Date =                            18th June 2017

Run Number =            1741                                                                                                                                     

Venues =                      The Lordship Arms

Location:                      Benington

Beer =                            London Pride & a couple of guests

Hares =                          No Eye Deer & Whatever She Says

Runners =                    11

Virgins =                        0

Visitors =                       0

Newies =                       0

Après =                          0

Hounds =                      0

Total =                          11

Membership =              Lording it up at the Lordship!


Supposedly this was the hottest day of the year, it certainly felt that the thermometer was at the top end of the scale as the pack gathered in the car park of the Lordship Arms.  When the RA arrived he spotted the Hares coming back from Hebings, where they had been out to check on the state of the Trail they had set the day before.  They needn’t have worried as there was no overnight rain to have washed it out. 

The pre-Trail talk seemed centered around Campervans, notably their onboard toilets & all things portaloo!  [Didn’t take long to get down to basics today! – Ed]

The small number circled up when the GM called things to order just on the Hour, this was a brief welcome as Ewok added that her legs were seeing the Sun, the glare of which made her pins look like a pair florescent tubes.

The Hares were called forward to explain what was out there for the Pack to encounter.  There was mention of Horses & Cows that could be encountered en route, then the important bits of Held CHKs in the shade, the latter of which didn’t need holding if it was too hot by the time the Hash arrived there.  Then No Eye Deer became apologetic as she added that the Trail was a long one, so it may be wise to take a bottle of water along!  The Hares had spare bottles of water for those who needed one, but being within the ‘sell-by’ date Sparky stuck to his own.

The Trail began almost straight across from the Pub as the Pack were directed by No Eye Deer on to Hebings, passing by a mum out with her kids & dog as the Trail was found by these newer residences in the southern end of Benington.  The Trail left the homes behind as the road narrowed & turned a few degrees from eastward to northward to become a driveway up to Moles Farm. 

Half way along the driveway & a loud sudden crash of bottles broke the air as loads of empties were turned out in to a recycling bin, the sort of noise that is normally associated with being outside of Junior’s House.  Looking over the fence & the huge garden had been the venue for a Wedding, with marquees & tables all neatly set out for the Happy Day.

A CHK was discovered at the seemingly dead-end of the main drive, this seemed to confuse Sparky as he continued on the narrower section of the Drive, meanwhile Ewok was leading My Lil’ & Mr X off up the northbound footpath beside Moles Farm.  Trail was found here though it didn’t last long as the three were soon out in to the open once again.

Just by the CHK at an intersection of paths at the southern end of Home Covert Wood, the RA pointed out the signs staked out in the grass, one of which was upside down, this one read “Disabled Riding Route” but the arrow pointed Eastward.

My Lil’ & Mr X continued on the main path as it turned Northwestward, through the tree line & out in to a hayfield but this turned out to be a fruitless search as Ewok had found the Trail off on the ‘Disabled Riding’ route. Along the edge of a crop field this dry & dusty route would soon drop down away to the East, Paxo walked this bit, claiming to Max Factor that it was ankle turning & that you couldn’t go to work on a twisted ankle, Mr X took this to mean that Paxo didn’t trust our resident Medics?

This was the start of a very scenic Run, as the Hash looked out a perfect countryside vista, there were no towns or industrial carbuncles to spoil the vista.  In the bottom of this valley another CHK was found, near to the wooden footbridge spanning the seemingly dried up tributary to The Old Bourne river.

The Trail was picked up again fairly quickly, over the wooden bridge on a section of the ‘Chain Walk’ but then the Hash left the perimeter of the crop field to run up in the inside western edge of Witnesses Wood.  The going was a bit rough & ready on this Northeast bound, raised desire line among the trees, it undulated & added to this terrain were other hidden hazards were knurled old roots from the broad-leaf trees. 

Ewok, My Lil’ & Sparky led the way, with Milf, Alfa Male & Mr X to a more level, slightly more open area where the first of the Held CHKs was found.  Here there was a bizarre conversation about certain words people don’t like including Moist, Gussets & Most Gussets on a day like this!  Mr X added that you can’t have a decent Malt-loaf if it isn’t moist!  Then the conversation led on to Yeast from intimate areas, Mr X added that a Craft Beer has already been fermented from this!  [Polish brewery Order of Yoni, selected Czech model Alexandra Brendlova as the supplier of yeast cells! – Ed]

While Max Factor, Paxo, Ketchup & Prince Garmin followed on along the lumpy, bumpy old route in the woodland, Kylie came around from far smoother parallel path out on the field’s edge.  Once the Hash were all together the Hares allowed the Keenies to get on with things, so both My Lil’ & Sparky looking out to the east & toward Shout’s Wood in the distance, both would be back after calls of “On!” came from the northeast as Ewok & Milf picked up the Dust on a slightly strange wonky little path out of the wood.

Now the Keenies led the way back out in to the blazing sun, there was little cover now as the Pack ran up a farm track through fields of broad beans, this dusty track led up hill to join at a T-Junction another track that rises from the Southeast & heads up to the Northwest, again Milf & Ewok seemed to make easy work of this & were soon up around the bend & heading due north.

