Herts Hash Virtual Hash No.12

Lemming is an early bird with worms as he greets everyone with a cheery “Morning” - just as the 10 Minute warning before Virtual Hash No.12 kicks off is sounded

Tent Packer joins in with “I am here, remember me?”  He adds “Mouse rash (Moustache) is coming along nicely as barbers are closed!” Lemming comes back with “I do the one with hair sometimes!” which leads Tent Packer to retort with “Hair today good trick!”

Fliptop comes in with “Morning peeps. Vaguely remember some old ex pat with mouse rash..”

Tent Packer changes the subject with “I will go to first check and may have to go back to the chariot park as it will soon be time to go to Coco’s for her Sunday roast dinner!”

Kylie wonders “Is Mother about?” to which Mother replies with “About what?” in turn Lemming adds “Yes, but making herself pretty!”

Only 4 minutes to go! So the Hare makes small talk with “Did see that Pubs with gardens may open with Social Distancing measures, may be in a couple of weeks we can get out, if there isn't a spike in the R rating”

Canary Boy arrives “Morning!”  Lemming replies with “Morning darling Canary Boy!” in turn this gets a “Hello sweetheart!” as the Hare wonders if this “Is this an episode of 'Round the Horn"?  Fliptop says he fondly remembered “oh ah!”  Mr X comes back with sounds like “Julian & his friend Sandy?”

Tent Packer is back with “Morning, left hand down a bit!” which prompts Fliptop to correct “TP that's the navy lark!” as Tent Packer reckons that it’s the same difference.

Fliptop, as GM, finally comnes out with “Morning all, welcome to Herts Hash house Harriers virtual run No12.... Not so sunny today, RA must have not been touch with upstairs lately. Still the spot of rain will make the stinging nettles grow. So over to your surprise Hare today.......!

TBT OBE points out that its 11.00 as he can tell from his PC that has already has Google Maps fired up.

Well, its now Herts Virtual Hash No.12 Who'd have thought its a dozen weeks gone by already?

Today we start from outside of a Pub, though everyone who has driven has had to park over in the street – except Sludge who as usual manages to bag a spot right outside. Lemming interjects with “Just going to check if Mother is still here

Time to start the Hash as there’s a tip-tap of watches (in honour of the absent My Lil’) Is there’s a celebratory feel to this place? 🎂

There is no Check outside the Pub, just arrows pointing the way to the nor-nor-eastward on Parkway an avenue with shops to the right-hand side, at the end of the Parkway road arrows point the Pack over two sets of lights🚦, firstly over the road to the west, then just a few feet later to a large white curved memorial where the Trail changes tack again to the north & over 🏃 🏃♀️to the southern end of The Campus a green space 🌼🌼 , here the first Check is found, the options are: straight up the centre of the green, to the southeast or the Northwest by a nude statue?  Kylie is keen on running By the nude! 😁

Tent Packer is on to things early as he adds “Well in Garden City?”

As Mother tries to make up ground after a late start, Nothing is found by Lemming to the north, nor to the southeast, but northwest is correct as Fliptop, Milf  & Flying Sol calls 🙋♀🙋♂️ “On!” to lead the pack away to a triangular traffic island on the Campus junction of a one-way system, arrows direct the Pack westward on a town street of Bridge Road, here the Hare manages to get most of the Pack 🏃 🏃♀️on by Woodside House an old people’s maximum security rest home for the bewildered 👵 👴 though Sludge, TBT OBE & Tent Packer  are almost lured away! 👵 👴

No Eye Deer is worried about Tent Packer “Think the heat had got to you Tent Packer.....or the beer 😁?”  Tent Packer replies with “Tiger, Tiger burning bright tonight and a yet one more Tiger….”

Milf calls out “On! On!” as the Trail leads on across from Handside Lane one of the oldest roads in town, named after someone with a Germanic sounding name?  Then by a by-way to the north, the Trail turns by a converted Chapel 💒 to run up the ramp to find the next Check on an old disused Welwyn to Luton railway line 🚂, get the hankies out for Kylie!  The options are northward down the opposite slope of a former level crossing in to the estate of Roundwood Drive nestling in a woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳, eastward or westward along the former line?

Kylie must be on a delay as he replied to Lemming “Yes, but making herself pretty, a thought just crossed me, why is she prettying herself up for a virtual trail? 🧐” Not wanting to lose any brownie points this early in the Trail Lemming replies “Don't ask!”  Mother chips in with “Never you mind!”  Fliptop has other concerns “Anyone on? Well that check has got the pack all over the place!”

