The Early bird is Canary Boy cheeping a cheery “Morning!” Milf greets the Pack with a “Morning!  While Kylie asks if “All here?” just as the optimistic Hare greets the Pack with “Morning all - Here we go for the last time, fingers crossed 🤞” [This was all before the Governments change of heart with the up to 30 People meeting, for at least two more weeks! – Ed]

Lemming must be on the sauce early as he arrives with “FRB Lemming here sir!” which bewilders Mother who adds “” then the Hare sees Mother’s emoji & asks Mother “Who's that? Jessie J?”

It seems that both Mother & Lemming have been sorting out new emoji’s that leave Lemming looking a lot different as the Mr X asks Lemming “Where have your wrinkles gone?” At least he got his haircut correct!  Kylie notices The gifs are back.  😄 Lemming then replies to Mr X “What wrinkles?” as Milf asks if he has had Botox?  Then adds “The ones Mother irons out!” as Mr X thinks Lemming has had Bolox more like than Botox.

The Hare then requests “Let me regain my poise & stop laughing!” as Lemming reckons that the camera does not lie! [FX – Ed]  Kylie then questions Mother’s emoji claiming that she looks a bit surly this morning? As the Hare adds “Ah, that look that only women can do...!  Lemming leaps to Mother’s defence with a surly “Surely not!” Mother adds “They all do!”

3D joins & Kylie points out she’s only 7 minutes late!  Lemming goes for an early guess of Silchester? [Where the F*cks Silchester? – Ed]

Milf shows the Pack a glass of wine & Mothers says she’ll have some of that!  Lemming goes all religious & reckons Water to wine is needed!

Today we start in a Village that existed from Roman Times, if not before?  Its pretty olde worlde here as for the last time we can virtually hear My Lil’ tapping his watch! ⌚  Canary Boy & Lemming discuss that the pro’s & consof going to Spain & a 14 day isolation on coming home.  Mr X adds that I see my MP flew out to Spain on Saturday & will have to do 14 days coming home! Not bad for being Transport Secretary?  To which Mother asks “Extended paid holiday?” while Kylie wonders if He's testing the transport out there?  But he flew back two days later to work from Home!

The Trail starts from a Pub of Black & white timbered build, which has connections with the local Church ✝  St Michael’s ,  just for My Lil’s virtual benefit the Hare has set the first Check right outside of the Pub, so this means that there are only two options to take, North east or southwest?

Only a T is found by Mother, Milf & Canary Boy just before a small pack-bridge of St Michaels Bridge over a river Ver, so its back for them to follow Lemming & Kylie 🙋♀ to the southwest it is, then after 25 Yards its up to a Check by the entrance to a small Verulamium museum by a St Michael’s Church ✝ here the choices are southward on an access road to a car park 🚗 or northwest toward a main Hemel Hempstead road?

No luck for Milf, Mother & Lemming away on the access road to Verulamium Museum, but Canary Boy fares better 🙋♂️ to the northwest, so it is away for 30 yards & then the Trail changes direction to come up to a T-Junction where the narrow village road joins a main Hemel road, the Trail now leads the Pack south-westward, on the opposite side of the road is a theatre 🎭 on a road that is named after a primary coloured home. 

Anyhow, the Trail passes by a short pull-in type of side road 🚏 then it’s on up a gently rising main road for a long 300 Yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️ before the arrows point the way into the south-eastern fence lining the main road, the Trail markings have now changed to flour blobs & now in the enclosed meadow 🌾 🌼 🐝 by Verulamium Park the Trail continues for another 100 Yards to reach the south-western corner of the field.  Here the Trail turns to the southeast & after 30 Yards there is a Check point, options are: to search out into the southeast over the Verulamium park ⚽  land, or through the tree-line on to a royal 👑 sounding King Harry lane leading south-eastward from a roundabout, then on to a footpath that is signposted to St Stephens Area an estate 🏠🏠 🏠 in the south-western side of the lane?

