Date =                            4th March 2018

Run Number =             1785    

Venue =                        The Letchworth Garden City Brewery

Location =                    Letchworth Garden City

Beer =                           GROG, Amarillo Pale, 1903 IPA

Hares =                         Alfa Male

Runners =                    17

Virgins =                        0

Visitors =                       0

Newies =                       0

Après =                          5

Hounds =                      0

Total =                          22

Membership =            Not all looking blank!


What a contrast in weather conditions over night, from Saturday’s fresh snowy landscape, to one of clear bright morning with hardly any sign of the chaos causing snow!  For some of those gathered, this would be a much needed post ‘World’s End Trail’ trot to rid them of cobwebs, as in the original Hash House Harriers’ ethic of running off a hang-over, building up a thirst & proving that you’re never too old!

Action Man was waiting at the Brewery for Mr X, upon the Herts RA’s arrival he was presented with one of the Blue Aliens from Saturday, but he was missing his ‘Cocktail fire extinguisher’ that no one present had seen.  Action Man then departed to get his Train, or bus replacement service part way back to base.

With Mr X’s inflatable friend safely seated in the steering wheel of Paxo’s Car [Calm down Pebbledash! – Ed], all attention was turned toward Max Factor, who was waiting over by the Brewery, she explained that Alfa Male was out & about setting the Trail.  All of which was pretty impressive as these two had stayed overnight from the Pub Crawl, as had Mother & Lemming (notably the latter two did get make it to the last Pub – though they only started on the second leg of the Crawl) while Max & Alfa reached the penultimate one after starting from the Last Post (Pub No.1)

It was obvious that the GM was absent as the JM stepped in & seemed rather lax when it came around to ‘Sperm ‘ead o’ clock’ as he missed this, things didn’t get underway until nearly ten past the hour!  Finally Paxo got his finger out & called the Circle together, he stuttered through the welcoming speech & with a little help he reached the correct R*n number, after which the co-Hare of Max Factor was asked to step forward to explain what the Hash could expect out on the Trail?

Max Factor took her time before admitting that she wasn’t one hundred percent sure where the Trail would go, she just had a map & a few clues!  Directing the Hash away through the car park to the cut-through from the Wynd on to Leys Avenue, Mr X managed to get himself corralled-in to the fenced in corner of the car park while the Pack found an arrow pointing the way out southeastward down the gentle slope of the semi-pedestrianized route to Norton Way South.

A CHK was found on this main road through Letchworth, many crossed over the road to the small park-like area of Howard Park, dedicated to the founder of the Garden City idea – Ebenezer Howard, this is also home to the building that was used in the World’s End Film as the ‘Smoke House’. 

Anyhow, “On!” was called straight down the south bound route.  Surprisingly Mr X, My Lil’, Lemming & Mother were all running this section, four more survivors from the day before!  On the way over roundabout on to the next section of Norton Way South, Milf told Mr X that they had ‘lost her’ for the day before since the R*nning section of the World’s End was cancelled at the start, due to the overnight snow had settled on top of compacted snow & ice.

Sparky’s Horn could be heard as the Trail reached a CHK by the small pebble-dashed building of the St Alban’s Liberal Catholic Church, built in 1923 it is quite a unique building in this heritage town.  A few continued straight on but Mr X & Fliptop chose the left-hand turn on to Meadow Way.

The Trail was found up Meadow Way, where at the start it was plain to see for all to see that this Church doesn’t have a graveyard but instead it has an allotment with boxed in raised beds at the back.  The Trail briefly headed up toward the Broadway but would soon stop at a CHK on the crossroads with Lytton Avenue, there Lemming, Milf, Fliptop, My Lil’ & Tent Packer were soon over to the southern section of this early road in the First Garden City.

As No Eye Deer & Manjeeta followed on, while talking about the properties that were on the Market along there, Mr X stopped up in front of them to peer down the green grassy gap between two of the properties, it was pointed out to him that this was not a footpath but a way into the allotments that all of these homes had when they were first built, so the owners could live in that rural life in the fresh air of the Garden City, one of its original selling points.

Once around the tail of the residential road the Pack arrived on to South View, when the Trail was found on this it would lead the pack away to the southeast & not due south as the street name would imply!  The Trail arrived at a CHK on the small almost semi-circular green with Sollershot East, the normally on-form Keenies failed to find the Trail here, but for No Eye Deer there was a little inside knowledge she was holding on to as she, & Whatevershesays, previously spied the Hare busy about setting the Trail toward her home while Whatevershesays & No Eye Deer were were heading toward the Start of the Hash!

By the time the Keenies had rallied around from various False options, they were now behind Paxo, Kylie, Sludge & Max Factor, who had all taken the Short Cut by sticking with Max Factor along Norton Way South to cross straight over to Willian Way & get ahead of the rest. 

On the way Lemming said to Mr X that the previous night he was talking to Mother about women with bigger busts having a ‘bigger personalities’!  [A benefit of having read Desmond Morris’ ‘The Naked Ape’ many years ago!  It’s still a really interesting book into the human condition & how are bodies work, & the effect it has during sex]

Back on track & the Trail continued southward, along the tree-lined avenue of a somewhat longish trot to the next CHK beside the side road of Barrington Road.  Whatevershesays was keen to take to the boomerang shaped road that leads westward toward St Christopher’s School, Fliptop was amongst those who commented on the bizarrely shaped mock-castle building, with towers that wouldn’t look out of place in a Harry Potter Film.

Mr X explained a bit about the history of the place, as it has a unique way the Students are pretty well engaged with the way the place runs, though he didn’t know all the details of this boarding and day co-educational independent school in 1915 shortly after Ebenezer Howard founded Letchworth Garden City, the school is a long-time proponent of progressive education and was to be 'where members of different faiths shall be encouraged to mix together and in this way to learn a respect and tolerance for beliefs other than their own'.

