Date = 3rd Sept 2018
Run Number = 1812
Venue = The Nag’s Head
Location = Little Hadham
Hare/s = Paxo
Beer = Greede King IPA, Golden Hen
Runners = 14
Virgins = 0
Visitors = 0
Newies = 0
Après = 0
Hounds = 3
Total = 17
Membership = No retreating on this 1812!
Those arriving at the venue for the first time were soon to discover
that the Nags Head doesn’t have a car park, thankfully
L/Cpl Jones Paxo
was on hand to sort things out in his inimitable style. TBT OBE was already
parked up on the bus stop outside of the Pub, then Paxo guided Tent Packers
Yacht in to its berth also on the Orange box of the Bus Stop. When questioned
about if this was the right thing to do? Paxo replied that the last Bus had
gone, though Kylie’s interpretation of the Time-Table differed greatly from
TBT OBE fumbled about with some modern tech as he attempted to play a snippet of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, but the volume meant that no one got to hear any of it, which was bad as he claimed that it was the section where the cannons are fired to celebrate Napoleon’s Retreat from Moscow in 1812.
As TBT OBE tried to get some kind of resemblance to a circle going, a large orange & blue Omnibus pulled up near the Bus Stop, but Paxo was inside the pub & missed seeing this, but he soon heard about it!
The Pack were now ordered over the road to Circle up in the Farm entrance over the dip that is the Hadham Ford in the stream of the River Ash, but like some kind of Whitehall Farce everyone was requested back over the road by Hashflash for a Photo of the Pack outside of the Nag’s Head!
With Kylie’s Photos taken, the Pack nipped back over to the Ash in front of the entrance to the cattle field, the cattle field that now had a dozen bullocks milling around by the gate & the footpath gate allowing access to the two footpaths in the cattles’ home pastures.
Even though the sight of the bovines was obvious, the Hare still warned everyone about walking though the filed as the Trail started off heading away to the northeast & the edge of a strip of woodland at the bottom of the ridge. Someone asked if they were bullocks? Mr X said that he wouldn’t want to try & milk one!
Most of the bullocks had moved down to the hedge by the Ash, but there was one errant one who had to have an eye kept on him. Prince Garmin was told not to run, while Paxo walked along with his arms outstretched, Christ what away to annoy the bovines? But worse still was the Hash’s very own Dr Doolittle of TBT OBE who began loudly ‘Mooing’ at the cattle, which didn’t get rid of the errant bovine.
Once over the lush green grass the trail led out of the meadow, through a wooden gate in the corner to emerge out on to the farm land to the north. After a short sharp climb up the ridge between the two levels with different crops, the Trail turned rapidly through two opposing 90° turns to continue along the long strip on the edge of the drop between the two fields of stubble. The top one field being 60 feet above the level from the start of the Trail.
The First CHK was found a long way out, up by the elbow in the path’s course. Here the options were to continue straight on toward the A120, or take the nice green strip of a path to the southeast. While Milf, Tent Packer, My Lil’, Where’s Wally? & Prince Garmin [After a bit of cropping over the stubble! – Ed] all headed to the Stortford Road, Ewok chose to search on the green, softer grassy path over toward Fiddler’s Croft [Oh! Err! Pebbledash! – Ed] Mr X was surprised that she went that way as she had been told a few clues by Backpack to some of the sights on the Trail, including some interesting old buildings, he & Paxo had passed while setting the Trail.
Ewok was soon coming back as “On!” was called out to the north, on the shorter footpath running by the side of the local Primary School & out by the safety barrier to the Stortford Road. There a CHK was found. My Lil’ checked it out toward the centre of Little Hadham to the northwest, while Where’s Wally? & Milf searched in the opposite direction, it was this route that proved to be correct as it led up the busy road to the next CHK at the entrance to Stone House Farm that has an official Caravan & Camping site behind it.
While Mr X chose to cross over to search toward Church End, but he should have known better as he had heard that Backpack had told his mum that the Trail didn’t cross any main roads, Paxo & TBT OBE were soon calling Mr X back, keeping the Pack well away from the Hadham Brewery. Mr X dodged the traffic again & joined the others on the drive by Stone House Farm, the entrance to which had many signs to do with either camping & CCTV.
As the Trail made its way southward through to the fields behind the farm, the SCBs of Mumblehead, Paul & Lobby Lobster were making their way up the path Ewok was called back from earlier, this official short-cut would keep the pooches away from the main road, meeting up with the rest at the T junction with the track the FRBs were on running through Fiddler’s Croft.
Kylie was waiting to take photos at this junction, as was a Boarder Terrier waiting as if on guard duty, there to see who was passing through his patch. The Trail ran followed the hedgerow to move further south, with the turn in the corner of the field to change direction to the east for a short while before resuming the southbound direction along by a section of the delightfully named Muggin’s wood.
The edge of the crop fields had wispy tall grassy along the footpath, this disappeared once through a wide gap in the hedgerow. The level of the land now rose slowly up as it moved on to the wide green space of one of the Silver Leys Polo Club’s practise pitches. Ketchup & Ewok slowed up here discussing educational matters!
A CHK was found almost as soon as the Hash entered this equine sports ground, but the FRBs of Where’s Wally, My Lil’, Milf & Tent Packer were soon On Trail as they continued further southward toward the opposite corner of the Polo Field. Milf was amused by finding a couple of large white balls she spotted on the way up to the corner where the Polo Ponies are tethered up between Chukkas. [Thankfully Pebbledash wasn’t there! – Ed]
Out through the verdant tree-line with by-way of Hoecroft Lane behind it, the Keenies were on to a shady old lane where a CHK was found. Where’s Wally?, Tent Packer & Milf all fell for the Falsie toward the Polo Club in the southeast. My Lil’ was just about to pick up the correct Trail, but was brought back a short way after the others had called “On!” on the Falsie, Mr X put him right & My Lil’ returned to the southwestern route of the wide Tree-lined by-way.
