Date = 25th March 2018
Run Number = 1788
Venue = The Robin Hood
Location = Tring
Beer = London Pride; Dirty Tackle; Seafarers
Hares = Lemming & Mother
Runners = 12
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Newies = 0
Après = 0
Hounds = 0
Total = 12
Membership = Up, up & away on this beautiful, slippery dog turd laden Hash!
There were all sorts of issues delaying the second leg of the two bus journeys over for the RA & Beer Master, Cyclists, Horse riders & a bloke who tried to use the wrong ticket a week earlier all added to the lost time, but before reaching Tring Mr X received a TXT message from Ewok, then a Phone call from Milf to let them know that they had all got caught up in the tail-back from an accident.
The Hare & his little Helper [Steady there scribe! – Ed] were found with Des-Res in the car park off of the High Street, Mr X told them that they rest would be late so the Trail was held up for a bi, strangely when they did pull in to the car park there was a rush to get out of TBT OBE’s car & those who abandoned the car first, like Milf, had scarves wrapped round their faces to make them look like some kind of foot-pad or other ne’er do-wells!
There was a further delay as some of the Pack had to use the local Public Toilets before the GM could finally call the Circle together, however this didn’t last long as Paxo let a loud trump go that not only scared the local populous, dogs, horses & other wildlife, it sounded like it had travelled down the inside of his trouser legs to fill his boots!
The disbanded Circle allowed the Air to clear, then everyone got
to hear about the pongy car journey over, seems the previous day out pub crawl,
rugby & curry had its effect on some of the crowd. Others of the Pack
looked slightly on the rough side, which couldn’t just be put down to losing an
beauty sleep. Finally it came around to introducing the Hares, as
Lemming took center stage.
Talk of it being a 4.2 Mile R*n wasn’t too bad as Short Cuts were also mentioned, then it was time to move on with Mr X & My Lil’ heading away down the High Street which belayed the fact they were knackered from the Saturday excursion. They were first to the CHK by the alleyway to the south but both ignored this to continue along the old thoroughfare through the centre of Tring [Is there a phone ringing? – Ed] to the southwest only to find a T!
The Hare had a big grin on his face, smug in the fact at catching these two out as they came back to pick up the Trail down the Alleyway, this led out to a CHK at the T junction where the footpath joins another path, Mr X went off to search the small side road but was stopped in his tracks as he heard My Lil’s calls of “On!” echoing back from the red-brick walled-in footpath he was on.
The rest of the Pack arrived as the Trail turned the corner to continue southward, the Hares’ earlier warnings of part of the Trail being ‘Slippery’ could have been taken to mean this stretch of footpaths that had a few dog’s eggs littering the way that any of the Pack could have slid upon, like some poor bugger had done judging by the elongated strip of dog turd before the Pack passed through.
Anyhow, the Trail turned the two short opposite 90° turns to continue southward before coming out to the dead-end Park Street where Milf & others were struck by the ornate building that is a part of the Tring Natural History Museum that they had come out beside
Lemming informed those gathered at the CHK, that a few years ago this museum was burgled & what for? Unbelievably it was to steal the feathers of rare birds for the making of all things fishing flies! [Is nothing sacred?- Ed] Back to the Hash & while Mr X search down toward the car park, others had taken to the next leg of the alleyway but they would be called back by Lemming. The Trail now came out into the car park, where some seemed confused at what the wooden coral like structures were, they were simply fancy wooden parking spaces, the penny eventually dropped.
The Pack wandered through the car park to come over to Hastoe Lane, there the Dust was picked up by Des Res, Mr X, My Lil’, Milf & Ewok as it continued due south to pass through the bridge carrying the A41 running from east to west above the Pack. Just on the southern side of the by-pass the next CHK was found, Des-Res continued southward up the lane, meanwhile My Lil’ took to the footpath that heads eastward in to the edge of Tring Park but neither would find the correct Trail.
It was down to Milf, then Mr X, to pick up the Trail as it started off to the west on a path above the A41 before reaching a CHK where the footpath split in two. Milf took to the daunting looking climb up the steep grassy hillside, while Mr X chose the wrong option descending down in toward the southern end of Stubbins wood near to the by-pass. The RA decided that he was too far from the CHK point to go all the way back & so he ‘Sludged it’ over the scrubby grassy area to catch up with those on the long steady climb to the southwest.
