Run No. 1938

Bank Holiday Monday 30th August

Venue: Chez My Lil’

Beers: Adnams; Bishops Finger, Milk Stout, Plum Porter

Location: Welwyn Garden City

Hare/s: My Lil’

Runners: 24

Virgins: 1

Visitors: 0

Newies: 0

Après: 3          

Hash Hounds: 1

Total: 29

Membership: Hash Paralyticans

            The annul My Lil’ Barbecue had come around again, though the weather didn’t look that clever to start with.  Even the RA felt a little moister in the air as he walked over to the venue, there would be a threat of rain on & off for the rest of the day.  Thankfully it really never got to a point where it did rain.

            There were a few early arrivals, the roads this morning were exceptionally quiet, as Crusty Ring & Virgin David arrived, then Lemming & Mother all found Mr X was already there enjoying an early ‘Nun’s Delight’ [Bishops Finger! – Ed]  The Hare’s back garden had been decorated with a few Chelsea FC Flags, those Gooners who arrived seemed to be questioned o how many goals the Arsenil have scored after three game soft the new season, seems the answer in ‘Nil Point’.

Time came around to the start of the Hash & the Hare ushered everyone out to the front of his house, there he explained that the Trail was normal Herts Hash Markings, something that Crusty would have to explain to David as they went around today’s route.  The Hare added that it was a short Trail (by his standards) & that there would be a Held CHK in a playing field were some Hash games were to be had!

            Things got under way with the Hash heading westward to the roundabout at the end of Howlands, probably the longest road in Welwyn Garden City & named after the long gone Howlands Farm.  Mr X led the way as he had already seen arrows leading under to the centre of the roundabout on his walk over to My Lil’s gaff.  However, this was going to turn out to be merely a rouse to get Mr X, Lemming, Tent Packer & Fliptop to head away on a loop to start with!

From the CHK in the sunken centre of the Roundabout on Chequers, these Keenies found the Falsies before coming back to Howlands, but this time on the southern side to head eastward where they could see the arrow was craftily hidden behind a green fibre-optic multiplexing box from view on the way out!

The Rest of the Pack were now out of sight as they were already down Boundary Lane, named after the fact it was once the boundary between the Hatfield Hyde & the Salisbury Estate.  As Mr X & Lemming came around to head southward on Boundary Lane, it was pointed out to Lemming that there was an arrow right by his car, “To be fair!” Said Lemming, “Mother got out of that side of the car!” as Lemming instinctively tried to shift the blame.

Catching up from one loop mean that at the next CHK the Keenies arrived to find that the CHK by Elliot Close was now marked with an SC to indicate this was a short cut, while the Trail was marked over to the cut-through to Drycroft in the east, but by this time No Eye Deer was found running toward the CHK from a southward direction, she told the others that this was another Loop that she had just completed, so Mr X, Tent Packer, Fliptop & Lemming all now chose to follow on behind Paxo, Skip, Little Hole & Party Animal who were with the Hare.

The Trail now led on to a footpath running westward behind the flats of Elliot Close & then out on to Chequers, there arrows pointed the way to the south, in a direction toward Hatfield.  The Pack were not going to run that far, as after 80 yards there were two more arrows on the footpath/cycleway & now the Pack were turned eastward, most having to crouch donw to pass through the thick hedgerow to enter the corner of the eastern section of the Creswick Plantation.

Tent Packer, Mr X & Co were now catching up with Waragi & Supertrouper, then Milf & Sludge as they followed the Trail through the pine plantation on a winding desire-line that weaved its way over to its south-eastern edge & then out on to the fallow edge of a crop field, in turn the FRBs were now overtaken by Flying Solo.

  Back up to the north the Hare was spotted as he led the SCBs along a short cut by the tree-line ahead of them.  Some of the Keenies now decided that they would leave the strip of tall wild plants & nettles [They don’t sting this time of year! – Ed] to run on the ‘easier under foot’ dog-walkers route on the edge of the farm field.

