Date = 21st August 2016
Run Number = 1690
Venue = The Pig & Whistle
Beer = Youngs
Hares = Sludge
Runners = 22
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Après Hashers = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 22
Membership = Wishing Sludge a Hippo Bidet!!
A bright start welcomed the Hash as they arrived at the Pig & Whistle, before ‘the off’ there was a bit of car moving as the Landlord asked if some of the vehicles & jalopies could be parked just down the road at the now closed Rose & Crown, a once fine Pub which can be yours for a mere £550,000 according to Max Factor – who must have been inspired after the Red Lion Preston & suggested that the Hash buy it!
In the absence of the GM, Paxo came dashing around from the Rose & Crown, enthusiastically he was straight up for getting the Circle together as some commented on the time. [Is Paxo taking the Monkey Glands? – Ed] Spotted Dick & Custard were present this week, he would point out the distinctive roof of a house behind those across from the front of the Pub.
This was the first home in Herts for Spotted Dick & Custard when they moved here many moons ago, it sounded like a few cold months were spent there as at the time the place had single pane metal windows. Spotted Dick went on to say that behind the home was a snicket leading out in to the fields to the east of the village. Mr X said if he was lucky he could reminisce about the old days!
One car in the car park got some attention, for on the boot was the slogan "Powered by Ginger Dust" so Kylie took a picture for the regular red-heads who were absent! Mr X wondered if a certain Airline with orange livery was powered the same way?
Before the Pack set off, the Hash got to see someone who was there in ‘Body’ if not in Spirit, well perhaps some kind of Spirit, for My Lil' was in such a state the night before after mixing the cocktails he was making at the Grand opening of Banana Bender's Shed had taken its toll. TC summed up how he & Mr X had to steer My Lil' across the concourse of Liverpool Street Station as "Like Bambi on Ice!"
Introductions finished & the Hare was called forward. In an ironic twist, Sludge made a big thing about the Pack understanding what a Bar CHK is & the importance of not running on through these! Of course this led to quite a few comments about Sludge not practicing what he preaches! Pot, Kettle, Black etc. & I could go on for days!
Without further ado the Hash were directed out if the car park by way of the passageway beside it, emerging out on to New Park Lane. Already the RA’s ears were being bombarded with comments on the return of the Hashit, which Fliptop was wearing, then tales of ‘Attempted Bunny Killing’ on the way to the venue after Paxo shouted to TBT OBE drive at & make ‘Road-Kill’ of the critter, which upset the passengers of Kylie, Milf & 2-1-2 Maureen!
The RA decided that he better run to avoid any more potential Down-Down tales for the moment, as the Dust would lead the way out via another footpath to the sports fields behind the village hall, there a game of soccer was taking place. Alfa Male was straight over to the footpath heading slightly west of due north, while Sparky led a splintered group off to the east by the club house on a Falsie.
"On!" was called from Alfa Male as he disappeared through the wooded strip. Fliptop was soon following him but this would end up to be the next Falsie. The Hare was smug as a mug with a capital ‘S’ attached to the start of its name, at catching the FRBs out!
With the Trail being picked up on the last option of the footpath
to the School Lane & no Harriettes heading toward him, Fliptop was the first to
stop in the bushes to scare the squirrels on the Falsie! The RA joined him, as
Hare Hair of the Dog' that morning was working its way through! It
didn’t appear to be working for My Lil’ who was languishing at the back & hoping
for a Short Cut!
The Trail came through to run out on the dead end of School Lane, passing by St Mary's School & on to a CHK where the FRBs of Tent Packer, Alfa Male, Colin, No Eye Deer & Judy all took to the loop out to the north before coming back around to head southward along by Gresley Way, on the edge of St Evenage.
This outer arterial road & boundary for the sprawl of the New Town is named after Sir Nigel Gresley, who lived for a while & died at Watton-at-Stone. Kylie appreciated this as he was the Chief Designer for LNER & of the most famous steam locomotives in Britain, including the LNER Class A1 & LNER Class A4 4-6-2 Pacific engines. An A1 pacific, Flying Scotsman, was the first steam locomotive officially recorded over 100 mph in passenger service, while an A4, number 4468 Mallard, still holds the record for being the fastest steam locomotive in the world (126 mph).
Back to the Trail & My Lil’s Prayers were answered, well not all of them as he still looked a rough as a badger’s arse, as the SCBs of 2-1-2 Maureen & Max Factor & Mr X all joined the Hare off through the wood on the west bound path to the edge of Gresley Way, there the Trail turned to the south. On the shaded path the RA commented on the Hare having lack of constipation issues as the pathway seemed to be littered with a lot of used toilet tissue?
