Run No. 1926

Sunday 6th June 2021

Venue: The Sheldon Inn

Beers: Bottled Tanglefoot; Hobgoblin Gold;

Location: Welwyn Garden City

Hare/s: Mr X

Runners: 18

Virgins: 0

Visitors: 0

Newies: 0

Après: 0

Hash Hounds: 0

Total: 17

Membership: Stripped, Torn & Abused!

            A light precipitation was in the air as the Hare walked over to the Sheldon, a Pub once known as the Mayflower but then reborn a couple of years ago, with a name that is an anagram of the Haldens Area, however the drizzle would soon pass & the sun began breaking through the clouds.  It was a welcome back for FWB, who has been absent after a knee injury.

My Lil’ commented on how early everyone was early this week, which would have allowed the first Pod to get underway as advertised at 10:45, but this being the Hash it was delayed for another 10 minutes as our Haberdasher was doing his best ‘Del-boy Trotter’ in trying to hawk is wares to 50 Shades.  Meanwhile Mr X had Lemming & Mother trying to stir things up after he informed them that there was no draft ale, only bottled ales available in the Pub, they haven’t had the demand back as yet to warrant putting barrels back on hand-pump.

Finally the Pods got underway as arrows pointed the way south-eastward up Sloans way, it was just a few yards to the First CHK of the day, strategically placed far enough away from the Pub to appease My Lil’ & his aversion to CHKs outside of the On Inn!

50 Shades asked the Hare how long the Trail was, “Around four and a half miles, but there would be short cuts marked once the FRB Pod had been by them!” said the Hare, this left 50 Shades at ease as she was just getting back into running.  The Hare just advised her to do what she could & then if need be she could drop back with the ‘Knitting Circle Pod’.

Options from the CHK were to continue along Sloans way, which had some attraction for Flying Solo, or search nor-nor-eastward on Flexley Wood & this was My Lil’s preferred option, there his local knowledge paid off as My Lil picked up arrows leading up to the end of the urban street, with Tent Packer, 50 Shades, Fliptop all following on to take a turn to the right at the T-junction of Rowans.

Coming around the corner Pebbledash wondered what was the pungent smell in the air was?  Paxo said that it was the nearby hawthorn hedges & trees after the earlier watering, Pebbledash then lowered the tone by claiming that it smelt like semen! [One can only have concerns for Pepé le Pew! – ED]

A short way later the next CHK was found, Flying Solo who had caught up again then chose the wrong for a second time, as she searched Swanhill to the south.  Lemming also fell foul by running further down Rowans before coming back to find My Lil had picked up the Trail northward into Margery Wood, where arrows were found by the corner of Nutfield.

Once through the cul-de-sac of Nutfield, the Trail changed from east to north then coming down a short set of steps, this led onto a footpath heading out between a couple of fields on the southern side of the B1000 Hertford Road.  Fliptop didn’t have Teddy with him this morning, which was lucky as beyond the chain-link fencing to his left was the Dog Academy, Behaviourist & Training Centre, it was all set up with undercover shade & a series of cones set out for agility training.

Care was taken crossing straight over to the fields on the north side of the old Hertford Road.  A short trot down through the meadow & the Pack were led up on to a wooden footbridge spanning the River Mimram, this is one of the only 200 Chalk bed rivers in the world, the water quality is now carefully monitored due to its uniqueness & the wildlife that live in it.

Through the wooded area on the opposite side of the river before reaching the drive to Tewin Water Hall, formerly the residential school for deaf students.  After a 240 Yard rise on the fenced-in path up over a large field for the Pods to come out through a kissing gate in the hedgerow, where a CHK lay in wait on a southeast-northwest byway, there were three options from here.

With a Falsie to the northwest, then another to the northeast the first Pod were caught out before the Trail was found heading down the stony old route to the southeast, Mr X hung back to wait for Skip, FWB & Little Hole, after he direct No Eye Deer & Whatevershesays down toward where the by-way rose up as it made its way 475 Yards through the elongated Dawley Plantation.

With Skip, FWB & Little Hole safely set on the Short, Short Cut, which cut out the climb up & a long steep descent later in the Trail, Mr X set off with TBT OBE to attempt to catch up with Pebbledash & Paxo.  On the way TBT OBE told Mr X that Mrs TBT had fallen over & hurt her ribs, Mr X wondered if there was a something catching here with bruised & fractured ribs?  TBT OBE also thanked Mr X for being a thoughtful enough Hare to have highlighting with flour a low wooden stump earlier, so he didn’t trip over it.

The shade in the plantation was appreciated before the FRB Pods came out on to the plateau to cover more open & exposed farm land to reach another CHK.  Here there were only two options?  Continue down toward Westley Wood, or head northward over between the farm fields?  My Lil’, Lemming, Flying Solo, 50 Shades, Noisy F# & Tent Packer were soon on Trail along the wide dusty & stony track to Westley Wood. 