Out on the King Harry Lane road & there is no luck for Milf but its good news for Lemming, Mother, Kylie & Canary Boy as Dust is picked up 🙋♂ ️ 🙋♀ for 150 Yards 🏃♂🏃♀️ Kylie calls ON ON! 🏃🏻♂🏃🏻♂🏃🏻♂👣👣 toward the patch of woodland in Verulamium Park, in among the Broadleaf Trees & the Trail now rises up an embankment for the old Roman Fortifications.  Within the wood a Check is found, the options are to drop down to the rampart bank to the north & out in to open Verulamium park ⚽  land, drop down the southern bank through the trees 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳 & out to the road, or stick with the high desire-line path which bends around the contour of the earthen rampart ridge?

The Trail carries on through the trees as "On!" 🙋♀ is called by Mother & Lemming 🙋♂ as Kylie hopes Mother has cheered up? Mother is on a bit of a trip as she declares “I'm going high!” & Kylie adds “High path for me (hopefully Mother had cheered up a little)” with Lemming to Sticking with the high ground.  Canary Boy admits “I think I’m lost?” as Milf confesses “So are we!” & Mother agrees “We all are!”

So, Everyone stays on the bank as the Trail runs for another 100 Yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️  on an undulating surface with plenty of old knurled tree roots, a potential TBT OBE & Sparky trip hazard!  A further 100 Yards on the path & the Trail turns north-eastward for a further 200 Yards.  Now the Trail comes out on to the end of an old partial buried stone work of the Roman Walls, time to be careful again for TBT OBE as the Pack descend the stone & flint prominence known for having a capital sounding London Gate name.

A careful descent down the stonework to find a Check on a wide tree-lined 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳  tarmac footpath running from southwest to northeast by a deep wooded 🌳🌳🌳 defensive ditch to the east which Lemming believes is an Old Latrine, these are the only two choices from here on Verulam Hills path so time to make your minds up.

A clue for you all - Things were got pretty hot around here in AD65 🔥 🔥 🏺 if you do a little digging then there’s a dark area of earth to prove it!  After Boudicca set fire to the City & raised it to the ground.  There are lots of thumbs up 👍 👍👍 now which leads Mother to request “Stop thumbing me!” [Thankfully Pebbledash is not here today! – Ed]  So Milf steps in with “I thought you liked it 😀😀”  Kylie adds fuel to the fire by stating “I was just about to mention that my phone is playing up because of my sticky fingers!” & Mr X is straight in with “The Rolling Stones - do I get a point?”  Mother informs Kylie that he should use his thumb!

Kylie tries to defuse the conversation with “I'm a bit sticky from my marmalade on toast!”

A T stops Kylie & Lemming dead in their tracks to the northeast, better luck for Milf in the southwest 🙋♀ as she lead the way up the wide, gently sloping tarmac way under the shade of a tree 🌳🌳🌳 canopy height above, iron railings to the left prevent people like TBT OBE from tumbling down in to the ditch.  After 200 yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️ back on the long end of a hairpin route to the regal 👑 sounding King Harry lane, out of a gap in the railings to find a Check on the road side path.  The choices are now limited to two, search down the road to the southeast, or use the nearby crossing to search a signposted footpath running south-westward between the houses on a 70’s estate 🏠🏠 🏠 🏠 in St Stephens

A T soon has Canary Boy scuttling back from the southeast, as the echoing "On! On!" calls 🙋♂️ 🙋♀ from Mother, Milf & Lemming reverberates from over crossing & down tree-lined 🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳 Footpath between the St Stephens 🏠 🏠 homes for 120 Yards 🏃♂🏃♀️ to a CHK where another path off to the southeast?   Options are to continue searching the footpath or break off into the estate 🏠 🏠 to the Southeast!

3D’s silence is broken as she lets the rest know “My screen is stuck and I don’t know why?” so Kylie sticks his chin out & does a Brucie with “Nice to see you 3D!”

Mother now has emoji issues as she post a part cyborg version of herself & the Hare wonders “Mother, so you need a First responder or mechanic to look at your Arm?”

