his Down-Down pint over the Hashit!