Date 15th Sept 2019
Run Number 1872
Venue The Boot
Location Dane End
Hare/s Sludge & FWB
Beer Black Sheep; Trelawney & Doombar
Membership All old Boots!
It couldn’t have been a better day for a Hash, the sun was out & the
temperature was far kinder than it had been earlier in the week. The early
arrivals found the Sludge Mobile parked up around behind the Pub in the small
car park. Then as the time edged toward 11:00Hrs the peace & tranquillity of
this rural idyll was abruptly broken by the noise being emitted from the 5Litre
engine of an orange
penis extension Ford Mustang, which just about
squeezed in after tent Pack had moored up his white narrow boat of a Mercedes
estate! No one accepted Porky pie’s offer for a whip round to help him pay from
A senior local came out after hearing the Hash in the car park, he requested that the wide green strip of a former farm track was not blocked in, as it would impede him getting his car out, even though there was no car there, nor where the gates or a garage to where a car could be, & it was blocked by bollards at the other end. Anyhow, the nice old local was wearing what could best be described as a hand-me-down from Sparky, & his sweater had more holes in it than a Swiss cheese.
On the subject of clothing, pebbledash was asked why she was wearing jeans? Seems that her washing machine is buggered & these were all she had to wear & that wasn’t ‘minging’ [Can’t she do a Sparky & take her clothes down to the river & wash them on the rocks?
There were quite a few regulars missing this week, with Horses, Cubs, capsizing & of course preparing for the Fire-Walk later that Day at 16:00Hrs at the nearby Golf Club. So, we were missing the Hon GM, the GM & the JM this week, leaving Mr X as the RA to welcome the Hash to the correct Run Number, then it was over to Sludge as the Senior Hare.
Sludge began by explaining that there had been no Hare for this Trail until he step in, as the Hare-Raiser couldn’t get a replacement! Mr X considered at one point to set the Trail, but due to a bad chest he had to call it off. So, Sludge said that the Pack should expect a longish Trail, but there were Short Cuts, though he recommended completing the Full Trail to appreciate the stunning views.
The Pack set off up the short way up the bollarded end of the green strip of land, passing no cars to emerge out on to Kennedy Road, the Trail led straight over this Dead-End side road to run through a short alleyway out on to Kingfield Road. The First CHK was found by a kissing-gate into ‘Kings Field’ which sits behind the rows of terraced homes, some were already aware of its presence as What Ever She Says had already been up there to ‘Scare off the Squirrels’ before the Trail began.
Porky Pie was away on the northbound footpath to the west of Kings Field, while My Lil’ chose the north-eastern option & the latter called “On!” so, Sludge called Porkie Pie back from his line of running. Porky Pie was then surprised to see My Lil’, Hash Test Dummy, Jamie & Mr X, all turn around on the path of wispy grass & indicate that it was Falsie. Those turning back now saw No Eye Deer take to the nor-nor-east footpath up through the crop field to All Saints Church perched up on the hill at Little Munden, but then No Eye Deer was called back as “On!” was called from where Porky Pie had first checked out, after Sludge marked the CHK that way!
The Pack now made their way along the northbound path through the crop field, it was familiar ground for Porky Pie on the way up to the next CHK which sat on a corner of section of a Triangular shaped hedged-in field that fits in like a jig-saw piece in the mosaic of farm fields. Milf, My Lil’, Tent Packer & Porky Pie all headed away to the southwest, while Hash Test Dummy & Jamie chose the north-western option on the opposite, northern, side of the hedgerow.
Hash Test Dummy & Jamie both called “On!”, then disappeared out of sight when they turned the corner to head northward up to the tip of a small wood. Now, they say that My Lil’ doesn’t say much, but when he says something it’s always funny, & Mr X remember this as he heard a frustrated “F*ck!” come from way up behind the hedgerow after My Lil’ heard Sludge’s calling of “On back!” to My Lil’ & those with him, it certainly made Mr X laugh.
The Pack made their way around through the wooded strip, Hash Test Dummy found the Falsie off away out of the wood to the west, whereas Jamie took the other option to find the Trail running out on to the narrow tarmac lane to the next CHK on the elbow of the lane as it turns to head eastward to Green End. Here Jamie chose the wrong option & by the time he came back, Milf, Mr X, My Lil’, Tent Packer & Porky Pie had all got ahead of him, No Eye Deer, Waragi & Rose weren’t too far behind as FWB & Sludge swept up Sparky, Whatever She Says & Mrs Mallet.
A bit more road running was needed until almost the corresponding elbow in the road at Green End, the Trail broke away from the tarmac & on to a farm track to the north in the direction of Green End Farm, here there seemed to be a little confusion & FWB couldn’t recall which way the Trail went, No Eye Der said that she could relate to getting lost on your own Trail! Tent Packer searched on the track down to the Farm, while Porky Pie led the others off to the northeast on the Chain Walk.
While Porky Pie, Jamie & Milf successfully searched the footpath through the nearby Cricket Pitch, then away from the pavilion & the wicket to head through another Kissing gate & out over a fallow field. Through the wild grasses as the Trail came out to an area of crop fields & what appeared to be choice of paths, two of which were either side of a windbreak of a high & wide hedgerow, the Dust was to be found only on one side of this, but both sides were run by different Hashers.