It was a fairly long stretch as the way began to gently drop in height, just enough to encourage even the likes of Kylie to jog along, with gravity doing its work & making things feel a bit easier. Eventually, as the Trail began turning southward on a large arc, a Held CHK was found by the solitary bench in the tree-line, this was the sweet-stop.
TBT OBE was also doing fairly well & arrived here not far behind the Keenies, again Gravity was taking effect on the speed of the Pack! Paxo arrived behind TBT OBE, after pulling out one bag of flour, then another bag of flour, some began to think that he wasn’t going to produce any sweets & it was all a hoax! There was no need to panic as Paxo was soon handing out small bags of sweets, which included toothbrushes, mushrooms [Which were soon renamed as Nipples! – Ed] as well as coiled & straight liquorices.
While seated on the bench, Ewok bemoaned the state of her footwear, as she pulled down the loose sole on none of her Hash Boots. Turning her attention to Prince Garmin’s trainers, Ewok was soon asking him what size his shoes were? It seems size 4 was slightly larger than Ewok can wear, Prince Garmin got away with that one – for the time being!
Paxo explained that Mark E Mark, Paul, Lobby Lobster & Mumblehead had gone wrong back at the Polo Field heading over to the suitably named Muggins Wood! The two Girls arrived by retracing their steps & following the correct route in, while Mark E Mark & Paul came in via the fallow field on the other side of the hedgerow & below the Held CHK.
Eventually the lost sheep all arrived at the Held CHK & were amazed to find that there were still sweets left, unlike Where’s Wally? who had already gone off further along to the southeast as the track continued turning that way. When asked where Where’s Wally? was, Mr X said “Perhaps Where’s Wally? has gone to find (Non-present) Sparky?”
In Where’s Wally?’s absence the Hare indicated that the missing Hasher was on a Falsie, which led to others wondering if he would find the T down toward Acremore Street?? Anyhow, the rest went through the gap in the tree-line to search the fallow hillside. Mr X chose the diagonal footpath through the long grass but was quickly stopped in his tracks when he found a T!
Next up it was Milf’s turn to find a T, as she led Tent Packer, TBT OBE & Kylie along the top of the hillside in a southwestwardly direction on a set of farm vehicle tracks, all of them ran on by the T there until the RA spotted this & called them back. No doubt the practise Mr X had of spotting the earlier T down the hillside was good practise for him? The next option was to search the path that Mark E Mark & Paul had come up, & guess what? Yep, Dust was found that way!
There was plenty of questioning, as well as ribbing as to how those two had missed seeing the flour on the way up to the Held CHK, but as most of the Pack knew the Pub was directly down the hillside to the west, the option down by the hedgerow proved correct as it had to head that way on one long final trot descending in to the vale. Now there was a glorious sun set occurring on the warm evening & there were no complaints in the Pack getting around in less than 50 minutes.
The Keenies found the On Inn by at gate out in to the Cattle field once more, but they had plenty of speed now on the sharp drop to get by the inquisitive bovines & out through the gate & over the Ash, right by the white old cast iron village pump, erected in 1880 by subscription [Careful Pebbledash! – Ed], to cross over & arrive at the village pub.
After a brief chat with a couple with a different Boarder Terrier than the first one encountered on the Trail, the Pack moved inside, but not for long as Milf spotted the sign for the Pub’s ‘Secret Garden’ which was no longer that secret! So, once served by Barmaid, who did a sterling job considering she was on her own on her first night working behind the Bar, the Pack had to move out to the very end of the long garden to sit up in the raised section backing on to a very old wall with ivy hanging from the top.
My Lil’ then realised that he had left his cap in the Bar, but on his first attempt to go back to the bar, he stopped as Ewok said that she would sit on his head if it was cold! There are photos on the Herts Farcebook page! Anyhow, when he did go back to the Bar after Ewok got off of his head, only he found that the cap was gone! He returned to find that his cap had reappeared & was now on Ewok’s head, as the Curate tried to dob in Mr X who had picked it up.
Meanwhile Where’s Wally? asked whether it would be best him to pay TBT OBE for his Christmas Weekend or wait until he sees No Eye Deer, Mr X said he could do it electronically – which has even been emailed out. [Sometimes I wonder if anyone reads these? – Ed]
The Pack settled down before finally getting around to the Circle, which TBT OBE still hasn’t seemed to have mastered Toasting the Hash! With lots of prompting from Mr X & Paxo, a ram-shackled Welcoming speech came from TBT OBE. Then Mr X took over, as TBT OBE asked the Pack what they thought of the Trail? Anyhow, everyone liked the nice short Trail & so Paxo was awarded for setting this.
Next on the RA’s list was Ewok for trying to pinch Prince Garmin’s shoes, she did manage to get a pair of his shoes on when he took them off & left them to one side, but again these were too big – though My Lil’ added some friendly advice for her to grow her toe-nails so the shoes would fit.
The RA then went on to tell of those who said about the number of red shirts that would attract the bullocks, which is nonsense, it’s the movement that attracts them! Anyway, he produced what he said was the New Hashit, for it had TBT OBE embroidered on it, but it turned out to be a Red Hash Hackers top – so TBT stepped forward to accept his Down-Down. He was joined by My Lil’ for losing his cap!