Mother replied to Kylie’s earlier question about getting made up, “Got a hot date later!” Milf replied to Mother “Can I come? 🤣” which spurs Kylie to reply “Thought that was illegal at the mo?”

Tent Packer throws out a spanner in the conversation with “So you want to see my mosquito bites?  No Eye Deer replied “Depends where they are!” Lemming goes off at a tangent with “Funny I'm going on a bike ride!” while Tent Packer adds “Love date shakes!”

Nothing for down by the houses on Roundwood Drive for Lemming & Milf, nor is there anything to the east for Mother & Canary Boy, so its westward with along the raised Ayot Way line with Fliptop, Flying Solo & Wanktlers as it arcs its way gentle around from west to northwest between the back of the homes on Bridge Road lining the left-hand side & the woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳 of Special Scientific Interest, after some 100 yards the next Check is found, so you head 🏃 🏃♀️northward in to the broadleaf woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳, or stick with the railway line 🚂?

With no Horrors on today’s Trail the ‘Adults’ make up with it as Wanktlers calls out “Choo! Choo!” & Mother “Chuff! Chuff!” &  state the obvious with Definitely railway for me😁

Mother & Fliptop (Who has reverted to type) go wrong on the line, dragging Tent Packer, Milf , Canary Boy, Mother & of course Kylie along in their wake, meanwhile Wanktlers & No Eye Deer drop down the short embankment & find the Trail heading northward among the trees 🌳 🌳 🌳, this is a loop for the Keenies to enjoy a bit of nature 🏃 🏃♀️, as after another 200 Yards the Trail leaves the main footpath & turns westward on a narrower path.  After 120 yards or so in to Sherrards Wood the Trail turns southward & take the Pack back to the former railway line 🚂, arrows point the way as the line’s course is now northwest for around 70 yards, then the Hash Find the next Check.

Your choices are continue on the old line deeper in to the Sherrards woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳, or take to a southwest bound footpath down from an area of hollows on a steep wooded Brocks Wood slope to an old lane in an area note for old badgers?  The choice is yours?

Mother gets the Pack laughing by telling them “Go deep!” & Canary Boy is not shy at coming forward as he agrees “Definitely Deep!”  Tent Packer is obviously at a loos end quarantined out in Malaysia as he claims “ I read an article on going Deep today, said it doesn’t really enhance the pleasure!”

Flying Solo is happy with Badgers, as is Fliptop & No Eye Deer, though No Eye Deer informs the rest that is Too early in the day to see badgers.  Flying Solo replies “I saw one in the greenway the other night!”  No Eye Deer replies “There's a sett right by the gate!”  “Ah, I see, was near there!” states Flying Solo, adding “Haven't spotted any this morning”

Mother is concerned as Lemming goes off on his own to the southwest, while Mother elects to go deep with Milf (Whoa there pebbledash!) as they were brave enough to take the rapid drop down to the Brockswood lane they, with No Eye Deer, Canary Boy & Wanktlers rewarded🙋♀🙋♂️, for the Trail is picked up & leads away by a Scout Hut ️, now the Hash are directed up a short steep climb at the end of the lane to reach the western side of town, here the houses are all the same 🏘️, lines of whitewashed homes 🏡🏡 on either side as the Trail heads south eastward for 250 Yards, then you reach a Check on the opposite side of a small dead-end 🏡🏡 street Delcroft Close to the south.  Do you continue back toward the centre of Town on Brockswood Lane or cross over the road to search the small side street?

Fliptop lets the Pack know why he’s on his own today “No Teddy today as he's off to the doggie swimming pool later!” (Doggie Paddle we presume?) Mother replied to Fliptop “Lucky boy, I'd love a swim!”

The Pack all seem to agree on the correct course of action & all go over to the Delcroft Close side street, following Flying Solo & Wanktlers  🙋♀ 🙋♂️  down the seemingly dead-end cul-de-sac of 1920’s homes, after the road has turned to the southwest, at the dead end a passageway Trail is found & arrows lead through this narrow route 🏃 🏃♀️to bring you out on to another dead-end cul-de-sac 🏡 🏡, this one has a Tennis Club 🎾 at this north-eastern end, which prompts Kylie Tennis club for me (could be an opportunity for a perve 😉) but there’s no time for leering neither for a set or two as the Trail continues 60 yards up Dognell Green to the junction where this cul-de-sac 🏡🏡 reaches a road that leads form north to south, a Check here offers you just two choices, uphill to the north or downhill to the south?

Wanktlers now adds that he saw a massive Hare yesterday, our resident gourmet Tent Packer asks him “Was it jugged?”  Fliptop now goes in to Homer Simpson mode with “Mmmmh tasty!”  No Eye Deer replied to Wanktlers No Haredressers open!  Mr X adds that he can do haircuts (One size fits all) Mother is quick with “Not mine!” while the ever witty Tent Packer claims “Sludge is good at Hare cuts!”

