Date = 4th July 2016
Run Number = 1683
Venue = The Cricketers
Beer = Wherry, Reed Cutter; Doombar
Hares = No Eye Deer & What She Says!
Runners = 17
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 1
Aprčs Hashers = 1
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 19
Membership = Bowled over with the Pub’s New Kitchen & Dining area!
Made in China was this week’s visitor, who had come all the way from Guângdōng, & the brooding overcast clouds above didn’t put him off of turning out, he would be introduced after the Circle was called together by Ewok, she struggled & then gave up to say Guângdōng, only just getting the dong out of her mouth [Who! Lucky Pebbledash wasn’t there! – Ed] Skip seemed impressed that she got the Run Number correct & that it wasn’t written on her hand, like he used to on his when he was GM!
The Hares were brought forward, with What She Says letting No Eye Deer do the Spiel about what the Pack could expect to encounter out on the Trail, well, it sounded like a real menagerie out there - with Cattle, Horse & other animals mentioned. Short cuts were also mooted & those wanting these should stick with What She Says, however, there was also talk of the fields being ploughed & the Trail could be hard to spot in places!
Then it was a start to find the Trail from front of the Pub, with the exception of Mumblehead & lobby Lobster who decided to move the Car! As the Pack were getting underway, with Mr X, Sludge & My Lil’ heading out of the Damask Green end of the village to the south, the RA noted that Alfa Male was on the phone trying to locate Max Factor, who had yet to arrive. Alfa Male blamed her absence on “Bad Post Code in the Trash!” [What did we do before Satnavs & modern tech? I’ll ask my twelve siblings! – Ed]
Anyhow, others were caught out as they headed northward into Weston proper, for before reaching the Red Lion a Bar CHK prevented any further progress that way in a direction up toward where Max Factor was! Instead the real Trail was found on the very small cul-de-sac off of the Damask Green road, there an elderly local showed the way by the end of his drive & on to the footpath out into the field west of the village.
Porky Pie was soon away out through the field of cut hay, which was covering the Dust set down the day before & this meant that the Pack made their way around the perimeter of the field, not on the footpath’s correct route straight through the center. The southwesterly path came out through the hedgerow & on to the edge of another field, the CHK there was soon dismissed by Porky Pie as he quickly picked up the correct route again.
A solitary Jogger could be seen in the distance running toward the Pack, when he reached the Hash he asked what was going on? So No Eye Deer & Mr X stopped to explain the Hash before handing him a Herts Hash card & continuing on.
With the hiatus in the running over, No Eye Deer, Ewok & Mr X joined ARP, Tent Packer, Made in China, Alfa Male, Skip, Paxo, Fliptop, Manjeet & My Lil’ all followed on in Porky Pie’s wake, this bunch of FRBs reached the Held CHK on the edge of the next crop field & the SCBs were quiet away behind. The SCBs were far enough away not to hear the moans about the Hare forgetting the Jelly Babies!
Having discussed ideas as to the route’s direction from here, Sludge, My Lil’ & Mr X fancied their chances on heading southward along the permissive path, while Porky Pie decided that the option over to the other end of the wheat field & on by How Wood [I know a song about that! – Ed] was best. When it came to the resumption of the Trail, Porky Pie was seen to have gone a long way down toward How Wood, but it was too far & he would be called back as on the north option Dust was found & this brought Porky Pie back, but this too turned out to be False, leaving the southbound path as the correct one.
With smug looks on their faces, Mr X, Sludge & My Lil’ all congratulated themselves on finding the Dust, Tent Packer & Made in China were soon up at the front as they passed by the others to reach the next CHK, there was a chance of a slight detour which led both Tent Packer & Made in China to awry. It was here that the RA noticed that Fliptop was calling out “Checking!” & as he did so he turned his back on the RA & rotated away to shield the fact he was on his mobile trying to contact Sis!
Having looked off in to the enclosed field almost hidden behind the hedge to the west, Mr X picked up on the Sou-sou-east continuation of the path in to the next field along. Mr X & Sludge opened up a gap on the rest as they made their way out to where this path joins at a T-junction footpath that runs from east to west, behind the hedge there was an old red couch that had been abandoned, not by the Hares we hope? But there was no time to sit about as Checking Out had to be done.
Both chose to head northeastward, toward Weston Park & where they knew lots of footpaths to be around the park behind what was the Anchor Pub, at Warrens Green, the very Pub that was drunk dry of Ale on a joint Full Moon Hash many moons ago! The Trail was picked up this way & after a loop from the Weston road, through by the Cows that were very vocal with maternal mooing as they had calves with them, the Trail would come across the wild grassy paddock areas of Weston Park.
As this path hit the main drive in to the Park, Mr X & Sludge went awry as they discovered the Dust on the wrought iron gate in the fencing straight over, but they lost the Trail as they head up to the northwest corner & the Cricket Club. They came all the way back to see the rest on their way toward them.
What She Says was making his way along the drive way & was with Mumblehead, Psycho, Lobby Lobster & TBT OBE on the short cut along the driveway. What She Says now called Mr X & Sludge back from the Driveway to go back through the wrought iron gate but to follow the lesser walked northeast bound path in the grass. What She Says added "You're half way around now" which was nice of him!
