Date =                           16th Feb 2020

Run Number =           1899    

Venue =                       The Little Green Dragon

Location =                   Winchmore Hill

Hare/s =                       Stand in Shit

Beer =                           Hammerton N7, Crunch (Peanut Butter Milk Stout)

Runners =                   13                                               

Virgins =                        0

Visitors =                       0

Newies =                       0

Après =                          0

Hounds =                      1

Total =                          14

Membership =             Ballsier than the Orienteerers!                              


            It was Storm Dennis who threw his best at the British Isles this weekend, but again this corner of Little Britain wasn’t overly effected, unlike other places in the UK.  Of course the exception to the rule being Mount Ware & the railway line down from Royston, where a tree had fallen on the railway line, which delayed Fliptop’s journey.

A couple of early arrivals took shelter from the rain in a nearby Café.  There was no sign of any markings walking down from the railway station, also My Perfect Cousin & Mike hadn’t seen any walking from the opposite direction via Bush Hill, but they knew that the Hare was out there setting the Trail.

Bags were stored in Lofty’s car, as No Eye Deer & Whatever She Says were planning on leaving early, then just like the shop keeper in Mr Benn, Fireball appeared as from out of thin air.  She confirmed that Stand-in Shit was out there, while My Perfect Cousin called the Hare to find out where the start of the Trail was. 

So, after Mr X had announced the correct Run number at around ten past the hour, the now damp Hash set off around on to Firs lane as this runs away to the southeast, but not for too far as a set of arrows directed the Pack down onto the footpath that runs along the western bank of the New River.

Mr X soon discovered that the route was pretty slippery, being mainly Shiggy, & that the lack of tread on his old Hash shoes was going to make his progress pretty hard in places.  If the Shiggy wasn’t bad enough, there were several large piles of poop, so large that these were put down to not being a local hound’s mess but that of an Enfield.

This mythical animal appears on the signage for the Enfield area, quite often this red beast is mistaken for a dragon rampant. [No not a rampant rabbit Pebbledash! – Ed]  Which is not surprising for it has the head of a fox, forelegs like an eagle's talons, the chest of a greyhound, the body of a lion, the hindquarters & tail of a wolf, no wonder the poop was in such large piles. The heraldic Enfield emblem was first recorded as the crest of the O’ Kelly (Ó Cellaigh) family in Ireland.

Anyhow, these obstacles were negotiated, though poor unfortunate hadn’t managed this as one of the huge piles had been swiped forward in along stinky slide of poop.  Whatever She Says had a revelation, he came up with a new Hash position of ‘Hash & Safety officer’, sounded too official to the rest, of course if we were that organised we’d be like the Orienteering Clubs & probably would have cancelled the event having to kowtow down to Nanny State like do-gooding.

The Pack moved along the bank side of the New river, which as you know from previous Hash Trashes, was constructed in the beginning of the 1600’s to supply fresh drinking water to London, which it still does.  The waterway turned to the southwest, there were plenty of fallen branches & even a section of someone’s shed roof along this stretch.  As the New River gently arced to the due south, near to the end of this section, the Trail crossed over a wooden footbridge to the western side before it emerged out on to Ford’s Grove.

Here the Hare appeared but didn’t seem keen on Mr X’s comments of “Now we have caught you, is that it?” Stand-in Shit did however admit that he had changed the Trail due to the amount of surface water in places.  Mike, My Perfect Cousin & My Lil’ had searched the options from the CHK on Ford’s Grove & eventually the Trail was found down by the 85 Squadron Air Training Corp buildings, but to get to the tarmac path that runs beside this, a car park had to be crossed.  Mr X thought that he could cut the corner on this, but he was stopped in his tracks as the whole of the southwestern corner was underwater!

Having backtracked he & Kylie were soon on to the fenced-in footpath running by Highfield Primary School to the left & the new river fenced off to the right, on a south-westward route that took to right-angled turn to come out on to the dead-end of Christine Worsley Close, at the end of the short cul-de-sac by the Pack came on to Highfield Road opposite the Orange Tree Pub, no time for a Beer Stop.

