Date =                                      28th January 2017

Run Number =             1718                                                                                                                                     

Venue =                        The Crooked Billet

Location +                    Symonds Green, Silkingrad

Beer =                           Greedee King IPA & that was it!

Hares =                         No Eye Deer & Whatever She Says

Runners =                    14

Virgins =                       0

Visitors =                      0

Newies =                       0

Apres =                         0

Hounds =                      0

Total =                          14

Membership =            Lacking the choice of Ales!


This morning looked as if it was going to be an archetypal No Eye Deer Trail as in the distance dark clouds had gathered & the rain appeared to be heading toward the edge of Silkingrad where the Crooked Billet is located.  Mr X, My Lil’ & Tent Packer were the early arrivals & the other arrivals spotted them sitting outside the front of the Crooked Billet, under the eaves of a recess near one of the main doors, they were sheltering there as there was a very light precipitation in the air.

Those that arrived later were joined by the trio in the rear car park, having partaken in an earlier stout & a few of Tent Packer’s Pork Scratchings, which he describes as a true ‘Hash Breakfast’.  For Milf, this were her second Crooked Billet of the day, as she couldn’t get to Paxo’s house beyond the Crooked Billet upon Musley Hill [No it was due to the thick snow cap up there but the road works at the crossroads! – Ed]

This week saw Pebbledash turn out, well it’s was the start of the Chinese New Year of the Cock that probably got her out this morning!  Xīnnián hǎo gōngjī or Happy New Year Cock! 

As well as Pebbledash being back, it was also noticeable to nearly all of the Hash that No Eye Deer was wearing very white shoes, even the laces were immaculate!  But No Eye Deer claimed they had been worn on a Hash before, the RA pondered on this for a while.

The JM called the Circle together, No Eye Deer went through what the Pack could expect out there, the Trail was set in veritable rainbow of colours in Chalk & Dust, there were short cuts & that there was now a ‘Sweetie stop’ - thanks to the packet of sweets that Junior had given to My Lil’ when they briefly shared a train carriage on Friday!

The Trail started out on Symonds Green lane, heading northward up by the pond that had been tidied up around its edges but appears still be a haven for the lesser spotted coke bottles, the Great Flat Football & other abandoned jetsam. 

Arrows pointed he way off of the green space & on to the old narrow Symonds Green lane as it makes its way through the estates built up in the 1970’s, the first stretch of surrounding streets are named Minehead Road, strangely all the streets around this area have a seaside resort theme!

The Trail hadn’t gone that far before the Keenies of Alfa Male & Milf were led off up a side street to find a Bar CHK, back on the old lane & a little further along the first true CHK was found up by the underpass with Clovelly Way. All the falsie from here were searched before My Lil’ decided to go back under the underpass & check out the western side of the arterial road, where he found the Trail.  My Lil’ was quick to comment on the RA’s access to that side of the road via running up the eastern grass embankment & then down the western side.

The RA didn’t gain much ground as he then fell for the Falsie from the next CHK by Minehead Way, but Alfa Male, Milf & My Lil’ fared better by continuing along to the north until they reached a Bar CHK, by which time Mr X had gained just enough ground back to reach the footpath off between the back of the houses that form four sets of cul-de-sacs, with two on the south side & two on the north of Brighton Way.

The Dust now led on to the wooded stretch run slightly off of due north to south, that partially acts as a sound-break between the homes & the walled off A1(M), though judging by the noise it doesn’t seem to have that much of an effect.  The Trail weaved its way through the trees until reaching an smaller open space, where Mr X & My Lil’ caught up with the woman walking her Saint Bernard Dog, which earlier back on Symonds Green decided to stop & she couldn’t budge the pooch, once she had let it off its lead that the Pooch got up & started to amble along beside her!  She & her friend, with a much smaller dog, asked why No Eye Deer why she had a bottle of milk with her on the Run?  It was the container that contained her flour for marking the Trail with.

