As the Trail is about to start the gathering Pack are shown a photo that shows that Paxo's been stocking up on plasterboard for future Trails! Due to the amount he’s stocked up he’s either he's going to set one really long one, or lots of Trails?
Fliptop joins with “Happy father’s day to all dads! Including those might not know they are 😄” [What ever does he mean? – Ed Flying Solo asks “Is Paxo about? Don’t think I've seen him on any virtual hash or quiz?”
Lemming is next to arrive with “Morning all!” & he adds “If I could find my dad do you think people will call me a bastard less?” The Hare disappoints him with a “Nah!”
Fliptop is back in with “So, welcome all to H4 virtual Hash 14. Hare is raring to get started. So circle up!”
The Hare comes in with “Good Moaning all & welcome to Herts Hash Virtual Hash No.14 which is now upon us as we still err on the side of caution. Will Bojo let us know more easing up of restriction later today?”
Mr X continued “After last week’s countryside run this week we have another that will not be scooter 🛴 friendly in parts, but as Scooters are so old hat it doesn’t matter!” as Elizabeth now believes Scooters are outdated! Fliptop likes to make out his down with the yoof of today & commented with “Electric ones are all the rage!”
This week on this overcast day, starts from a public car park, what’s more to add salt to the Hash wound there are three pubs close by, the Great Northern, The Eight Bells & The Horse & Groom, so anyone of them could be the starting point! There is no Check point for this week’s start, something that would cheer My Lil’ up immensely (If only he was here!) as the pack are directed by an arrow points the way out up Arm & Sword Lane a slight rise to an old Great North Road main road, here the first Check is located.
The obvious options are to the north, the south up the Great North Road or over the junction 🚦 to a Railway bridge in the west by Hatfield Station?
Milf is having problems in her choice of direction, perhaps she’s developed a stutter as she comes out with “A!” “A!”! “A!” “A!” then moans “It keeps changing it I want to go South please 🙃” so the ever quick Lemming asks “Is Milf from Liverpool?”
No Eye Deer arrives & says “Sorry. Bit late again. Might not be able to make the whole trail today?” as she decides its the Bridge for me.
At the mention of Liverpool, Fliptop gets in “I'd be grateful if no-one mentions football today!!😢” No Eye Deer gets in “Football 😂?” as does Milf with a not so innocent “Football?” while Lemming goes directly for “Is there an Arsenal near?” “Ooh Lemming...” says the Hare as Mother rounds things off with “Arse!” leaving a bereft Fliptop to respond “Ha Bloody ha!”
With nothing found by Mother, Lemming, Flying Solo & No Eye Deer over the Station junction 🚦, things look better for Fliptop as He finds arrows heading northward on by an ornate gate along the ancient route but as they reach the first side road off to the right 🙋♂️, but just beyond a Hatfield Social Club Fliptop finds a Bar Check, which is a little early on the Trail for some!
So, back a few yards to find that the Hare has marked the Trail off by an old bronze statue 🗽 of Lord Sailsbury, take a good look folks as it may not be there in years to come with the current fervour of removing history 📚 (Good or bad, History is there to learn from & if it is erased then future generations will not learn) once through the ornate iron gates the Pack now head off due east on a wide drive that leads over an old red-brick 🧱 bridge for about 170 Yards in to a park that has ties to a famous 🕵️ Lord Burleigh & His Son Robert Cecil from yester-year to find the second Check point, the options are to head sou-sou-westward toward an imposing looking building of Hatfield House that looks like it ought to be in a film, or to head northwest on a path running through a managed Home Park woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳 to the north, or head due east toward a T junction with another main drive to Hatfield House?
Flying Solo fails further eastward, only finding a T, Mother doesn’t fare much better as she too find a T, its down to Milf & Lemming who 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ have ventured into the Home Park woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳 🌳 & finds the Trail, now the pack begin on a zig-zagging path that turns first to the northwest for 60 yards or so, then changes tack to the northeast for around 25 yards before the path heads away due north between the broadleaf 🌳 🌳 🌳 🌳 woodland, finally after a another 30 yards 🏃 🏃♀️the Trail leads out on to the north-south driveway where the next Check is found.