Continuing along the alleyway Mother & Lemmings ’s progress is terminated by a large T that even Where’s Wally? Could see!  So it’s back for Mother & Lemming to find the Milf, 3D & Canary Boy running out into the estate 🏠 🏠 🏠 area to be led by a Maximum Security Twilight Home on the edge of a square that shares James T Kirk’s middle name of Tiberius Square!  TBT OBE’ll be Googling now if he was here?

After 30 Yards arrows turn the pack to a south-westerly direction down residential backstreets with some sympathetic blocks of apartments, then after a short trot the Trail turns again.  Now it’s a 20 yard trot to the start of a small dead end close 🏠 🏠 , now another 20 yards more to come to a wooded path leading northwest behind the four blocks of 🏡 🏡 semi-detached homes. The FRBs now comes back out to original alleyway where the knitting circle of none were supposed to catch up, but you guys are too fit these days! For there to be any Knitting Circle!!

The footpath arcs slightly to come out on to an area of more establish homes on Rowlatt Drive, arrows point the Hash south-eastward & after 100 Yards the end of the road turns to the south for a mater of 20 Yards more, then at the T-junction there is no check but arrows point the way southeast to run 110 yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️ to a T-junction where a Westfields road heads away to the northeast, there a Check is found. Time to narrow down the search by looking either on the urban 🏠 🏠 north-eastern road, the opposite south-eastern suburban way, or south-westerly to a signposted tree-lined 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳 footpath alleyway out to farm land 🌾 🌾 to the South?

Trail is found by Milf, Mother & Lemming, they drag Kylie down the tree-lined 🌲🌲🌳 alleyway but this is a rouse &   soon find a T out on the edge of the farm land 🌾 🌾 & the Netherway Open Space Canary Boy 👣

On Back for a second chance of finding the Trail, Milf goes wrong again, but thankfully put down their radios just long enough for the rest to call "On!" 🙋♂️ 🙋♀ along the north-eastern 🏠 🏠 urban Abbey Avenue road for 130 Yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️, then arrows turn the Pack to a southeast side St Stephens Avenue road.  20 Yards into this more arrows encourage the Hash to cross over to enter a park ⚽  hidden behind the line of detached homes.  

The Trail now leads the FRBs 🙋♂️ 🙋♀ around all to the corners of the rectangular field from the south-western corner to the south-eastern corner, with the Pack being in such fine fettle & so fit 🏃♂🏃♀️ under lock-down that there are no SCBs to wander along behind the Hare on a short cut behind the homes 🏡 🏡 on the bottom of the park ⚽  to meet the Hare where the only other entrance to the enclosed park ⚽  is located on St Stephens Avenue.

Back on the side road for a few more yards to come out on to the edge of a main Watford road that runs between two main towns in Hertfordshire.  A Check sits on the junction, this leaves the Hash with two options, nor-nor-east toward town or sou-sou-west away from the Town & toward a major road 🛣️?

Nowt lays down away from St Albans town for Milf, who isn’t doing a ‘Fliptop’ this morning, so it nor-nor-east as 🙋♂️ 🙋♀ Mother, Lemming, Kylie & Canary Boy (Who’s following Mother 👣!) leads the way for 115 Yards 🏃♂🏃♀️ to a roundabout, this small junction is made up of two conjoined mini-roundabouts, it’s all a bit tight as the roads have narrowed by an old regal 👑 named King Harry Pub on a tight corner.  Kylie asks Lemming “Are you climbing across people's gardens?”   But no need as The safety conscious Hare doesn’t mess around & the Pack are taken around to the northwest for 60 Yards to a crossing, arrows direct the way over this & out to a Check

The choices are Southeast back toward the King Harry Pub or northwest toward where the Pack had crossed the road earlier?

Lemming & Mother choose the Pub as they claim “Canary Boy’s round!” Canary Boy responds “Did someone say pub?”  But a T, almost hidden from view on the way up the road, now prevents a thirsty Mother & those in tow from reaching the regal 👑 named King Harry Pub (Nasty Hare!) However, just a few feet to northeast is footpath down through a wooded gap 🌲🌲 to the north & having taken a chance searching this way it pays off for Kylie & "On!" is called! 🙋♂  Kylie ON ON! 🏃🏻♂🏃🏻♂🏃🏻♂👣👣Down through an enclosed area dedicated an educational facility named after St Columba the Patron Saint of Bookbinders & Poets to run northward through the centre of a Abbey View Golf Course ⛳, the Trail runs further than any of the Hackers can hit a golf ball, then to finish 240 Yards 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳 to come back up on to the same tarmac path by the Roman wall that the Hash were on early, the cheeky Hare had changed the markings after the Pack had moved on!

