Date =                             24th April 2016

Run Number =             1673                                                                                                                                     

Venue =                        The Engineer

Location=                     Harpenden

Beer =                            London Pride; Tring Side Pocket; Rock Spring Fever

Hares =                         Oxymoron & Kokonut

Runners =                    16

Virgins =                        0

Visitors =                       0                                        

Aprčs Hashers =         0

Newies =                       0

Hounds =                      0

Total =                          12

Membership =             Virgo intact?


The weather wasn't bad after last week when Spring had sprung & then coiled up again, but there was an underlying cooler breeze that was a sign of colder things to come later in the week!

Two of the Pack looked slightly jaded this week, Mr X after Saracens triumph over Wasps the day before, & My Lil' after a day out with the FUK Full Moon in Chelmsford to celebrate St George’s Day.  There was a slight improvement in their demeanour when the mention of a Danish Hasher & Seven Virgins were supposed to be arriving that morning.  But as is in life, the Fates are cruel sometimes as the Seven Virgins did not appear, nor did the Danish Hasher, it could have all been a cruel joke in the first place!

Anyhow, for the second week on the trot the Pack circled up in Harpenden, this time on the common side of town, an area that is far from common with the size of the homes around there!

Ewok did the honours, with Mr X adding “Don’t you mean Harpenden Hash House Harriers?” then it was over to Oxymoron to start his spiel on what the Hash could expect to come across out on Trail.  His words of "Shorter than last week’s Trail" & "Short & urban!" were lapped up by many of the Pack, Ewok said the latter remark could have been said about her, "Short & urban!"

With the slim chance the Virgins could be delayed in arriving, or any other late comers turning up, it was soon discovered that neither Hare had anything about their person to use to show the correct route from the CHKs, the Hares lack of flour to mark the Trail for sweeping up was remedied when Oxymoron was handed a bag of flour to mark the Trail, which No Eye Deer fetched from the boot of her car, apparently its now a part & parcel of her car as is a jack or spare wheel is. [Yep, you can tell as Hash Car! – Ed]

That wasn’t the end of things being retrieved form Car Boots, with Colin going back to get his Horn out [Whoa there Pebbledash! – Ed] the RA noticed that he had an unopened Easter-Egg in the back of the motor there as well.

Things started with the likes of Mr X, My Lil' & Sloppy Seconds following on behind Max Factor & Alfa Male in heading up to the common from the CHK on the junction at the end of St Johns road & Carvell road.  They were on the wrong option up Carvell Road to the west.

Down the suburban street of wee terraced homes “On!” was called as the likes of Colin, Judy, Ewok, Lemming & Mother found the Trail to pass through the archway of the bridge the ‘Bed-Pan’ line runs on above.  A CHK was found by what was the Rose & Crown, latterly an Indian Restaurant but now new homes.

Those who had gone astray caught up with TBT OBE & Paxo, who were probably going to do a rendition of Flanagan & Allen’s ‘Underneath the Arches’?  Mr X commented on TBT OBE’s Hash Apparel, a bright hi-vis construction workers jacket that made him look like Bodge Bob the Builder!

While the Trail was found down Grove Road away to the southeast, Mr X popped in to the small picketed fenced garden of the Carpenters Arms,  peering through the small panes in the window to see what Ales are now on offer in there these days.

On over a zebra crossing on Grove Road to find a CHK by the start of a footpath up beside a local School, Lemming was soon up the path like a Lemming Rat up a drain pipe & he found the Trail.  The rest carried on in his wake up to the next CHK, where these rustic paths split between the residential areas of Southdown area of Harpenden.

Lemmings ratio of ‘Correct Trails found’ would soon change as he finally fell foul by continuing up the hill on what would be a Falsie.  With Lemming coming back, Kokonut encourage the others to search out of the alternative alleyway path where Dust was found.

The Keenies were rapidly out on to Grove Avenue & then on to the continuation of the path immediately opposite, it was very audible the numerous large hounds that live around this part of Harpenden, not only from the deep barking from behind the wooden fence panelled gardens, but as the Trail heads out toward the Grove Farm The path became increasingly littered with large dog’s eggs, all which needed to be avoided by Hash shoes.

Lemming caught up with Mr X, he enquired as to the RA’s lack of pace?  It wasn’t the suggested he could be suffering from ‘ring-sting’ after consuming a Foot long Chilli-dog he had the day before, it was more to do with the lack of sleep with indigestion.  An inquest began in to why the RA gets indigestion after a Chilli & not after a Vindaloo?  In the end H4’s very own Quincy came up with that it must be the kidney beans, since they are more toxic than most beans - the US Food & Drug Administration recommend they are boiled for a minimum of 30 minutes to leach these poisons out.