The Trail came up to the footbridge over Gresley Way, this narrow concrete structure is like a draw bridge separating the villages to the east from the populous of St Evenage as it joins the end of the track through the wood & becomes Dene Lane. The Trail was now heading back toward the village, coming up through the Aston Dene area, where on passing the tennis players on the courts for the Aston Lawn Tennis Club, the RA wondered why it wasn’t called the Aston Astroturf Tennis Club, for the courts were clearly artificial!
Milf was soon at the front as she caught the SCBs up on the way to Broadwater Lane, at the junction a Bar was found & so those who thought the Trail would head straight over & on to the footpath that leads down through the Golf Course would be wrong!
A short way back & the Trail was found on the enclosed footpath that is only a matter of yards in length but cuts off the wooded corner & running on the busy narrow lane back toward the Church. A staggered arrow where the path came out on to the lane showed the way the Pack should go, firstly by St Mary's Church, where the bells that had been ringing earlier were now silent, then over in to the Yeoman Drive area where the old Hall sits
In the Second World War the SOE (Special Operations Executive) had Station XII, a research unit here that tested explosive devices & other Secret Squirrel Stuff, the famous Bailey Bridge was devised there by Sir Robin Bailey, in a British kind of way the original model was made form Lollipop sticks, Balsa Wood & a lot of glue, it remained hanging out of the laboratory window until the end of the war
But Aston, sadly the house was pulled down in the 1960's.
The Pack encountered more arrows, these had the Pack changing direction a couple of times in a few yards before showing the way in through the gate to the Cricket Pitch & green space
Milf, Spotted Dick & Mr X lost the Trail here, it was down to the likes of Alfa Male, Tent Packer, Fliptop Colin & Judy picked things up over to the eastern end of the park & out on to Stringers Lane & a CHK. Even My Lil’ managed to run this bit!
The Trail was picked up on down toward the obvious footpath sign to the north this meant the Hash were running behind the wall for the Cricket ground, after this zig-zagging the Pack would head off down the snicket that Spotted Dick had mentioned at the start to Mr X.
Spotted Dick was up with Mr X & on the way down to the open farm fields to the east of the village, he would mention an old cast-iron roller abandoned at the end, he had thought of having this away but all he would find this day would be a CHK!
Sparky was the only one to head off around behind the back gardens & was soon noticed to have stopped & it appeared he too was now scaring the squirrels! A few made sure the RA was aware of this!
The Trail was picked up by Alfa Male as it led through the field of black, dead beans going over the ridge to come out on to the long gentle slope of the reaped wheat fields.
Mr X caught up with TBT OBE on the crest of the descent & he opted to walk this next section of rough stubble covered ground as the large dry clods of soil were ankle turners. In the distance was a group food Ramblers that TBT OBE mistook for the Front Runners of the Hash! [Better get down to Specsaver! - Ed]
Most took this downhill section as a steady walk, Alfa Male being a mere Pup was a bit more reckless as he went 'Hell for leather ' on his way to the bottom of the valley where the river Beane flows.
A couple of the Ramblers said to those walking the rough ground "You're not running, you're behind the others!" As Mr X said that he wasn’t going to turn his ankle on the down-hill bit, instead he was happy to start running again once on the grassy footpath.
The Trail led over the Beane & then around behind the hedgerow & up the eastern side of the valley but this turned out to have a Bar CHK up on the ridge, so, alfa Male, Milf & Fliptop all headed back down to the hedgerow & followed the route along beside the Beane, but nothing was found up there!
Mr X was happy to be far enough behind to see the FRBs on their way back & it now looked like the Trail would be on the hedgerow on the opposite west side of the Beane, this would mean passing by the Ramblers again & having been questioned on to why he was running by them once more, the answer of “The Other way was a False Trail!” amused the Ramblers. Mr X picked up the Trail.
The Hare, who was with the walkers still making their way down the hillside, decided to cut across the stubble & short cut the rest to the Trail as it headed northward. Milf & Mr X called out “Short Cutter!” & “Cropping!” at the likes of Psycho, 2-1-2 Maureen, Paxo, Custard & Max Factor but soon decided their breath was best spent on running by the Ramblers & along up to Bennington lane that comes down from the Village & on by Holbrook Farm.
The RA was tempted to go up the edge of the field beside the Lane, but it seemed too soon so he came back down to find that the Trail passed through the gate in the hedge & on to a CHK by continuation of the footpath by the river. Alfa Male & Sparky soon caught up & were leading the way around to Ford Lane, the next narrow rustic route that runs down in to the valley, on the way Milf stopped & startled a guy in the bushes, who was out with his two boxer dogs that the ‘white Dust’ was just flour for the Trail!
