Date = 27th November 2016
Run Number = 1707
Venue = The Boot
Location= Dane End
Beer = Squirrel Nuts, First Winters Ale, Black Sheep, Three Brewers Gold & Bitter, Rosie’s Pig
Hares = Ewok & Pebbledash
Runners = 19
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Newies = 0
Apres = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 19
Membership = Toasting the Old Boot!
This week saw Dylan from the EHMR turn out off his second Hash with Herts. Around the back of the Pub the GM called the circle together. Ewok, being one of the Hares with Pebbledash, who she described as the ‘Smutley Sisters’, welcomed the Pack to the correct Run Number.
Pebbledash then went through what the Pack could expect out on Trail, Sparky was warned in a not very subtle manner about blowing his horn as there were Horses out there on the Trail, amongst the menagerie of other animals that were also given a mention!
Then just for My Lil's benefit Pebbledash said that the Trail would start from a CHK where the Pack were gathered in the Pub's small rear car park, there was a large sigh from My Lil' while the rest of the Pack chuckled away at his plight! The footpath alleyway to the north was the most popular choice & it proved right as the Trail was found up on to Kennedy Road, there was a CHK found just a matter of yards from the first.
Lemming was impressed that Mr X was wearing shorts on this slightly fresh morning, the RA said he always wears shorts all year around, even on the snow, ice & hail! Lemming said to Mother "Mr X is very manly!"
The continuation of the alleyway was checked out & again this choice was correct, with "On!" called to the north, Porky Pie, ARP & Mr X were called back from the easterly route along the suburban street of Kings Field Road. The Pack came out on to the open fields north of the village, in quick succession the third CHK was found where the footpath splits on the open hillside. To the left, at the tear of the fenced off gardens, flying high in one was a Union Flag fluttering above the blue EU one.
Sludge was off to the nor-northeast on a Falsie, while Porky Pie, ARP, Max Factor & Alfa Male picked up on the correct route to the Nor-nor-west over Easingham common & up to the next CHK at a Y-shaped junction of footpaths. A Falsie was found on the right arm of the Y, to the northeast, while the true Trail was found on the left, northwestern arm.
On the way, Sparky was seen holding a long wooden flute like object, he told the RA that he had "lost his horn, but George was alright! [Steady Pebbledash, you commented on this on the day! - Ed]
Ewok ran to get to the front of the Pack, strung out along beyond the kink where the path changes direction to almost due north, meanwhile Pebbledash remained at the rear with 2-1-2 Maureen.
Ahead of him, Mr X thought he could hear a gate squeaking on the other side of the hedge, but as the route turned no gate was found. Then as he caught up with the Keenies to the west of Green End, he discovered that this noise was emanating from Sparky's woodwind instrument, which makes a very off-key sound that would probably only attract dogs & bats. Mr X said that it would be the ideal accompaniment for when Junior sings Mustang Sally!
The Trail came out on to the lane in to Green End to find a CHK there. Mr X & Lemming turned westward on by the isolated cottage that had free range eggs for sale to pick up the Trail on by the hens. Ewok suddenly whizzed by Mr X & Lemming, to get to the CHK by the fork in the path before they did, why was this? Well, these two hadn't fallen for the Falsie into Green end, unlike Porky Pie, Alfa Male, Sparky, Ketchup, Prince Garmin, ARP & Max Factor! So, the laughing Ewok put in a new & very fresh sign of evil that H5 adore so much, yes a dreaded Fish-hook 2! Which meant Mr X & Lemming had to go to the back of the Trail!
Sparky joined these two on their way back toward the rest of the Hash, which led Mr X to believe that Sparky didn't quite understand what these evil devices are about! Mother was cheered up seeing Lemming coming back toward her.
Fortunately Pebbledash & 2-1-2 Maureen weren't too far behind at this point.
Back on course & the Trail would take the right option at the fork in the path, now heading down through a leaf-littered track through the edge of Graves Wood to arrive in the bottom of the Bourne valley, where the trail would cross over the dry bed of the Old Bourne. A CHK was found on the west side of the water course, with the farm fields rising to the west. The Trail was picked by Ketchup to the northeast along the track by the hedgerow running along the edge of the Old Bourne.
There was now a very light precipitation in the air, but it was brief & soon blew over by the time the Pack would reach a regroup along this stretch, a Held CHK was found by the crossroads of farm tracks. On her approach to this, Ewok gave Prince Garmin a couple of packets of sweets to hand around.
Paxo was soon headed up the northwest track on the seeded hillside, there were a few fake coughs & other comments that alerted him to the fact he was moving off of the Held CHK, so he quickly stated the case that he was only trying get a better view of around the bend to see where 2-1-2 Maureen & Pebbledash were! He was also keeping an eye to see if TBT OBE was catching up, but it appears his promise to turnout was superseded by the chance to edge ever close to Commodores position! [What the old computer or Lionel Richie’s old group? – Ed]
Paxo wasn't the only one to break ranks, as My Lil' went off to scare the squirrels & no doubt surprise the sheep? More sweets arrived when Pebbledash & 2-1-2 Maureen came along to this point. A couple of pony riders approached the Hash, Pebbledash warned Sparky that he was in danger of having his flute inserted in to a place where the sun doesn't shine if he blew it & frightened the nags!
