Date = 2nd October 2016
Run Number = 1699
Venue = The White Horse
Beer = Abbott, JHB Citra, Doombar, Adnams
Hares = Mr X
Runners = 22
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Newies = 0
Hounds = 1
Total = 23
Membership = Lucky monkeys!
Nearly everyone got the message about parking around the corner at Lockley's car park, represented by a large Blue P on the map link supplied in the weekly email & on the receding Hareline of the website, Sparky was the exception as he arrived at the Pub & knocked on the door to ask for directions!
Being there early, Mr X got to hear about TBT OBE’s adventures on the previous days’ Bash, which included getting so far ahead of the rest that he lost them all, seems he doesn’t realize how fast his electric bike goes? Then there were the times that he fell off of this powered beast, once involving Ketchup on his fixed wheeler! But this paled in to insignificance when it came to his Golf Round, but more of that later.
In the absence of the GM, the JM stood in & welcomed the Pack Welcome to Welwyn, a place where driving whilst on your mobile phone seems to be a legal practice. Then it was on to the correct Run Number before it was over to the Hare. Just as the Hare was about to start his spiel, Alfa Male & Max Factor drove in to the car park.
Mr X was going to delay proceedings, but he was overruled by the majority calls of "They're young enough to catch up!" Normal Hash markings applied, one-sided arrows & Dust, short cuts & a couple of Held CHKs, double arrows were to be obeyed, as the Hare specifically looked ay Sludge. Finally a request for Hash Hush near to Horses on the Trail, this being aimed at Sparky.
Things started by running around by the local vets to Mill Lane, Mr X commented on Paxo's gait which was a little awkward after he took part in the Bike Bash the day before. After seeing him walk like John Wayne with serve Chalfont’s Mr X suggested that Paxo ought to pop in to the vets & get some treatment? [If sitting on cold objects can cause the old Farmers, why do they freeze them off? – Ed]
The Trail led down the narrow single lane of Mill Lane, with its lines of smart terraced homes at the start before the larger residences took precedence. One such larger home was the former Baron of Beef Pub, Mr X remembered going in there when a neighbour of his was the last Landlord there before McMullens’ sold it off to be a private residence.
The Trail arrived at an H4 CHK outside of the White Horse, the H4 indicating that this was the On Inn for the Hash. The Keenies of Porky Pie, ARP, Max Factor, Where's Wally, Judy & Sludge all continued down Mill Lane, beyond the Pub to cross the over river Mimram, most missed this as it flows under the lane & is hardly noticeable that there is a bridge there. Beyond the old mill & the first true CHK was found on the junction with Prospect Place.
Many of the Keenies were caught out by running straight on the remainder of Mill Lane, by the school & up to the alleyway at the end & by the Fire Station, passing the remains of a car that Fire Brigade had used to practice the Jaws of Life on, they would soon be back after finding a T!
Sloppy Seconds was called back from heading up to the High Street as the Trail was picked up down the shingle dead-end of Prospect Place the Hash were now on a loop around through the small Parkside estate to come around by the roundabout system on & find the Hare waiting there on the Hertford Road by the Fire Station! ARP wanted to know how Mr X got there? Smoke & Mirrors like any good stage turn was the answer!
The Trail now crossed the small one-way system to reach the southwest side of the Hertford Road & once over a CHK was discovered near to the bottom of the steps up the steep wooded embankment.
The Hare was happy to see the southeastward options searched first, with both the path under the Welwyn by-pass bridge & the ramp like path up one side to the by-pass road as they were Falsies. On was called from up the steep, narrow leaf littered steps, the three flights made their way through two passing landings emerge from the trees on to Broomfield Road.
Mr X told Judy the story of a former Herts Hasher who lives up on this road, how after one session with a few other Hashers, clambered to the top. The others were shocked to see Drinker fall backward in between the trees then roll all the way down the steep embankment & tumble out on to the path below. It was quite a feat that if he was sober would probably have resulted in some serious injury instead of the 'Daft Bugger' just getting up & dusting himself off!
More arrows pointed the way over to the footpath that runs over to the other side of the U-shaped Broomfield Road to find a CHK by the corner of the Steamer Pub. The Hare was hoping that a few of the older heads would think that they could out smart him, sure enough Sludge lead the way around to the front of the Steamer & across London Road to Otway Walk, but there was no Dust at all that way & eventually someone noticed the signpost indicating a footpath behind the homes on the southern arm of Broomfield Road, this was eventually searched & the Trail picked up.
At the end of the fenced-in gravel footpath the Hash would descend another set of steps, at the bottom on the Welwyn by-pass to find My Lil' leading the SCBs around from the previous CHK from the Hertford Road. The Trail now headed southward down but the new builds (well about four years ago they were!) to turn up to a Bar CHK by the entrance to the local BP filling station.
