Date =                             25th Feb 2018

Run Number =             1783    

Venue =                         The Bull

Location =                     London Colney

Beer =                             London Pride; Farr Best; Black Sheep

Hares =                          Wanktlers

Runners =                     13

Virgins =                        2

Visitors =                       0

Newies =                       0

Après =                          0

Hounds =                      1

Total =                          16

Membership =            Animal Crackers scaring the locals!


As Hashers started to gather in the car park it was soon noted that the Hash had filled the car park.  The landlord apologized but asked us to move elsewhere as he was fully booked for lunch.  He instructed the Hash to go to the nearby car park, which was inevitably full as it was situated next to a church.  Then an almost comedic precession of Sparky, Alfa Male, Tent Packer and Marie played follow the leader around a rather small car park to come out the other side and disperse to any space on side-streets they could find.

The Circle began to form, with Tent Packer bearing his usual generosity of Pork Scratchings much to the delight of many, except Mother who proclaimed it was too early for Pork Scratchings.  Alfa Male got too excited and dropped them on the floor, how dare he drop such precious cargo on the floor!  Although Lola didn’t seem to mind.

It was noticed that Mr X was missing (when does he ever miss a run?).  It turned out he had a better offer for a Hash birthday party up in the midlands.

Wanklers began to give out his ‘Animal Bingo’ for us to cross off during the run.  Much to the confusion of many of the Hashers as it was in French.  Sludge asked for a different language and Milf swapped for a German one.  Something seemed a bit odd there. 

The Circle was called by Sludge as we had seemed to be left to our own defensive with no GM, RA and the JM was parking the car!  We were introduced to two Virgins Marie and Kelly.

The Hashers were pointed On! On! over the road, but for their first trick was to actually cross the road.  It was lucky a kind motorist was there to let the group cross all together.  Where’s Wally for once found the right direction with Tent Packer and Alfa Male following.  “Petrol!” was screamed as the Front Runners tried to avoid Paxo still trying to find a space to park, who nearly ran over his fellow Hashers.

The Hash headed on to the path near a lovely little pond, where the Front Runners were soon to find themselves running off trail and had to be called back by the Hare, we would find out why later on.

Sparky was the first to find the first Check, he checked one way and Where’s Wally? checked another.  Milf followed Sparky taking with her the virgins and Des Res’ up the garden path’ - so to speak.  She should know better to “Follow Trail not people!”                      

Where’s Wally? had done it again, he had found the correct way!  It was a miracle.  My Lil’, Tent Packer, Alfa Male and Max Factor all followed on around the field and to the pet’s corner.  Tent Packer and Max Factor stopped to cross Mouton et Vaches [Sheep and Cows! – Ed] off of their French sheet.  While the Grumps of the group carried on with the smell of beer to keep them going.  For a brief moment Tent Packer and Max Factor considered joining the tractor ride but decided against it, wasn’t that good of them.

The Pack headed back to the pond, where this time they took more time to appreciate the animals, there were Geese, Ducks and Coots.  Milf proclaimed that she saw a Kingfisher, we all doubted her but she produced her picture of the Kingfisher from the local information board.  Technically it was specified that they had to be real animals.

The Trail carried on down the High street where the long cutters ran off round the football field while the FRB’s made it all round the field when the rest of the pack arrived.  Seeing the FRBs across the field some short cutting was a foot, led by Tent Packer and Des Res as they cut across the field. 

The Short Cutters carried on down the High street and then were very pleased to be at the front of the pack.  But for Max Factor, Marie and Kelly their pleasure to be up front was soon as lost as the Trail and had to head back with their tails between their legs to the last point they saw the Trial, at which the point the FRB’s came past and their lead was lost.

The Trail cut across the High street again leading us down a track to another set of football pitches.  The Short Cutters cut across the football pitches where the FRBs carried along the track and turned left to the road.  To get back onto the football pitches the Trail followed a very unused footpath through some brambles – Alfa instantly regretting wearing his shorts. [Ha! At least we know that the nettles don’t sting this time of year! – Ed]

From the field the Trail went into the tree line.  Leading the way were Ware’s Wally?, Milf and Tent Packer along the route down to the river Colne.  The path led them all the way back along the river Colne to the ON INN on the small bridge near the Green Dragon and back to the Bull.

On arrival at the pub, it was to everyone’s dismay that the car park was empty.  Looked like the Lunch bookings were all walking in today.  Everyone settled in with their beverage of choice and with the football going in the background [Mother not realising whilst standing in front of the TV].

Wanklers had further fun ‘farm activities’ in the shape of a colouring picture of a farm scene, along with dishing out the crayon’s.  [Glad to see the Hare wasn’t giving the Pack any sharp objects! – Ed] Milf, Kelly, Marie and Des Res dived straight in and were clearly the most excited to relive their childhoods.  Max collected the subs and gave Spermhead a list drinks to buy.

As the football reached half time all were called On Out! The group Circled outside with Paxo raising a toast to the Hash.  Our RA was missing for today’s Trail so the positioned was voluntarily taken up by Max Factor.  Milf was on hand as Choir Mistress to provide the songs to the Down-Downs. The first Down-Downs was to the Hare for the superb maiden trail that was laid.          

The next up for a drink was Alfa Male for his clumsy antics before the run when he spilled the pork scratchings on the floor.  Next up were our two virgins Marie and Kelly. They safely dispatched their drinks. No one likes a short cutter, so Tent Packer and Des Res were called out for the next Down-Down to their dismay.  There was one drink left and it was decided by a Hash vote between Milf for the use of technology on the hash and to our wee friend Lemming for having a wee on the Hash.  Lemming won the Down-Down emphatically.

We all thought that was the end of the Circle, but it was not! Wanklers called out that it was time to judge the competition for the best coloured farm scene.  He displayed the pictures and the group cheered for their favourite.  The winner of a sheep mask and colouring book was our Virgin Kelly.