Date = 19th November 2017
Run Number = 1765
Venues = The Hollybush
Beer = GK IPA;
Tent Packer Sparky
Runners = 10
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Newies = 0
Après = 0
Hounds = 1
Total = 11
Membership = Confused.com!
It’s another Long Story of one Hare pulling out & another standing in, with Sparky replacing Tent Packer! Things didn’t bode well for those who weren’t out in the warmth of Lanzarote or hold up in the nice warm Hobbit Holes, or even going out for a ride on a pony!
Sparky had been given a map from Tent Packer, who was unable to set his Trail after an invite to a secret 65th Birthday Party that weekend which couldn’t be missed. The Trail map was so old that it was on Velum & marked in cubits, so you’d have thought that he’s be able to have read this with ease? Perhaps not!
Milf & Kylie arrived, which wasn’t bad going as they had only just arrived back from Florida, watched the England Rugby match in the Crown & Falcon that evening & were now at the Hash, perhaps because it was Kylie’s Birthday [What some people do for a free Pint? – Ed] The GM had already sent a text message to the RA that morning to alert him to this fact, which also came up on Farcebook. The RA’s reply was “Hope the jet-lag & Rugby in the Crown & Falcon didn’t ruin his ‘Birthday sh*g!”
Anyhow, there was no GM present this morning, going for a trot on an equine on this bright, mild morn was seemingly preferable to partaking in Sparky’s interpretation of Tent Packer’s Trail. So, after the hiatus of a loo break for some, the Pack circled up outside of the Hollybush as Paxo called the Pack to order & welcomed everyone to the correct Run number.
Then it was over to the Hare, who began a long rambling speech that would have made Robert Mugabe proud, in not actually really informing the Pack on anything they needed to know, with the exception of there were short cuts & that the Hare got lost at the beginning of the Trail! The mood of the Circle still remained jovial, if it was only that of a now nervous laugh rippling around the Circle.
Having already looked for any signs of Trail before the Hare arrived, there was a worry that he may have forgotten as he wasn’t at the Hollybush when the first of the Hash arrived, Sludge & Mr X knowing that there was a T on the other side of the Church Gate started off away from the St Mary’s at Church End.
At the bottom of West Common an arrow pointed the way up over the first of the sections of green space that make up the larger communal space. A CHK was found on the northeastern side of Flamsteadbbury Lane on the main footpath path that leads right over the centre of the large lozenge shaped section of the Common, running up to the local Cricket Club, one of the oldest in the Country & therefore the World.
Mr X led the way, which was not surprising as he had a peek at the map that Tent Packer had marked out in day-glo orange marker, when he translated it into a 1:25000 Scale OS version for Sparky, in the process of which he removed the X for the buried Treasure & the ‘Here be Monsters’ in order not to confuse the stand-in Hare. It didn’t work!
The RA now headed by the Cricket Club & out over Lybury Lane to find a CHK on the southern edge of the northern section of the common, it was from here that Mr X’s so called ‘inside knowledge would now fail him. Now leaving the tarmac path across the common, Mr X chose to look on the diagonal muddy path over the grass to North Common Road where he didn’t see any Trail.
“On!” was called back by the northwestern tip of the North Common, where a CHK was found near to the stone bench, from here Fliptop, Milf & No Eye Deer all searched Lybury Lane where it heads away to its suburban northwest but they were soon back & running down toward Mr X, who was on his way back up to them. The Keenies now headed back along North Common Road with the RA retracing his steps, where faded arrows were now seen, Mr X missed these as they were hidden by a pram earlier.
At the end of North Common Road, a CHK was found, or was it? For there was a Cross through this Circle & a T beside the seemingly crossed out CHK! Confusion reigned as Lofty & Henry joined the FRBs at this northwestern tip of the Common. Another trudge back with Lofty, No Eye Deer, Fliptop, Milf now lay ahead for Mr X, which seemed to amuse the guy out walking his Boarder Terrier & had now been passed by several times by the RA.
Fliptop & Mr X led the way back on Trail as the arrows & Dust were found on urban end of Lybury lane, as they came around the bend in the road a horse rider on a large grey nag came toward them, so Mr X went back to be in sight of the others around the bend to raise an arm to indicate a ‘Hash Hush’.
Fliptop led the way further down Lybury Lane, stopping at the point where a semicircular green of the stirrup shaded Nicholl’s Close was found, he looked perplexed up ahead by the bus shelter, with his arms out to indicate that he had thought that he had lost the Trail, Mr X arrived & found CHK on a telecom cover that Fliptop had gone beyond. Looking back Mr X noticed a large green cabinet in front of one of the homes, green box noticeably had a mooning gnome on top of it! The naughty garden ornament was pointed out to Fliptop, who enquired was it Sludge Mr X was talking about?
Arrows were found on northeast bound connecting end of Nicholl’s Close, then there was Dust leading away down Snatchup Lane to the southeast, by now Sludge, Milf & No Eye Deer were ahead of Fliptop & Mr X after they had checked out the other options to no avail. An arrow on the grass verge pointed the way northward at the junction where the road joins Lords Meadow, but beyond this there was no more Dust to be found.