            There were still pot-holes along the bone dry earthen footpath to avoid as the Trail turned from north to east to run behind the homes on Boundary Lane, it was like de-ja-vu as the Keenies now had to pass Paxo, Crusty Ring, David, Kylie, Little Hole, Skip & Party Animal again!  After around 350 Yards the Trail reached the corner of the third of the crop fields, care was taken on coming down the tree-lined embankment & on to the end of Holly Bush Lane, before Chequers was built in the 1960’s this was the main route in to the eastern side of Welwyn Garden City from Hatfield.

            Mr X discouraged others from searching the narrow lane to the south, it’s a long way down there to the next footpath & there were more options back on Boundary Lane.  Sure enough, Milf called “On!” as Flying Solo picked up the Trail just as short way off on the bend in Boundary Lane to take to Golden Dell. 

The Hare was now going to take the Pack on another convoluted route, heading up through the dead-end of Camfield to find a CHK on the long cut-through path at the northern end.  At least Lemming got to stop & take a deep breath of the scented roses as he poked his nose in at someone’s front garden here.  [The RA really hoped that these had been sprayed for aphid, but sadly not! – Ed]

            Flying Solo & Milf led the charge eastward & out on to Golden Dell once again, passing by a large white truck that was actually a mobilehome, with Busca tus sueños written on it, Mr X reckoned this translated as Good Dreams, it actually meant Seek your dreams in Spanish!  The Pack followed the road out on to Howlands for a second time, only a short trot to the east to reach a CHK opposite a southbound footpath heading over a small green space, this runs away behind the New QEII Hospital, Mr X had to call Whatevershesays for searching any further along Howlands as “On!” was called.

            The Trail now came out in to the dead-end of the area of newer homes around Kingsley Court, again there was more twists & turns for the Hash to work their way around to weave their way down Bennet Close & finally to come out through a short passageway to Ascot’s Lane, where the Trail crossed over the roundabout to head southward down Gypsy Lane.

As the middle order made their way down this narrow country lane, a car came speeding far too fast toward them, driven by some young bloke leaving the Mill Green Golf Course, verbal warnings of “Petrol!” were shouted out to warn those behind of the oncoming prat!

            Heading toward the Golf Club entrance, Mr X & the Hare saw Milf, Flying Solo, Sludge, Lemming all coming back toward them after finding a Bar CHK, while the others looked bamboozled as where to go, Milf went off to Trespass look on the western side of the Golf Course but it was Flying Solo who looked out on the footpath heading eastward along the edge of the Fairway & picked up Dust as it runs along the bottom of Hatfield Cricket Club’s Grounds to reach the western edge of Commons Wood.

            A CHK just inside the woodland caught out the first of the Keenies before the Trail proper was picked up larger, wider, more established path to the south, this would be the start of a long section.  First it was around 250 Yards to the south before reaching the southern tip of the wood, then a sharp turn to embark on a 400 Yard run through the inside edge of the broadleaf woodland to emerging out on to the edge of the golf course.

            Two golfers looked on as Sludge called out “Checking!” as he reached a CHK point just back inside the wood.  Two options, eastward or northward?  The northern option was correct & after around 180 Yards the Hash reached a major crossroads of tracks.  A further 220 Yards northward had the Pack moving from one dry higher tramline to the other to avoid the deep wet Shiggy in the tracts, this Trail had everything so far.

            For the Keenies they would led away to the southeast as they would be taken along a narrower path, this was littered with lots of TBT OBE & Sparky traps, being in the guise of gnarled old roots of the larger established broadleaf trees as the route ran beside a stream, some of the Keenies slowed a wee bit in order to avoid tripping over these, before coming down to a shallow area in the watercourse & a water crossing that was about six inches deep at its most, Mother advised Mr X to watch he doesn’t get his feet wet but having longer legs it was a simple stride for the RA to clear the stream.

The Trail now crossed a new footbridge to take the FRBs back along by the steam, this time on its northern bramble lined bank, along this way Mr X reminisced about the time before the footbridges when (The Late) Grunter got once stuck in the Hash water crossing at this very spot & he struggled to clamber up the steep bank, when he did reappear he had fallen foul of the overhanging brambles & he was scratched to pieces.