The options are north, northeast or south? No Eye Deer is catching up as he replied to Fliptop “Have I missed something?” about football & “It's only a game 😉” Lemming is now like a dog with a bone as he adds to Fliptop’s woe with “I am a little lost, just like a team I know!”
A T is found lurking along the drive to the north by Lemming, the south just looks like its heading back not that this stops Fliptop falling foul of the Falsie down there, it’s down to ♀️ 🙋♂️ Mother & Flying Solo who find Dust on the north-eastward path in to another section of broadleaf woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳 🌳 an area that was known for WWI Tank Trails. It’s a nice trot along the slightly serpentine like path for 200 Yards before reaching a wide section of river that looks like it was man-made to be aesthetic on the eye?
No Eye Deer & Milf compare home-made facemasks with one admitting “Now look like a bank robber 😯!”
A Check is found when the path comes out of the woodland, the options are to head north-westward or south-eastward
Lemming & Milf in the northwest up toward a main road & fails to find the Trail. However Mother & Fliptop pick up the Dust 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ & call “On” between the river Lea & the woodland 🏃 🏃♀️on a path down to the southeast, after 150 yards the path the Trail is on turns due south to run another 50 yards to find a Check point just beyond the edge of a small vineyard.
Only two choices, sou-sou-west on a wide drive from the vineyard, or due east on a track through another section of broadleaf woodland 🌳 🌳 🌳 🌳? To the southwest is a splendid vista, so take time to take in the view!
The late arriving Sludge puffs “Damn, caught up at last!” just as No Eye Deer admits “Love a view!” Fliptop warns those entering the Vineyard “Don't pick the grapes .... Still sour!” Fliptop adds “Cherry's are ready though!” Then No Eye Deer adds “Birds got my cherries ....” as the Hare is relieved luckily Pebbledash isn’t here!
Now Sludge finally caught up with the Hash, while Lemming goes wrong again with Milf & doesn’t find any Dust to the east, it’s a better choice taken by Mother, who seems to be on form this morning who find the Trail down the avenue some 200 yards long until it stops at the T-Junction with another driveway, this one running from east to west. At this junction a Check is found by a very large old knobbly Oak 🌳 👸 👑 that seems to be of some importance, known as the Elizabeth Oak, it was where the Princess Elizabeth was seated beneath was told that Queen Mary I had died & that she was now Queen of England! The choices are east or west?
Milf thinks “Go West” before reconsidering & realising “It is time for a toilet break? 🙃” No Eye Deer than informs the rest “Coffee break for me. Back in a sec!” Milf asks No Eye Deer “Bring biscuits 😀!” Mother replied to No Eye Deer “You only just got here 😆”
There are other Oaks 🌳 dotted about around here, something of a musical atmosphere is found in the air around these parts as they stage ‘Folk at the Oak’ concerts here, though Lemmings joyous calling of “On!” (since he’s actually found dust) is not music to No Eye Deer, Mother, Milf, Fliptop & Sludge’s ears after they go wrong to the west, as the Trail is picked up to the east, 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ calls “On!” then after 100 yards an arrow points the way north-eastward along the edge of the woodland & back up toward the river Lea.
Before reaching the river’s edge the pack arrive at the drive they had crossed earlier, here a Check sits & there are tryptic of choices, these are westward or eastward on the drive of northward back to the rivers edge?
Lemming now believes that “I'm on a roll!” Milf replied to Lemming “Is that sausage?” Mother spills the beans with “Chipolata!”to which Milf adds “So I’ve heard🤣🤣🤣🤣” then at the mention of “Cocktail sausage Milf adds “Yummy 😋!” The Hare is so pleased that Pebbledash is not here!
The westward option sees Milf go wrong, Lemming stop in his tracks at a T as there is little sign of a Trail on the path back to the river’s edge, but to the east Dust is found by Fliptop & the Pack begin the longest section of the Trail so far, after 100 yards the Trail turns north-eastward with the drive, the Pack now follow 🏃 🏃♀️this for the next 400 Yards until it emerges out on to the elbow of an old lane, a Check is found by a small Saw Mill Lodge lodge house on this narrow single track by-way. Just for TBT OBE, this section of driveway may not be an official right of way but since the Pack are virtually leaving it doesn’t really matter!