Alfa Male was soon on Trail from the CHK on the green embankment space behind the Fisherman at Fisher’s Green, while Sparky, My Lil’, Tent Packer & Mr X carried on toward the road out of Fishers Green without finding Dust, so they turned back to follow the rest out through the Fisherman’s car park & then out over the green to the north of the homes of the small Fisher’s Green Estate.

My Lil’ was pretty much on the ball as he crossed the green area & on to the Fisher’s Green Road he had almost reached a few minutes earlier!   The Trail headed westward out over the A1(M) toward Todds Green.  Mr X had to make a pit stop to scare the Squirrels behind the Fisherman & by the time he had caught up & passed by Pebbledash & Paxo, then Where’s Wally to get on the west side of the motorway he was just in the right place to overhear the Hare mention that Max Factor, Milf, Sparky, Tent Packer & My Lil’ would all be running on to a Bar CHK around the long sweeping bend just before reaching the hamlet.

The Footpath at the start of the bend, which was signposted to the southwest was where Mr X picked up the Dust as it led on down between the paddocks beside the A1(M) to the east & the small estate of industrial units to the west, this path had the first bit of Shiggy, but as yet it would not be the deepest or clingiest of the Trail, for the Dust led in to an enclosed Paddock below the units.

The Trail now cut back to the northwest as it headed up to the corner & the marked footpath back behind the industrial units & then on a drier cinder path on through Lucas Wood, then on a straight footpath over a series of empty horse paddocks on its course northwestward out to Titmore Green, Mr X & My Lil’ spotted the Horse-riding school, with girls out learning their horse-womanship, so they put up their arms to indicate Hash-Hush. 

Sparky got the message as he caught up with them as they slowed to walk the last bit as it was in sight of the ponies before the path headed out of view beside a thatched cottage on Lower Titmore Green lane.  Here the only Held CHK of the Trail was found.  Though Sparky did have a few issues earlier with his horn, he couldn’t get a tune out of it when he blew it from the wrong end. [God that sounds so inappropriate! - Ed]

When Milf arrived Tent Packer was keen to point out that aptly she was now at Titmore Green, since she was wearing a green T-shirt it did seem appropriate.  Mr X & My Lil’ mentioned that they hadn’t Hashed around this area for a long time, & how Fartin Martin used to like setting Trails from the Hermit of Redcoats, located just up the  road.

No Eye Deer arrived & produced the packet of the Jelly Babies, just as Prince Garmin & Ketchup arrived.  Prince Garmin was almost offered the bag of sweets to hand around, but then the Hare was told that he’s eat the lot if he could!  Max Factor turned down a Jelly Baby, while Alfa Male, Where’s Wally?, Tent Packer & Sparky didn’t turn one down, but where were Pebbledash & Paxo?  No Eye Deer when to look back behind the Cottage to see how far behind they were, there she found out that Whatever She Says had put these two on a short cut.

Mr X spotted a couple of Goldfinches fliting in amongst the hedgerows, as well as various tits [Whoa there Pebbledash, titmice & titmouse are the full proper name for these avains! – Ed]  When the Trail resumed My Lil’ & Mr X were keen on the southern option & this proved to be correct one, but by the time they reached the CHK on the bend in the lane they would now go wrong as they choose the southeastern footpath into the fields but they soon found a T.

As they came back from the Falsie, the others behind them headed up a the northeast bound footpath but the real Trail was not up there either, for it would be back on the narrow tarmac lane & continue further along the rustic route until it turned southeastward & the tarmac gave way to became an uncapped farm track.

The going along uncapped track wasn’t too bad, the hedgerows on either side sheltered the hash from the sight of motorway, then at a gap for a junction with another farm track leading off to the east a CHK was found.  My Lil’ headed off down this, believing that he would intercept the SCBs on their walk along from the paddocks & industrial estate earlier, but he wouldn’t find the Trail down there as a kindly woman out walking her pooch told him that there was White Circles of powder further up the main Track he had just left!

