Date =                            19th August 2018

Run Number =             1810    

Venue =                         Chez Carol

Location =                    Sheering

Hare/s =                        TBT OBE & Paxo

Beer =                            BYO

Runners =                    16

Virgins =                        0

Visitors =                       0

Newies =                       0

Aprčs =                          2

Hounds =                      0

Total =                          18

Membership =             Remembering Sloppy!


            On this overcast morning the Pack gathered in the public car park by the village hall, by the time Tent Packer had moored up his boat, then Mrs Mallet, Mr X & My Lil’ had all come ashore, they found Manu was patiently waiting there with the two Hares.  The Circle took some time to call to order, as others made their way to the starting point.  When TBT OBE did get around to sorting things out there were a few dumbfounded faces as he announced that it was a special R*n today, with the number reaching the same as the 1810 overture!

            After an exaggerated pregnant pause, accompanied by a lot of scratching of heads, many of the Pack questioned the number, none of whom have ever heard of Tchaikovsky’s 1810?  Mr X said that he had heard of the 1812, which was written to celebrate Napoleon’s retreat from Moscow in 1812.  TBT OBE realised his mistake, then after the laughter had subsided, he continued with the ‘Chalk-talk’ of what the pack could expect out there On Trail.  The noticeable thing was that his co-Hare, of Paxo, was going to explain a Blue Held CHK when the Pack reached this.

            The Keenies started off by checking it out from the CHK in the Car Park, the RA noticed that My Lil’ didn’t protest much about this.  They all chose to search northward through the play area & green space at the end of the car park, but No Eye Deer & Milf were to discover the Bar CHK on the alleyway out in to the small housing estate behind the fencing to the west.  Looking back the FRBs could see that Paxo & TBT OBE were heading out of the drive, with Mrs Mallet, Flanders, Psycho & Skip with his stick in tow.  Along the way the Pack all got to hear about Skip’s latest ailment, of now having gout – which after Henry VIII suffered from this ailment it became known as the ‘Kings Disease’!

            The Trail was found heading westward on the High Street, the start of the Trail ran along the pavement & along the way it passed by a fairly newly planted tree that was to replace the original removed one, which was planted for the  Coronation of George V.  Then a bit further down the Hash ran on by a large tree in a front garden, this old tree had various toy monkeys climbing up through its trunk & on the limbs.  Mr X wondered if the owner originated from Hartlepool?  [Hartlepudlian’s allegedly ‘Hung the Monkey’ mascot & only survivor from the wrecked French ship the Chasse Mariée during the Napoleonic Wars, since it was wearing a uniform & the residents had neither seen a monkey or a Frenchman, the poor creature was put on Trial a ‘Kangaroo Court’ as a Spy, could not defend itself & was hung on the beach! – Ed]

            The Trail turned northward when it reached the Junction the Crown Pub sits on, here the Pack started heading northward on Crown Close only to be temporarily stopped at the ‘Blue Chalk CHK’ that had Paxo explaining that the road to the east would lead to the On Inn at Carol’s.

            Things resumed with the Hash being ushered away to the north to come out at the dead-end of Primley Lane, there the Trail would take to the farm land above Sheering.  The fresh breeze was now felt on the slight downhill trot into the first crop field, then having crossed the wooden footbridge over a ditch the FRBs found the next CHK.  The likes of My Lil, Tent Packer, Milf & Sludge ended up searching the eastbound path only to find a T.  Meanwhile Mr X & No Eye Deer had better luck on the west-bound footpath over toward the elevated A10.

The going wasn’t the easiest on the edge of the field on the way up to the next CHK near to an underpass in the M11 embankment, here Mr X recalled one of Sloppy’s Trail that went this way & turned northward, so he successfully searched up beside the M11, while No Eye Deer tentatively looked underneath the motorway.  The north bound footpath had a slight kink in its route to the west before resuming its northerly route to a CHK by a farm bridge over the motorway, with the noise of the busy road drowning out any calls from Mr X were drowned out, so he raised his arm to indicate that he was On Trail.