The choices are northward over the small pack-bridge over the river Lea, or eastward down the lane as it hugs the river Lea’s edge Milf On back 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Lemming fails again big time over to the east, don’t keep laughing at him as he’s taken Mother & Fliptop down that route! Meanwhile 🙋♂️ Sludge & Milf a far better job by crossing the bridge over the river Lea, then up beyond the old saw-mill & Tylers timber merchants [Teebs would be furiously typing in Herts Timber Merchants so he can steal the march on the rest of you guys if he was here!] The Trail now comes up to a busy main A414 Hertford road, so care is need & some of the Pack need to hold hands 👫 while this is negotiate 🚗 🚗
Milf ask “Just hands?” & the Hare reiterates “Yes, just hands!” All safely over the carriageways & the next Check is found, only two choices, westward along the roadside footpath, or further northward on a lane that is now a dead-end, though years ago it was accessible?
Away to the west and all that Fliptop, Milf & Mother get is the wiff of the nearby Mill Green sewage works in their nostrils 💩 👃 Milf syas its “Stinky 😆” as the Hare informs her “Only if you are down-wind!”
Beyond the metal barriers to stop anyone from using the lane Flying Solo & pick up Dust 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ as they head off 🏃 🏃♀️between the large established hedges on either side of the sedate narrow route. Is there a cry of ‘Fore’ coming from the west? ⛳ on Mill Green Golf Course. Now the Keenies are taken some 400 Yards up the lane until reaching the end of the lane where it joins a Sporty Equine 🏇 👒 sounding named road of Ascots Lane, here a Check is found, there are multiple options here, southwest on the left on a footpath crossing a Golf Course ⛳, straight across the junction & by a metal barrier into a housing estate 🏘️ on the edge of a boundary, Boundary Lane was the boundary between Hatfield Hyde & Digswell Estate, or finally away to the northeast on the other section of the lane?
Fliptop warns the Pack to “Watch out everyone Sis is sneaking along at the back of the pack with Teddy!” While Lemming, Milf & Mother go wrong, they are not alone as Flying Solo & Fliptop don’t find Dust either, so they are all called back by the Hare. Milf shouts out “On back🏃♀️🏃♀️!” Flying Solo 🏃♀️ Milf is too early in wanting Sweets 🍬 as is Mother 😛
It’s down to Milf & Flying Solo , on their second attempt from the Check, who elects to check the estate option beyond the double steel barrier. This area is normally associate with My Lil’s barbeques but sadly not today as the Pack have to concentrate on getting on with the Trail now follow the arrows as they turn westward to lead the way on a narrow tarmac footpath behind the homes 🏘️along the edge of the Boundary lane, this being separated by a tree line 🌲 🌲 🌲from the passing traffic 🚗 🚗.
Lemming needs his eyes testing as he declares “Flour must be costly in this area?” Milf replied to Lemming “Have you seen some?” Mr X says that he’s” Got 4 bags of flour but not as much plasterboard as Paxo!”
The houses stop, on the opposite side of the hedge are farm fields 🌾🌾 & the Hash come down to a junction with an old singe track Hollybush lane to the north, this prickly sounding old route leads back up toward the 1950’s estate 🏘️& that’s the way the Pack are turned. Through a small narrow triangular to head due north for just over 100 yards & then on up through a raised verge covered in Holly bushes to come out in to the top north-eastern corner of a farm field 🌾🌾, no Check here just arrows pointing the way along behind the homes along the line of homes 🏡🏡 heading out along to the west 🏘️. A hundred yards along & now a Check is found on this local dog-walkers route 🐕.
Here the options are north out between a couple of the homes 🏡🏡 into the estate 🏘️, southward back over the farm land toward the old lane, or head further westward along the top of the farm land? Milf is Checking 🏃♀️🏃♀️
Nothing down toward the lane by Milf & Fliptop, so it’s a turn around to head back to see the rest going through the gap in the hedgerow over a fallow bit of land & in the centre of this rectangular plot is a Held Check, here the Hare offers up two option, you can head northward on a longer Trail or southbound on the short cut?