Arrows keept the Hash way from the Pub side of the road by taking the Pack to the west, over a narrow footbridge beside the road bridge spanning the New River, then it was straight back up the eastern edge of the New River!  Heading away north-eastward on another slippery section of riverside path, this being hidden behind the fence that separates the tarmac path, keeping the Trail out of view from where the Keenies had just run down earlier!

The Hare was still loitering around the New River gates, he showed the FRBs out to the end of Fords Grove to come around on to Queens Avenue, ahead of the FRBs were No Eye Deer, Fireball, Lofty & Henry as this back road came out on an elbow in the road to Green Lanes.

Over a zebra crossing & a CHK was found, from where the girls were searching for Trail.  Mike & My Perfect Cousin were spotted coming back from the southern direction of Green Lanes as it passes by the local Sainsbury’s store, they had actually passed by the route the Trail would take.  My Lil’ & Mr X were soon on to this, recalling the last time they ran on Stand-in’s Trail from here.

Arrows were found pointing through the metal gate set in red-brick pillars on a path off beside Sainsbury car park entrance, to run through a long narrow wooded area to the west, the sign on the gate is always of interest with it stating the ‘rules & regulations’ which appear to include skateboarding dogs!  Anyhow, the Hash made their way up to the western edge of the park, where Mike, My Perfect Cousin, Mr X & Wanktlers were all lured around on to the sou-sou-western path running behind Sainsburys.

My Lil’ benefitted in more ways than one in stopping to scare the squirrels, for he wasn’t led around on a False Trail behind the supermarket, so when he saw the others heading back he was straight up off of the elbow in the path & then out of the metal gate in the railings to come out on to Haslemere Road.  They took the Trail’s route up to Orpington Road, where it turned westward. 

Mike & My Perfect Cousin ran on around the 90° bend in the road to the left up ahead of the rest, meanwhile Wanktlers, My Lil' & Mr X slowed up to peer along an alleyway to the north, their curiosity would pay off as Mike & My Perfect Cousin came back from up at the elbow of the street up ahead.  This ginnel led out from beside Winchmore Hill URC Church, then up Compton Road & a westward turn which took the Pack over the railway to around the corner of the junction with Hoppers Road.

A right turn had the Pack running opposite the Lord Salisbury, again just far enough away for Pint with the Trail not crossing over until they were beyond the Pub’s reach, thus removing temptation to stop off.  A CHK was found on the corner of triangular Winchmore Hill Green.

While My Lil' went wrong in searching the north, Wanktlers fared better off to the west on Broad Walk, arrows would take the Hash off of this to run halfway down Branscome Gardens before turning south-westward to take to Denleigh Gardens then to Seaforth Garden, where a right turn would lead the Hash along the rest of the length of this suburban street to enter Grovelands Park at dead-end.

It was at this point in the Trail that the numbers of the Pack were bolstered by another couple as Zing-along-a-max & Limbs Sprouting caught up, they were supposed to be partaking in a Orienteering event this morning but due to the weather for  'elf & safety' reasons it was called off, & so they chose to run the Hash instead.

Once in the woodland the Keenies followed Dust on a nor-nor-east path amongst the trees, taking to a line of duck-boards to the east, but having passed by an old tree trunk ornately carved in the shape of a heron, it was discovered to be false Trail.

Mike & My Perfect Cousin were called back from the desire line through a denser section of woodland out toward Church Hill.  The Hare was now spotted back on the main path, he was marking the Trail to the southward just a short way across from the Grovelands Bowls Club.

Starting on a long trot, the FRBs were now seeing No Eye Deer, Fireball, Whatever She Says, Lofty & Henry all up in front.  They were caught up with as the Trail left the man-made path to take to a desire line in the wooded area of broadleaf trees.  It was pretty obvious that all if the fallen rain wasn't soaking away, as large tracts of this low lying area were flooded like paddy-fields

Cold, wet Hash feet left the woodland, now a trot to the southwest for the Keenies led on around the boating lake, over to the northwest the old Stone edifice of the Priory Hospital could be seen looking down over the Park.  At the southwestern tip of the lake & the Trail seemed to disappear, with the Keenies unsure of where it would go until Mike found the Dust heading south-eastward up through the wood, in a direction toward the back of the fenced off rear gardens on Broad Walk.