Back a few yards & an alleyway running by the newer builds to London road was found, this path would have been beside the old Welwyn Cinema, later the Godfrey Davis garage. A CHK & the Hare was found on London Road, there was another directly opposite that the Hare placed after the first one to keep the pack on the west side of the road. Judy said that she should stick with Mr X as he kept appearing before the FRBs, well he did know where the Trail was going to head!
While Stephen headed back toward the Steamer, Sloppy started off over on the Crescent, with Where’s Wally & Judy thinking of following on behind him. The Hare looked southward to where Porky Pie was almost about to stumble upon the Dust, at first it appeared as if Porky Pie was going to stop & turn back, then he noticed the flour on a broken Stella Artois glass behind the isolated hedge & called “On!”
The Pack moved on along the footpath over from the BP Garage, this became a short bit of cycle-path, passing the broken ‘wife-beating juice’ glass, Sparky saw a blob of flour on the start of a set of steps & this would lure him off up by the last of the homes on the way out of south end of Welwyn.
The rest continued on south bound & passed by the large black iron gates to the new east on what was land belonging to the Frythe, they would follow arrows around the corner of the serpentine like road up to Digswell Hill, then on to a Bar CHK! The Hare, who was clearly confused, mixed up his left & rights & almost sent No Eye Deer & ARP up to the Bar CHK & not off up the private drive to the new estate up to the west.
The Keenies came back & joined Skip & Psycho in heading up the meandering drive up through the fallow fields between the wooded areas, the black iron fenced drive rose with the contour of the land & passed by one of the Horse Paddocks near to where the new builds are.
Soon the Keenies passed by the SCBs as the drive turned to revel the expensive looking homes, part of the site is still under construction, the RA noticed that there was a Construction Traffic Sign that limit vehicles to 9.5 MPH, Judy thought it could be an insurance health & safety clause?
Even with small fence doff area, many of the finished residences are already inhabited, signs at the side of the road asked visitors, & there were a few civilians out waling this morning, to ‘respect the residents privacy’ - none of which stopped Sparky from blowing his horn!
Porky Pie was ready with his camera as Herts arrived at the green space in the centre of the road ways, here there are couple of wicker stags, either side of the water feature & bridge over the pond of Koi Carp. Luckily Pebbledash wasn’t there as the tags were anatomically correct, thankfully they weren’t real stags as we are now in ‘Rutting Season’! Time for a photo shoot, which took some time as the FRBs waited for Skip, Psycho & No Eye Deer arrived.
Snaps taken & it after this it was a short way around to the drive that leads out to a gate on to White Hill lane. There a Held CHK was discovered. The Pack had to wait for Skip, Psycho & No Eye Deer to join them after being more preoccupied with looking at the houses for sale. Not sure Skip & Psycho would want to move again, especially as most don't seem to have much of a back garden.
The Hare went on to tell of when the Frythe was an X Station during World War ll, where the SOE (Special Operations Executive) divided explosive devices & other subversive espionage things.
After the War it became a drug research centre, but sadly a place where animal experiments occurred. Herts had a Held CHK at this point many years ago, in the days when the gated were closed & CCTV monitored the area for antivivisectionists, of course the security guys saw the Hash & the next thong we knew was Plod was on their way to see what was happening.
The Hare finished his tale with a statement of not allowing any Grand Monkey to stop here, just in case they were rounded up & carted off to the Labs! As the Pack moved away Mr X said that there were now three options, pointing straight over the lane, then a few degrees over to the left & to one path further down the White Hills lane back toward Welwyn in the Northeast
So, Mr X was surprised to see Sparky head off up the lane in a direction not indicated by him or the green footpath signs! Sparky was left to his own devices as Sloppy Seconds started to say that he could smell Radiation back at the Held CHK.
Sloppy Seconds could be right on this, as don't forget that Poor Hard up Sloppy had a home in Devon or Cornwall & parts of these counties are susceptible to Radon Gas leaching out of the rock.
Many homes in the Southwest have to have extractor fans fitted to remove this, far from the days when the Victorians thought Radon was of benefit to human health! All of this caught Prince Garmin's attention & ARP would later be quizzed as she explained about different types of Radiation, & how cam be beneficial, as well as the deadly Gamma that Mr X mentioned.
The Trail was picked up on the footpath to the gate in the hedgerow directly opposite the Held CHK, Stephen picked it up on the northwest bound path along the edge of the enclosed field of lush green grass & not the other path that cuts diagonally across the field to Gregg’s wood at the edge of Ayot St Peter.
Henry now had a chance to frolic about in the grass as Lofty let him of the lead as the Trail dropped down the hillside to enter Rectory Wood. Once through the gates a CHK was found in the woodland.
Where's Wally searched the wrong left-hand option, while the rest chose the right, with Sludge using his local knowledge to lead the way through to the fallen tree across path. The Hare was happy to see the Keenies clamber over this fallen silver birch & the smaller branch, meanwhile He & My Lil' simply walked around this!
It was clear by the leaf litter now accumulating that autumnal weather is now upon us.