As Mr X came around the bend in the farm track, he could see up ahead of him that Ewok & Milf had now stopped  & rolled up their T-Shirts fronts behind their heads & letting loose those puppies!  By the time the RA had reached the next CHK on the hard-capped driveway up to Walkern Park Farm in the northwest, it was here that Milf & Ewok decided that everyone else should reveal their chests until the back markers arrived! 

Mr X put his T-shirt behind his neck, Sparky likewise but as he did so he revealed that he had a plaster over one of his nipples!  [Has he had it pierced? – Ed] apart from this unnerving sight, at this high point there was another great Herts view to be enjoyed.

A car drove by & created a cloud of dust, it seemed that the driver was taking his mum out & the elderly passenger looked on in amazement at such a sight.  Another car would pass by later on & some wondered where they were going as apart from the Farm, there was nothing else up this route.

It was here, while standing in the shade by the hedgerow, that Ewok got some sweat & sun-lotion in one of her eyes, Sparky offered up a small towel & Ewok wiped her face, then was suddenly struck by the thought that this small towel may be George’s!  She wasn’t the only one groaning at such a thought of it being a Wankerchief.

No Eye Deer was intrigued as to why this CHK was being held, but like Max Factor & most of the back markers she didn’t go for the revealed bust look!  Alfa Male reveled his chest & the GM’s knees trembled at the sight, [Get George’s towel out again! – Ed] Prince Garmin wasn’t averse to removing his T-Shirt either, but not for too long as the UV levels were high this morning & common sense prevailed, most covered themselves back up & it was also noted that the majority of the Pack were wearing Red T-shirts this morning.

The Pack continued with the popular option on the drive to Walkern Park Farm.  Mr X picked up the Trail but was temporarily thrown off course from of this drive, albeit briefly at the CHK half way along this route, he was soon back to follow on, he passed by Max Factor & Alfa Male

Through the farmyard to turn off to the Southwest & begin a decent in to the valley, at the bottom of which the last Held CHK was found in the shade of a small wooded area.  Mr X went walkabout as the Hares had said at the Circle that this needn’t be held, then had a slight change of heart later on. 

Once called Back, Mr X wandered back to join the rest in the shade.  No Eye Deer arrived, many were sad to see that there were no Jelly Babies on offer, not eve any melted ones.  Mr X wished he had carried on along the wide dry path through the crop of barley.

Allowed to continue with the Trail, Mr X went back to the diagonal path he was on earlier where he had seen four blobs of flour, however, for Sparky this meant nothing & he hadn’t noticed the RA retracing his steps.  Sparky blindly went off in a totally different direction, where he didn’t find any Dust!

The Footpath rose up the opposite side of the valley, a trot up the hill with Benington Park sitting over to the East, part the way up the hillside & a CHK was found.  Ewok, Milf & Sparky were all lured away toward the park in the east, but Mr X had other ideas as he knew that Benington was not far over the ridge & so he too to the footpath on the opposite side of the hedgerow separating the fields.

Thing soon ground to a walk on the way up the incline, almost at the top & the running resumed then the cooling breeze suddenly dropped & for Mr X & the FRBs it felt like running in to a wall of heat.  The Trail now made its way out from behind the row of homes & around on to the drive way out of Benington Park, arrows pointed the way down to the south, it was here that the pack encountered a bunch of girls doing their Duke of Edinburgh Award & they were having an issue with the map in their search for a pond.

After the Hash had a long look at the map, some concluded that the girls, laden down with rucksacks & walking gear, were going the wrong way but were left until the Hares Arrived to confirm which way they should go.  The Keenies resumed the run & headed on beside the fenced off pond to make their out down the drive & on to Town Lane, which runs in all but name from one end of Benington to the other.

Arrows directed the Pack Southward as the road becomes Whempstead Lane, there were a set of double arrows pointing the way in to an adjacent field at the unbuilt upon area between the two parts of the village, a Bar CHK stopped any progress up through the village road, tough My Lil’ ignored this & carried on to the Pub.  The rest of the Pack to the Hash continued with the more scenic option of the Trail in the West of the village, this turned to become a parallel path through the fallow fields behind the new build homes of Goodey Meade in the village.  To the west were un-spoilt view of more Herts Countryside

The Trail came out through a gate on to the Burns Green lane, here Sparky said “I know where I am now!” as he stepped on to the shady dead end lane & saw On Inn in pink letters chalked on the tarmac, Milf was quick to point out the figure of My Lil’ the few yards up at the Pub, she added “Look at the Short Cutter up there!”

The Pack sat out in the Garden, which is in the top 10 CAMRA Pub Gardens, according to Ketchup.  Kylie was impressed that our esteemed GM had compiled the words for the last Trail, though he clearly hadn’t read it yet.  Alfa Male then said that as there were only three on the previous Day’s Trail, that he would write that up [You can embellish it to be the best Trail of the year if you want Alfa! – Ed]

The RA couldn’t hang around as he need to get away, so the Circle was called & the Hares were awarded for a great scenic Trail, which was 5 miles for the Keenies, taking only an hour & 10 to get around.  Sparky was awarded his Hit for reaching 200 Runs [That’s a Herts 200 Run Cap for him Mr Haberdasherer! – Ed]  Alfa Male was out for celebrating his Birthday the day before, at the Gibberd Garden Beerfest Trail!  Milf & Ewok were out for “Getting them Puppies out!” on the Trail!