Up at the wooden fence & one went wrong in heading along the firm path to the southwest, instead the Trail would head back into the woodland on a desire line in the opposite direction, here there were patches of deep, smelly Shiggy, then there was a fallen tree which some struggled to clamber over.  Zing-along-a-max wondered when the silver birch had been blown over, it looked as if it had been pretty recent, he presumed that it could have been during last week with Storm Ciara. 

Luckily ‘health & safety weren’t there to spoil the as the Keenies got beyond the obstacle to run another tract of deep, stinky Shiggy that just had to be ploughed through, there was no quarter given to avoid the deep Shiggy.  Emerging out near to the Grovelands Café there was a little confusion for Wanktlers as he was seen temporarily looking the wrong way, before realising the rest of the FRBs were out through the gates of the driveway to the southeast, leading up to the Junction of Broad Walk & Woodcroft. 

The Trail markings were now suffering on the pavements & tarmac from the heavier rain fall, for at the junction My Lil’ went wrong & had to be called back to follow the faded arrows around the small roundabout to head off along Woodcroft to the southeast.

Another urban street was run & at the end a right hand turn was taken to head northward on Woodland Way, the Hash passed over the railway line once more but sadly for Kylie all were unaware of this as it runs through a tunnel beneath the streets at this point, as the Hash came back out on to Hoppers Road.  With the heavy rain not letting up, there was a concerted effort to keep running the streets to get back as soon as possible, not time to take notice at the urban streets, except when an elderly couple came out of their front garden gate without looking either way to get to their car.

Nipping down Arlow Road & the Trail came back on to Haslemere, where the railings looked awfully familiar, then at the bottom end the Trail re-entered the small Park behind the local Sainsburys, all just feet away from where Mike had been stopped earlier.

So, out around through the woodland to emerge out of the main entrance & on to Green Lanes once again, then over the zebra crossing & now the Trail would follow the ‘Out’ route back Inn.  Some hesitated at the idea of running the Shiggy footpaths along the New River, especially if they trod in the Enfield Poop at the end, or the Start as it was.  Mr X said it would not be good sitting in the Little Green Dragon with that on the bottom of your shoes!

Anyhow, the rain was getting harder & so at least three decided to take the street option back, running up Green lanes, then turning off as it turns from northward to eastward by the old stone frontage with the emblem of a Green Dragon set into it, sadly this former Pub is now a Waitrose store. 

Time to get out of the rain & sat in the warmth of the Micro-Pub was Fliptop, who claimed he had been out on Trail, to prove his doubters’ wrong he produced his wet kagoule & went on to mention some of the areas the Trail did run along. 

Stand-in went off to get showered & changed, before stopping off to purchase cheese & meats to go with the batons that Fireball had brought along for a little snack for the Pack.  No Eye Deer & Whatever She Says came in, not dashing off as expected, not after Whatever She Says had discovered the Hammerton Crunch, Peanut Butter Milk Stout.  Soon the others were hooked on this.  Meanwhile Kylie seemed to be trying to get the Scribe a Down-Down by questioning how Stand-in Shit prefers his Hash name to be written, hyphen or not?  Stand in Shit said he didn't care!

Fireball & Stand-in did the small Pack proud with the spread of food, in a move that Paxo would have been proud of, Fireball announced Veggies first!  Zing-along-a-max had a vegan tomato or two, while Limbs Sprouting did his usual free-loading & was second up for the free food the Hares had supplied, while coincidentally avoiding to pay any subs yet again.  One reason he doesn’t get awarded any more Down-Downs.

Anyhow, the Circle was held inside, even Whatever She Says wasn't venturing out.  [Health & Safety or was it because it was cold, wet & windy out there? – Ed]  The Hare was rewarded for an excellent Trail that had the Pack almost on a figure of 8, some commented what the result would have been if TBT OBE had attempted this, we'd be out there for weeks was the

Other Down-Downs were Mike for doing the most Falsies [Talk of a Hash name was discussed, but these are best done outside, so it was eft until next time! – Ed]; Fliptop was out for getting out even after the delay with a tree on the line; Whatever She Says for not leaving early due to the Crunch Peanut butter Milk Stout holding him against his will within the Little Green Dragon!  Finally Wanktlers & Stand-on Shit received their 100 Run Tankards.