Run No. 1935

Sunday 9th August

Venue: Old Cross Tavern

Beers: Brew York Tonkoko Milk Stout; Inferno

Location: Hertford

Hare/s: Ketchup

Runners: 13

Virgins: 0

Visitors: 0

Newies: 0

Après: 1                                                                             

Hash Hounds: 3

Total: 14

Membership: A Cock & Ball Trail?

Two of the Pack managed to drag themselves out of the local Spoons for the start of the Hash, from where they were sat in the window they could see the Hare jog along from Maidenhead Street, so they knew there was a Trail [Not that we don’t trust Ketchup to be reliable! – Ed] A light rain began to fall as they walked around over the weir on the river Lea running by the Hertford Theatre.

            A small group of Hashers were found congregating in the car park, Sludge, Skip, Sis & Fliptop were standing under the overhanging tree canopy with Teddy, in order to keep a little drier, Fliptop was quick to mention that the weather was the RA’s responsibility, but Mr X pointed out that there were blue patches over to the northeast.  Then as if to prove that the rain would ease, the RA removed his jacket to go around the Trail in a T-shirt.

            The Pack grew slightly in size as Milf & Paxo arrived, then as Fliptop was about to call the Circle, Lobby Lobster & Mark E Mark came along with two pooches, again from over the Weir.  After the Introductions, the Hare was called forward, he added that there were short cuts, but for those who were running the Trail that when got near to the end there would be a temptation of carrying on to the Pub, but Ketchup (looking at Sludge) encouraged them to carry on with the Trail.  Why?  Well, if you had a certain route mapping app on your mobile, & it was on, it would spell something out, but only if the whole route was completed!

Mr X then mentioned that there is a guy in Welwyn Garden City who has run routes that leave a ‘comedy cock’ route on users phone app, he did this to raise money for Prostate cancer.  So, with My Lil’ tapping at his watch, the Trail got under way as the Hare informed all that this Trail began around from the lights by the ‘spoons.

It didn’t matter if the Pack went via St Andrew’s Street, or back by the Weir, so the Pack split into two groups on either route to meet up the lights & to a CHK by the start of Maidenhead Street. Even though some were running in T-shirts & the rain had stopped, Paxo was going around with an umbrella in hand [Oh ye of little faith! – Ed]

            While some carried on down opposite the Six Asbos [Templars – Ed], searching beyond the ornate terracotta wall with its raised inscription 'Green Dragon Hotel. Catering for large and small parties. Accommodation for Motorists and Cyclists. Good stabling and Motor Pit' for the long gone Hotel, Mr X busied himself by searching up Maidenhead Street, where he would pick up the Trail to the east.

            A CHK was found on the corner Salisbury Square, here Mr X looked down to Fore Street & was called back when Milf, Fliptop, My Lil’ & Sludge went north-eastward on to Railway Street where they had picked up the Trail running 200 Yards from the White Hart, passing the Hertford Bell then the Snug on the disjointed road.  The Trail stuck with Railway Street as it moved on opposite the eye-sore that is the demolished Birchley Green Shopping Centre to follow the Dust around by the Lord Haig to run down South Street, crossing over at the lights to come around by the Jungle Bar, a noticeable Pub its large plastic animals on top of it.

            At the end of Fore Street the Pack passed by the ornate entrance to the former Bluecoats School, with its two carved figures of pupils in their distinctive Blue Coats to arrive at a CHK by the crossing on the Ware Road.  As Milf & Fliptop went around the corner to search Mill lane to the north, Mr X pressed the crossing button on the junction.  Just after he had done this Ketchup marked the CHK in the direction of Mill Lane, so Mr X ran off that way, unwittingly leaving some frustrated motorists at the red light.

            Leaving the irked motorist behind, Mr X ran this 300 Yard section in case the lights turned green on the way by the local Tesco.  He was tempted to press the button at the next crossing to the supermarket but had better thoughts inn case they tracked him down.  The Trail led by the former Dolphin opposite ornate Hertford East Station, a Pub where Paxo had spent many a lunchtime on the pool table, before it was turned into housing.