Lemming wants “Athletic North” for him, while Sludge asks for Sweets? Mother reckons she is in need of the exercise. Milf also want “Long one please 😀” as Lemming is straight in with “You would!” Mother asks if Kylie's changed😆 Milf lets the Pack know that he’s Sleeping 😴
No one, except Fliptop, wants the Short Cut, but it will be marked for Sludge if he comes back? So the pack, spearheaded by an athletic Lemming head of to the north for 50 yards to pass through the tree line & on top an alleyway that runs along the southern end of an 1990’s estate 🏘️, here arrows point the way to the west & out to the main road, as for 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ Lemming, Flying Solo & Millf no hanging around as the Pack are pointed the way over the cycle route & on to the western side of the Chequers road & straight through a gap in the tree-line.
Sludge I’m back No Eye Deer Me too Milf And ME Mother And me
Flying Solo Coming No Eye Deer Had 100 messages to read through before I found the right route 😉
Lemming And me
Now in arable farm land 🌾🌾 the Trail runs 🏃 🏃♀️on a path from the bottom of a plantation to head sou-sou-west on a path that again is used by local dog walkers 🐕 Teddy can be let off the lead, but this one is an official footpath, it’s a nice long trot passing from one field, through the dividing hedgerow & out into another, its quite scenic & for Kylie (Who’s a sleep in bed 🛏️) there is the added bonus of there being a railway line over to the west 🛤️!
After 300 yards the Trail comes out on to the hard-capped of an old single track farm track, here a solitary farm house 🚜 🏡 sits, as well as a Check point, your options are northwest over to a bridge in the railway embankment 🛤️ or around the bend of the lane before it heads away to the southeast?
Milf Have to stop to talk with dog people No Eye Deer replied to Mil Give them a card
No Eye Deer under the bridge Sludge I’m round the bend Flying Solo Round the bend
No joy toward the railway 🛤️ for Milf Mother & Fliptop, but Lemming & Flying Solo pick up dust on the as the long route passes around by the southern tip of a plantation 🌲 🌲 🌲 to the follow the lane around southward on to an ox-bow like short section of lane, here just a couple of red-brick house sits sheltered form the main road by the curving tree-line for 80 yards 🏃 🏃♀️. 🌾🌾
Lemming What is a yard No Eye Deer replied to Mil Give them a card No Eye Deer replied to Lemming 3 feet Milf replied to Lemming More than a sausage 🤣 Fliptop We call a yard our back garden No Eye Deer replied to Milf Depends on the sausage Ok lets get your Wurst puns out now!
There are arrows pointing the way down to the south & out on to the main road, by the high security fenced off large home to the west, this once mistaken to be the late Dale Winton’s home 🛒 🏡, but it wasn’t! The Trail is marked straight across the bend in the main road, now it’s over to the eastern side, it’s here that the SCB of No Eye Deer after her coffee stop can be found walking down the Cycle route from the earlier Held Check. there arrows point the way southward in to a small isolated hamlet wedged between the main roads on two side of a triangle.
After 150 Yards the Pack 🏃 🏃♀️reach the Sweetie Stop 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 at a Check by a boarded up Pub with Morris Dancing connections for the Hash.
Flying Solo 🍭 Blimey Mother, what a sight!! Lemming What's Mother doing now Mr X She's flashing her sweeties
Fliptop Hypnotic sweets Yes, makes you feel a bit odd!
Its passed now! No Eye Deer replied to Mother So much choice Milf Yummy 😋 Mother replied Did you need the loo? Milf Or a first Aider?
After Mothers tantalizing goodies on display There are two options when the Trail resumes, eastward between a couple of metal width restricting posts on to a narrow slip-road to the main drag out of town, or westward down by an old water Mill & museum?