The RA didn’t believe My Lil’s pleas of “I didn’t ask her if the Trail was down there, she told me!”  The Keenies continued along the main track & the Shiggy began to get deeper with a few puddles covering the route as well, as the Hash followed the Dust up to a point where there was a loop around a wooded elbow, with the first arm dropping down within the trees but at the 90° turn the Trail took to the path on the outside of the tree-line, which was less sheltered & now there was a slight feel of drizzle in the air.

Luckily the Rain didn’t materialize as the Trail came out in to the open, this section had some of the best really deep slippery Shiggy as the Pack slid around to the southeast & come out to a CHK in the corner of one of the large crop fields.  From here My Lil’ & Mr X headed off over the Shiggy path straight through the stubble crop field, the FRBs all agreed that No Eye Deer’s Hash shoes had not been over this section, or the part further back, as this was really clinging clay that built up in to huge clods, for No Eye Deer’s shoes wouldn’t have appeared to be ‘Box fresh’ before the Trail started.

As the searching FRBs were heading toward the tree-line to the southeast, they spotted Paxo at the southern end of this, both he & Pebbledash were up to mischief as they called out “On! On!” to the FRBs which resulted in a bit of cutting over to the farm Track the Trail was really ‘On’ to try & catch up with Alfa Male, Milf & Max Factor on the correct Trail.

Now, things should have been easy for those cutting over the stubble remains of the crop, but at the edge of the field was a deep ditch.  Now for some it wasn’t too much of an issue, My Lil’ cleared it in one, then Sparky had a go & fell on his horn! [Poor George! – Ed] & he laid there for a while face down.  Tent Packer showed no sympathy as he said “Don’t move Sparky, I’ll run over the top of you!” to which Mr X added “You’re not in the First World War Trenches & he’s not laying over any barbed-wire!” [Bet he felt a prick though? – Ed]

Tent Packer & Mr X cleared the ditch, but still coming over the field were Prince Garmin, Ketchup & Where’s Wally, the first of this group managed to get over the ditch, but Where’s Wally? had a mishap as he aggravated his hamstring on landing after his ‘Leap of Faith’!.  The Keenies made their way to the end of the tree line, only to be disappointed to find that they had been deliberately lured there by Paxo & Pebbledash when they could have taken the shorter & far safer route they started off on down in the middle of the field.

The Trail now headed northward a short way behind the hedge before it picked up the path some had been lured off of, then it as an eastward turn to head under the A1(M) & emerge from the subway & back in outskirts of Silkingrad (Stevenage).  There was a short diversion around a block of houses that was the longer way back to Symonds Green had Paxo panicking he had gone wrong as My Lil’ had gone off the other way, but the RA said that there was nothing to fear & even with this slightest of loops the Pack were back in an hour!

The pack changed, some were disappointed to find that they only had IPA on in the Pub, Mr X & My Lil’ were almost in a state of shock at this, then after managing to get some clean glasses a few bottles of Old Speckled Hen made up for this woeful situation!  Perhaps this is a ploy by Whatever She Says to get us to be a Tee-Total Hash?

While some had very delicious food, which Milf generously gave away to feed parky & the RA.  Those at the table got to hear how Sparky hasn’t had any heating in his igloo flat since his boiler packed up in the 1980’s, it made some around the table feel cold just thinking about it.

At least things were warmer with the Girls discussing Max Factor’s ‘Civilian Hen-night’, then Pebble Dash & Milf decided to play with the menus that were carefully positioned to declare their busts were “Tempting Treats!”

The JM & Hash Beer Meister were busy playing pool to get the Circle going.  Eventually the RA got the JM’s attention & the Circle was formed inside the Bar yet again, well there really wasn’t anyone in there to upset.

The Hares were rewarded for a Trail that was hard work in places in the Shiggy, but worth it for an hour’s trot to clear out the cobwebs!  My Lil’ received his for his unconvincing “She told me!  I didn’t ask her!” when he encountered the dog-walker out on Trail & she told him where the Dust was.  Paxo & Pebbledash got their just deserts for the evil trick in luring the gullible to risk life & limb over the ditch!  [It was lucky that TBT OBE wasn’t there then! – Ed]