            The next CHK was found opposite the start of Mead Lane, Milf was seen to go this way, while Fliptop carried on to search off of the bridge spanning part of the River Lea Weir.  Fliptop called on, Mr X & the Hare called Milf back to run over the wooden boards & on to the edge of Hartham Common near to the canoe club. 

Here the Trail was picked up on the footpath that leads westward behind the Leisure Centre, it then took to the grass expanse as it passed by the Hartham Play Park, where the play equipment had more than a rustic look & feel to it, with thick rope swings, though this line sized ropes looked a little rough & scratchy to sit on for too long.

            The Trail now headed out westward toward the Skate Park, with the success of Skye Brown, as well as Bethany Shriever, Kye Whyte & Charlotte Worthington (Freestyle) in the BMX of the GB team in the Olympics Mr X thought there would be more kids out & about making the most of such facilities but the concrete ramps were not being used.

            My Lil’ was now convinced that the Hash were going to pass by one of Ketchups Homes, or former homes.  He was too far off as the Trail now headed nor-westward to come out of the car park & after some 600 Yards on to a CHK on the edge of Port Hill.  The Hare was amused as the Pack had to use the vehicular access as the footbridge over the River Beane was flooded by the earlier heavy downpour, then he was further surprised that both Milf & Fliptop decided to go up Port Hill toward Bengeo.

            Meanwhile, My Lil’ & Mr X weren’t interested in any altitude, as the RA search down Port Hill My Lil’ went to the old Port Hill road, now cut off from through traffic & it was on here he found Dust, the other two were called back.  Mr X was now trying to work out what the Trail would spell, he said it was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious or Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Railway Station he was giving up after the second letter!

            The Pack were not far from Biggles House, one of Ketchup’s former homes was now in view, this is named after W.E. Johns the writer of the Biggles Books who once lived there. 

The Trail now turned on to Port Vale, leading on by the Two Brewers & then the Millstream, Ketchup recalled a Herts X-mas Party there many years ago!   After 200 Yards My Li’l went wrong at a CHK before the old railway bridge that has no top on it any more.  The Trail would now head through the two remaining brick stanchions but the Hare & Mr X had to stop to allow a car to pass through the now flooded dip in the road where the bridge was. 

The Hare said earlier that he & a member of the public had to frantically wave at a guy in a black ford who was happy to plough through this at speed & soak them, his car was seen parked up outside of the Millstream.

            Mr X wondered “Who in their right mind would speed through a flooded road if you can’t see what could be under the water, a pot hole of a brick could ruin your wheels?  Later My Lil’ said that his mum had sped through a puddle on her mobility scooter, which made it pack up for a while, somehow she corralled a few blokes with a van to get it back to her home.

            The Trail now headed another 200 Yards down to the end of Port Vale & a CHK was found by Beane Road, the favoured choices was to head on down Molewood Road, sure enough it did go that way for 250 Yards between the street lined with terraced homes until coming out to the end where the road becomes a narrow drive into the woodland of Moleswood. 

            A CHK was found at the start of the wood, My Lil’ was grumbling away as there were two only options, one was up the steep set of steps up to the northeast that lead up the end of the homes that line the hillside & up to Bengeo!  Thankfully after running 270 Yards, My Lil’ could relax as a figure could be seen lurking at the top of the steps & this turned out to be Fliptop, who was about to turn around & come back down the many steps when Milf called “On!” from way down back on the drive.