Fliptop, Mr X & Sludge searched up Crouch Hall Lane, an old route but again one without any Trail, it was around here that Mr X confessed to Sludge that he had cheated with the Hash Trash for this week, or so he had hoped, but writing in the Trail from the Map to save some time on Monday! [The Best laid plans of mice & men! Buggered up by Sparky! – Ed]
So cutting back in front of the local School, Sludge & Mr X found No Eye Deer & Milf also coming back from fruitlessly searching the other options. All of this errant searching had eaten away at the time & the minute hand was now past the half hour mark! There was some grumbling amongst the Keenies.
Retracing their steps back to the CHK, the Trail was now found to have suddenly appeared to be marked further up Lybury Lane to the North, however there was no sign of Kylie, Paxo or Pebbledash, perhaps they were ahead of the Pack with the Hare?
Fresh arrows pointed the way over to Tassell Hall road, it was on this short road that the Hare was found on his own. Now the Keenies made their way around from the west bound on to southern dead-end section of Tassell Hall road, at the end of which is a cut-through to the fields behind the homes, here the first Held CHK was found.
The Four remaining Keenies waited for the rest to arrive & enjoy the mull Wine Gums the Hare produced from his bum-bag, but the SCBs never arrived to enjoy this new packet of in-date sweets! By now it was 11:45 but Sludge, Milf & No Eye Deer were keen to actually run on a bit of open countryside, Mr X on the other hand knew where Tent Packer intended to take the Pack & with two miles already used up there would be another four miles to add on to that.
More of a decider for Mr X to run a mile back to the Pub was that there it was only 10 minutes until ‘opening time’ plus he may sweep up Lofty & Henry, as well as Fliptop & maybe even Paxo & Pebbledash, but a phone call from No Eye Deer to Paxo to check on their progress soon put an end to stumbling over to the latter two as they had abounded the vague Trail ages ago to wander back to the On Inn.
So, off No Eye Deer, Milf & Sludge went on the northwestward option out on the long Trail heading over toward the M1, the footpath would turn almost due north as it hugged the embankment before running in to a small wood beside the motorway. Then it was over the bridge that takes it from beside the bottom of the Showgrounds to cross the motorway to Norringtonend Farm in to Northwest.
A CHK just beyond the Farmyard saw the Trail being picked up to the crossroads of footpaths in the fields to the east of Delmerend Farm, on to the lane that bears its name. The footpath that leads out on to the narrow Redding lane had the real Trail on it, this led the Pack down to the south to another CHK, on another crossroads of footpaths, this one heading from Trowley Bottom in the west to Norringtonend Farm.
By now the FRBs were finding picking up the Trail not as easy, as being allowed to run a log Falsie down toward Nicholls Farm near to the M added more mileage to their Run! Sparky had changed the route now to add a bit more on to the original Trail by Tent Packer, which would have come back Inn on the footpath that was a long Falsie. At least it was bright enough for the quartet to get a few pics in, which some perceived as a common survival tactic to keep minds occupied & boost moral when stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Instead the Keenies would eventually find the Trail on the southwesterly bound path to an elbow in the narrow rustic Green Lane, from where the Trail would be picked up on the southeasterly Hertfordshire Way track through to Flamsteadbury Farm, this track would pass by the farmyard & head over to the M1.
On the east side of the Thick Blue line on an OS Map, the Trail cut over to the western edge of Redbourn along the southeasterly footpath that would cut diagonally the over the field oward the back of the homes, but then it turned to head southwesterly along behind the back of Saberton Close & down on to the path that runs through the Church Grounds.
The RA arrived back at the On Inn find that Fliptop was already getting changed in the rear car park, while there was no sign of Paxo, Pebbledash or the Birthday Boy. So, the RA got a pint & sat in front of the large blazing real log fire in the Bar. Lofty arrived back, she went back out again to do the last part of the Trail backwards, heading off through St Mary’s Churchyard but she wouldn’t see the Keenies as they were still miles away at this point in time, so she turned back to come in & pay her dues after picking up a Trash. Lofty wasn’t hanging around as she was off to join the ‘Catch the Hare’ Trail in the Smoke.
The RA said that he reckoned that the others Keenies would be out there another 20 minutes, but with no hints from the Hare, the Keenies would be out there for 40 extra minutes! Time enough for the others to get settled in & buy the Birthday Boy a couple of drinks. While Fliptop contacted Tent Packer, who accepted the blame for it all & would don the Hashit for this when he’s back in the Fold.
A few details of the Christmas weekend were sorted out, then it was time for the Circle. As there was no Book, it was presumed that there were no anniversaries. So, the Hare was called out for his Down-Down; the Birthday Boy couldn’t manage a whole pint & was let off with a Half. Finally Mr X received the last one for trying to get the Hash Trash done before the Trail had even taken place!
Back inside the Bar & Kylie decided that he would wipe the memory of this Trail by chucking Ale all over the maps Sparky had, the day-glo marker pen, just like the Hash, ran everywhere over the A4 sheet [Kind of prophetic then, as the Hash ran aimlessly around most of Redbourn! – Ed] to now resemble a Rorschach test. Kylie also soaked the Trashes & Hareline.