Not sure what Mother is on today but she is going ‘down’ again, on High Oaks Lemming has gone quiet as he goes wrong to the north, dragging Milf & Canary Boy but those like Mother who have gone down (Steady Pebbledash – Ed) find the Trail as it leads by a local Welwyn Garden City Golf Club to come down in to a small valley where once a light railway once ran 🚂, in Valley Road notably for carrying the clay to make the bricks that built the surrounding housing of large detached homes 🏡 🏡.

A Check is found at the crossroads with Valley Road & Youngs Rise here, options are northeast, northwest or southeast on a short sharp rise?  Tent Packer declares “Rise up! Rise up!” while Milf prefers the “Short and sharp” option & Mother agrees short and sharp in Lemmings absence, then suddenly Lemming is there with “I am back on Trail now!”  Wanktlers adds “What's up Doc?”

Fliptop tells all its getting very dark over here in Royston.  Kylie now comes clean with “I'm following NED and Flying Solo!” which leads No Eye Deer replying to Kylie “I wouldn't follow me!”

While Fliptop goes wrong, the rest seem to like it short, sharp & up the rise! As No Eye Deer, Flying Solo, Canary Boy call “On!” 🙋♀ 🙋♂️from up the short rise, Kylie is now stalking following No Eye Deer as they lead the way on a road of 1920’s 🏡🏡 homes to reach a Check on the crossroads with the Handside Lane old road mentioned earlier, here your options are straight over to the east, northward or southward?

Fliptop now goes over the road wondering “....must get a check correct soon!” Flying Solo finally goes wrong with Wanktlers & Canary Boy in tow, as does Milf while down to the south with Lemming is right as  🙋♂️ & Kylie is following Lemming this time & as Lemming is correct he declares “Who's a daddy?” As they indicates that they have picked up the Trail a sit leads down by a green space opposite a farm themed Barn theatre, the local Quaker House & also the Synagogue 🔯, the green has a few white washed homes 🏡🏡 of the Daily Mail 1920’s Model Village homes that look as if they’d have been an ideal design for the 1920’s in an area named after a local Handside Farm that has long since gone.  The talk of a farm makes Tent Packer think of Ambridge?

After a further 50 yards the Trail reaches a crossroads, a CHK is found on the corner by a very large old oak tree that predates the town, the Pack are now back on the old winding Handside Lane road named after the long gone farm, interestingly No.43 was the first home to be occupied in this town. On Dec 1920 I've posted a few pictures of these over the years.  There's also a nice sign at the front explaining all about them.

Your options are northwest down by a large old white ‘fruity 🍏 sounding’ Applecroft school, away down the commuter street 🏘️ to the southeast or continue southward down by an old black timbered & flint walled building of the Backhouse Rooms which was once a former School.

No Eye Deer has a thought – “Think I know where we are.  But not where I first thought 😄”

While Tent Packer is confused at the Check, Milf is lured away by the fruity sounding area but is way off the mark away to the northwest, southward it is as Wanktlers, Lemming, Flying Solo, Kylie & Wanktlers 🙋♀ 🙋♂️ locates the arrows down by the old timber & flint building, around 20 yards beyond this, by an alleyway 🏃 🏃♀️, arrows direct the way over the road to a footpath at the end of a large hazel hedge, Dust takes the Pack down by the tall hedge & a brick wall of a home to lead out in to the corner the grounds to Welwyn Rugby Club 🏉 & the Trail of Dust leads a 150 Metres to run by the Clubhouse & here is a Held Check, so its Sweetie Time 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 🍭🍬

Milf asks “What sweets are they Canary Boy 🍭🍬🍫?  While Mother must have been thinking of Sparky as she replied to Milf “Old ones!”

Fliptop asks “Skittles anyone...?” is ignored by the Hare as he adds “BTW, I have discovered in my local NISA Cadbury's Bourneville Old Jamaican made with real RUM, its rather nice” as Mother replied “Glad you’re keeping your alcohol intake up?” with a cheeky Wanktlers chipping in “No change there then!”

No Eye Deer wonders why there are Still no jelly baby emoji as TBT OBE claims I am lost! [What with Google Maps? – Ed]

Milf now “Have to go for a tinkle 😜” so the Hare recommends “Go behind the Clubhouse 🐿️!” then Lemming squawks “I'm there!” so Milf replies “Guys on the left as ladies are always right 🤣!”

