Run No. 1903

Pub: Countryman

Beers: Courage Best, Sharpes


Hare/s: Fliptop

Runners: 17

Virgins: 0

Visitors: 0

Newies: 1

Après: 0

Hash Hounds: 2

Total: 20

The Pack: Some of us were………

NOT Practicing good hygiene techniques.....for Covid19


            Well “You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead!” [Stan Laurel!] & sometimes you have to wonder on what some of the Pack read & understand with H4 postings on email, Farcebook & the Trash?  But more of that later……

The Hare arrived just a few minutes before the hour. on what was the Ides of March, the Roman Calendar was made up of Nones, Ides & Kalends, the ides were originally Full Moons but later the Ides of March (15th) would become the day to settle debts. 

Because it was the Ides of March this Run was advertised as “Wear Something Roman!” which saw just a few efforts, Mr X as a Centurion, Fliptop as Caesar, My Lil’ with an Isca Hash Roman Away Weekend T-shirt, Milf with her toga/blanket & Wanktlers as Father Jack Hackett (Roman Catholic Priest).

Fliptop went on to explain to the Circle that it was the Ide of March, quoting Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, when Caesar is warned by a Haruspex (A Seer who tells the future by reading animal entrails!) to “Beware the Ides of March!” which he does not heed & later says “The ides have come!” a As Caesar goes to the Senate the Seer says “But have not gone!” & so at the Senate he is assassinated by 60 Senators, including Brutus.  While Fliptop quoted Shakespeare‘s Caesar’s dying words of “Et tu Brute?” My Lil’ quoted Kenneth William’s line from Carry Cleo, of “Infamy! Infamy!  They’ve all got it in for me!”

Then, after it had been pointed out that the time was well gone the hour, our Newbie & her pooch were introduced before the Pack.  Flying Solo, Waragi & Rose welcomed back from their absence, then the Circle were told of what to expect out on Trail, the normal markings applied but there was chance of seeing a herd of Deer, which included a white one, which Teddy ran around after making the Trail take 4 hours to set!!!  At east if was something for No Eye Deer to look out for!  Then the Hash were directed northward up the old Roman Road of Ermine Street.

Mr X was straight on to the first CHK, which looked as if someone had tried to kick it out, but enough remained for him to go off on the side track to the east, but this would soon stop at a T just over the bridge spanning the River Rib.  He came back to see that the rest were now all heading northward up Chipping Hill, where the sight of TBT OBE running away greeted him, see what happens when you don’t wear yourself out playing golf? 

The Pack crossed over to the western side of the ancient route, passing the old red phone-box that now contains a Defibrillator [Where was Pebbledash who has a fancy for such things? – Ed]  Anyhow, just beyond this & the last of the homes, the Trail turned westward to run along the southern end of the farmland sloping away from the road, until reaching the corner, where there was no option but to change tack back to north-westward as the footpath runs along by the edge of the deep ditch that is the slightly drier course of the Rib.

On the way the Pack passed by a rabbit that was clearly suffering from myxomatosis, Mr X did consider putting it out of it misery as he’s done in the past, but there were too many behind him of tender age & possibly squeamish disposition, it was also too chilly wind to wait about in for this Legionnaire, & he didn’t have any hand sanitizer until back at the Pub, so the bunny was left for the local foxes & nature to take its course.  Fliptop tried to call Sis, to warn her to keep Teddy away from the wabid wabbit, but they went by without noticing!

A CHK was found by the ford that crosses before the drop down into the deep ditch of the shallow Rib’s course, from there “On!” was called by Flying Solo, which brought Sludge, TBT OBE & Where’s Wally? back for the west side of the river, but then they soon found that she had discovered the T up along the eastern bank of the river.

Back to the west side & still no dust was found on the southern, western & seemingly the North-western options, until it was spotted in the narrow wooded area running beside the waterway below the fields edge, this was welcomed as it was out of the bitter wind, Rose & Waragi arrived just as “On!” was called in this sheltered long strip of feral land.  Rose was intrigued by the tyre swing, the RA said that it had better tread on it than some vehicles he had seen!

Sludge had by-passed the shelter & continued along to the northwest, where the Trail reached a CHK by where the Footpath splits in two.  Sludge would continue along on the northwest bound option over through the crops, but the Dust wasn’t on that option that He & TBT OBE had taken to.  Sludge wasn’t for turning when Milf & Flying Solo called “On!” from the northbound footpath still by the river on the opposite side from Buckland Bottom!

The rest followed the Hare’s route of heading to the corner of the field, then turning 90 degrees to head up Burhill to the west, where Sludge had already moved on from, which led to comments about how his cutting corners can spoil a Trail for the Hares if the rest blindly follow him & don’t take the Trail out by something worth seeing, or just for the effort the Hare had put in.

Anyhow, the Hare would be pleased to see that Sludge, along with No Eye Deer, would go wrong once across the second hillside field & he had reached a CHK on the drive to Hodenhoe Manor Farm, there Sludge would set off heading out by the farm buildings, then the feeling of joy evaporate as looking back he could see the SCBs were still along by the Rib & then he realised that he had gone awry.

A trot down to the river & over the farm drive bridge to come out on to the elbow in Whiteley Lane, where the Trail was pretty clearly marked up on some of the trees lining the avenue either side of the lane up the opposite hill to Buckland Bury, however a Held CHK halted the Hash progress to the village with a Held CHK just before the old Phone box behind the row of homes, this too is a defibrillator, so, as the Hare said, if you have heart issues this could be the place to live!