Having passed through the wide gap in the tree-line the Trail would move over toward Stubbs Wood, on the way My Lil’ & Mr X both quoted Junior with a “You know if you can’t see any further up then you’re at the top!” except that on that occasion they were in woodland & when Junior thought the party were at the top they came out of one area of trees to see yet another plantation up ahead of them.
The ground began to level out a bit & over by a bench by the wood’s edge a Held CHK was found. Here the Hares offered up Vodka Wine Gums & Jelly Babies in a Tupperware tub, this had the Pack taking a lucky dip in to the jelly slime to grab a semi-dissolved gum or body shaped sweet. Yes, they tasted as good as they sound, actually the strong vodka took the most of the flavours away, but having scaled 130 feet in a few hundred yards the Pack dipped in for seconds & some for third to numb the pain.
Looking back down the hill toward Tring……………………………………………………………………………….. [Sorry about the delay I thought I could hear a phone ringing? – Ed] anyhow, a couple of figures were seen making their way up, first there was Fliptop, then Sludge was followed up by Paxo & TBT OBE, all of whom had to undergo the vodka wine gum initiation!
Having got their breath back, it was time to move on & the Trail continued southward up the hill to a point where another CHK was found, now the Trail entered the woodland, making the Hash run along the Shiggy paths on this wooded hillside that drops away to the west.
Mother offered up a Short Cut straight on along the west edge of the Grove Wood section of the woodland, while Paxo & TBT OBE had a map which they were following with its marked out course, they were making their way along the edge of the field adjacent to the woodland.
The Keenies of Milf, Des Res, Fliptop, Des Res, My Lil’ & Ewok scuttled off down into the Deacon’s Hill part of the woodland, this would be a decent & climb back up through some really difficult slippery Shiggy paths that would slow up even the best of them.
Sludge, Mr X & Mother came out of the southern tip of Grove Wood to take to a track down beside Hastoe House, dodging the puddles on the way down the gentle slope these two took advantage of the first down-hill section of the Trail, even if it was only a couple of degrees off of the level to come out of the stone walled drive to arrive in Hastoe.
Turning eastward the Trail led along to the junction with Kiln Lane, Marlin Hill & the lane to the Wick, in this hamlet another Held CHK was found on the triangle of green separating the roads. Again there were Vodka gums on offer & these were accepted by Mr X, Sludge & Kylie. Over in the field to the north a noise could be heard on the other side of the hedgerow as those at the Held CHK pondered on where TBT OBE & Paxo were?
Suddenly Paxo & TBT OBE came in to view, Paxo with map in hand in a direction away from where the Trail would later be picked up, TBT OBE muttered “Well that wasn’t much of a short cut!” as they approached the Held CHK, at least he could have another Vodka Jelly to get over the fact!
Kylie pointed out that there were lumps of Pudding Stone along the side of the lane here, a rare geological feature that appears in Hertfordshire & Plumstead Common but few other places in the UK let alone the world.
Also of interest was the sign for the Ridgeway, Kylie wondered if this was the same one down Swindon way, it is the same Ridgeway, as this natural ancient route which is known as ‘The First Footpath’ runs from Ivinghoe Beacon not far from where the Pack were, to run some 87 miles, through the Goring Gap at the Thames & back up to come to an end at West Kennett in Wiltshire, not far from where Herts had Hashed on that end of the Ridgeway for a couple of Christmas Weekends a few years ago.
After about 10 minutes of waiting, Mother allowed the Mr X, Kylie, Sludge, Paxo & TBT OBE to move on & not seize up, well actually really only Mr X & Kylie from stiffening up! Mr X wandered off around the bend & then over to take to the narrower of the options, taking to the Wick, which was a lot different than the Wick they were at the day before. Wicks & wiches as in Hackney Wick, or Woolwich were old names for the area these farm supplied, usually cattle & dairy in wicks, or as in Woolwich the product supplied the town they near to & were named after or directly at the site’s market.
The RA would discover the Trail leading away down beyond the Wick farm would pass beyond the village Hall, with a wedding sign still outside to direct guests into the venue. Beyond this Mr X would find a CHK beside a footpath up through to the north in a cattle field of Marlin Hill Farm but there was no Dust beyond the kissing gate.
Mr X turned back to see Paxo & TBT OBE carry on along the lane, as Mr X returned he heard Kylie shout out to Paxo “You’re supposed to shout out ‘On! On! When you see Dust!” as he pointed to the blob of dust on the concrete blocks that resemble mini trig-points (Triangulation points were used by the Ordnance Survey to measure high points).