Fliptop lets everyone one know “Buntingford brewery is selling 20lt polypins. Live beer! Not sure I could manage a whole one myself!” Mother replied “Bit far to travel for us we have the Tring brewery!”

Grazing time, 🐿️ scaring & Alcohol intake comments now over its back to the Trail & the options are found out of the car park & Hobbs Way, these are north or south?  You pays your money & takes your choice?

Just a few yards to the north on Colegrove is T found by Flying Solo on this 🛴 friendly Trail as she leads Canary Boy & Milf astray, but southbound as amazingly Fliptop finds arrows & call it so “On!” 🙋♂️, after 100 yards the road turns at the end to join the end of a green, here the Pack are led on to a roundabout on the top northeast end of the Stanborough green, over the first road & then on a few yards to the northeast to where arrows point the way over a crossing 🚦, having pushed the button, it’s time to cross over & follow the arrows up a very old single original Stanborough Lane track behind the tree-line 🌳 🌳 🌳 🌳.

The northeast bound route is now a cycle/footpath running behind the Gosling sports stadium 🎽 ⏱️ , some 150 yards 🏃 🏃♀️& the Pack come out from the shade of the overhead tree canopy 🌳 🌳 where the Trail crossed back over a set of lights 🚦 to the north-western side of the road, away from a garage entrance & the Trail cuts across a small green space by a roundabout at one end of a railway bridge locally known for an imperial measurement, the 20 Mile Bridge.  Kylie will be disappointed as the Trail turns away from the bridge & comes down to a Check only a matter of a few yards around to the west on to Rooks Hill

The options are westward or nor-nor-east? Milf calls out “On back Sludge!”  He in turn appoligies “Sorry couldn’t get my hair cut!” as a picture appears which has some comment that Sludge had let himself go 😘

Lemming calls out “Keep up Canary Boy the pub will be open soon!” Canary Boy replies “IM TRYING!” & Wanktlers says what the rest are thinking with “We all know that!”  Meanwhile TBT OBE chimes in with “We are at Welwyn Garden City!” prompting Milf to recall “I remember the pub in the snow😁!” 

Nothing for Fliptop down to the west on Rooks Hill, so its nor-nor-east with Milf & Mother 🏃♀🏃♀️ is the way to go as the Trail leads up an old street Longcroft lane that has established homes 🏡🏡 to the left but new modern small side roads 🏘️ off to the right, it looks like the Hash are heading Inn to Town on this segregated road to prevent it being a rat run, but not with this Hare as 500 Yards up the road & the Trail turns at the dividing street furniture the Trail takes to a northwest side street 🏘of Birdcroft.

TBT OBE asks “Are we going to finish at My Lil's for a BBQ?” The Hare tells him “That's a bit far from here isn't it?”  Mother adds 🍺🍺 “Wouldn't that be nice!” - Canary Boy 👣👣👣👣

At the end of the street the Pack come out to a Check, the choices are westward straight over of northward hoping it’s a short Trail now heading back? Lemming 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃️ Kylie says “West (unless your name is Sludge!).” with Lemming adding “Sludge does very long shortcuts! No Eye Deer replied “Think you mean long haircuts?” Sludge defends himself with “Only with mother!”

Lemming now adds “I'm halfway there as I'm common!”  TBT OBE is now bewildered as he asks “Are we on?” Kylie repliea to TBT OBE “Haven't seen you much on this trail?”

Flying Solo is keen to go the extra mile by going wrong, as is Kylie (Can’t believe that), while those like Canary Boy, Fliptop & Lemming may be called a “Lazy Lot!” by Mother in following Sludge but now they find out that it is a short Trail & northward it is on to a long green avenue, on the opposite side of the road you can see a famous line of houses for playing ‘Knockdown Ginger’ as up continue up the green space of the Parkway lined with a few Lombardy poplar 🌲 🌲 trees, it’s a long final 🏃 🏃♀️nor-nor-east trot up the one way system around the elongated green space, the On Inn  being found before the pack approach the Coronation Fountain   & an on loan Henry Moor Statue.

Where have you been Hashing today, it’s not the World’s End! (Google Maps didn’t win this week as Tent Packer got in first!)

Flying Solo was straight in with Welwyn Garden City

Clues were:


The Campus

The Ayot Way Welwyn to Luton railway line

Sherrards Wood

WGC Golf Club

Valley Road light railway WGC Brick Company

Handside Lane – Handside Farm (No 43 was occupied on the 6th Dec 1920

Barn theatre

Applecroft School

Welwyn RUFC

Stanborough Lane

20 Mile Bridge (Exactly 20 miles from Kings Cross Station)

The Parkway scene in The Worlds End

Queen Elizabeth Coronation Fountain