TBT OBE was shown the short cut up out by the Cricket Club & into the Damask Green bottom of Weston. Meanwhile the Trail was picked up once more & there Mr X & Sludge were now surpassed by Porky Pie, Alfa Male, Max Factor & ARP as they came out of another metal gate to cross the tarmac drive & then over in to the wood area beside Park Lodge.
Those who have been Hashing with Herts for eons knew that they could be heading over toward Holy Trinity Church at Church End, having emerged from the woodland the Dust was found by the metal garden gate that once belonged to the front garden of No.21 (for that is the number formed of iron within its front) this had a sign by it that said this path was a part of the Queen’s Golden Jubilee Weston walk.
More wild grass to run through until coming out of the gate at the opposite northeast corner of the paddock, there a CHK was found. Alfa Male disappeared on the diagonal Path over to Holy Trinity Church but he never came back! Meanwhile Porky Pie, ARP & Max Factor took the route through the wheat that went directly over to the Hedgerow, but having made it all the way over there they found nothing & came back. This confused Tent Packer & Made in China, who had joined Mr X, Sludge & My Lil’!
To compound the matter, Paxo thought that it could be a sneaky CHK & the Trail Checked Back from there & went in to the wood behind, he did find Trail but was to be called back once No Eye Deer had arrived & kind of got her bearings! So back over to the Hedgerow at Church End & it turned out that Alfa Male was “On Trail!” but his calling could not be heard over the slight ridge in the landscape of wheat!
Mr X, My Lil' & Sludge had spotted the water tower in the distance & were now homing in on that as a reference point as they set off back through the wheat field of Cows Mead to where Porky Pie had been before, on approaching the hedgerow they spotted Alfa Male trot by in the hedged-in track, when the rest came out they discovered that he had not found any Dust. Mr X said that he thought that it would be picked up on one of the footpaths out of the Churchyard. It was here that No Eye Deer was heard to say the not so encouraging words of "I'm not sure where we go, all the footpaths look the same!"
So, back to Holy Trinity for Alfa Male & en route Mr X then mentioned the famous 'Jack of Legs' grave that is marked there, apparently he was a very tall ‘Robin Hood’ like character, who lived in a cave near Weston. He robbed the Bakers of Baldock after they had raise the prices & handed their flour to his friends. The Bakers ambushed him & blinded him in a severe attack, granted his last wish to fire an arrow from a bow so large that no one else could use it, & then released an arrow some three Miles to be buried where it landed at Holy Trinity!
Anyhow, Porky Pie led a few down toward this grave, while My Lil', Sludge & Mr X searched the gravel path beneath the canopy of the tree line to the northwest. On the way the likes of Paxo, Tent Packer & Made in China could be seen through the hedgerow as they were coming through the adjacent field, a call of "Short Cutters!" went up, but it was a bit premature as the Sludge quickly discovered a Bar CHK!
Back to a gate & the former FRBs were now entering the field to follow on behind the no-longer SCBs of Paxo & Co who were now on the correct Trail out to the east End of Weston. The Trail ran along by the recreation grounds to the west to come out on to Munts Meadow. [Blimey! A slip of the old finger could have had the scribe in trouble there! – Ed]
Things continued with arrows along this suburban, slightly newer cul-de-sac until it reached the junction with Maiden Street where a SC (Short Cut) was marked down to the southwest, alternatively the Full Trail was indicated as straight over to Mill Lane, then Fore Street which was a slight loop to where both Trails met near to where the On Inn was found just before the Red Lion, a Pub that has strange opening times & has to be requested to open on certain days!
Anyhow, the Pack came back to the Cricketers & could now appreciate the work that has been done to the place, especially the ding area extension & pizza oven that looks like a giant red cricket ball, complete with seam! The pillows were Cricket Sweater, there were cricket bats along the Bar & big picture signed of Sir Ian Botham!
Mr X pointed out to alfa Male & Max Factor that it was lucky Pebbledash wasn’t there as she would have a ‘field day’ with the table settings, the condiments came in a large tin used for the pizza base sauce that still had the label on the outside, as he cracked a joke about seeing the Chef’s plums on the table! At least it took the betrothed couple’s minds off of TBT OBE’s tactless reading out the Marriage jokes & warnings from a book called “A Man walked into a Bar!” or the talk of Wisdom Teeth [Wisdom on the Hash!? – Ed]
It was certainly warm inside with the oven going, a few sat outside until the wind picked up a bit, but a least the threatening clouds failed to produce any rain. [Thank the RA! - Ed] With the smell of pizza wafting through the bar, it was inevitable that the Pack would succumb but not as many as that did. Over half the Hash ordered food, even Sis left her Pilates to make sure that Fliptop only had half a pizza! As My Lil' commented "Fliptop's diet has finished then?"
When it came around to the Down-Downs, the Hares were rewarded for a great Trail that took an hour & five to get around for most. The Hares were followed by this week’s visitor of Made in China. Lobby Lobster was out for her 100th Run, which saw her presented with a plastic pot that had a cheap label with her name on wrapped around it, all after she requested her tankard was silver-plated! As she started her hit she was then presented with her proper tankard, which contained Ale!
Porky Pie was out for his Nelson Run, 111 which from the cricket score [Appropriate for today's Pub! - Ed] required him to do an umpire David Sheppard & stand on one leg as he dispatched his hit, which he found quite hard!
Max Factor was out for lost property of a set of Alfa Romeo keys left on the grass! Finally the Hashit went to Fliptop for his use of mobile tech several times on the Trail!