Mr X was straight over the mud splattered bridge high over lanes of traffic, on his way to the farm land to the west of the M11 he noticed the motorway sign to the north was stating that the speed limit was 50 MPH due to “An Obstruction in Lane” which led Mr X to wonder where Sparky was this morning?  Anyhow, Mr X spotted Dust on one of the telegraph poles & even though he knew there was a diagonal path off over the northern field, he continued westward on a part of the Stort Valley Way to Quickbury Farm.

Running out of Dust Mr X turned around to indicate to Tent packer, My Lil’, Milf, Sludge, No Eye Deer & Manu to look back up off of the wide farm track, sure enough the orange shirted Hare of TBT OBE was seen bending over & marking the route the Trail would take on a nor-nor-westerly trot over the harvested wheat stalks, these were now lined up in rows running from east to west ready to be collected. 

Mr X caught up with No Eye Deer & Whatever She Says as the Dust disappeared through the tree-line to lead out through the grounds of the large house at Cowick.  The notable thing to see here, which no doubt excited Kylie, was the large oval of the raised very narrow gauge train tracks in the green space to the west of the house, a large house which has a moat on it eastern side. 

Once out through the short gravel drive the pack found themselves on the tarmac edge of the Sawbridgeworth Road, heading away to the west for a short way before starting on to the southbound concrete driveway up to Quickbury Farm.  Mr X lamented to Manu that he was almost up to this point before he ran out of Dust!

The Keenies took to the wide drive up toward the farm buildings, with My Lil’ leading Tent Packer, Milf, Sludge & Manu away on the footpath to the south of the farm buildings, meanwhile Paxo brought Skip, Psycho, Mrs Mallet & Flanders through the track that Mr X had been on earlier from the M11!  At least this time Mr X would have some luck as TBT OBE headed off westward through the farm, this was where the Trail went & Paxo confirmed that there was no Dust away to the south of the Farm where the FRBs had all been led!

Mr X now led the SCBs on down out of the farm, after this there was a gentle decent on the long 60 foot drop in height from the top of the ridge overlooking the now slightly more greener fields above Sawbridgeworth nestling in the Stort Valley.  This long straight stretch to come out between the homes on the Lower Sheering Road, this last part of the footpath was slightly odd in having sections of carpet covering the footpath before coming out on the CHK on the road, no doubt Skip would have appreciated the carpet on his knee & his toes?

The RA was soon on to the Trail as it headed southward, but he would soon go wrong when he reached the next CHK a little further along the road, there he searched off on the footpath back out eastward over the crop fields parallel to the one the Trail came down on, in the distance he could see the SCBs on their way down, but as for Dust - there was none.  A call of “On!” from back on the Lower Sheering Road brought Mr X back to follow on behind the other FRBs to make his way up behind them to Back Lane.

Dust took the Hash up narrow curving hedged-in Back Lane to the east, then at the top of the climb back up most of the previously lost height, the Dust led on through a gap in the hedgerow that was littered with fly-tipped rubbish.  There an evil Hare TBT OBE had marked the Trail away to the west, on what is a permissive dog walking path for the locals, then while the FRBs were making their way down this he changed the markings to point the Trail in the opposite direction to the west, where the official footpath runs to the corner of the field of corn stalks.

The miffed FRBs found the Bar CHK & turned back to see the Hare cutting through the field of scratchy golden stalks, so Sludge, My Lil’, & Mr X followed on behind TBT OBE, which they would regret, unlike Milf & Tent Packer who had more sense in following the proper route around the perimeter to take the easier route out to the Harlow Road. 

Emerging out onto the cut off section of the old Harlow Road, the Pack would pass by the line of fairly new homes like that of ‘Shamrock’ which are semi-sheltered behind the tree line from the noise of the traffic on the modern Harlow Road, the Trail was now heading back into Sheering.

Having crossed over the junction where Back Lane joins the Harlow Road from the north, the Trail was marked over to the south bound footpath along the western side of the M11, TBT OBE convincingly talked Tent Packer & My Lil’ down there, following on after Sludge & Milf who had already taken this route.  This section was used by Sloppy on one of his previous Trails, but when the Hare had set the Trail & arrived at the overhanging brambles he decided to put a Bar CHK there as he wasn’t going to go any further!