The footpath would take to a route much like that of a large S upon its side, beginning in a south-easterly direction before looping around to the northeast & then back to the southeast once again, it led up by the solitary building, but then it left the route of Oxymoron’s favourite running route to head off between the fenced off paddocks, before it began to make its way out on to Pipers Lane.  The Hash were avoiding the Golf course, so was that clue earlier a Red Herring?

Ewok was straight on to the correct route down the narrow rustic lane, bluebells were still out in the hedgerows & noticed as the Pack began heading south-westerly on a downhill trot with just a few pot-holes in the tarmac to avoid on the way to the Junction with Ayres End lane, a CHK was found on the traffic triangle just to the right, right before the small roundabout at the easterly tip of the southern end of Harpenden.

Lemming decided that he would check it out in amongst the homes on Grove Road, as did Mr X off on one of the side roads from this, but both were brought back by Calls of “On! On!” from down Cross lane, the narrow uncapped lane that runs behind the homes that line the parallel Welbeck Rise.  Running the hedge-rowed lane & the Hash were now out of the breeze once again & so this bit was fairly warm as the Dust came up to the rail bridge over the main line to Bedford to St Pancras, affectionately known as the Bed-Pan line.

On the other side of the tracks & the Pack were now on east side of East Common, not far from the Golf Course that the Hares had mentioned earlier at the opening Circle.  The homes around here are certainly more up-market, the Hash calls got some attention from the dog-walkers out & about, also the small puppy pout for a walk was happy to see Mr X & Sloppy trot along, seems this small pooch was up for playing along with the Hash!  The Pooch had top remain behind.

By this point in the Trail the list of walking wounded had grown to include Sloppy Seconds, who claimed he had no problems the day before completing a round of ‘Golf Football’!”  Others on the list of walking-wounded included My Lil’, who had been making lots of groaning sounds since he got off the Train!  Sludge too was on his last legs, so with TBT OBE & Paxo, they joined Oxymoron in taking a short cut along the eastside of the Golf Course to the On Inn.

No Eye Deer, Ewok, Max Factor, Lemming, Mother, Alfa Male, Colin & Judy all were taken on the loop by Kokonut.  They would head westward over to the busy A108 St Albans road, to head in to the West Common side of Harpenden, through to Hatching Green, then out via a small section of the Rothamstead Experimental Station grounds & back over to the North Section of the East Common, cutting back over the grassy spread to a crossing on Walker’s Road & back up to the On Inn.

Meanwhile back at the On Inn there was no sign of the Virgins, for some reason Ewok thought that the Virgins would all be female?  [We’ll never know! – Ed] Mr X was more than happy to bump in to one of the Saracens’ players at the Bar, congratulating him on the previous day’s victory over Wasps.  The rest of the Walking wounded were soon in the Bar, where one of the Bar Staff had a smashing time as he broke three different glasses on separate occasions.

After Mr X had pain-stakingly changed a date on the Hare-line by hand, the Trashes were handed out when the Keenies were all back.  Then there was a bit of ‘Mother-baiting’ from Mr X & Lemming as mention of what Berkshire Hash give away for achieving numbered Runs, not a lot apparently!

Time for the Down-Downs & with plenty of kids dining in the conservatory end of the Pub, the long narrow smoking area was used for the Circle, which was disappointing for Ewok who had been rubbing her thighs at the thought of seeing one of the Saracens players who’s 6’ 6’’ & 18st of muscle.

The RA was soon back inside as he forgot to bring the Hashit out.  Once retrieved the Circle could begin.  The Hares were rewarded for the Trail, which was a good one with a decent short cut for the walking wounded!  Alfa Male was out for not making the previous week’s Trail; TBT OBE was called forward for looking like ‘Bodge the Builder’! 

The Hashit went to Mother, after Mr X wrote ‘Mother 16 Runs’ on it to celebrate her completing that many Herts Trails [We’ll see if we can have that embroidered on for posterity? – Ed], Lemming Joined her as their handwriting for their Hash Signatures in the Sacred Book are indistinguishable!  Finally Mr X had the last hit for having a Birthday that week, the Choir Mistress needed some prompting to start of an awful rendition of ‘Hashy Birthday!’