Date = 20th June 2016
Run Number = 1681
Venue = The Gate
Beer = Dragons Blood, Gold
Hares = Sloppy Seconds
Runners = 11
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 11 F.U.K Full Moon H3 & Cambridge H3
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = b22
Membership = On the first Summer Solstice Full Moon since 1967!
The Pack assembled in the Bell Street Car Park, the Herts RA (& one half of the Full Moon GM's) received a phone call from Sloppy Seconds, who was still out setting the Trail.
Sloppy Seconds went on to say it was the usual one-sided arrows & Flour for Herts Markings, there was a Short Cut & most would be back in time for a snooze, the Footie as England took on Slovakia, & Wales challenged Russia in the European Cup group stages. All of this was relayed to the Pack after Paxo had stood in for the absent GM, welcoming the regulars & visitors of Bastard, Double Top, El Rave & Paparazzi to the joint Run. Mr X asked if there were any Aussies there today? Seems not! [217 Tackles to clinch the game & the series down-under! – Ed]
Tops welcomed the Pack to Full Moon Run No.381, while Bastard said about the Cambridge Run No. "Who gives a sh*t!" After which note Mr X pointed the way toward the exit to the alleyway that runs behind the Car Park, just as Spermwhale & Hash Potato cam ambling up, with a Cheery "Yas cannae wheat far az?" As the Pack began to leave them behind. Spermwhale was not alone for long as Panda, Windsock & Tops all headed back to the Gate!
A CHK found just through the gap in to the alleyway, all of which annoyed My Lil' as he dislikes starting from a CHK [Well done Sloppy! - Ed] So, while My Lil' hung around the CHK like Quasimodo, Paxo took it upon himself to be the only one to search westward toward London Road, everyone else had more sense & ran the alleyway in the opposite eastward direction, which led on behind the lower fence & the local bowlers could be seen out in their whites playing an end of Bowls.
Bastard said that this was the same way the Trail started last time he ran with Herts as the Trail was found beyond the Bowls Club, the hedge became higher & denser as the alleyway leads behind the local Cricket Club, no doubt the higher hedge & fence acts as a defense against Sixes hitting any unsuspecting walkers?
Anyhow, Mr X was now marking the Trail, in the Hare's absence, an arrow directed the Pack over to a small green area known as the Square & over on to the last section of Vantorts Road. On by the William IV, then on to a CHK out on very short Church Lane. Having passed by the lovely smell of something cooking in the nearby hall, Lobby Lobster, Mumblehead, Mark E Mark, El Rave, Paparazzi & My Lil' entered via the heavy wooden oak gate into Great St Mary's Churchyard, they went wrong as they choose to run the path heading slightly southward of due east & down toward the River Stort Navigation.
Meanwhile Sludge, No Eye Deer, Checkpoint & Ketchup had found the Dust on the alternative of the path cutting diagonally across the western tip of the Churchyard a short way to the tarmac path that leads down behind a local School & out on to Forebury, the Trail now turned westward up Forebury toward Knight Street where a Dustcart was pulling up outside of the Queen’s Head Pub, a CHK where Forebury johns Knight Street was quickly dealt with by Checkpoint & Ketchup as they headed on northward to the George IV, Mr X was trying to catch up with Smartarse & Bastard before they reached Station Road, but the opportunity to grab a bit of plasterboard out of a skip, to mark the rest of the Trail with meant he failed to catch Mr A & Bastard to remind Smartarse of the 'Garden Shed' incident!
Yes, on a Full Moon Pub Crawl Trail a few years ago, the Pack couldn't resist the photo opportunity outside one of the terraced homes hidden behind the George IV, this quaint home has a small shed in the tiny bit of front garden, the sight of the Pack singing & dancing to 'My Garden Shed!' was all too overwhelming for the elderly owner who came out to berate the Pack mid-photo & threatened to call the local Plod! Bah! Humbug! Youngsters having fun at the expense of my mini shed!
Out on to Station road & for Mr X it was a long wait at the crossing to get over to the CHK. Meanwhile, Smartarse & Bastard had headed up toward Fire Station & the London Road junction beyond, while Ketchup & Checkpoint were still on the corner of the junction with Bullfields where No Eye Deer had gone up & not returned from! Mr X marked the Trail down Bullfields & the rest were called back & “On!”
No Eye Deer was well ahead of the rest, Checkpoint & Ketchup were soon on behind her & they continued on by the road that heads away from corner of the school playing field & they all missed the CHK at this point at the junction where Cutforth Road heads westward over to the main Cambridge Road. The ‘off Trail’ FRBs were soon back after the Trail was picked up to the west by Smartarse, Bastard, Double Top, El Rave & Paparazzi after regaining the ground they had lost earlier.
Out on to the main Cambridge Road, this is the same old coaching route that becomes London Road on the opposite side of the Traffic Lights to the south, only No Eye Deer search down that way while the rest headed northward toward Cambridge, things wouldn’t go that far as after around a couple of hundred yards or so, on the opposite west side of the road the Trail was picked up once again as Sludge found it on the passageway footpath heading between two of the properties.
The shaded path, with a wall & large hedge on opposite sides, would come out to run along by the Mandeville School playing fields that have had a few improvements to the fencing along that southern side of the path. A couple of very quick turns at the kink in the path’s route & then things came out on to the corner of a crop field, here the fence had all but gone with a single wire leading along the top of the old concrete posts, it was rather like a eruv.
A tighter squeeze at the end of the footpath, where the trees, shrubs & grasses overhung & encroached on the path, when it dropped down to the path running from south to north there was the Short Cut Option marked out on the ground, with the Long Trail heading northward & the Short Cut off in the reverse direction on the edge of the crop field on the other side of the wide watery ditch.