Mr X arrived in time to see TBT OBE mark the Trail over the bridge into Sheering, on the way over the M11 he stopped to peer southward over the M11 to see if the others were on the footbridge further down the Motorway, but he couldn’t.  So, after Mr X had found the On Inn just over the bridge into Sheering, he thought he could go for a Pint in the Crown & wait outside for the others to come back from the Bar CHK where he would raise a glass to them. 

Well, there were two issue with this plan, A) the other four had continued on without seeing the Bar CHK, Commando crawled under the brambles to make their way around via the footbridge over the motorway, then on by Glyn’s Wood to come out on to Church Lane. B) Due to the hot weather the Crown had no real ales on sale for the time being.  So, the RA made his excuses & left to wait back in the car park, passing the Monkey Hangers House again.

After a lengthy wait at the car park, Mr X found that when they arrived, both Sludge & Tent Packer had left their respective car keys safely with their spouses who weren’t three!  Which meant a wait for Sludge, My Lil’, Mr X & Tent Packer as well before Mr Mallet & Flanders arrived back at the car park & be able to get changed.  At least Milf has the sense in carrying the spare key to Kylie’s Car in order not to have to wait for him.

The Pack made their way around to Carol’s, by way of the back alleyway off of the park as Manu showed TBT OBE this quickest option that TBT OBE had marked with ‘Carol’s’for the Pack to follow [It would have bene better just to have Put On Inn down instead of Carol’s name! – Ed], all of this meant that Paxo’s Blue Held CHK was no longer of any use, unless you wanted to swear at it!

            Once settled in at Carol’s, some couldn’t wait to eat & Whatever She Says was soon taking a pole to the overhanging plums [Carful Pebbledash! – Ed] as he knocked large, ripe plums out of the tree, No Eye Deer was on hand to make sure that the children everyone washed their plums [Whoa there pebbledash! – Ed] as Mr X explained that birds can carry salmonella & other bugs nasty bugs that can give you food poising - so you should always wash your plums & other fruit, also you shouldn’t buy fast food outside in cities if the vendor doesn’t have a cover over the products.

            Milf then went on to fill a wheelbarrow with cut-up railway sleepers, these she had helped Carol clear from the end of the garden earlier in the week, from where Carol plans to have a summer house put in.  Milf wheeled the Sleepers around to fill Kylie’s car up, for she is going to place these in her garden - should be interesting to see what she’s going to do with them since she’s already lured in one Train enthusiast?

While Manu disappeared to get on-line, the Pack met Marie-Louise again, tough properly to talk to this time, as she brought around the home-made doughnut balls & the delicious samosas, which Mr X pointed out to our resident fakeaterian who was woofing them down that they contained meat, but TBT OBE still ate them.  Our hostesses’ food was once again of a superb quality you’d be glad to pay for it in a restaurant, Psycho commented on the Pack should not have such high expectations the following week at hers! [Psycho you do make fantastic cakes! – Ed]

            After gorging of several helpings of manna from heaven, as well as swatting away the pesky wasps, the Circle was called: The Hares were rewarded for a great Trail; My Lil’ received his for leading the Keenies a long way astray by the farm; TBT OBE received another Down-Down for Tchaikovsky’s lost work of 1810!  After a toast to Sloppy’s memory, Marie-Louise, Carol & Manu received their Hits for being such good hosts.  As the afternoon moved on the grey clouds disappeared to reveal a sunny blue sky, at least the threat of any rain had now passed.

During the meal, Milf mentioned that to advertise the Hash it may be worth partaking in a Park R*n, even though there is no Alcohol involved, but it may attract some new members?  Mr X said that Bicester Hash had done the very same this very week, he knew as they had posted it on their Farcebook Page. 

It was decided at the meal that we should register to get a Park Run Bar Code [I am not a number I am a free Man! – Ed] then turn out on a Saturday in September in matching Hash T-Shirts to take part in the Panshanger Park, Park Run, for this is central to everyone though parking is a it tight – Park Runs are open to all abilities like the Hash but always run the same course, normally they end with Tea & Coffee, but we can go to the local (Six Templars) Pub afterwards!  All we need to do is select the best Saturday for us to get too for a 09:00hrs Start.