Hash Hush was obeyed once the Lady riders we told that there was another path further down where the Pack had been, which sounded like the one the two riders were searching for. Now, Sludge & Lemming led the likes of My Lil' & Ketchup along by the Old Bourne, but then Ewok shouted out "On back!" which led Mr X & those at the rear to think they would be crossing over the Old Bourne by the sheep paddocks & up through the wooded track up to Green End Farm.
So, imagine their surprise when Pebbledash, Dylan & 2-1-2 Maureen came back, Pebbledash exclaimed that there was "A Line of flour up there!". Ewok blushed as she realized that this was not the track the Trail turns off at, well not just yet!
The SCBs were now a fair way behind Lemming as he, unlike the rest hadn't turned back. However, he would fall foul of running on to a Bar CHK on the now north bound track, he came back to find the test lf the Pack going across the Old Bourne & up a footpath that snakes its way up to Haultwick. Mother was a little disbelieving of Mr X when she asked him if he knew where the Pack were & he replied "Artic!" & she had just seen the village sign with Haultwick written on it. He then said that Haultwick is pronounced by the locals as Artic! He add that there was a really good little Pub just further up the road beyond the CHK point just east of Haultwick Hall, but it was not open yet after being taken over & was still being renovated.
In a sad story he told of how the small red metal roofed building was run for a long time by the same family, with the son dying there a couple of years back after he had taken it over & McMullens putting the place up for sale. Herts have Hashed from the Rest & Welcome several time in the past & will have to go back when it reopens.
Porky Pie & Alfa Male seemed a bit hesitant of taking to the footpath that leads out to the fields to the fields behind Woolston Farm. Many weren't so trusting with the Ewok's directions! Mr X asked if she had passed the Rest & Welcome while setting the Trail, with the answer being in the negative he knew that the path leading away from opposite Frogshall Lane was the correct one but it took an age before Dust was found & then the Keenies continued southwestward without noticing that the Trail had changed direction at the corner of the fields to head eastward below the homes in Haultwick.
Back came Lemming, My Lil', Sloppy Seconds, Porky Pie, Ketchup, Alfa Male, Sparky & Sludge along the hedgerow, the RA Sludge & Sparky were now on the opposite side of the hedgerow to that they had run down!
Ewok was happy when the Dust became more apparent, which was more than could be said for those who popped through the hedge on to Run a few feet along by Wentworth Cottages to come back in to the field at its north-eastern corner, while other missed this out!
Now the Trail turned to a few degrees westward off of due south, this was a long straight path through the grass like crop & then through a kissing gate to cross Bandy Common, Mr X ran off before realizing that he had missed out on the chance to kiss Mother, Dylan didn’t catch on to this either! Anyhow the Trail passed in from arable farm land to pass by the large black bullocks [Whoa there Pebbledash! - Ed] as it went by Lordship Farm.
The path turned a few more degrees toward west as it run over one more field to reach the lane where the Norman All Saints Church sits at Little Munden, perched upon the hill above Dane End. There a bright red Land Rover outside the Church gate, it got a few admiring looks from Dylan & Ewok.
The Pack were respectful as they went through the graveyard, one civilian was found here looking at a grave stone, it was also noticed that there were a line of headstone in the same ornate white design, many bore the same surname of Brunton, which must have been a local surname.
Once out of the back of the Churchyard, the Trail was found again by the few steps down to the entrance of the local primary school, now it was a case of running down over Easingham Common where Sludge had been caught out at the very start of the Hash! The Union flag was still flying above the EU one in the breeze.
The On Inn was passed by before the T, then it was back through alleyways to the Pub.
Mr X was happy than most to see that there were still Ales going from the mini Beerfest, as he also found out that the Boot had a BT router, which meant he could have BT Sport on & watch the Saracens v Glassdoor game. That didn't go down too well with Prince Garmin & Dylan, who want to watch the Grand Prix. Mr X wasn't going to budge, but it didn't matter as they didn't have Sky anyway, which the motor racing was being broadcast on! [Shouldn’t Prince Garmin have been out in the garden with a packet of crisps? – Ed]
The Down-Downs took place at the rear patio garden, just in front of the group of Bikers who had arrived. Pepé le Pew put in a late appearance as well. The Hares were rewarded for an excellent Trail that they have no doubt just read about to see where they went?
Sparky was out for his Water Margin like pipe, that sounded like a squeaky gate, as well as losing his horn. Dylan was called forward for calming to have a ‘Classic Mini’ but on inspection of his knuckles it appears they all had skin!
The Hashit went to Ketchup, for being a 'Bad Dad' & not making sure Prince Garmin had an app to follow the Grand Prix!
What was more surprising of all was at the mention of a 75th Memorial Run, the fact that some of the Circle didn’t know who A.S. Gispert was? A lecture will becoming the way of the Hash very soon!