It seemed like a long 200 Yards on the wide hard-capped path to a footbridge where the SCBs had already been directed across this via the Short Cut.  The Keenies caught Crusty Ring, David & Little Hole & they were well on their way northward through a wide green space between the homes of the Commons & Queens Avenue to reach Howlands.

Arrows pointed straight over Howlands & on to a 150 Yard footpath through a wooded strip out to Moorlands, here the Trail was marked on the trees on the green corner of Thumbswood, as Mr X caught up with Mother & Lemming, the two ahead of him began to conspire to try & wind him up about what the itinerary is for the upcoming Matlock Weekend, the RA was not falling for this as its all the planning is down to Alfa Male.

At the end of Thumsbwood there were two options, to follow the arrows of the Trail to the right on Beehive Lane to the northeast before coming back through another of Welwyn Garden’s green spaces, or take a short cut up a side street to reach one of the entrances to the King George V playing fields, one of the 400 plus in the UK to honour King George V after the end of World War I, as he requested instead of having statues erected.

Lemming & Mother was impressed as they entered the large green expanse of the playing fields, heading south-westerly passing by the pavilion, it was a 600 Yard run over the various pitches & by the cricket wicket to reach the west edge of the park & there under a large tree was a Held CHK. 

Waiting there, as instructed earlier by the Hare was Flying Solo, as No Eye Deer, Milf, Sludge, Tent Packer, Mother Lemming, Supertrouper, Waragi & Mr X caught up with her.

There was a short wait for Whatevershesays, Crusty Ring, David, then Skip, Little Hole & Party Animal all to arrive, the Hare needed three teams of four, as in honour of the Olympics in Tokyo & the Paralympics we were having our very own ‘Hash Paralytics Games’.  Waragi told the RA that Supertrouper was up for games, she recently attended an event & was the only one interested in playing with a Diablo, the spinning top you balance along on a piece of string, a toy from the days gone by when Sparky used to derive great pleasure with a Hoop & a stick. [He probably still does? – Ed]

There would be a three legged race down to start with, then when the leg bound duo’s reached the line Mr X was marshalling at, the Egg & Spoon racers could set off back up the course, then the final leg was a Sack Race returning to the far end.  Ketchup & Prince Garmin arrived but weren’t in time to join the teams, after just catching up after their late start.

The Teams consisted of: Team 1: Mother & Lemming, Crusty & David; Team 2: was Flying Solo, Waragi, Supertrouper & Milf followed by Team 3: of Whatevershesays, Tent Packer, Kylie & Sludge, so, things began with the three-legged race, Lemming had a plan for this as he barked out “One, Two! One! Two!” to Mother like he was an RSM, but it worked as they managed to run in time & raced ahead of Tent Packer & Kylie, then Flying Solo & Milf who were trailing in third place, no one expected that!

With Mother & Lemming having reached the line first, it time for David to set off in the lead with the Egg & Spoon to run back to the first line, he was followed by Whatevershesays in second place with Waragi as the last Egg & Spooner but as Waragi made her way to the line David had crossed it & Crusty Ring was already hopping down the course with some vigour in her sack! 

Sludge set off in his sack but seemed to get stuck on the spot around halfway, Supertrouper was soon passing by him, she had an advantage as she didn’t need to hop as her smaller gate allowed her to walk with a foot in each corner of the sack!  [Thankfully there was no Pebbledash here today, otherwise we would have heard many jokes about Sludge not being very good in the sack! – Ed]

With the race over the Hare now gathered up the props, it was noticed that no eggs were dropped or broken.  Who says that the Hash isn’t competitive?  He then awarded ‘Gold’ chocolate Bars to the winning team of Mother, Lemming, David & Crusty Ring, then there were Silver team of Milf, Flying Solo, Wargai & Supertouper who received Kit Kats with the red label off, finally the bronze prize went to Sludge, Whatevershesays, Tent Packer & Kylie & they got Bronze foiled Rolos!