For the Long Trail it would be an anti-clockwise Trail that would turn westward & run over the crop fields to pass through Tharlbies Farm & out on to Tharlbies, then on to Beanfield Road. There would be a bit of road running along the edge of the rustic lanes until the Trail came around to head down through a southern field that sits above ‘Crumps’. The FRBs would eventually meet up with the SCBs when the Trail would make its way back down to the brook at the edge of the fields that is one of the many feeders to the River Stort.
For Paxo there would be other hindrances out on the Trail than over grown paths, for he ended up coughing & spluttering after swallowing a fly or two, seems he didn’t like the extra protein in the back of his throat! [Calm down Pebbledash! – Ed] He was also a bit confused due to the lack of oxygen after his coughing fit at a CHK when he couldn’t quite get Paparazzi’s name to stick in his head.
Not everything went so well for the SCBs either, for My Lil & Sludge had gone past the overgrown looking patch in the southeast corner, for this was the path out of the field of wheat, they turned the corner to follow the southern hedge that had a very deep ditch within & they weren’t for stopping, even when the RA said that he believed the Trail didn’t go all the way to the fields southwestern corner, indeed Mr X was right for this would be too far away from the small park on the southern side of West Road.
Mr X turned back & met up with No Eye Deer, they would meet up with Mark E Mark, Lobby Lobster, Mumblehead & Kylie, who had now caught up after his late start. Kylie added that he had seen the Hare back at the Car Park. Some wondered if the Hare would cut back & make a surprise appearance later in the Trail to help sweep up the Pack? Nope, the lazy bugger had run out of steam & was only to be found in the Gate!
The Short Cut wasn’t marked down the overgrown path, but the Herts RA put two arrows on to a large stone, then placed this in the corner of the wide barren edge around the wheat crop, this pointed the way in through the fallow grasses in the overgrown corner & the almost hidden path was found. On the way through the hedged-in footpath, No Eye Deer bemoaned the nettles amongst the cow-parsley & other tall weeds, she claimed the nettles were stinging her, Mr X said this was “Very unusual at this time of year!” [As we all know, Nettles don’t sting this time of year! – Ed]
When the path emerged out on to the edge of West Road, the Short Cut markings were picked up once again, the arrows pointed the way straight over the tarmac to the small park that sits at the end of the habited western edge of Sawbridgeworth.
On the way between the playground furniture of the rec, Mr X said that he finds the spongy matting stuff beneath the swings & climbing frames very funny, for back in the day all he had was hard ground to hit when he fell off any playground furniture – it’s called going to the ‘School of hard knocks!’
Anyhow, the SCB Trail came out on to Coney Gree, to come back to the back-streets, although this section was only lined with homes on the eastern edge. The Trail continued on to the footpath that runs along by the south-bound brook, passing through Chalks Farm with its very old black wooden slat barns, then on to the corner to where the footpath becomes shuttered-in on the eastside & to the west the drop down through the thicket like hedge over the ditch of flowing water.
At the end of the T junction with the footpath coming across the fields to the west, a CHK was found & this had already been marked through to show the way up on to Gilders. The Trail continued eastward on the rising suburban hillside, crossing a small green verge & then on over to Hoestock Road & the On Inn before reaching the London Road again.
On the corner was a P-Arrow pointing northward toward the Pub, also there was an arrow pointing over the road toward the alleyway on the opposite side of the busy road & this was marked with a ‘Car ‘Park’.
Sludge & My Lil’ were out for quite a while, seems like it would have been just as quick to have gone around the ‘Long Trail instead of having to go all the way back down around the Wheatfield! Anyhow, having stopped running, most realised how humid the air was before getting changed.
The Pack met back up at the Pub, where the heat of the Packed bars was enough to drive the Hash outside in the nice pleasant evening. The Hare was already inside the Pub watching the football, well it seemed to be fairly entertaining even though there was no score, it was enough for England to go through as runners up to Wales!
When it came to the Down-Downs we had two RAs, plus a couple of guests awarding Down-Downs. The Hare had to leave early, the old excuse again but it was believed he had paid his fee? So, the Down-Down was going tom go to the Herts Hare-Raiser, except he had gone as well! So, in the end Paparazzi was awarded it for wearing a hat, as the Hare noted for!
Mark E Mark was out for completing his 500th Herts Runs, no doubt his 500th Run Walking Stick will be handed to him in a couple of years’ time! Smartarse had Ketchup out for his seemingly endless farting on the way around the Trail! Mr X had Panda out for the Power of the EWSH3 Hi-vis jackets that got Mr X on to the footplate of the Flying Scotsman
Spermwhale, along with Smartarse, told the Circle of the Full Moon Memorial Hash out in Bali, this was a dedication to those Hashers we have lost over the years, & by the sounds of things it got a bit bigger then these two imagined & more than a few funny tales were told! Checkpoint was called forward to receive one of the Hash Bags from that event that has Umplebum’s name on it
El Rave presented Smartarse & Mr X with a shirt to advertise the Cambridge 2017th weekend next year, the typo on the flier for an event in May 2017 but recommends you to ‘Register by Sept 2017 for the lowest prices’, was soon spotted for this price rise that would be after the event had taken place! These will be worn on away weekends to advertise this do.
Finally the Hashit, this went to Ketchup, for after his diagnose at the Doctors about his wind, he wanted a second opinion & so he was told he was “F*cking ugly as well!” [The Old ones are the best! – Well the only ones I can remember these days! – Ed] When it came to where the next respective Hash Trails would be, Mr X added a Thanks for coming & to do the Next Full Moon on a summer solstice would be in 2063, where he added that he’d like to be on a mobility scooter!