When Whatever She Says arrived here, he spotted some had gone wrong & were ‘Off Trail’ on the northern side, the same side the RA had mistakenly taken, but with no Bar CHK or a T stop any further progress of those who were six foot parallel to the real path, they carried on regardless.
The Chain Walk came out to a on to a long stretch leading up to a CHK just outside of Haultwick (Pronounced as Artic) the Trail was picked up through a paddock below Woolston Farm & out through on to the ‘Street’ of Haultwick, Mr X got a thumbs up from a local Lady as he placed the restraining rope around the gate he had just closed, as he too joined the way down the Street to the southeast for a few yards, then to cross over & take to the north-eastern footpath up over the fields toward Great Munden Farm.
The freshly harrowed farm field wasn’t that easy to run on as the Keenies headed out toward the drive to Great Munden Farm & Libury Hall, then once on to the hard-capped drive, the Trail turned to take the Keenies southward to the end of the drive & out on to Gifford’s Lane, the Hares were seen walking down out of the village of Haultwick.
Tent Packer & Jamie went wrong as they searched a farm track that was not a right of way, the rest headed down the hill as Gifford’s Lane rapidly descended some 120 feet in altitude down to the Munden Road. Now the Pack were going to be stretched out a bit, with the FRBs breaking away after the downhill trot. The Trail turned from southeast to southwest at the bottom of the hill, it was marked along the edge of the lane back toward Dane End, & some thought that the end was near as the route of Dust ignored the Footpath rising up the steep slope up Kings Hill!
As tent Packer & Mr X trotted along this section of Trail, a long line of Bikers passed by on various large bikes, including Harleys & Gold Wings, they returned the saluted they received from Mr X, worthy of it as one or two had the RBL badge sown on their jackets.
Just as it seemed to be quite a long stretch on tarmac, the Trail was marked with a CHK that had Long Trail marked across the lane to enter a field, there the FRBs crossed the Dane End Tributary & then headed away to the southeast on a long steady climb up the ridge of Fellows Field Common, while the SCBs could take the option of following the Munden lane back into Dane End.
Having reached the 85 metre height mark, there was a short trot on the lane down from Kings Hill, however the scaling of the heights wasn’t going to stop as yet, for the next footpath away to the southeast rose up over Moorfield Common, taking the FRBs by the home to a few rather large Hereford Bulls!
Mr X looked back from a commanding view over the verdant vista of Herts countryside at its best, there in the bottom of the valley he could see Hash Text Dummy who was now on his own between the two groups of the Pack, then as he was out of sight as Langton’s Track would eventually come up to the level & then turn sou-sou-west at the wooded top of the Trenchen Hills.
The smell of burning & a large flaming fire could be seen on the way out toward Whitehill Road, this was nothing to do with the Fire-walk that was taking part later that day. At least the local home owner seemed to have this under control as the FRBs trotted by to come out to a strange looking CHK out on the Whitehill Road, this had a crossed out Long Trail marked away to the southeast, then a Long Cut & a Short Cut both marked down the lane to the nor-nor-west.
Hash Test Dummy tried to run up the hillside, but failed around half way, however this didn’t stop him from catching up with Mr X, who by now was walking, apparently Hash Test Dummy had a bit of a mishap with his bike & bashed himself with it in the ribs. Soon they were passing by an entrance to the Whitehill Golf Club, where Mr X & My Lil’ expected the Trail to go through on a footpath over the fairways, but it didn’t.
Beyond the entrance to the Club the Trail ran, Hash Test Dummy & the RA were soon being diverted off onto the footpath at the top White Hill, then it was a long straight descent on a footpath down the chalky hillside. Having reached the level the Trail crossed a series of wooden sleepers forming a bridge over the Dane End Tributary, then just beyond this the On Inn was found, after which it was a simple case of following the Road back in to Dane End, where some of the SCBs, like Pebbledash, Waragi with Rose were already back with My Lil’, Jamie, Tent Packer, Hash Test Dummy. Sludge came back, while FWB remained out there sweeping up the lost sheep.
No Eye Deer & Whatever She Says were out for a lot longer, as they did the whole route, finally FWB came back Inn, & was surprised to see Sludge was already back, as Kylie pointed out to her that Sludge will always find his way back via the shortest route possible.
The Pack enjoyed the day sitting in the rear garden, Porky Pie couldn’t stay & he was of early, while the rest basked in the sun, or sheltered under the large umbrellas. Hash Test Dummy, Jamie, Waragi & Rose had to move on as well, for Rose was going to see her Nan, no doubt to tell her Nan that her Birthday was fast approaching?
As food was ordered, the Circle was rapidly brought forward, the Hares were rewarded for a great & splendidly scenic Trail, Whatever She Says was out for trying to grass up those who took the same route as the RA! Then My Lil’ was out for his ‘amusing comment’ from going wrong at the second CHK!
Only a handful managed to get along to watch Mark E Mark, Ewok & FWB complete the Fire-walk, most had to set off before the 16:00Hrs start of that event, but you’ll be pleased to know that they all succeeded, you can still smell the burnt cheese now!