Now, this being the Hash there was an excess of sweets & soon there was an offer of “Anyone want a finger?” [As in the Kit Kats! – Ed] & thankfully Mr X was on hand to place his hands over Supertouper’s ears as the Pack sang “How would you like my finger in your ear?” which has a naughty word in it the verse!

The games over & the final leg began with the Pack leaving the KGV by way of Homestead Lane, however anyone would have thought that it was Valentine’s Day, with some cooing along the way from Milf over her being given Kylie’s last Rolo.  [Followed by the sound of reaching! And before you ask, Whatevershesays lived up to his name! – Ed]

Leaving Cupid behind, the Trail turned left & on to Hollybush Lane, there the Trail split, with a long Trail heading northward & the SCB one heading southward, by this point the Long Trail was down to just a handful of Gluttons for punishment Keenies with the majority following the Hare on the shorter version.

For Flying Solo, Sludge, No Eye Deer, Tent Packer, Milf, Lemming, Mother & Mr X they would follow the Trail around to Great Ley, where they headed westward, this maybe the last leg of the Trail but it didn’t stop the Hare from catching out Flying Solo & Sludge as the Trail was going to end as it started, with a lot of twists & turns, concealed arrows & dead-ends as the FRBs eventually negotiated their way along Sir John Newsom Way.  Milf commented on the fenced off area of green that the locals could not access, it was rather bizarre.

Mr X knew that the Trail had to make its way over to Layton Street, the only ‘Street’ in Welwyn Garden City, which when it was named had the local Society up in arms, as originally the road names in the Garden City should be more rural sounding, representing the historic areas & not be represent as Streets.  Hence the use of Cotts, Dells, Leys, Meads, Groves & Lanes in the area.

The Trail came around via Chambers Grove & then on to Layton Street, at the end of this was the On In as Mr X led the way back & out on to Howlands just behind Skip & Little Hole.  Flying Solo didn’t hang around as she was off for another event that day.

Back at the On Inn & the Hash were treated to a good selection of Ales & Ciders, with free softies!  The Ales included Abbot Reserve, Milk Stouts, Plum Porters, if that wasn’t enough by then, there was Gin & Tonic & to round things off there was a Welsh Whiskey!  If the Hash hadn’t had enough games for the day, there was more fun to be had with a game of ‘Let Lemming chase his hat around the garden!’  Perhaps the afore mentioned dinks were the cause of Lemming’s headwear woes?

The food was the usual plentiful quality, with Paxo & Fliptop in charge of the Barbeque, leaving My Lil’ to keep going back & forth to bring out the Chicken, as well as other various snacks to keep the hunger pangs away!  Mother didn’t look too enamoured with the Lime-pickle that Mr X had brought along for her to enjoy with her burger, she pulled hat face without even trying some.

The Circle was called after the first round of food, the RA noticed that there was special kebab’s & one was for Kylie who almost cried at Sludge’s Barbecue when My Lil’ had the last one! [It wasn’t as if it was his last Rolo! – Ed]  All before the sweets of Skip’s Rhubarb & Loganberry crumble, Pavlova & a fruit pie all came out!  The Hare was called out for setting an excellent Trail, which caught a few old hands out, as well as being entertaining with the Hash Paralytic Games.

Also out were Mother & Lemming for parking up by an arrow, with Lemming trying to shift the blame & Mother who was presented with a jar of Lime Pickle! [The arrow was actually laid by the Hare after they had parked up, but we wouldn’t want the truth to get in the way of a good story! – Ed]  TBT OBE put in an appearance, just after Ketchup had been awarded a Down-Downs, so he was out for Father & Son to have a hit!

David was out for his first Herts R*n, he was joined by Crusty Ring for making him come today!  While Skip completed 600 Herts Runs!!  My Lil’s Mum was out with him, for Hosting the Barbecue, with the RA necking her Beer.

            The Pack would be joined later on by Hashtest Dummy, who had been partaking in a long r*n early that morning!