Mr X & TBT OBE caught up with Paxo & Pebbledash, ahead they could see the Keenies as the route changed direction by around 15 degrees after 480 Yards as Pod1 reached a CHK, situated beside a northeast path over the crop fields.  Flying Solo, Lemming & 50 Shades could now be seen running over to the corner of the outbuildings amongst the trees beside Muspatts Farm.

Aptly on this day, looking over the crops the odd poppy could be seen breaking up the uniform brown of the wheat fields, for its 77 Years to the day since D-Day, and the commemoration of the 22,442 British & Commonwealth Soldiers & people who fell at the Normandy Beaches & the liberation of France finally get a permanent memorial for Gold Beach at Ver-sur-mer.

Back to the Hash & My Lil’ & Lemming were spot on as they led the Pods over the fields toward Tewin, the distinctive red brick Shire Park Bowls Club House standing out in the distance, they reached a CHK at a crossroads of footpaths, here the choices were further eastward toward Tewin, south down to Churchfield Road or look to the north up between the farm fields to Margery Green.  It was around here that My Lil’s local knowledge was going to stutter & to fail, much to Lemming’s distain as he would report back to the RA!

The eastward choice won out over the others as the FRB Pods headed to the west of Tewin, a village that has a name that is derived from the God Tew (or Týr in Norse) the God of War & Justice, Tuesday is named after him, he is depicted for having only one hand after he placed his other in the mouth of Fenir (The huge Mythological Wolf) as a Guarantee Fenir would be set free, something that Fenir did not believe & so Tew lost his hand.

Away from the mythology, after 50 yards the Trail would quickly move off from due east to northeast near to the Bowls Greens & another CHK by the edge of the end of the crop field in Tewin Lower Green, while setting the Trail, the Hare stopped to inform a dog walker about the Dust, but the dog walker was more concerned if the Parish Council knew about the Hash setting a Trail?  Since we weren’t going to be 120 Cyclists stopping for a drink in Tewin & the Trail was not going into the village, the Hare told the guy we weren’t stopping there.

The FRB Pods were seen heading through the crop & up to a gate at the end, to cross a short enclosure to come out onto the shade tree lined the ancient route of Back Lane, there a CHK was found.  While the FRBs Pods were taken on this loop out, Mr X sent TBT OBE, Paxo & Pebbledash on a short cut from the CHK by the corner of Muspatt’s Farm, while Mother joined him on following on behind No Eye Deer & Whatevershesays on the loop.

Mothers was now too preoccupied by a video link to her Sister that all her good work of walking to save her bruised & fractured rib, after she tripping outside her home, was lost as she tripped again, though she didn’t go down [Cue Lemming to make a lewd comment now! – Ed] however she did get a painful jolt!  It was as the Trail turned at this furthest point out that the skies clouded over & there was a very noticeable increase in the humidity

            The options were nor-nor-west, or sou-sou-east, the Hare had set the route to the nor-nor-west which kept the Pods safely away from the Rose & Crown!  It was a fairly nice trot, providing you didn’t swallow the clouds of flies buzzing around the cow parsley in the hedges, this route lead 650 Yards on to the Upper Green part of Tewin.

A CHK on a fallen tree trunk by the old Upper Green duck pond had two options, would the Trail really head away on the southwest path back toward through Margery Green to Tewin water Farm beyond?   Here Flying Solo, 50 Shades & Noisy F# all went wrong, perhaps it was My Lil’’s Hash compass going wrong?  By the time the Hare arrived at the CHK, he was just in time to see No Eye Deer & Whatevershesays go wrong, but a call of “On!” from Lemming soon brought then back on track as the Trail headed southwest away through Marjory Green from Tewin Upper Green.

It was along this dusty hedgerow lined track, while setting the Trail, that the Hare had to dodge some kid in a silver golf, who was driving along this way as if he was in a Rally, as he carelessly sped by civilian walkers on his rush to the activity centre in nearby Dawley Wood.

After some 250 yards the Trail reached a CHK, would it be a double bluff from the Hare in continuing south-westward toward Tewin Water, or south back to Muspatt’s Farm?  Neither, as the SCB Pod had already been through, as had Lemming & so the CHK was broken in the direction of Dawley Wood, it was on the way to the plantation that Flying Solo, 50 Shades & Noisy F# all caught up to pass by Mother & the Hare.

The Pods would follow the track by the oncoming ramblers & through the wood, pausing by the small shelter selling hens & duck eggs, Mother now told the Hare that she doesn’t like Duck eggs, Mr X said it was probably because they remind her of Lemmings head?

After the gentle rise of 80 feet earlier in the Trail, there would be an opposite to this & once beyond the two large tree trunks the Pods encountered the steeper & longer drop into the valley of farm fields.  Finally, once in the floor of the valley & out of the wood a CHK was found & this had three options, northeast to Cooks Wood, southwest or northwest up the hill toward Harmer Green?