Nothing is found out toward the main road, again just the wiff of the local sewage works 💩 👃 in the nostrils of Lemming, No Eye Deer, Flying Solo, Fliptop, Sludge & Mother 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ calls it “On!” & call Lemming back as they pass by an old horse trough that once sat at a crossroads on the Great North Road, the Trail crosses a wide river & beyond the working Mill Dust leads on to a footpath that rises up north-westward between a couple of horse paddocks to the main road, having taken the 100 yards path, the Pack are back on the main road, only some 200 yards fomr where they had crossed over earlier!
Arrows point the way to take the Hash south-westward along the roadside, this now crosses a road bridge high above a dual carriageway below, once over the bridge the Trail has to cross a triangular junction that only joins the main road 🚗, again time to hold hands 👫 to cross over! On the way the Pack pass a road sign for the town that proudly displays its former role in the development of aircraft ✈️ but most of the Hash know this town for being the home for free range 🛒 🛒 & the lesser spotted Hyena!
Milf Clean hands I hope? 😀 Very Clean hands
Some, like Sludge, now believe that they are on the last leg of the Trail as the Hash now pass by a small gate-house to start on a rising path that gently curves to the southwest, fortunately the Trail is heading back toward the On Inn & the Hare is very lenient as the arrows direct the Pack 🏃 🏃♀️off of the main road, over the grassy verge to a footpath cut-through between the bollards to cone out on to the dead-end of the old section of road to the County Town.
Lemming A nice Hare. Never Sludge Sludge is on his last legs Milf replied to Lemming There has to be a first time 😁
The Trail has a 1950/60’s estate 🏘️ to the right & the plantation of a park to the left, it’s a shaded trot & there is one last Check point, do you continue along the old lane, or search the possible alleyways between homes?
No Eye Deer replied to Sludge Oh dear I need a shopping trolley so alleyways
Except for Mother, it’s straight on, no messing about as the Hare is thirsty & by the looks of it so are the rest of the Pack! So, the Trail follows the south bound lane for 400 yards to pass under the red-brick 🧱 old bridge the Pack started off on, the On Inn is found under the bridge & its back through to the car park. So, where have you hashed today?
Tent Packer turns up with “Am I too late?” Lemming ribs him with “Not late for next week!”
Guesses are Fliptop Hatfieldish; Sludge Horse and gloom; Milf On Inn 🏃♀️🏃♀️; Flying Solo Hatfield; Milf Hatfield Well done Milf, by the way, as its a virtual Hash you have saved on the £11 entry fee to Hatfield Park (My Lil’ would be pleased by that!)
Fliptop goes on to reckon “Seems like we've run from one side of the county to the other..... puff pant!” while the Hare lets the Hash know that “It was 4.5 miles!” No Eye Deer replied that she thought that “Felt shorter. Not a bit puffed!” Mother replied “Too long! Need a rest after all that!” Milf replied “At least the sun is out!” while Lemming ponders “Is the pun open?” Lemming the realises hjis mistake & corrects himself “Or Pub You have to sit in the garden 💐”
No Eye Deer says to Lemming “Think you were right the first time. Lots of puns!” A relieved Lemming comes back with “No probs, as long as I have a pint in hand!” Tent Packer panics with “No hands! No hands!”
Milf Home it is then😘 Fliptop “Another good virtual run with lots of clues. Thanks Mr X have another Down-Down!”
Milf “Thank you again Mr X!” No Eye Deer “Thanks again!” Lemming has the cheek to finish it off with “Nice one Mr X. If the pub was open I would buy you a beer. But never mind!” The Hare will will remind you 😜 Lemming!!
Clues were Lord Salisbury Prime Minister (Also the estate was given to Lord Salisbury, Lord Cecil was Spy Master to Elizabeth the First
Tank Trails took place there in WWI before they were deployed in 1916
Elizabeth Oak, where Princess Elizabeth was sitting when she was informed of the death of Mary I & so became monarch
Tylers Saw Mill
Mill Green Golf Course
Boundary Lane, Welwyn garden City (Originally Marked the edge of Hatfield & Welwyn Garden City)
Mill Green (Green Man Pub, Mill Green Museum & Mill)
de Havilland Aircraft (Home tot he Comet, the World's First Passenger Jet Airliner)