With old markings crossed out on Verulam Hills path as fresh arrows point the way to come down toward the south-eastern end of a lake where a Check is found.  It’s now a choice of looking for Trail to the northwest into the open park ⚽     area, or northeast toward the Public Loos 🚻 by the east end of the lake, or southeast to common area with a 👑 palatial named Westminster Lodge sport centre in the distance

Milf’s direction is dictated by the fact she need a quick one!  Lemming asks “A Quick what?” to which Milf replies “You know 😜” Kylie also wants “Loo for me too.”  3D adds “And hand wash”  Lemming needs Paper & Milf wonders if the sun Newspaper will do?  Lemming claims he “Prefer the Times!” Milf replied “Too Fussy?” to Lemming as he claims he needs Bigger sheets!  Kylie brings back nightmares for most as he frightens Lemming (the rest) with “It's Izal for you.” Mother then tells Lemming that “Any old rag will do!” for him.Calls "On!" are called 🙋♂️ 🙋♀ as the Toilet stop option seems to be the most popular as Hash bladders seem to have shrunk during lock-down, Milf, Mother, & Kylie lead the way some 100 Yards to Check by the Lavs, as Leming appears to now be walking with a waddle? As He claims to have pooped! Time for some to stop off & spend a penny!

From the Check the options are nor-nor-west up fish-ponds lake’s edge, or northeast over a stone bridge spanning a river by an old Mill, or the final choice of South-eastward down a few steps to a river crossing which result in wet 🌊 f👣 feet if you can’t manage to leap using large wide spread stepping stones?  🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳

Whle most like Milf & Mother want to go in the lake, it is a nice day, Lemming has only one ting on his (Tiny) Minds & that’s Wet t shirts!  Canary Boy now believes “This is a great trail so far, what with the pub and now wet T shirts! 😂👣”

No luck over by the monastic lake for Milf as her searching powers have been reduced to that of the honorary GM, Mother makes the mistake of following Milf, no Dust there!  There is no Dust over by the Mill & a famous Ye Olde Fighig Cocks Pub 🐓 🥊 🥊 🐓 so it down to the water crossing & it appears that Mother has a whole range of imoji’s as she post a swimming one of herself but getting wet is only for those of shorter limbs than the long legged of the Pack, after some splashing 🌊 around its up in to a small wooded then out to follow Dust for 215 Yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️ along the northern edge of tree lined river Ver.

It’s a piece of cake for this Pack as they easily stride out to follow the meandering water way away to the east, there the Pack cross a wide wooden footbridge to bring them out on to a main Holywell Hill road that has connections to Religious water.  A Check is found in this area that once had connections to the Spenser Churchill family!

Options now are the steep flagstone rise up hill to the nor-nor-east, a less attractive sou-sou-west down the road & away from town, or straight over before the road bridge & on to the continuation of the footpath as it continues along the edge of the river 🌊?

No joy up the Holywell hill for Milf, who is having a bad day today for checking out Trail but once over the main road its success for 3D 🙋♀ & Mother who is now swimming with the flow of the river, back on dry land & Trail is seen by the side of the bridge & off down the continuation of the 🌊 river Ver side footpath, just a few yards in & the route crosses river banks by way of a metal footbridge.  After 50 yards on northern bank, along tree-lined 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳 route, the Trail continues for another 50 Yards & then changes direction to go around the end of local allotments.  Its a well Hashed route that runs for another 130 Yards 🏃♂🏃♀️ out to the east & on by a swimming pool 🏊. That is now the St Albans Sub Aqua Clubs home

Here a Check is found on the edge of a Cotton Mill road named after the areas former cloth making life.  Options now are straight over to a green space with a nature reserve of Sopwell Gardens by the river Ver‘s course, north or south up the suburban road?