            The Trail led through the wood, two of the FRBs stopped off on the way to scare the squirrels, seems the pint of Phoenix IPA had now risen!  The FRBs came out by the old Waterworks pump-house building & on to the next CHK by the drive up to Woodville Place, there were two options again, one of which was another steep climb through Moleswood on a ridge up to Bengeo, no one need searched that was as Milf was already ‘On Trail’ to the northwest on the now uncapped section of track

            The FRB’s were led under the Railway Bridge for the Hertford North Loop Line, with a part of the river Beane to the northern edge as the way curved slightly to come out on to the edge of North Road, here Skip, Sis & Teddy as well as Paxo & his brolly, was doing a Steve McLaren (The former England Manager was christened the Wally with the Brolly by the Sun) were found waiting after being on an earlier short cut. 

The waiting Pack now realised that they hadn’t seen Sludge for quite a while?  When asked where Mark E Mark & Lobby were with their two pooches, the others were told that they were going to walk all of the Trail & were further back.

            Again there were only two ways to search, one along the road from Stevenage to Hertford in a northward directions to go off either into High Moleswood, or into the Goldings estate on the opposite side of the road, or head southward back toward Hertford.  While others fancied the northern option, Mr X’s hunches were on the return to our County Town & he was proved correct as he passed over the bridge spanning the southern arm of the river Beane.

It was another 800 yards until the next CHK, Milf soon passed Mr X as the Trail ran on by the allotments, on the opposite side of the road to the Hertford Cemetery, the Trail came onto a CHK under the bridge for the Hertford North Station Trains from Stevenage.  When Mr X arrived, Milf was coming back toward him as she couldn’t see Dust down toward the Station & she pointed out the CHK that he had failed to see as a ‘Road Closed’ Sign had obscured it.

So, My Lil’ now crossed over to search the Welwyn Road to Sele Farm Estate & Mr X off the nearby Sandy Close, as he knew there was a footpath back here somewhere that runs over the hill, both were wrong as ‘On’ was marked by the Hare back under the railway bridge to where Milf had been, but obviously not far enough!

On the way down the steep hill, the RA felt a twinge in an ankle so he had to slow up before coming back to follow on behind the rest on the next section of North Road, as he did Des Res went trotting by after his late start.  The Trail would now run down by derelict site of the former Sele Arms (Or Mill House) Pub, then the small new estate of Sele Mill, Sis pointed this out to Skip that it was the site of the Hertford Flour Mill, in fact it was also the site of the first Paper Mill in the UK, owned by John Tate it was founded around 1488.

The Tail now ran opposite to the Hertford County Hospital, with its Palladian front, to run the last section of North Road, then just on the bend where the road becomes St Andrews Street large arrows pointed the way to the subway under the nearby A414 Gascoyne Way, while the Keenies took to the subterranean passageway & up on to the southeast bound side of the dual carriageway by the New Aldi Store, the RA pulled up & decided to walk along the opposite side of the A414, via the footpath beside St Andrews Church & then the edge of the grounds of Hertford Castle but he wasn’t going to see the FRBs anywhere in there & would not intercept them.

The rest now made their way around the back of the local Police Station, this loop was needed to finish off the figure the Hash were still running.  Mr X would eventually see them as the FRBs came back via Fore Street & on to the Wash.  Still there was no sign of Sludge!

Back in the Pub & the Pack met up with Sparerib, who after arriving late he decided that his running gear was staying put in his boot!  The rest eventually made it back, even Sludge from his own little Trail!  It was nice to be back in HQ & the Milk Stout was a knock out, right up there in the selection of Beers, but not everyone had a chance to sample the Inferno, the strongest on offer that night as Mark E Mark managed to bag the last one!

However, most were intrigued to see what image the Trail had left on the apps, well Ketchups was a comedy cock, but Milf’s Trail looked a lot different & if that’s supposed to be Ketchup’s appendage he needs to see a Doctor, or plastic surgeon!!

Being out the back of the Pub the Circle was called eventually called, the Hare was rewarded for a good Trail even if some couldn’t quite create anything phallic on their apps.  Des Res was out for his bragging about being away on a ‘Whiskey Tasting Tour’!  Sludge was out for disappearing & probably adding the short & curlies to the Scrotum of the Trail as he kept going off before disappearing!