Up on the hillside were a couple of farmers who were burning a load of straw & dung, the smoke was drifting down the valley & the Hash had to run through this smoke screen, some were now shelter from the view of the Ramblers & so they slowed up with their running, it was also fairly humid in the stiller air in the vale.
A CHK was found at the next bridge over the Beane, while Alfa Male & Mr X thought about continuing around the edge of the next field & then up the ridge to the Water-tower, a call came from behind as the Dust was found leading up the lane, so it the RA said that after all the other Short Cutting back on the Trail, he would not feel guilty at cutting a small corner off of the stubble field & out by the two parked cars of the dog walkers out this morning.
Westward up Ford Lane & the Trail came up to turn southwestward at the T-Junction on to Brookfield lane, for most it was a walk up this steeper narrow lanes, the type where people like My Lil’ loss wing-mirrors, before coming on to the only Held CHK of the Trail, by a bench that is set back in a recess in the hedgerow, there the RA could see the likes of Colin & Fliptop sitting on the bench - all wanting a Down-Down no doubt? The bench had a plaque on it that had “Somewhere only we know” engraved on it, Colin, My Lil’ & Mr X whittled down the lyrics to those of Keene.
The Hare arrived & proceeded to hand out the bags of Jelly Babies & Fruit Pastels. When No Eye Deer made it up to the Held CHK she wondered why she was near the back while it had felt like she had been doing a lot of running.
Kylie arrived in time to take some pics for the Farcebook page, having had the picture shoot the Hare wondered on how 2-1-2 Maureen was doing, she had taken on a short cut by Paxo, to which the slightly perkier looking My Lil’ commented with a “Two old women together then!”
When the Trail resumed the Pack had to make way for some traffic coming from each way, then the Trail moved off in to a field before coming back in to the back in to Aston, a village that gets its name from the corruption of the Manor of Estone, which was Three Vassels under Stigend the Archbishop of Canterbury, some of the land was also recorded as belonging to the wonderfully named Wulf the Dane!
Back Inn by the Footballers, which inspired talk from Skip about the Gooners have now been at the Emirates for 10 years & Mr Wenger being in charge for 20! The On Inn was passed as the Hash made their way back out on to New Park Lane, on the gentle drop down between the houses the RA spotted Sparky ahead of him & Sparky ran on by the cut-through to head off toward the Rose & Crown, even though his car was parked at the Pig & Whistle! Sparky was called back!
The Day was nice enough to sit outside, where Kylie admired the painted carvings around the entrances & the windows of the Pub, even the few dark clouds couldn't rain on this parade.
Sludge was kind enough to put some money behind the Bar for the Pack to have a drink on his Birthday, which was the day before. He was careful to make sure that the staff knew the money behind the Bar was for the Hash & not the footballers who would be popping in to the Pub a bit later.
The Circle was called & after the JM had done the toast, the RA jokingly thanked Sludge for paying for the Downs-Downs, which he didn't. The Hare was rewarded for a good scenic Trail, with chorus of Hashy Birthday!
Paxo was out for the journey to the venue where TBT was driving him & 2-1-2 Maureen, Milf & Kylie & when a baby rabbit hopped out in to the lane in the outskirts of the village, Paxo shouted out "Run it over!" to TBT OBE, much to the disgust of 2-1-3 Maureen & the others!
While of the subject of helpless animals, My Lil' was out for the sate he was in after the FUK Full Moon & the Grand Opening of Banana Bender's Shed, ‘Bambi on Ice’ but poor My Lil' could only managed a half! [How the mighty fall after a couple of Cocktails? - Ed] & the benevolent RA allowed him to take his punishment like a wimpy kid!
Sparky was out for his running on by the Pub, while Spotted Dick was called forward for his trip down memory lane, or was it memory snicket? Alfa Male was out for his splendid job in taking orders for the Glampout.
Finally the Hashit, which after the comments on Paxo & the Rabbit, the appearance of the shiteshirt was the most mentioned subject on the Trail! Of course tradition dictates that the awarded has to wear it for the same number of week it has been absent, Fliptop was consigned to his fate & donned the very dry Hashit!
After the Circle Milf went around asking who would be interested
in 'Whitewater rafting' at Lea Valley, when hands were raised Mr X said that the
boat would go around in circles as most of the Pack there that day are
left handed! A subject that arose after Alfa Male went around taking orders for
the Henlow Glampout food!