A late arriving No Eye Deer is just in time to see Milf finally get the Trail right! as Milf calls "On!" ♀ ‍♂  🙋♀ from the green space that was home to a former Nunnery & Lee Hall Ruins which would send Father Jack Hackett into a frenzy, & for McWanktlers sake the Hare has kept the Trail to stick with the river‘s route & avoid going over to the old ruins to the southeast.  The tree-lined 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳 river’s way runs in to a small nature reserve over a patch of wet-land that the Trail runs above on a zig-zagging duckboard route spanning the reeds below 🌾. 🐝 🌾

The river & Trail meander by some more local allotments in the nature reserve as it turns gently to the southeast, some 200 Yards 🏃♂ 🏃♀️ later & the Pack come up to an old Railway 🚂 bridge on the Albans Way & a CHK, choices are the steps to the old southwest to northeast St Albans to Hatfield line above, or go under the arch to the search in the south-eastern meadow.

An aimless wander is all that is in store for Tent Packer & from the parapet above they can hear calls of “Tissues for Kylie?” then "On!" from Milf 🙋♀ from upon high as having scaled the wooden steps & turned northeast, with her Mojo back, Milf has searched some 20 Yards to northeast where arrows are found leading the Hash out to the level of the valley & then off of the tree line 🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳 to come around to the dead-end of an older Riverside road & here is a small nature reserve 🐝 🐝 a short way down by river 🌊.  It’s the ideal stop for a regroup & a sweet stop!! 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 🍭🍬

TBT OBE catches up & Lemming is not in a good mood as he tells Teebs “No sweets for late comers!” as 3D thinks it’s good that we have wine gums (even if it’s only a GIF)  Mr X then says “Hopefully next week I'll be sporting a Rutland Facemask, unless the rumours that its Canary Boys mankini are true?” [Urgh! – Ed]

Lemming reckons Mr X should “Just sniff the mask!” to which Mr X volunteers Lemming with “Well volunteered Lemming” Canary Boy adds “Don't worry it will still fit!” [Mr X doesn’t have a big nose! – Ed]  Lemming wonders how often Canary Boy washes his mankini, the answer according to Canary Boy is not enough!

On again & options are northeast on old line 🚂 that leads in to a new estate 🏠 🏠 & an old station or northwest up between the lines of old Victorian terraced homes🏠🏠?  No Eye Deer suddenly buts in with “Sorry. Out with my daughter so will do the trail later . Hope its well marked 🧐”  Which it is!

Out toward the old station on Orient Close in the northeast is a bluff by the Hare, so its back for Lemming, Kylie & his tissues to join heading away to the northwest up gentle gradient, it’s an urban 220 Yard 🏃♂ 🏃♀️ trot led by Canary Boy before the Trail leaves the road as it bends to the west, now on up a back passage [Yes it wouldn’t be the same with out being taken up the back passage! -Ed] fortunately the fenced in route last for only some 40 Yards to come up out on to the end of the Cottonmill road the Hash crossed down by the swimming pool 🏊. Here a Check sits beside the small roundabout on Old London Road next to the footpath exit, choices are nor-nor-east up urban street 🏠 🏠 southward back down to the pool 🏊 or to the northwest toward an area with a few Pubs?

Milf’s Mojo has now gone again down toward the pool at the bottom of Cottonmill, while the lure of the Pubs is far too strong for Lemming & Kylie as they a quickly on to the nor-nor-east & then over the next roundabout to run a few yards to the north by Victorian Terraced homes 🏠 🏠 🏠 🏠 on Keyfield Terrace & then find a BS outside of a white washed Pub, this used to be run by an actor! Being the last (fingers crossed) virtual Trail it quite right to enjoy your virtual Ales as they are brought out to you in the garden at the side (Hare spoiling you guys to celebrate the end of virtual Hashing! 🍺🍺🍺

Canary Boy is soon at the Bar buying a round “There you go... 🍺🍺” The Pack aren’t for shifting in a hurry, Milf goes for a Cider as Kylie gets another round in, offering to buy the round!  Tempted by another pint Canary Boy replies “ I'm with you Lemming. We'll loiter on at the back. 🍻!”  Kylie believes that this is spot on!