The Trail came out on to Hastoe Cross, here Mr X knew that there was a footpath just up on the wooded ridge to the left, where Marlin Hill road passes through Bishop’s Wood, that would be the way the Trail would take home as Paxo’s Map indicated. The Dust would now enter the wood, but for Paxo & TBT OBE it may have been a bit daunting, scary wood to follow the rest of the Trail into the woodland & they opted to walk down the lane instead of within the scenic woodland!
Mr X, Sludge & Kylie elected to stick with the Trail as it had a wide track running through the woodland, it followed this route as it turned from its northward start to head northeastward to become a wide avenue of ‘King Charles Ride’ stretching out through the plateau above Tring Park. On the way these three found the Trail as it led on to the wooden arch that was constructed like old Hazel hedgerows were made of a latticework of branches, with a few planks carved with sayings on to them about looking around at the wonder of the countryside.
Mr X & Sludge were happy to pose for a Photo as requested by Kylie, though Mr X drew the line at perching on the phallic looking mushroom. Sludge, who was now in charge of the map, moved back on along the avenue. While progressing along the avenue Sludge asked Mr X if he wanted to look at the map? Mr X was quick to reply “No! I don’t want to touch it, as I know if I am seen with it they’ll be after me in the Circle, & I couldn’t use it against anyone else!” Also Mr X didn’t really need it by now as he knew on a previous Trail the Hash came along this route from the opposite direction up from Tring Park below.
As the two at the front ambled along, they looked back to see if any Keenies were now in sight? There weren’t, even odder was the fact that it felt like being in an Agatha Christie story as Kylie had now vanished! Mr X reckoned that he was remaining at the ornate wooden arch to get a shot of Milf there, which is far more romantic that trumping in the car coming over to the Hash!
Sludge & Mr X were saved from having to make their way through the group of Duke of Edinburgh Awarders approaching from the northeast, as after the cleared area for a splendid view stop out over Tring Park…………………. [Sorry, I heard that bloody phone ring again, it’s probably only Paxo? – Ed] Sooo, the Trail began its descent through the wooded edge of the ridge. It was a long stretch by the fenced off drop, it was a fairly easy nice r*n all the way out on to Tring Park, there on the edge of the open green area some of which is of SSI* a CHK was found. *Special Scientific Interest, like the Chalk Escarpment with its rare flowers above the area that often has cattle to graze to allow the growth of other native wild flowers.
Again recalling a previous Hash in these parts, Mr X pointed out the footbridge back over in the opposite corner of the Park, it was toward the spiral stairs they headed, avoiding the loose dogs being walked as they came down the sharp drop in to a grassy gully then back up to cross over to the concrete footbridge. It was here that Mr X & Sludge got to the steps before Paxo & TBT OBE, so it didn’t seem like much of a short cut by the other two as they all approached the On Inn by the bridge.
Once over the A41, down the other set of muddy steps on opposite spiral staircase it was on to an almost direct footpath back in to Tring [There goes that phone again! – Ed] this straight as a die path came out on to dead end of Park Street, on the way there were a couple of T’s for the outbound Trail, once by these it was back on to the dog-turd path to come back to the High Street.
The early ones back went straight in to the Pub, as their kit was stowed in TBT OBE’s car. Though it wasn’t too long before Mr X was called by Paxo to find out if Ewok was with them, she wasn’t, but at least they knew Paxo & TBT OBE were back at the car!
The rest of the Hash came around to join the others in one section of the Pub, were talk of it being a good r*n, which was needed to clear out the cobwebs of the excellent day out at the Rugby – it must have been a good day as some struggled to remember what the final score was, Mr X did get that Saracens scored 24 points but could quite recall the Quins total correctly.
When it came to the Circle the Pack made their way around to the courtyard patio garden; The Hare & his Little Helper [Careful there Scribe! – Ed] were rewarded for the Trail, though Mother gave one of those stares at the RA, you know the type that women do, as she objected to being called Lemming’s ‘Little Helper’ it was a medusa like gaze that could have killed the fish in the nearby ornamental pond. She would have that look again a little later on as Lemming almost managed to dodge the bit of dog turd squashed over the patio by where the circle was.
Kylie was out for his staying back to get a romantic picture, while in contrast Paxo was out for the Hashit trumping all the way over in the car, Mr X said by wearing the Hashit, & demonstrating by with actions on the toy sewn to the back that if Paxo trumped while wearing this then there would be a definite elevation of the stoat at the back to indicate the sudden gust of wind!