The Hash noticed that the temperature in the shade of the tree canopy was a lot cooler than outside in the sun, fortunately they Pack were soon out on to School lane where a CHK was found outside the gated drive to Whitehill Farm.
Sludge was still using his local knowledge as he ran down the slight incline to the School lane, where Alfa Male had just come back from!
Sludge called "On!" as he disappeared around the first part of the S-bend, the narrow lane is normally quiet, but one car passed by before the Pack had a short unhindered trot down to the farm Track out to the north between the fields that cover the hillside to the west of Welwyn, the village could be seen nestling in the green Hertfordshire Mimram valley to the east.
Porky Pie passed by Sludge as the wide track dipped slightly before climbing up to the north on its way to Linces Farm, he dragged Sludge, Stephen & a couple of other FRBs up there with him, not realizing that at the intersection of the footpath from Welwyn up to Whitehill farm a CHK had been missed. Stephen saw remnants of this flour circle, if closer inspection had happened then they would have realized what it was. He may have missed the CHK but he would be more eagle-eyed later pick up a golf ball near to School lane, asking “Is it one of the Hackers?” With the nearest Golf Club being the WGC one at Manicotts it was one hell of a slice if it was!
No Trail existed up toward Linces Farm, instead it was down diagonally heading passing a solitary old established oak down to the corner of the field by School Lane. It was here that ARP explained Radiation to Prince Garmin.
Out down through the gap in the hedgerow on the embankment to emerge out on to the very narrow single track School Lane, passing by entrance to the pumping station, then the drive way to the Queen Victoria Memorial Hospital the Trail reached the wider road with a footpath on onside & the Pack were out the way of any traffic
Sparky & Porky Pie led the way down to the junction where Hawbush Rise heads away up the residential hillside, double arrows pointed the way up to where a sign post declared there was a Footpath to the QVM, the Hare arrived & marked a short cut continuing along School Lane, he took this along with Judy to set up the Sweet Stop at the final Held CHK of the Trail where Elmoor Avenue joins School Lane.
The Keenies were led up on a loop to the northern end of Hawbush Rise, where the Dust led along by the garages at the back & then came down Wilga Avenue, named after he old name for Welwyn, before taking a cut-through by a few more garages to emerge in to Elmoor Avenue & from here it was a downhill trot to the Held CHK.
The sweets were enjoyed before the Pack started off on the final leg of the Run, as the Keenies got underway the RA reminded everyone of the Water Crossing. The Hash would soon find this as they came around the left hand corner on to Welwyn High Street, there arrows pointed the way down in to the ford in the river Mimram, while a T was on the footpath of the road bridge beside the water.
Mr X was surprised that nearly everyone joined him in wading through the cold water & then out to come up to the Zebra Crossing, the arrows were now yellow & perhaps not as east to see for Porky Pie, Alfa Male, Where's Wally & Judy all seemed to miss the On Inn & the arrow pointing way down Mimram Walk to the passageway By the former Baron of Beef that comes out on to Mill Lane.
Mr X went straight to the Pub, in order to grab some seats, he took his wet shoes off & ordered a couple of pint, then there was a slight kerfuffle in the background as Sparky struggled to get out of the gents, yes he had issues with the two doors! If that wasn’t enough, when he went to get changed he decided that the Sparky-mobile needed moving around the car park?
Steve couldn’t stay long & handed his money to Mr X, he then said he wanted to purchase a Herts Hash Shirt, so Mr X said he ought to see the Haberdasher about that with a “I am sure TBT OBE will have some shirts as he’s driven here!” TBT OBE arrived at the Pub after changing & was all “Ah! Oh! Well, I haven’t got any with me, I’ve left them at home!” So, another Haberdashery sale was wasted!
When it came to the circle the Pack stepped out the back in to the Sunny rear garden, among the Hits were the Hare for a splendid Trail that got the Hash back in the hour. Once the Hare (who is the RA) had finished his Down-Down that was presented to him by Paxo, normal service resumed. This week saw both Max Factor & Alfa Male reached their 69th Herts Run [Oh if only Pebbledash was there! - Ed] Porky Pie for running the furthest away on a track with no trail, no doubt lured away by the big white & orange plane up in the sky heading toward Luton Airport? My Lil’ for not getting his facts right about the Water Crossing, as Porky Pie’s pics would reveal that Where’s Wally went through the Ford.
TBT OBE was out for his escapades on the Bike Bash, which saw Ketchup join him for their crash on a ramp up to a bridge, but better still was when TBT OBE told of his Golfing incident that had fellow golfers almost wetting themselves, for TBT OBE was so eager to play his next shot on a fairway that he jumped out of his Golf Buggy & this promptly rolled forward just enough to stop on his foot. TBT OBE was then stuck with a buggy on his foot, & not able to reach the buggy’s peddles to move it off, he was eventually rescued.
Finally the Hashit went to Sparky, for knocking on the Pub door to ask where the car park was, then struggling to find his way out of the Gents & then his game of moving his car around the car Park!