The GM pops up with “Hello, sorry not to be on Trail today. I'm driving back from Norfolk.. not right now obviously.  On! On!” & Lemming isn’t going to let him get away as he shouts out “Fliptop’s Round!”

Time to sup 🍺🍺🍺 🥂 up as it’s On again & surprisingly even after an ale the Pack are light on their feet & raring to go!  The options are north to a pass-through some 30 Yards to a main road, south back to the roundabout or northwest along a street of small terraced homes on Pagent Road, then after 60 yards 🏃♂🏃♀️ to the end of road is a Check by area of new builds 🏠 🏠 with a golfing 🏌️‍️ connection where Ryder Seed merchants used to be he who sponsored the Ryder Cup!, options south through the mews or nor-nor-west though the back of the new builds?

Nothing for Milf, which is becoming a running theme now, but having gone through the area of the new builds 🏠 🏠 made to look like Dolphin Yard a Coaching yard Kylie Mother & Canary Boy 🙋♂️ 🙋♀ it’s a trot of 60 yards to pass through an old haunted 👻 Coaching Inn grounds then on to Holywell Hill the religious water main road again.  The Pack now find themselves halfway up the steep hillside of olde fashioned shops on either side.  Arrows keep the Hash on their toes & lead down to a crossing , the pack cross over to the western side of this steep hill & then head back up 20 Yards to the entrance to a large Religious building, St Albans Abbey Cathedral here is the next Check.

The choices are up the Hill or into Holy grounds? Lemming is now worried that “Fire would appear if hash went on holy ground?”  [Nah, you’ve got the RA with you! – Ed] or [Perhaps you’re right Lemming! – Ed] But Canary Boy is more worried “I wouldn't want to burn my mankini .........😅” Lemiong has the last word on Canary Boy’s smalls with “Or wash it apparently!”

Can it get any worse for Milf as there is no Dust up the old flagstone path on Holywell Hill, so it back down to large religious building, so cross yourselves as it’s toward the stone edifice of St Albans Abbey Cathedral , as Mother, Canary Boy & Lemming 🙋♂️🙋♀ raise hands to indicate finding arrows found before reaching the nave the Trail turns north-westward on a path that leads in through a tall red-brick wall to enter a small walled Vintry garden with a wine connection, up through the tranquil gardens & then out of the old wooden gate to find a second Sweets 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 stop by an old chestnut tree of the Verdun Chestnut. 🌳

Time to resume the Trail, options to search are up though an old medieval shopping arcade, or west by Church✝ St Albans Abbey Cathedral?  Kylie now thinks that it’s a long trail today, did Karly have a hand in it? to which the Hare replies “Only in Spirits!”

Joy for Canary Boy, & Mother through the St Albans Abbey Cathedral Church side graveyard 🙋♂ he calls the rest on through the railing gates & then on down to an old Abbey Gate house

The Trail continues Southwest by the Romelands Garden of Rest 220 Yards on Fishpool Street old lane lined with homes that have front doors set high above the street level for most of the way, 130 Yards more & the cobbled path comes down to where the road & path are on the same level, as the Trail heads back in to the village, a Puddingstone is passed by where sits at is northeast end of the St Michael’s village, a best kept village sign is also passed by as the Pack come around to the south west to pass by old Mill & On Inn!

St Michael’s Village (St Albans)

Verulamium Roman Theatre

Roman Wall

Sacking of Verulamium in 61 AD by Boudicca

St Stephens

King Harry Lane

St Albans & Watford M25

King Harry Pub

St Columba

Westminster Lodge & Golf Club

Mill & Fighting Cocks

Holywell Hill

Cotton Mill

St Albans Sub Aqua Club

Nature Reserve

Albans Way St Albans to Hatfield Railway

White Hart Tap – once run by Melvyn Hayes

Ryder Seed Merchants

St Albans Abbey

Vintry Gardens & Verdun Chestnut

Abbey School Gate House & Romelands Garden of Rest

Fishpool Street