The school is famous for establishing a system of self-governance with Major Officials (the St. Christopher term for a prefect) being nominated and elected by their student peers. School meetings allow students and staff alike to propose, vote and implement new and amended rules and policy - but with the headmaster reserving the right to veto any he deems unworkable or unacceptable.

Anyhow, the way out towner the mock gothic towers was proved to be a Falsie, so it was back to the junction then a short way south before taking the eastbound Whitethorn Lane as the Hare led the Pack along to where it joins Howard Drive at a point where the two roads arc at the end like the bow of a ship.

Mr X slowed up on the westward Howards Drive, My Lil’ was another who slowed up due to the effects of the previous day’s Pub Crawl, seems that the magic effervescence effects of Hare of the Dog they had in the Spoons was wearing thin?

By the time these two had made their way around by the Lordship Farm School to reach the southern end of the suburban Willian Lane, Paxo, Kylie, Sludge & Max Factor had got ahead again, this time after sticking with Willian Lane.  The Dust now took to a footpath to lead the Hash out by the woodland & the small park area to the west of the southernmost tip of Letchworth.

With almost everyone heading toward No Eye Deer’s Home, it was no wonder she had actually had an idea of where to run on this section, however this wouldn’t last long as the Trail came out on to the Willian Road to head westward before running back into the estate, this was No Eye Deer’s ‘manor’ but it came as no surprise that she & the rest lost the Trail somewhere along her own road.  Also she claimed didn’t have her keys on her so she could make us a quick cup of tea!

Sparky, Milf, Wanktlers, Fliptop & Tent Packer were at least called back by No Eye Deer from a footpath that Trail cuts through to the Willian Lane footpath that they were all on along the way down to the edge of Willian, however there was no Whatevershesays to lend his ‘local knowledge’. 

The Keenies wandered aimlessly around Aubreys where there was no sign of Dust, Tent Packer & Wanktlers weren’t keen on the fact that someone called No Eye Deer was leading them around the semi-circular estate to look for Dust on the tarmac footpaths that intersect the Aubreys.

On the other hand Mr X wasn’t too concerned as he thought that the Trail probably ran along Letchworth Lane & he knew that another of the cycleway/footpaths would lead out by the back of St Christopher’s School to arrive at the housed area of Muddy Lane, where he believed it would intercept the Trail.

Many enjoyed this section as it was rather nice as there was no sound of Sparky’s Horn!  Ironically the only time anyone wanted to hear it to indicate where the Trail was & it was not be heard.  [Be thankful for small mercies! – Ed]  It was along here that Mr X picked up a Golden 9cloured) Pirate Doubloon that Lemming poo-poohed!  [Perhaps it’s worth saving for International Pirate Day? – Ed]

The lost souls soon used the crossed near to the Junction by the ‘Letchworth Village Stores’ on the corner of Baldock Road & Spring Road.  Those without local knowledge followed Mr X & My Lil’ down Spring Road, as these two recounted other Trails that have had the Pack running through the remaining bits of woodland that surround this narrower older lane, all before approaching the UK’s first roundabout, which has sign informing those going around this gyratory system to that fact, with an added pun of ‘Circa 1904’!

The Trail was picked up again here as a Held CHK was found on the corner with the Sollershot East arm of the roads fanning out in all points of the compass, well not quite the cardinal ones as the Main Broadway runs Northestward.  Alfa Male came back to the Held CHK by way of walking up the Broadway from the town centre, he had with him several bags of sweets

Here No Eye Deer, Sparky, Sludge, Kylie & Paxo all caught up with Milf, Mr X, Tent Packer, Wanktlers, My Lil’.  Here the Hash enjoyed the flavourful American Hard Gums, some nice Jellies & a bag of scummy scrummy strawberry bon-bons.  The time was now Noon, so the Trail had felt a lot longer than it really was for those who were ‘World’s End Weary’ so the Hare allowed the Keenies & the now not so Keenies set off again.

Alfa Male was smart enough not to try & take the Pack off of the Broadway, the main & most direct route back, so off they went.  There was a bit of running along the tree-lined avenue as an attractive female jogger ran toward the Pack, but once past her this effort was soon curtailed as the Trail crossed over to run through the center green space of the John F Kennedy Memorial Garden.

Some stopped for a photo-shoot by the fountain, when Kylie was snapping the local tree-rats, the famous rodents in the guise of Black Squirrels up in the trees!  Mr X & My Lil’ broke off of running straight back, for Mr X was now on a mission as it was ‘five past opening time’ & these two popped in to the Arena tavern, the Kings Head in the film, where, with a nice pint of Bog Ale Stout, he was reunited with his Cocktail Fire-extinguisher.

Back at the Brewery & the rest of the Pack had settled in where some were already on the Beer, Cider, samosas or sausage rolls.  Some had taken time out to nip over to the local Chippy & gorge themselves on savaloys & chips [Not a practice for the sausage tossing then? -  Ed]  Back in the Brewery & tales of the previous night prevailed, as well as Sparky’s chilly experience at home after losing his gloves the weekend before!

The Pack were joined by Sis, then Custard & Spotted Dick, the Wanktlers’ wife & daughter before the Circle took place out amongst the straw bales.  The Hare was rewarded for a great Run of a few minutes over an hour, his co-Hare joined him.  My Lil’, the previous Day’s Hare received his Down-Down which he avoided at the ‘World’s End’!  Alfa Male’s Tallinn hat was returned as Lost Property - On the subject of Lost Property, the RA admitted after the previous day’s activities, that he had forgotten to bring the Hashit along, soon the Circle was baying for him to be punished & having to wear it for umpteen weeks, as is tradition!