 Now, this may have been the Sweet-stop but being the Ides of March there was almost another assassination seemingly taking place as the RA began to choke on the Skittles he was eating, after some cad told a joke that made him laugh, fortunately Milf was on hand to dislodge the ‘Taste the Rainbow’ sweets, while others looked on bewildered!  When Kylie eventually arrived he said “I would have waited for Sis, who is another 15 minutes away!!!

Luckily Mr X had recovered, as Sis was still seething from the Christmas Weekend when she had lost her voice & the RA mercilessly took the rise, so he got away with that one.  Also he got away with being on the wrong side of the defibrillator!  Time to move on & it was out the small side street to the main Ermine Street A10, crossing over to the footpath that runs through to the grounds of St Andrews Church.  My Lil’ on the other hand decided to hobble down the hill of the A10, due to having a bad knee after the Sunday recovery run at the Full Mon the previous weekend.

Where’s Wally? had fair sprinted over the A10, no doubt wind assisted?  He had run around the outside of the Church, following on was TBT OBE, who also had failed to see the Dust on the south side of the Stone & flint religious edifice, while Mr X spotted the correct route calling “On!” as he & Milf ran the right option.  It was now noticeable that the Pack were out of the Wind.

At the north end of the grave yard Mr X called out to TBT OBE who was now on the wrong footpath.  Mr X was surprised to see TBT OBE appear to turn around & put his finger to his lips, as if to signal be quiet?  Since the Church is now redundant, the RA couldn’t see who he could disturb?

Anyhow, Mr X & Milf made good progress as they headed away from Where’s Wally? & TBT OBE who were running away on Daw’s Lane.  With the two descending on Trail between the rows of trees there were Lent Lilies (Daffodils) & primroses to admire, which the Pack were told to look out for, then near the bottom of the valley the underfoot ground became flooded, so a zing-zag course with a hop, step & jump was needed to try & attempt to keep to the firmer ground.

At the end of the avenue there was a CHK on the opposite side of a small wooden footbridge with rails on either side, but the only real option to run was that of due south along the brook’s eastern edge, the Trail had now dripped some 90 feet in height, so a trot along the bottom of the vale would eventually mean there would be a clamber up the opposite side. 

There was another CHK by the Stream, this being at the another wooden footbridge, there Milf wanted to check out way to the west, but Mr X convinced her that it would be a long loop around that way.  Having crossed the first bridge, the pair crossed another one set at a right-angle to the first, continuing southward on a long gentle rise up the hill side toward Capons Wood, this section of Trail became more exposed as it rose up & the biting wind made the long trudge seem further, but to take their minds off of the chill the three looked around for deer, but all they saw was a Hare, before it hunkered down in its scrape & out of view.

This long stretch would this the Pack out to well over the Self-distancing space, with the three Keenies getting away from Father Jack Hackett, No Eye Deer, Flying Solo, TBT OBE, Sludge, Rose & Waragi, who in turn were getting away from Sis, our Newbie & the pooches, Whatever She Says & Flanders.

Up to the Capon’s Wood, which thankfully briefly blocked the wind, but once along the end of the northern corner the Trail came out to the western edge of the wood & face in to the wind on the top end of the exposed farm land, at least looking away to the southwest the Trio could see the hamlet of Chipping.

So, at the southwestern corner of the woodland the Trail turned around a bend in the farm track to head away to head westward to drop almost 100 feet in height on the long trot down Hill, parts of the fam track had old bits of old tarmac road, including a couple of old cats-eyes, bricks & all kinds of hardcore.

The On Inn was found just before Mill Cottage, to come around back over the Rib & in to the Countryman, where there was a warm welcome, real fires bringing in contrast to a glum looking My Lil’!  Father Jack Hackett bless the Pub as he entered & the Pack settled in, talk was really about the Coronavirus, as well as Flying Solo’s recent absence due to broken ribs, apparently caused by trying to save a run-away daughter on Skis!

The RA produced a bottle of Hand Sanitizer for all to use, which was needed as TBT OBE kept licking his fingers to turn the pages of the Hash Book, & he even contaminated the Pope’s Pen, which Father Jack Hackett had purloined from the Vatican, this was soon smeared in gel!  [Dirty! Dirty! Dirty! – Ed]

So, we now know why TBT OBE picks up so many bugs, licking his own fingers!  If this wasn’t bad enough, when the Circle was called Sludge took it upon himself to split the remaining drinks by putting Ale from a clean glasses into a used glass & then back again!  Who said with age comes wisdom?  They were f*cking wrong!

An excellent spread of hot snacks, self-made mini toad in the holes were good fun, & there was enough for seconds, though Rose seemed to have a table full of sweets, though these were rationed out by Waragi.  The Circle was called, & Fliptop took the Beers outside, but due to the demanding Circle, & the Landlord Approval, he brought them back in so the Circle could be held inside in the dry, since it had started raining since the Pack returned.

The Hare was rewarded for a great Trail; Mr X was awarded one by Fliptop for his Choking episode; Sludge was out for going wrong, he was joined by Where’s Wally? & TBT OBE; Flying Solo was awarded hers for breaking her ribs Skiing!  Wanktlers won the best dressed, especially the wig he was wearing, this gained him a bottle of Waragi’s home made Sloe Gin