With the Short, Short Cutting Pod’s Trail emerging out to the CHK here, this narrowed the options down to two.  The uphill option was correct, where after 500 yards the Trail reached the level, to come on to the hard-capped end of fantastically named Pennyfather’s Lane.  Mr X said that he didn’t know why it was called so, which led to Mother setting him a challenge to discover its origins?  Well here we go, in 1602 Edward Pennyfather, inherited Welch's Farm in Harmer Green at his uncle's death.  The lane is named after this local Family, whose name was an old English connotation for a Miser, or Spendthrift.

A CHK was found as the tarmac section of lane began by the small picturesque cottages at the southern tip of Harmer Green.  The Hare arrived & marked the CHK to the southwest, on a footpath with two large hedges on either side, all of the shade from the foliage meant there was no sunshine to dry out the Shiggy as the Trail led behind the houses, then he reached a large dry stone in the path that flour had been placed, but this had been kicked to one side & it now appear to be a Bar CHK!

So, for the backmarkers an arrow was placed over this to avoid any confusion, a bit of calling out “On! On!” now had Flying Solo coming back from searching the other two options.  Flying Solo now asked the Hare if he had deliberately put in a Bar CHK &b then changed it, he didn’t & he wasn’t sure if she believed him?  Especially after he asked if anyone else was behind her?  When she said “Lemming is!” Mr X began chortling away like the ‘Laughing Policemen!”  Mother had a wry smile on her face as well, which was good that she wasn’t guffawing as it would have hurt her ribs.

Lemming finally emerged from the footpath, he caught up with the Hare & spilt the beans on My Lil’ Pennyfather going wrong further back on the Trail!  At least they could enjoy the great vista over the farmland leading down into the Mimram Valley, with a great view of the viaduct to impress the Hash, shame Kylie was working & not present.

Looking further out over the Mimram valley the greenery of Welwyn Garden City could be seen with the remaining silos of the remnants of the old Shredded Wheat building in the Town Centre.  This descent would be the longest stretch to run, some 1166 Yards, but at least the majority of this was downhill, eventually the Pods would come out on to a short curved end to the footpath & out on to Harmer Green Lane in Digswell, no CHK here, just arrows leading the way down to the roundabout on the B1000 Hertford Road.  Noisy F# had a bit of an advantage at the end of the Trail, for she got the Train from Welwyn North to follow the last section in.

The FRBs found arrows on the southern edge of the B1000 as it leaves Digswell, where the Pods crossed the river Mimram once more via a road bridge, it was here where Skip, Little Hole & FWB were caught up with.  The arrows followed the roadside path through the traffic calming street furniture for 260 Yards, there a footpath headed due south, through the woodland & into Haldens Park where the On Inn was, which after 360 Yards through the play area reached its end & back out to the shops.

With everyone back around in around hour and 15, the Pods settled at the outside tables Mr X had reserved, though Mr X did have trouble with the scan of the app.  Once outside Flying Solo tried to explain the picture Fat Bastard messaged to Mr X, which was of her sporting her new West-London Top with the added slit sleeves, now this would lead on to 50 Shades seeing this & liking the look of this.

Now, Tent Packer was back to flogging his wares as 50 Shades requested a Herts T-shirt, then a chorus of shock went around the tables as Flying Solo then got her hands on a large pair of scissors & was now taking them to 50 Shades T-shirt Arms!  Now like he’s are our own Joe Lycett, Paxo, had to get involved with the H⁴ Great British Sowing Bee (Minus) he & 50 Shades soon got their nails clipped as Flying Solo’s scissors were like those of the Taylor in Heinrich Hoffmann’s 1845 ‘Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher’ (The Story of the (Karl) the Thumb-sucker) they almost got their fingers nicked by the Harriette who was still wearing a bandage on a digit after an incident with a lawnmower!

If that wasn’t enough of a shock to the system, the sacrilege then continued as 50 Shades went on to rip of the bottom of the weakly weekly Trash to give Hash Cash her contact details for the T-shirt payment!

The tables of Pods kept Lee & Rachel busy, but the service was good & pretty attentive, Mr X said that when he was there yesterday the Baileys Colada cheesecake was worth a try, & the entire menu is gluten free, something you don’t see very often.  One of the benefits of the local Covid vaccination programme being so efficient, thanks to Milf & others like her, Mr X & My Lil’ could afford to have a couple of extra beers as they no longer needed to go to the nearby Roche vaccination centre.

After half the Pack headed home, My Lil’ made the rest jump, including Mother with her aching ribs as he bellowed out “Oi, leave it alone!” as he spotted three eastern Europeans touching his bike, they claimed they were looking at ‘a Bug’ on his bike, then they ambled off still drinking their open beers in the street.